How Honest Should I Be?

[Wishing on a star]

Everybody is mentioning how repeating 5th grade may be a hit on the kids self-esteem.

Well, IMHO, if this is a kid who still talks with stuffed animals, then he is going to have a BRUTAL hit on his self esteem when he is thrown in with middle-schoolers. This is the time when kids can be the most cruel. Talk about a hit on ones self esteem and self-image. Most middle schoolers could care less if you are 'advanced for your age', or 'smart', etc...

I would guess that this child would actually get a HUGE boost in self esteem when he is placed with his developmental peers and is able to be comfortable and successful.

I was a very bright kid. And, believe me, when being 'smart' or 'advanced' is the only thing you have to be proud of, at the expense of being ostracised by your peers, then that is not good for ones self esteem. It is not good for emotional and psychological growth.

Based on the OP's comments, my first reponse would be to definately hold him back. However, I would take some of the other poster's advice, and be very careful about how this was presented to him.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Another note here that I wanted to post separately from my above post.

Boys at this age are commonly known to still be immature at this age. Just the logistics and demands of Middle School (academics, changing classes, having multiple classes and teachers to keep up with, etc....) can be a big challenge at this age, even if the boy is not all that immature.

This issue might be one that you could talk to a school counselor about.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Everybody is mentioning how repeating 5th grade may be a hit on the kids self-esteem.

Well, IMHO, if this is a kid who still talks with stuffed animals, then he is going to have a BRUTAL hit on his self esteem when he is thrown in with middle-schoolers. This is the time when kids can be the most cruel. Talk about a hit on ones self esteem and self-image. Most middle schoolers could care less if you are 'advanced for your age', or 'smart', etc...

I would guess that this child would actually get a HUGE boost in self esteem when he is placed with his developmental peers and is able to be comfortable and successful.

I was a very bright kid. And, believe me, when being 'smart' or 'advanced' is the only thing you have to be proud of, at the expense of being ostracised by your peers, then that is not good for ones self esteem. It is not good for emotional and psychological growth.

Based on the OP's comments, my first reponse would be to definately hold him back. However, I would take some of the other poster's advice, and be very careful about how this was presented to him.

Thank you for this post. That is exactly how I feel. I would rather him be bored academically for a year than be scarred for life by the cruelty of the older kids.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Thanks!

And about my comments:

Another note here that I wanted to post separately from my above post.

Boys at this age are commonly known to still be immature at this age. Just the logistics and demands of Middle School (academics, changing classes, having multiple classes and teachers to keep up with, etc....) can be a big challenge at this age, even if the boy is not all that immature.

This issue might be one that you could talk to a school counselor about.

I just saw a link to this thread (below), and I thought it was a perfect example of the expectations and challenges that middle schoolers face. (IMHO, it is just way to much for many kids this age.) So, the cruelty of other kids is not the only issue. Readiness is a HUGE issue. When I see so many threads like this one below, on different boards, I have to wonder; if these problems are so common, then maybe it is the expectations just as much as the kids.

Is your son ready to handle this?
Or would you have to be the parent that is doing it ALL for him, because it is just too unrealistic to expect him to be able to handle it? You might want to consider your own sanity and well being as well as your son's!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1400217