How fast it all changed.

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Rodeo you did not make a mistake. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing, I would have done the same. What a stressful day for you, I'm very sorry. The end of one's life is usually not smooth and uncomplicated. You are doing the best you can given the complicated situation. I'm in awe of your strength, truly.

 

[OhhBother]

Please don't spend one moment -- not one moment -- worrying about his family or feeling stressed by what they may or may not do. Deal with it when the time comes, but don't let them rob you of all the hours between now and then. Your only priority right now is to take care of you, to be there for your kids and to cherish every moment you have left with your husband. Please don't let them take even a second of that away from you. You continue to be in my prayers, and I'll pray that his family will show even a tenth of the grace you've shown throughout this tragic time.

 

[Feralpeg]

My thoughts are with you!

 

[minnie56]

I am in awe of you ..may god bless you and hold you and your children close through these heartbreaking times..

 

[gillep]

You did not make a mistake, you are navigating an impossible situation with nothing but love, grace, and strength and are doing the best that you possibly can. Hugs and thoughts always.

 

[anniemae]

UHG. What an awful situation all around. I hope they come in peace and do not cause any problems. You did nothing wrong Rodeo, so stop beating yourself up. Right this instant. You did the right thing telling them, they deserve to know the truth, otherwise they would have been shocked and blamed you for withholding information. If they come and cause problems, it's on them, not you. Maybe they can come and have a quick visit then sit in one of the public areas for a while so they will be there, but not with DH. I am sure your DH would understand that you are in a tough situation and trying your very best to juggle many things at once.

 

[lifesavacation]

Could you ask one of your friends or family to be at the hospice tomorrow and deal with his mother and brother? I hate to think of this situation taking you away from your time caring for your husband.

 

[focusondisney]

Rodeo, is your brother there yet? Can he or your dad be at the hospice to run interference with the in laws? If not, speak to the administrator tomorrow. They do have some responsibility to help with preventing unwanted visitors. They need to help you with this.

You didn’t make a mistake. Everything you are doing is from the heart. Bless you all.

 

[Friend of a Mouse]

Rodeo,
What an impossible situation you are in. Hopefully the hospice can help run interference. I would imagine if you said no, they could tell them not to enter and call the police if they do, not that that in itself wouldn't be stressful. Your whole family is in my prayers and I hope that you all are able to find some small amount of peace.

 

[Wendy31]

I'm just so sorry.

My mother-in-law & I have had our differences, but, in the recent last months & weeks of my father-in-law's life, I learned a lot from her - the way she tirelessly took care of him w/o complaint, advocated for him, & just loved him so sacrificially. She was an example to me, as a wife.

And I see the same thing in you.

And, you know, sometimes, there is no right way, it's just the way it is. And you did absolutely fine. Your husband knows & feels how much & how fiercely you love him.

You are never far from my thoughts, & my prayers are with you all in the coming days.

 

[Lynne M]

Rodeo,

You didn't make a mistake, updating his mother. You did it out of kindness, and gestures made in kindness are always the right thing to do, IMO. If she or other family members can't behave properly, that's on them, not you.

I'm sure you've got friends and family who are wanting so badly to do something, anything to help you all right now. Enlist some of them as "bouncers." They can hang out and watch for trouble, and guide the problematic relatives gently away. I think any friend/loved one would consider it an honor and a privilege to do that for you. A gift of peace for you and your husband and children.

 

[lisaviolet]

Rodeo it is impossible to navigate such an excruciatingly difficult and heartbreaking time any better than you have. Do know that and keep it close.

 

[cjbcam]

There’s no words!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I’m sorry.

 

[ronandannette]

@rodeo65 - has your brother arrived yet? He would likely be a good candidate for manning the door in case unwelcome visitors arrive. You've bravely told them what to expect; if they choose to act contrary to what you've said you've got nothing to feel bad about. At this time it would be good for you to be arms-length from any direct conflict, for your own sake and the sake of your kids. (FWIW, I love that you have expressed compassion for his mother, and considered things from a mother's point of view, but have chosen the higher good of honouring your husband. You are a very, very fine person.)

 

[Allison]

Hugs.

 

[stitch'sgirl]

Rodeo, like everyone else that has commented, I think about you and your kids throughout each day. My heart is simply breaking for you. The decision to tell your husband's family was a compassionate one, made through kindness. Please don't second guess yourself. There is no roadmap for a situation like this and you have had to make so many difficult decisions in such a short amount of time. I hope and pray for comfort for you and your kids and everyone else in your family as you continue to care for your dear husband.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I agree, and as I said earlier, these things never go perfectly. Don’t stress yourself over it. Set limits before they enter and be clear on what your expectations are. If you are only up for a short visit, say so and follow through. Don’t let them stress you to the point where you can’t enjoy your time with your husband and do and say the things with him you want to say and do. Will be thinking of you today and sending love and strength.

 

[mamamary]

 

[indimom]

Rodeo, I am praying for peace for everyone involved today.