How do you make the decision to move far from home?

[Denine]

We live in Ohio and have our entire lives. However, we really want to move to Florida for a number of reasons. How do you make that decision to leave your family and friends and job to move 1,000 miles away?

 

[monkeyboy]

Just think of all the people that moved to the US from far off places even before phones or email.
Most did not know English

 

[kimber79]

I can't............that's why I am still stuck here in Michigan!! I have not found a way to convince my family to move with me!

 

[Denine]

Originally posted by monkeyboy
Just think of all the people that moved to the US from far off places even before phones or email.
Most did not know English

I actually have thought about that and it doesn't make it any easier.

 

[kamgen]

You realize that it is your life and it will only be what you make it! Tim and I look at our upcoming move as an adventure...we are leaving all our friends and family, but we will make new friends and meet new people and experience new things.....

You have to do what feels right for you......life is short, enjoy it, make each day wonderful and don't be afraid to take a chance......

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I love my family and friends but I am not happy here in MO. I want sun, sand, and fun. It is VERY BORING here, not much to do or we already do it over and over. I want my quality of life to improve. I am sick of winter. I want to try it. If I don't like it I can return.

I have been with my family for along time and they understand. BUT the downside is DH has to move within his company and we have tried to get to FL 2x's now. Didn't work out...yet...

 

[wendyl]

My Dad was in the Army, so every couple of years, we would move far away from where we just were, and from family. It is absolutely what you make it. I have no regrets, and lived a great life.

Have you ever met a great friend and thought, "I wish I had never met her/him?" --of course not (unless you got into a fight or something). Everytime it was time to move, I would cry at having to leave my old friends, but I knew there would be other great friends waiting for me in the new place -- AND THERE ALWAYS WERE!!! If I had never moved, I never would have met them.

You will miss your family--there's no way around that--but with email, phones, cells, trips to visit, etc... you will always be in touch. I say: See new places, Live new places, Experience New Things--You never know--you may find that you love the new place even more than the one you left.

 

[two4ruff]

I understand completely.

I grew up in a military family where we moved every couple years - I'm not really sure where to tell people I grew up! Now my husband is also in the military but we have been extremely lucky to have been stationed at the same base for 16 years, our kids have been in same house all their lives, our parents are nearby, and we really feel at "home".

(Now my husband is being deployed for one year and the military has reassigned him to another base upon his return. I'm feeling very selfish and not wanting to uproot my kids and move, especially after being without daddy for a year... )

In your situation though, you want to make the move. A positive outlook will go far and look at is as an adventure with new places, people and opportunities. And I bet many friends and family would love to visit you in Florida!!

 

[Sonya]

We can't figure out how to do this either. My parents can't move and as DH is the man of his family he doesn't feel he can move either.

 

[Cocamami]

I live in NJ, and we are considering a move to central Florida. Both of our families are here, and we've never been apart from them. We are very close with our families, and while excited at the prospect of relocating to such a beautiful place and starting a new life, we are also a bit apprehensive at the thought of the great distance we'd be from our support net and loved ones.

On the other hand, it something we've considered for a while and we're both comfortable with it. We have our families' full support and our kids love the idea. That makes it a little easier.

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

Don't think and don't analyze JUST DO IT! Because thinking and analyzing just might make you stay put! Get out of your comfort zone and experience life!

We are gonna do this as soon as DD gets in college, uh she's a senior next year. Bigger and better things are awaiting us out there!

 

[Lachesis00]

My family drives me crazy (I am serious) which is the #1 reason. #2 is because DH can't find work in the IT field here. Sooo we're moving

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Its hard and so far I havent been able to do it. I live with my boyfriend and have for the last 2.5 years but I know that eventually I will want/need to move out west where I feel I really at home. When that time comes he & I have already agreed, I will be going alone and our relationship as it is will be over. We'll probably stay in touch and I'm sure I'd find someone and new friends etc. where I move to, but right now, I'm quite content with my life here in MA. I just hate the cold and I'm not a big fan of the cost of living in MA. It's a hard choice.

 

[ckmommy]

My Dh And I made the decsion to move from WI--the only place we had ever lived to TX--where we knew no one. I truely believe that it is a very personal choice. I had many sad nights thinking about what it was going to be like moving away from my mom and dad. But, some of the reasons for us to move were:

Better job postion--the main reason
nicer homes at a better price
moving away from family--good and bad reasons
better weather
more family (Dh,ds,dd) time
we were ready for a change

Since moving down here, DH's and my marriage is much stronger. We do not have anywhere to run to when we get into an arguement (ie parents homes, friends...), so we have to resolve to issue right away. The worst thing for us is not being near family for holidays, special event or just to help them out or vice versa. We do not regret the choice to move down here, and now I do not think that I could move back to WI.

Good luck in what ever you choose to do!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Originally posted by Denine
How do you make that decision to leave your family and friends and job to move 1,000 miles away?

I joined the military. Moved from TX (where parents are) to CO to the Philippines to ID to FL to NE to LA (where we are now). Probable move to AZ this year. DH's family is in MO and GA. We met in Idaho when we were both stationed there.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with the above poster who said don't overanalyze your decision making process - if this is what you and your spouse want to do, then find a way to make it happen. Get out of your comfort zone - you'll be so proud of yourself for doing so!

My husband and I did this 19 years ago when we moved to Colorado. Packed a car full of belongings and drove out. We cried on and off all throughout the trip. But, long term, it was the best thing we ever did for our marriage and our immediate family when we later had children. It really bonded us together.

You've still got phones, e-mails, letters, and ways to go see the family you leave behind (and for them to come visit you; don't let it become a one-way trip only, but that's another thread!). The "adventure" you create can be the start of a wonderful part of your life!

Good luck!!

 

[kadaten]

Well, the choice was between staying at home where I'd always lived, or marrying my DH and start moving! He's military....first 5 years in we moved 4 times. The first one....no, the first 2 were hard....but after that it's second nature. And after about the first 18 months in a house, I start getting fidgety....need a new house to decorate. I don't really love moving...I've just gotten used to it. I think I made the right decision....DH is definitely a keeper

 

[TinkHappy]

I moved from California to Connecticut (3000 miles away). For me the decision was easy...I was in love (my now husband is from CT) 13 years later, it is still the BEST decision I have ever made (for myself as well as my family)

I believe that whatever you feel in your heart of hearts (not your head) is the right decision. If this is something you really want (but are just afraid of change)...I say go-for-it!!

 

[Denine]

I knew I'd get some great advice on here!

One of the problems in moving to FL is finding a job for DH. He has looked and will continue to look, but so far no luck.

Neither of our parents is in great health. We have that guilty feeling of "what if" and we wouldn't be here to help.

I didn't have any grandparents growing up and DD has 2 sets. Do I really want to take her away from something I didn't have?

Everytime we go to FL, I just love it there We have house hunted a number of times and I know where I'd like to live.

Right now, we are considering building a new house in the area. It will probably be a few years till we can get to FL.

 

[legs22]

I've seen a quite a few people move here from other states, stay a few years, then have kids, then move right back to be with their families. You could try it and if you don't like it- move back.

I've always loved the west coast of the U.S but I decided long ago I did not want to be so far from my family and rarely see them. I'm in the process now of trying to move back home where my family is (and it's only 2 hrs. away from where I am now).