How Important is getting a Thank You card

Jodi1980

<font color=FF00CC>Pixie Dust can even make a mood
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Oct 16, 2001
Messages
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to you after you give someone a gift?
 
If I hand delivered it, it is less important. Especially since they would have thanked me in person.

It is very important to me if I had the gift mailed or sent by the store. Otherwise I wouldn't know if they had received it.
 
If it is some thing I mailed or gave to someone else I expect some sort of acknowledgement....phone, card, in person....not picky....

If I had deliver don't expect anything..
 

I am fine with a phone call if I sent it and a thank you if I hand delivered it.
 
Thank you cards have become mandatory in this household ever since I started dating DF. His mom is big on things like that so I kinda have to go along with it too. I never even thought it was that big of deal but to her it is, so I do it to make them both happy.
 
If given in person like at a birthday party, none needed. If mailed then a phone call or card would be nice just to know the person received the gift.
 
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Well for like Wedding, Baby, Housewarming parties I think is very important.

Kids birthday parties, not at all important.
 
Personally, I think Thank You notes are important. I went to a baby shower in December for DH's nephew's girlfriend... still haven't gotten a thank you note! (And I gave her a lot of stuff.)
I have my kids write thank you's for their birthday gifts and for Christmas too, and I do the same. (Regardless of whether the gift was given at a party or mailed to them.)
I know they probably aren't needed for birthday party stuff, but I want my kids to know that some people do feel it is important, so they do should it. I do feel that they are mandatory for shower gifts, mailed gifts, and wedding/graduation gifts. However, that is just my opinion.
 
Well I send them out for every gift my daughter gets, handed to her by the person, in the mail etc...always send them out. I have now cut my Christmas gift list in half...if I send a gift to people and their childen (I am talking kids that are 9-18) don't send a thank you card...well that is the last year that a Christmas gift is sent....
 
My niece and 2 nephews could answer that one. The two boys NEVER acknowledged any gifts - not email, phone, card or even a message via their mother.

My niece on the other hand wrote long notes telling me how much she appreciated the gifts and how much she loved and missed me.

So for the past few years - since the boys were 18 I have sent everything to her. If I had previously sent each of them $50 each , I now send her $150. Works for me. I've never told them that or announced it but surely they have figured it out.
 
My mother taught me that it was good manners to send a thank you note. I always write a thank you note. I would feel too guilty if I didn't.

Lori
 
Originally posted by CBRorBust
Well for like Wedding, Baby, Housewarming parties I think is very important.

Kids birthday parties, not at all important.
Ditto.

I'd like to say it doesn't matter, and people do overlook/forget/misplace things, but three years after a certain wedding without an acknowledgement of our attendance (we were out-of-town guests) or the lovely gift we sent off the registry...I can't help but feel slighted. And annoyed.
 
I have to agree that it is important.
To make a long story short, we had a friend help us moving in to our new home and this friend asked us when we were going to come see his new home. I said when we get invited, he said well you don't need to be invited we put the directions and address in our Thank you cards. I said OH, we never got one! It was never brought up again! Needless, to say I never saw that couple again and they are now getting a divorce!(8 yrs later)
To me, Thank you cards are very important to acknowledge the gifts!;)
Marilynn
 
I always send thank you notes. I think it's incredibly rude not to acknowledge a gift someone sent you.
If a gift is given in person, I think it's less important.
 
This is such a HUGE issue in my family. I have inlaws that not only don't bother to say thank-you, but they don't appreciate the thought. They just expect the gift. I had one niece ask me once why I didn't give her anything for her birthday. This would be the daughter of the SIL who I dont' believe has even realized that I had children! I have to be in a very giving mood to want to give them gifts. Not only do they not say thank-you, but if it's an event where they get more than one gift (Christmas, Birthday party) they couldnt' tell you who the gift was from.

Now I have a step-mom who wants a thank-you note for everything. I will not EVER send a thank-you note to my immediate family. I think a thank-you note tends to be informal.

Then my SIL sends thank-you's all the time. I think she must be related to my step-mom. I just helped my bro. and SIL move. I spent all day packing, moving boxes, and cleaning up cat poop and hair (I HATE cats!). As we get ready to leave there was no thank-you, no acknowledgement that I had just spent my day helping them. But, a week later I got a thank-you note in the mail from them. I would MUCH rather get a thank-you note in person.
 
I think thank you notes for kids birthday parties ARE very important - though I certainly don't blame the CHILD if they don't send one. I make sure my kids exclaim thank you to each child and say something nice about each gift at their party - and they still can't always remember who gave what (and we do small parties!). Writing the thank you notes gives them another chance to appreciate the gift and the giver! (Not to mention important letter writing skill practice!)

My 8 year old son belly-ached last year about sending thank you notes and he was told if he complained any more about writing them or complained about it at Christmas time, there would be no more friend birthday parties. He turned nine on Tuesday (His friend party was last Saturday) and he wrote all his thank you's last night. I can only think of two parties either of my kids have been to where they didn't receive thank yous - the parents in both cases are not exactly stellar. Maybe it's one of those regional things?
 
I would expect them from such things like wedding gifts or shower gifts, even if thanked in person. For most everything else, an "in-person" thank-you is sufficient. If a gift was sent, a thank-you note should also be sent. I guess a phone call would do to. I think grandma would prefer a phone call over a thank-you note. But, of course, it never hurts to send a thank-you note.

My son just turned three and I wrote out thank-you notes to his friends (who attended his party) and my aunt (who sent a gift). I didn't send them to the g-parents b/c we received those in person. I then had him "sign" his name on the card while I read it to him, so that he would sort of remember who gave him what. Then I had him put the stamps on and walk them out to the mail box. He was very proud to do that. Of course, then he got really upset when the mailman took them away. I guess I didn't quite explain what would happen to the letters.
 
I think that thank you notes are a courtesy. If someone goes through the trouble of purchasing a gift for you, the least you can do is write a short note of thanks. Especially in this day and age of paperless communication, it is nice for the giver to have something to read, and keep if they so desire. I am instilling the importance of notes to DS4 and DS6-we ALWAYS give a note of thanks for a birthday gift, even from another child. I sent my Godson a birthday gift mid March, still haven't received a note. I emailed his mom about 2 weeks ago regarding the receipt of the gift, as I was now concerned about it being lost. Had to email her again until she finally answered me that he had received it. She is very busy with 4 kids, but I am busy too. I had enough time to send the gift.... :rolleyes: I don't think that being busy is a good enough reason to be rude.:sad2:
 














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