How do you share your points with friends/family?

[Dean]

I guess I left out a main part. When the $350- ck was sent to me, I paid for part of my yearly plan. My friend is basically over exaggerating she will be sleeping in a homeless shelter if I do not refund her her money. I am not "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was feeling that all that mattered was her money and not the fact my loss of money. They have a time share and know the implications. I was taken back by her urgency with the money when they are in a better financial situation than us. I am not saying I am right or wrong. We all had to be on the dining plan so having the friends that came pay for a dinner was not in the cards. We did purchase groceries and I personally would have paid for all of them if invited to stay for $350-. That was not the case....they did not offer. I have to realize everyone is not like me I guess. Thank you all for helping me see things in a different way.

I think a lot of people (the one's planning the Disney trip) make assumptions that often lead to issues. They assume others know what they're getting into, that others will treat them fairly, that people will be on their best behavior for such a trip, that people will remember verbal warnings/agreements, etc. We don't know your interactions or your friend's personality/approach but if this is par for the course, one could/should have known this was a risk up front. Owning a timeshare likely doesn't help with understanding, esp if it's a full week timeshare, it actually might make it worse.

Planning such trips are risky and problematic. That's why we plan the trip and pay for the rooms (generally with our timeshares) and then invite people to come up to the occupancy we're comfortable with. We had 40 in Nashville Dec, 2011 and 36 in Gatlinburg a couple of years before. We have very few rules but there are a few.

• You don't wait on me or vice versa
• If you generate a charge (phone bill, room charges) take care of it.
• There will be an occasional adult beverage but no one will be out of control at all.
• We have a family meal together either dine out or pot luck, I get to choose.
• If you don't like the rules, simply don't go.
• If you violate the rules, I won't invite you in the future.

I go to great lengths to avoid subliminal messages or to put anyone in an uncomfortable position. I make EVERY effort not to control other people's vacation. The family comes from all types of backgrounds so I try to reduce the trip down to the bare minimums. That way no one has to miss the trip because the events and costs pass them by but those who want to do more have the opportunity. You could literally come and hang out at the pool or beach and eat in every meal if you wanted save possibly the one family meal. For most it's potentially cheaper than staying home on vacation. We do this as a way to give back to the family and to get everyone together. We love that we can do this and we have precious little drama. While thanks are not expected, everyone seems appreciative.

 

[mousefan1972]

The operation had to happen and you sent the check in spite of the fact that you had mentioned that they could lose money. I do not understand why, if she is such a good friend, you have to remind her of your loss.

I have to agree with Bobbi.

We invited good friends to stay at BLT with us this coming August. We would never accept any money from them since we invited them. It was not as though they were going to Disney anyway and we said, "Hey, stay with us in a 2 BR!" We were planning a trip and asked them to join us. I would not dream of "charging" our friends anything, when we invited them!

 

[peabody58]

DW and I bought into DVC to enhance our vacation experience, not to subsidize other's vacation. We have however had three trips where we invited family along - DB/SIL; DD/SIL; BIL/SIL. We make our guests sleep on the fold out, we get the Master BR. No we don't ask for any $$, especially since they are sleeping on the sofa! An occasional meal paid for has been a pleasant surprise. Next two trips are just DW and myself, and we are looking forward to the hassle and drama free experience.

 

[DisneyStarWisher]

We have small contracts, so not alot of points to play with. When we bought, we never planned to invite friends and family. The plan though was to add on for our future grandkids. My DS will be getting a job this summer and entering college next year, so it's much harder to plan 11 months out. Realizing this, we have decided to take shorter trips closer to home around his schedule, so we had several points that we didn't need. I decided to rent those points to friends and family because it was easier and perhaps less risky than renting to someone I don't know. I ended up renting them for $11/point to two separate families, one a friend and the other my niece. We signed a contract which made it clear the money is nonrefundable. Our reasoning for asking for money is to pay our MFs and also because we need it to pay for a few shorter, closer to home trips. If we were going to Disney and invited them to join us, we would not ask for any money.

 

[AnnaS]

Renting to family and friends is great - trust, etc. as long as they take their vacation. When ones has to cancel and they are out of their money (even though they know well ahead of time), their attitude and whole relationship might change.

It is a great idea for anyone renting and saving money - but if one rents through Disney (and i have not done this in 12 years) and one cancels within a reasonable time - do they get a refund? or how much $$ have they paid up front (one night?) that they risk of not getting back? Just curious.

 

[TK Brown]

We have invited my parents before and wouldnt let them pay. My dad tried to pay me when we got there and I told him that we had it all taken care of.

We just invited my BIL and his family and told them the same thing, the room is on us but tickets and other stuff is on them.

If I do the inviting, I dont expect anything in return. I get additional joy in going with others!

 

[com_op_2000]

Went on a family DCL and paid for the whole trip using our DVC points. Have another DCL in the planning stages for new DGC.
Booked Thanksgiving in a OKW 1-Bdrm, had all family members over for dinner (12 total).
Booked SSR three studios, for each family to have there own room this past year. Placed "Travel with" notation on all the reservations, did online check-in for two of us, and since DW and I arrived first we were able to check-in all three rooms at one time. Great job done by the scheduler, got us all in one building and on one floor.
Booked a studio at VWL, when we tried to check-in, we had been upgraded to a WL 2 bedroom lake view suite. Called some family members to come and join us for an unexpected vacation.
Multiple trips have taken DMnL for a night at different resorts.
DD High School graduation in an OKW GV. Had ten people on that trip, we were able to work the free WDW passes (pre-2000), and our family member who is a CM to get everyone in free to the parks for a day.
Took DGC (<1) on his first WDW trip at Christmas to BCV and multiple other trips since then.

 

[intertile]

I guess I left out a main part. When the $350- ck was sent to me, I paid for part of my yearly plan. My friend is basically over exaggerating she will be sleeping in a homeless shelter if I do not refund her her money. I am not "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was feeling that all that mattered was her money and not the fact my loss of money. They have a time share and know the implications. I was taken back by her urgency with the money when they are in a better financial situation than us. I am not saying I am right or wrong. We all had to be on the dining plan so having the friends that came pay for a dinner was not in the cards. We did purchase groceries and I personally would have paid for all of them if invited to stay for $350-. That was not the case....they did not offer. I have to realize everyone is not like me I guess. Thank you all for helping me see things in a different way.

Wow...sounds so familiar. Won't go into specifics, but we own at dvc and in Aruba. We've taken lots of family and friends with us the last 7 years. Stuff like this used to eat me up. About 4 years ago I just came to realize that I have a different view of things than other people...doesn't matter who is right, it just is what it is. So now, if I am going to invite someone with us on a trip I just automatically offer the accomadations and don't expect anything more than a thank you. I find that this way I just enjoy myself more, and am never disappointed. If I'm not able to do this for whatever the reason, I'd just rather not invite them.

 

[DVC-Don]

I've never charged friends or family that stay with us.

 

[bumbershoot]

When the $350- ck was sent to me, I paid for part of my yearly plan. .... and not the fact my loss of money.

But the maintenance fees would need to be paid anyway. What if they hadn't said yes to the trip? You still would have needed to pay the fees for those points. That's how I look at it with our points, at least.

While logged in check out the DVC forums, you should be able to see the rent/trade board. http://www.disboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=29. Be sure to read the stickies at the top of the board.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards App, please excuse any typos or autocorrects!

But the rental forum will require the OP to have used the board much more before offering the rental, from my understanding of the rules.

 

[DannysMom]

But the rental forum will require the OP to have used the board much more before offering the rental, from my understanding of the rules.

From reading the stickies, it appears that people who don't meet the posting criteria to offer a rental, may pay for a membership that will allow them to post.

If someone does not contribute by participating, they may contribute financially to post their points for rent,

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards App, please excuse any typos or autocorrects!

 

[chrisegirl]

This was my thought too. What are you hoping to gain by reminding her that you are out 88 points? You obviously value her friendship - do want her to validate your feelings? Apologize? Give you back the check? I could understand needing validation if she backed out because they just decided they didn't want to go but they had to cancel because of a SURGERY. Which they had been waiting for. I'm thinking she probably has a lot more on her mind than the 88 points. Also, even if she hasn't expressed it because she has a lot on her mind, don't you think she and her family are terribly disappointed that they don't get to go on the vacation? Isn't reminding her of your lost points kind of like rubbing salt in a wound? I know I sound judgmental and I guess I am, but it sounds to me like you are not being a good friend. Figure out how to rent the points, recoup your loss, and figure out how to move on. Then figure out how YOU can be a good supportive friend during your friend's time of need.

I did leave out a lot of detail. I am a great friend and have been supportive. Your message was harsh, but knowing you do not know the entire situation I get it.

 

[chrisegirl]

I normally rent my extra points for anywhere from $11-$13 a point. For family/friends I rent them at $10/point, I also make them sign the same contract as I do for any other renter. Then there is no confusion about the terms and conditions about the rental.

Points = Money and since I wouldn't give away hundreds/thousands of dollars to my family/friends, I also don't give away points.

One of my friends just recently wanted to rent some points from me again and I said that was fine, but since I would have to borrow points to make the reservation for her, there would be a no cancellation and no money back clause in the rental. She wasn't positive she could actually go, so she decided to book with Disney instead so she could cancel if need be. She totally understood were I was coming from and she's still hoping to rent points next time.

Thanks Doug! I think we are the only ones who see this. I would never charge anyone the full amount. I just suggested that they each pay $350- which covers their 6 day stay. It goes towards my yearly fee. I thought this was more than fair. We had the dining plan, so there is no treating us to dinner. Once dining and park passes are paid...not much to buy. We purchased groceries and split them. I personally would have paid for the groceries, but not everyone is me. You live and learn. Some people are generous and some are not. If I invited family I would never ask for a cent. These families asked so I thought again, $350- was fair.

 

[spiceycat]

don't charge family - and friends only if they ask to go.

done WDW for years free to family - just send my nephew on his honeymoon to Hawaii for free as well.

that say now retired and money is short - so unless my family agrees to only go once every 3 years - not sure what I am going to do.

it was my brother and his family (4 people) - now the kids are adults and live separately. (3 families - with separate vacation time)

 

[a742246]

Thanks Doug! I think we are the only ones who see this. I would never charge anyone the full amount. I just suggested that they each pay $350- which covers their 6 day stay. It goes towards my yearly fee. I thought this was more than fair. We had the dining plan, so there is no treating us to dinner. Once dining and park passes are paid...not much to buy. We purchased groceries and split them. I personally would have paid for the groceries, but not everyone is me. You live and learn. Some people are generous and some are not. If I invited family I would never ask for a cent. These families asked so I thought again, $350- was fair.

You didn't do anything wrong. If someone offered me a stay in Disney, I would definately want to share the expenses and if I had to cancel I wouldn't expect to get reimbused by you (if you lost any money) from it.

Hopefully you rent those points and make a little profit from it. Good luck....

 

[Tink-n-Belle]

I've done it both ways. I gifted pts to a friend who went on her own w/her family and I just rented to nephew who is also going on his own.

My nephew called and asked me to help plan his vacation. He said he wanted to stay at AKL so I told him to price it out and if he wanted he could rent the points needed from me. It would have been $2800 thru Disney and it was $990 to rent my points @ $10 per pt. Needless to say he is super thrilled as he realized that he is getting a great deal. He didn't ask for a free vacation, but I'm glad I was able to save him $1800. I told him upfront that it was not refundable.

My friend on the other hand didn't even call to thank me until 10 days after she returned. Some people just don't get it. the points I gave her cost me both money and lost points and all I wanted was a thank you.

You friends should have honored the deal regardles since you Offered your points to them because they asked to go. I think you are very generous to share your points with your friends. You could have all gone to Disney and had them pay for their own accomadations and you could have banked the points and used them in the future. By sharing you gave up a future vacation, 88 pts is a lot....thats a full week in a studio. I can see why you are so upset.

I hope you can rent the points, but if you can't can you get the 3 bedroom again or stay longer?

Have a great trip.

 

[kirstenb1]

We've owned at OKW since 1993. We've invited family many times over the years. We don't charge anything. I view it like a second home. If we were blessed enough to have a beach house, we'd invite people without charge.

OP hopefully you can bank or rent the points --best of luck to you.

 

[Chuck S]

For group trips where I am a participant, I never charge people that I invite along. Usually they will pay some of my meals or buy groceries, but we never do the Dining Plans.

Now, when I have extra points, I have booked for friends that go by themselves and they have voluntarily reciprocated in different ways, I never asked for anything. For instance, my dentist's daughter and her family have been twice on my points in a 2 bedroom. And in return, I've gotten some free dental work. But I've never charged any set amount at all.

 

[fmer55]

Points = money and I have yet to find that my family and friends realize that it costs me money to "share " with them. As a result I do not ask anyone to join me unless I plan on paying for it all. Not worth the hassle of those who do not get that they cost me money and not worth losing a friendship or family relationship over. My vacations are my buisness and if people want to go to Disney on the cheap they can stay at the all stars or become a DVC member.

It also costs money to live in your house, do you charge a cover when you have a party?

 

[fmer55]

Thanks Doug! I think we are the only ones who see this. I would never charge anyone the full amount. I just suggested that they each pay $350- which covers their 6 day stay. It goes towards my yearly fee. I thought this was more than fair. We had the dining plan, so there is no treating us to dinner. Once dining and park passes are paid...not much to buy. We purchased groceries and split them. I personally would have paid for the groceries, but not everyone is me. You live and learn. Some people are generous and some are not. If I invited family I would never ask for a cent. These families asked so I thought again, $350- was fair.

I see the point, it is just not how I look at my points. When I initially started accumulating points I was also looking at Ski houses. My family decided they would rather have WDW as their primary second home. This is exactly how I look at my points, they are my vacation home. The MF's that I pay are the same fees and upkeep I would have to pay if I had a ski house. This is all my personal preference and don't judge anybody for the way they use their points.