How do you respond to rude invitations?

[kwitcherkicken99]

I wish I was. People here think i'm trolling or making things up. I couldn't even imagine saying my kid is boring when he is only 4. They are so neglectful to him. SIL is just obsessed with babies but doesn't think about supporting them. She wants a ton and her mother completly supports it.

Ok, you are tormented by their existance... we get it. If they are such a source of pain, torture , and torment, call CPS for their neglect and cut them out of your life. Problem solved!

Frnkly you should stop spending so much energy on them. You are making yourself, and potentially others, miserable. They are not worth wallowing in the negativity.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I know. I need to calm down. They just REALLLY rub me the wrong way. I know in the end their family choices are theirs it just sucks that my tax dollars have to go to them.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I have a family member who is the same way. We work hard for everything we have... there are just some people in this world who are born with their hand out. You have to choose whether worrying about them is worth it to you any more.

Sure, my family bugs the crap out of me (and DH ¡ AND I hear about it... a lot...) but I chose a few years ago to realize that I was spendibg too much energy on them and I was miserable. I don't worry about them anymore and I can use that energy to pour it into my kids. Life is much better.

 

[FireDancer]

I also wanted to ask of those that think second children showers are tacky ~ do you think they are ALWAYS tacky? Or are there exceptions.

Very few things are always anything and it depends on the circumstances. The one in my first post on this was an example. I don't really consider them tacky but they just aren't done around here. I am just basing this on what my friends do and being a guy I don't have to go to them. I still bring a gift to the hospital or home for every child my friends or family have though.

This is one of those regional things like black tie weddings and gift giving. Someone in NYC and someone in the Ozark mountains in Arkansas are going to have different opinions because things are just done differently in those two places. Neither is better or worse or more right or more wrong, they are just different.

 

[Miniefan]

I know. I need to calm down. They just REALLLY rub me the wrong way. I know in the end their family choices are theirs it just sucks that my tax dollars have to go to them.

OP, I get it I guess. Don't agree but I guess I get it. You don't like them, its obvious. You really need to just let it go. It is something that you have absolutely no control over and is of really no consequence to you, so you really just need to find a way to let go.

When you stop worrying about these unconsequential things, you will probably end up being a happier person. JMHO. The bottom line here is this- you are putting too too much thought into this, and the other thing about them having a girl- I promise you this- they aren't hemming and hawing over this invite like you are.

 

[Miniefan]

I have a family member who is the same way. We work hard for everything we have... there are just some people in this world who are born with their hand out. You have to choose whether worrying about them is worth it to you any more.

Sure, my family bugs the crap out of me (and DH ¡ AND I hear about it... a lot...) but I chose a few years ago to realize that I was spendibg too much energy on them and I was miserable. I don't worry about them anymore and I can use that energy to pour it into my kids. Life is much better.

Exactly!! I promise you they aren't sitting around worrying about whatever choices youre making.

 

[rie'smom]

OP, is this the same SIL you were upset with b/c they were having a baby girl & that would take attention from your "princess"? Is that the source of your feelings about the invite, that you really seem to dislike your in-laws?

I thought I'd have to play detective until the poster below was kind enough to point the way!

If you go to the op profile, and click on "find other posts by this poster", that thread is on page 7.

Thanks for the instructions!

WOW!
They don't have money for vacation. The pump was rolled over after she left it outside bringing groceries in. She also left a McClaren double stroller outside over the winter and then asked " what happened? It's ruined!" People give her TONS of really nice things and she ruins them and then expects replacements. She doesn't know what is valuable and what is trash.

No one in our family knows about our cruise because they will just judge us again and say "must be nice".

The book wasn't more usefully but it's a way for DD to connect to the person. A card doesn't do that. She will always remember that her cousin gave her Corduroy.

As for the pissed she is having a girl thing. I'm over it especially because during Christmas the other female cousins all said no one really cares I'm just happy that others see that they are just welfare collectors. I'm sorry but you shouldn't have kids once you're bored with the one before and especially if you can't afford them.

Yikes! You are going to have one miserable life if you don't learn to let all of this go. It isn't your business if they don't have 2 pennies to rub together. If you can't stand these people how do you know so much about their lives? From what I read, she is your SIL's sister. Good lord, even if she was your SIL, you are way too concerned about how these other people live their lives.

 

[rainy~daze]

WOW!
They don't have money for vacation. The pump was rolled over after she left it outside bringing groceries in. She also left a McClaren double stroller outside over the winter and then asked " what happened? It's ruined!" People give her TONS of really nice things and she ruins them and then expects replacements. She doesn't know what is valuable and what is trash.

No one in our family knows about our cruise because they will just judge us again and say "must be nice".The book wasn't more usefully but it's a way for DD to connect to the person. A card doesn't do that. She will always remember that her cousin gave her Corduroy.

As for the pissed she is having a girl thing. I'm over it especially because during Christmas the other female cousins all said no one really cares I'm just happy that others see that they are just welfare collectors. I'm sorry but you shouldn't have kids once you're bored with the one before and especially if you can't afford them.

it sucks when family judges you

 

[krcit]

it sucks when family judges you

 

[graciejane]

OP...I will agree that it stinks when you feel that your tax dollars are supporting something you disapprove of, but seriously....that WILL happen with about a zillion different things. So my advice (and this is from close personal experience) is just don't worry about. It does not help you or the situation if you have your knickers in bunch about it. Plus, it makes family gatherings strained. And if you aren't going to be able to attend, why are you so upset about it

 

[momrek06]

So SIL's sister send this event invite over Facebook. And I quote:

Come enjoy brunch & relaxation to celebrate the arrival of our newest family member!!!! The new baby girl has plenty of clothes sizes 0-12 months, so if you could bring just a pack of diapers that would be such a blessing to them!.....She also has a small wishlist at Target
Ok A second showers are tacky in my eyes even if it's for a child of a different sex. Second where do they get off telling people what to bring? Obviously every parent loves getting diapers but if they are considered a "blessing" maybe you shouldn't be having a second kid. I checked out her Target list and was surprised to see breast pump. Someone bought her a breast pump last pregnancy and you know what happened to it? She forgot that she placed it on the ground outside and her husband backed up the truck over it. It was a hands free Medal pump--not cheap.
It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

OP, You seem to have allot anger towards your SIL?
If I were you, I would just buy her a package of diapers as suggested. And that's that.

 

[horseshowmom]

I thought I'd have to play detective until the poster below was kind enough to point the way!

After reading just a little of that thread, all I can say is wow, just wow...

My daughter was born the end of July. My brother's daughter was born on Halloween. Somehow it never crossed my mind to consider that a problem. Of course, it also never crossed my mind that the family should consider my daughter to be a princess either.

I'm pretty much speechless.

OP, no disrespect intended, but while I'm normally not in favor of second showers, I would have to say that the invitation you received wasn't any worse than the attitude you voiced toward your child being "replaced" as the reigning princess.

 

[DisneyScraps]

If the Mom didn't send out the invitation then it's not rude. she can't help what well meaning friends and family say. I would go with a nice big pack of diapers. I love babies and a pack of diapers is worth getting to hold one.

I have been to second showers, they call it a drizzle and it's usually for just diapers.

Lisa

 

[disneyjunkie]

I feel sorry for the OP's husband and daughter.

 

[Teacher03]

it sucks when family judges you

 

[Mermaid02]

If you dont' want to go- don't. I certainly wouldn't want anyone at my "party" who felt the way you do.

 

[SaraJayne]

it sucks when family judges you

I'm sure the irony went right over her head. Kind of like it's tacky and rude for others to "demand" certain gifts, but nothing wrong with it when she does it.

 

[BCV513]

I can't wait until the OP's daughter is old enough to use the computer and we get to hear all about how much she hates her mother.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Doesn't anybody wonder why she was using a breast pump outside?

LOL

 

[FlightlessDuck]

We didn't have a shower for either child, though our church held a shower for us for our second child.

This seems like such a minor thing the grand scheme of things. Sure, "Miss Maners" might say it is rude to indicate what to bring to a shower, but it is much more efficient and economic that way.