How does your 10 year old daughter dress?

[disney ambassador]

We are considering having our child skip a grade. That means that in September instead of going to grade 4 she will advance to grade 5. She will be the youngest in the class, but only by weeks, not months or years. Right now she is the oldest in her class.

I want to make her transition as easy as possible. One of those ways is making sure she isn't dressing too imature.

 

[mkmommy]

My girls are in 5 and 6.

My oldest could care less what she wears and jeans and any tee shirts are the normal attire for school.

My grade 5 girl is at a different school and they are much trendier. If she could my youngest daughters closet would be full of Lululemon and Triplefit yoga wear,(which many of the girls have) but we have compromised on Aeropostal tee shirts and jeans or black yoga pants .

By grade 5 none of the kids are wearing Children's Place clothes anymore. I do find it hard to find clothes that are appropriate, especially with shorts.

 

[mom22belles]

We are considering having our child skip a grade. That means that in September instead of going to grade 4 she will advance to grade 5. She will be the youngest in the class, but only by weeks, not months or years. Right now she is the oldest in her class.

I want to make her transition as easy as possible. One of those ways is making sure she isn't dressing too imature.

My daughter is finishing up her grade 5 year.

Justice is big with the girls who are 'girly' ( lots of sparkle and neon) as is Siblings

My daughter tends to like leggings with a t shirt. Nothing to 'girl' . She favours ( as do some of her friends) funny/ironic sayings on her t shirts . Mostly from Bluenotes. Recently she has discovered Hot Topic but most of those are a little too mature.

 

[wdwmom3]

My dd is just finishing grade 5. She I really into skinny jeans and leggings. And things that are sparkly. She getting more "trendy" and her favorite store is marshals. Word of warning what kids like at that age changes. My advice buy her a couple things before school starts and then do the majority of any back to school clothes shopping after school has started.

 

[o0quirkygirl0o]

Okay, I don't know that you'll want my opinion, but I feel like I need to share.

I was the oldest in my class, by several months to a year, all the way through school. I was also one of the brightest in my grade all the way through school. Taking all that into consideration, I would say, don't do it. It is SO INCREDIBLY HARD socially on a kid. And, it can lead to a lot of social issues. Now, that is not always the case, but frequently it is. I knew I should have been a grade ahead the whole time, but I wouldn't trade my school experience for anything. I loved all my friends and teachers.

Now, if she is not thriving socially already, it might be a great choice. She can make new friends and be at a better academic level. But, I would really hesitate. I loved every year I spent in school and would have hated to miss out on one of them.

Just my opinion. Take it or leave it. I wish your family the best of luck no matter what.

 

[kuhltiffany]

I'm surprised the school would give you that option, I don't know of any school boards that do that anymore, it's very hard on the kids. Here they have the option of going to a gifted program, so they receive the scholastic enrichment they need, but remain with their same-aged peers. Kids who are gifted are also often socially awkward, so this is a much more effective and supportive option for them long-term...

 

[wdwmom3]

I'm surprised too. My dd10 is super bright and gets near perfect on almost every test etc. her report card is full of As and A+. They are recommending her for a special enrichment program where one day a week she will go to another school for enrichment, the rest of the week she will be in her regular class. Skipping a grade hasn't even been brought up.

But you know you daughter best and if skipping a grade is what would be good for and she wants to do then I say go for it. I have watched my ds who is also very smart start to slide in school because he is bored. They won't recommend him for enrichment because his grades aren't as high (Bs and some As). The only reason his grades aren't high is because he is bored at school and become lazy so he doesn't put any effort in (yes he gets Bs and As while putting no effort in). It can be frustrating getting the school to do what's best.

 

[cbmamainnf]

We also were approached with our daughter...to going from Grade 1-3. after a pile of research we opted out of it because of the social connotations...which statistically will not hit until about Grade 7-8....which is the worst time possible. She will go to Grade 5 in Sept and I am happy we held her back...the social drama is already starting and I think she will be able to handle it better with her peers.

 

[damo]

We've also got a child who was the oldest in his class and we considered moving him ahead. He's 24 now, and so glad that we kept him where he was. Kids can always work themselves ahead in high school if they want. Social acceptance in grade school is a huge factor in self confidence and happiness. Skipping into Grade 5 would be very tough if there is any chance that the other girls in the class won't be accepting.

 

[disney ambassador]

We have thought long and hard about this. It was not an easy decision. And yes, someday we may look back and realize it was the wrong one. But we think it is the best one we can make now, with the information we have. Our daughter has been the major decision maker on this the whole time. She says she wants to skip a grade. I do worry about the social, but honestly that happens regardless of grade. I have an older daughter who has been in her appropriate grade all along and does not do well socially and probably would have done better had she skipped a grade. We can only make the best decisions we can for our children and hope they are the right ones.

Okay, I don't know that you'll want my opinion, but I feel like I need to share.

I was the oldest in my class, by several months to a year, all the way through school. I was also one of the brightest in my grade all the way through school. Taking all that into consideration, I would say, don't do it. It is SO INCREDIBLY HARD socially on a kid. And, it can lead to a lot of social issues. Now, that is not always the case, but frequently it is. I knew I should have been a grade ahead the whole time, but I wouldn't trade my school experience for anything. I loved all my friends and teachers.

Now, if she is not thriving socially already, it might be a great choice. She can make new friends and be at a better academic level. But, I would really hesitate. I loved every year I spent in school and would have hated to miss out on one of them.

Just my opinion. Take it or leave it. I wish your family the best of luck no matter what.

 

[disney ambassador]

We did not make this decision lightly. And there is no way of knowing what the future will hold.

We have done our research, talked to others (the parent of a child who skipped a grade, an adult who skipped a grade as a child, a child who should have skipped a grade and didn't, a parent of a gifted child, an impartial teacher, our child's teacher). We have wayed EVERY option we can think of and we feel this is the best option for her.

I understand what everyone is saying about socialization. But in all honesty there are all different levels of social behavior in every grade now a days. She has also been in a split class twice so knows some of the kids she will be going to grade 5 with.

And this is not a done deal either. We still need permission from the school (board). This is the second teacher who has come to us and we have had her tested. We have been told she is a rare student that is both gifted and socially adaptable which the teacher has only seen a handful of times in her 15 year career.

I do worry about her adjusting socially, but I worry about what it will do to her to leave her where she is also. And as for Junior High and High School, they are never easy regardless.

We will keep our eyes on her and if we feel this is too much for her we will stop the process or once the process is done, if need be, we will have her moved back to her regular grade with her regular friends. We just are trying to do what we think is best for our daughter.

That is why I am interested in finding out what kids in grade 5 are interested in doing when they are together and what they wear. If there is a way I can help her, I will.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Sounds like you've done lots of research! May I ask, is she in a public, separate or private school? I know some private schools have different cut-offs for age/grades, we've had friends switch to private or try an alternate School Board as they felt that's where their child was better suited with the age range or options offered. Our school board tests all kids in Grade 3, then starts a specialized gifted program in Grade 4, but the boards all surrounding us do tests in Grade 4 with gifted programs beginning in Grade 5. Tons of differences

If you do decide to jump her up, I'd try and see if she can get together with the kids she knew from her previous split over the summer. That will give her an edge in the friend department, and maybe you can make some back-to-school shopping trips together...

 

[disney ambassador]

We don't have a ton of options where I live. There is public school with no real way attention paid to gifted students. We can put them on an IPP (An individualized program within their grade. but it is only as good as the teacher you have that particular year and they won't have access to advanced material passed grade 6. Her teacher feels that she is advanced far enough that putting her on an IPP will just make her stand out even more than she does already. She is in a 3/4 split, and doing the grade 4 work as well if not better and faster than most of the grade 4s and the teacher thinks she is even more advanced than that). There is private school, but again they would basically have the same system as public school, it would cost us around $10000 a year and we would have to provide transportation (we don't live any where near any private schools so I would have to drive through rush hour traffic to get her there in the morning and I have another child in a different school (going to high school next year) and have no way that I can possibly get two kids to two different schools on time. We could hire a tutor or take her to Sylvan,but again that will cost us thousands of dollars per year and seems mean to have to do extra work afterschool while others are out playing just because she is gifted. We could move her to another school, but it is the same system so she would still be advanced in another school even if there level of education was a bit better than where she is now and we would still be faced with the IPP or skipping a grade. We do not have any programs here that are for gifted children. As I said, we have done our research and though long and hard about this. We feel this is the best decision for our daughter. To each his own.

Thank you for the idea about getting together with kids over the summer. Sadly I don't know any of the parents of the kids from the older grade. I seem to only know parents of her current grade and younger grades. This is my youngest daughter, but most of the kids in her grade are actually the oldest sibling so they have younger kids that I also know. But I certainly will do my best. We have encouraged her to try hanging out with the kids from grade 4 in her class. She is having a difficult time with this as her friends in grade 3 are saying that she isn't being a good friend by playing with other kids. I have told her to tell them that her mom thinks it is a good idea to be friends with everyone.

Sounds like you've done lots of research! May I ask, is she in a public, separate or private school? I know some private schools have different cut-offs for age/grades, we've had friends switch to private or try an alternate School Board as they felt that's where their child was better suited with the age range or options offered. Our school board tests all kids in Grade 3, then starts a specialized gifted program in Grade 4, but the boards all surrounding us do tests in Grade 4 with gifted programs beginning in Grade 5. Tons of differences

If you do decide to jump her up, I'd try and see if she can get together with the kids she knew from her previous split over the summer. That will give her an edge in the friend department, and maybe you can make some back-to-school shopping trips together...

 

[Debbie]

You have done your research, and you are correct. You do the research, weigh all of the options and make the decision that is seems best for your daughter at this time.

It would be nice if she were to spend time with one friend from the split that she will have in the class next year. Perhaps the teacher could help with that.

My daughter is a March baby and she accelerated JK/SK in one year. There were several reasons for my making that decision, and I have never regretted it. She still has her best Kindergarten friend, and she just finished her second year of university. She is excited, because her BFF is moving to the same city as her soon.

I found that the great age divide came for ME, not her. First when her friends all got their driver's license. My DD still doesn't have it-no desire- but it was weird when they would come and pick her up/drop her off.

The second was last year. She had a few girls over when DH and I were in Disney. I saw pics and said, "Who bought the coolers for you girls?" She laughed and reminded me that (almost) all her friends were already 19.

It is very rare that the school system will accelerate or skip a child nowadays. There is research that says it is best that students stay with their age/peers. (That's a reason we don't retain them very often, either.) That all said, there are exceptions, and, as parents we do the best that we can at any one moment. Good luck to your daughter as she sets off on the new adventure.

 

[Freesia123]

As a teacher, the only reason we don't suggest skipping grades more often is because of the social aspect. If the school is recommending it, it's be she's she will be a good fit with the older kids. If she's already in a split I don't think she'll bat an eyelash socially.

 

[ChrisParker]

My dsd is turning 10 and loves Justice but to me the prices are a bit...

That said, there is an outlet at Birch Run in Michigan which is not too far and it was a lot cheaper (still a bit for my Dutch-brought-up-self but what can you do... ) I don't know if you're near a US outlet mall but it might be something to try!

 

[Cdn Gal]

I moved up ahead by one grade and I did fine socially. ( I was the class valedictorian!) The only problem I found a bit difficult was in university when I was younger than everybody else who could drink, but you always found ways around it . During my masters courses I was curious as to what the research said about students who moved ahead (since I had done this) and basically I found out that kids adapt and have few problems as long as they are monitored for social anxieties. Best of luck! Anyway, I now teach grade 6. The kids in my class wear Abercrombie, jeans, and t-shirts. All the best with your decision, I am sure that you will make the best one for your child!