How do you survive losing your spouse?

[lucyanna girl]

One year ago I was on top of the world. My husband and I had just attended the National Championship game with our children and our beloved LSU Tigers won.

In early March (just before it closed} he surprised me with a Disney World trip - just the two of us, no children or grandchildren. He just came in one day and told me to pack a bag, wouldn't tell me where we were going. He wasn't a huge Disney fan like I am but he went to the parks with me and rode the rides and laughed with me.

We came home and the lockdown started. He always held my hand in the car when it was just the two of us. He promised me we would be alright.

Our youngest daughter and her husband announced they were expecting their first baby after five years of marriage. He was so excited.

On September 26, after two weeks in the hospital with Covid, he died. We were married 36 years.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends. I know how lucky I am to have them.

So why does it seem as if the hurt just grows every day? I feel as if I am suffocating, like I just can't breathe anymore. It hurts so bad not to have my other half. We were both sick at the same time, why did I have to live if he couldn't?

If you've been here please tell me what to do. How do I learn to go on?

 

[lifesavacation]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[LSUmiss]

I have never been there, but I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry. I cannot imagine.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Sending you hugs, prayers, peace and grace.

 

[DisneyOma]

Speak to your primary care doctor, and ask for grief counseling. Call them Monday morning, as soon as the office opens. (((hugs)))

 

[Pixie Dusted Snow]

I'm sorry for your loss.
I have not lost a spouse but a number of other loved ones.
It does take time and I'd say more than just a few months...
And even after a lot of time has passed the hurt is not just going to go away.
My advice would be... continue to spend time with your family, develop new routines, and if you feel like the grief is not getting any easier to deal with seek out counseling.

 

[prairie_girl]

I'm so sorry for your loss.


I came close to losing my husband two years ago. I don't know how I would have pulled through.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Ohhh I’m so very sorry for the devastating loss of your husband. I cannot even imagine the pain and grief. Consider reaching out to seek some guidance. Dont suffer alone thru this. There are groups, clergy, friends family that can help you navigate this tremendous loss. Sending you prayers, strength, virtual hugs.
I’m glad you posted... we are here. tho we may not be able to feel your pain, sharing it can perhaps allow you to have an outlet and know Others are hearing your pain.
Im so sorry!

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had an answer for you. One of my sisters is in the same situation you are. She's not coping very well either. Have you tried to find a support group, with people who have gone or are going through the same thing? One would think there would be several online groups now.

 

[abdmom]

I have been there. I was widowed at age 42. I know there are other widows on here too. It becomes bearable, but not for a long while. You are still in the early stages. You are probably just coming out of the shock of it all. It helped me plan to do the things that I'd always wanted to do.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I cannot give you any experience. since I haven't been in your position. I can only imagine how destroyed I would feel if I lost my wife.

But, maybe I can offer some advice?

First of all, if you haven't already, please get in contact with a therapist. Just to talk through everything you are feeling.

Then find a local grief recovery support group or look into grief support services offered by your local hospital. With COVID, of course, support groups aren't meeting in person, but maybe they are meeting virtually?

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Penny, I am so sorry to read this. 's As said above, grief counseling can be very helpful, over time. As you said and you know, Penny, family is so very important. You have that. Friends are so important, short term, long term. You have that.

You have so many years of memories that will be with you a lifetime and beyond. That bench, Papaw's bench, will give you and family, and Sarah's new little boy, much comfort in the years ahead.

Please accept my condolences, Penny, and please do pass them on to Sarah and her family. My best for you all, God speed for Papaw. 's

 

[neverlandsky]

So very sorry for your loss. Although your husband is gone way too soon, your husband will always be in your life by treasuring all those wonderful memories, his legacy, and intimate moments together. Give yourself some grace.

 

[low-key]

Im so sorry

 

[fly girl]

I am very sorry for your loss.

Coming on here, expressing your feelings is a good thing. It is important to get it out. Like others have said, talking to someone or going to group meetings is important. Having someone who understands what you are going through can be a tremendous help.

It is ok if some days your only accomplishment is taking a shower. You are allowed that. But try to keep active. Your husband would want you to keep living.

You're in my thoughts. I wish you peace.

 

[Disneylover99]

I’m so very sorry. I can’t begin to know your pain.
It sounds like he was a wonderful husband.

Reach out to family and friends. They love you. Let them know how you really feel. Maybe you’ve been trying to be brave for them. But you need to lean on them a bit.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I am so sorry for your loss. There is no shortcut when it comes to grieving, finding peace and acceptance. It’s especially difficult during our current circumstances. Sending heartfelt prayers for comfort and strength.

 

[GoingSince1990]

One year ago I was on top of the world. My husband and I had just attended the National Championship game with our children and our beloved LSU Tigers won.

In early March (just before it closed} he surprised me with a Disney World trip - just the two of us, no children or grandchildren. He just came in one day and told me to pack a bag, wouldn't tell me where we were going. He wasn't a huge Disney fan like I am but he went to the parks with me and rode the rides and laughed with me.

We came home and the lockdown started. He always held my hand in the car when it was just the two of us. He promised me we would be alright.

Our youngest daughter and her husband announced they were expecting their first baby after five years of marriage. He was so excited.

On September 26, after two weeks in the hospital with Covid, he died. We were married 36 years.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends. I know how lucky I am to have them.

So why does it seem as if the hurt just grows every day? I feel as if I am suffocating, like I just can't breathe anymore. It hurts so bad not to have my other half. We were both sick at the same time, why did I have to live if he couldn't?

If you've been here please tell me what to do. How do I learn to go on?

So, so sorry. Covid is so horrible and cruel. Treasure those happy memories, be comforted by family and friends, and over time the pain will lessen.

 

[lucyanna girl]

I'm sorry to lay my troubles on you. Blame it on lack of sleep and being lonely. There's some really good advice here. Thank you all.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I am so sorry to hear!