How do you make kids' gift "equal"?

[Mom2Ben02]

I tend to spend AROUND the same amount on each kid, but I always make sure each kid has the same number of gifts. I know that will change as they get older. How do you do it in your house - same dollar or same number?

 

[GottaLuvMickey]

Well, we only have one kid right now, and she's a spoiled rotten 3 year old, so we don't have this issue. But I do know that with my sister and I my mom tried to keep it within $50 of each other and that we had the same amount of gifts. We sat and alternated opening 1 gift at a time, so it was more important to her that we have the same number of gifts.

As for now, my in-laws do a HUGE Christmas for my family of 3, plus SIL, her DH, and their two daughters who are 7 & 8. They probably get each of us about 20 or so gifts. We usually all have the same amount of gifts, maybe one more or one less, but right about the same. And from what SIL & I have discussed, it seems to us that they spend about the same on all of us too... DH, SIL, SIL's DH, & myself get less than the 3 girls, but obviously no one cares about that! They seem to even out the financial end of it with gift cards. They don't buy us clothes, but will wrap up a gift card in a shirt box with a post-it on it that says "Shirt" or "pants" but sometimes the dollar amount varies from person to person... so we think that is how they even out how much they spend on each of us.

 

[elainesj]

we do $ amount. but then....we only give the kids 1 (or several smaller) gifts per person. Pretty much treat it the same as a bday. but then again, we're not into the massive number of presents or spending lots at xmas time.

 

[shortbun]

My parents never kept stuff equal and we didn't mind. Some years it was your turn for a big gift and some years someone else got one. Whoever got the big gift, we all celebrated with them and enjoyed our gifts. I still remember the year I got my piano.

My MIL goes nuts making everything even. It's tedious, imho. She wastes a whole lot of time worrying about it and none of us-grown kids nor grandkids would give it a single minute of thought.

 

[goofyredraider]

I always try to, but this year it is impossible. My DD turns 10 in a few weeks, and she has outgrown "toys". She wants electronics (Nook Color, for example) or pricier Lego sets. So, she will have more spent on her than her brothers.


They will, however, have an equal # of presents.

 

[Andrea from PA]

I always believed in keeping it equal - $ and # of gifts. To the point I'd be wrapping socks or sweat pants for the oldest just to even it out. My oldest finally made me stop that. He did not see the point.

He slowed down his rate of opening gifts to 1 for 3 of his sister's gifts. He was sly about it. Took his time looking at a book he received, etc.

It still bothers me that the gifts aren't even #, but son was right. Just silly for me to hold onto things that any other time of year I'd just be slipping into his drawers. Or, worse, that I may go over budget buying junk that only holds his interest for a day.

Try not to sweat it.
some of my tricks so that the gift piles do not appear to heavy one side:
# of gifts can be distracted from with some non-helium balloons.
Buy Giant Stocking or gift bag for each kid and put all gifts in the stocking/bag.

 

[kayrosek]

I'm big on equal number of gifts. I like to alternate gifts and I want the children to all have the same number but as they have gotten older it has gotten trickier. Middle daughter is our techie and her tastes are pricey. When she gave me her list this year I asked if she'd mind if her other gifts were smaller and she altered her list to contain nail polish, lip gloss, etc (I diden't really mean that small ). Oldest DD however is going to be tricky on the other side of things. This year she wants mainly accessories and Selena Gomez Dream Out Loud clothes (which average $10-20 a piece) along with maybe some art supplies. She does want a flip style camcorder but it doesn't come close to the other kids big ticket items so her big item will be a box of Dream Out Loud clothes. Since we are keeping somewhere around 5 or 6 things per kid she'll also get a box of accessories so more things but in the same number of boxes. After last year I decided not to stress if the money didn't even out completely I'm just going to keep it pretty close (under $50 or so apart) if I can get some deals on things they really want that will be great and as long as they get some of the things they ask for they'll be happy.

 

[albertamommyof4]

i try to have equal# of gifts per kid, i have 4. I can;t do the money as i do buy a lot on clearance. what i do is i set a max dollar amount ( budget) for each kid and heck if i can get them cheaper on clearance or sale then i have money left over. The regular price may be the same but not what i pay for them.

 

[Skye23]

For the nieces and nephews (no kids of our own) we do an either or method. When they are young, and if they will see what another kid gets (sibling, cousin etc) then we go for same number of gifts, preferrably of the same type and around the same $. I.e. - 4 gifts each, 1 t-shirt, 1 book, 1 trinket type gift, 1 toy. When they get older and they're more aware of how $ things cost we go purely for relatively equal $ spent. One kid might get a video game, another kid might get a cd, a book and something else. If they're young but won't see what the others in the family will get we just try to keep the $ around the same.

 

[Jedana]

I don't. When the girls were both at home (now 22 and 18, and the 22 y.o. is in another state), I kept it close when they were little. When the 22 y.o. started wanting more expensive goodies, she got them, but fewer gifts. I didn't spend $150 on an Ipod, and then $150 in Barbies for the 18 y.o. That would be insane.

With the now 8 y.o., once he came along, he most certainly did not get $150 in baby toys. Last year, the 22 y.o. got $200 in gift cards (100 personal, 100 for her and her boyfriend)--gc are easier to ship and I have no idea what she needs/wants anymore. The 18 y.o. got $250 in cash, per her request. She wanted a shopping spree. The 8 y.o. got a drum set ($200) +toys and games and books.

This year, the 22 y.o. will again get gc; the 18 y.o. wants household stuff (dishes, silverware, etc) since she is moving out**; and the 8 y.o. has requested a tv/dvd player (and video game systems-which wont' be happening, we have those in the living room for a reason) and a bow/arrow or bb gun set. Oh, and Bayblades. Those are big here.

Again, not going to be even, but they've all been brought up with the "I love you but I am not going to stress myself out by making everything even all teh darn time" mom mentality. Buy one candy bar, buy one for everyone--ok. Buy one toy, buy one thing for everyone--no.

**She is doing a partial move out in mid-December to go nanny for a local Navy family--dad is going on manuevers; they have 2 little boys at home (8 and 3) and mom is delivering boy #3 within a month. He is back in June, and then the plan is for her to move to Colorado, nanny for my niece who is carrying her first (and probably only) little one (a girl!!!)--she's due Feb 28th--and get her CO residency--so she can attend CSU.

 

[peanut12392]

When they were young we did equal number of gifts. Now (they are 17 and 19) we do equal spending.

 

[VroomVroomLightning]

I don't have children but I buy regularly for my niece and nephew. Before the niece came along almost two years ago, I would buy for my nephew until my wallet told me no more. But now since there are two of them I have to limit myself. I limit them both to a dollar amount and go from there. I buy clearance throughout the year so their numbers add up slowly but they wind up with a lot. We give them their presents on Christmas morning after "Santa" comes and they open those up. So at this point the 5 year old isn't even thinking about who got the most and what not. And the cutest thing ever is to see him help his little sister open presents and get excited with her!

 

[Marionnette]

I always spent the same amount on each of the kids. In order to get the same number of packages under the tree, would do things like wrap two like items together to reduce the number of packages for one child or wrap smaller items like hair ribbons of nerf ammo that might have gone in a stocking to increase another child's pile.

 

[eliza61]

I tend to spend AROUND the same amount on each kid, but I always make sure each kid has the same number of gifts. I know that will change as they get older. How do you do it in your house - same dollar or same number?

but truthfully we've never felt the need to make every thing "equal". I have 2 boys and 1 girl (my neice).
When they were little, dolls and action figures made up the bulk of toys with an occasional outfit. some times an action figure would have a couple of boxes so it may have looked like 1 kid had a bit more.

We also try to get a lot of "family" gifts like board games, that anyone can open.

My kids are older so we don't get into equal any thing. for example my youngest is starting college so in 2012 so he needs a few more things than my older son will.
we have a family budget for gift giving and we stick to it.
Luckily my kids never really got into, if Josh got a gift, I get one too.

That may also have to do with the fact that now we travel for christmas, so they know if we have a trip to disney for xmas, that is the gift.

I suggest setting a budget and sticking to that.

 

[Swimalie]

I only have 1 child (and he's the only grandchild for my family) so I don't worry about equality there but I know my parents make it equal money with my sister and I. I know roughly how much it is and I keep my request(s) under that.

My mother in law likes to have equal presents. My son's cousins are 22 and 19 so they get a lot more spent on them. Of course, my son (6) has only seen that grandmother twice so he doesn't realize it's not equal.

 

[MinnieForMe]

This will be the first year my children do not get an equal number of gifts or an equal number of money spent. My oldest picked his Christmas present last night which was a $600 Fender Mim bass. Although, I will get him a few small gifts, his 6 year old sister will LOOK like she gets the most under the tree but I would NEVER spent $600 on toys for a 6 year old.

 

[NYEmomma]

My parents always did equal # of gifts for my brother & I when we were younger, but as we got older (teens) they started doing same $ amount... we didn't believe in Santa anymore and could understand that some of the things we ask for cost more.

 

[MrsPete]

I always try to make sure it's relatively equal both in number and in cost . . . but so many things throw that off. For example:

Last year I found lightweight North Face jackets on super-clearance at Dicks Sporting Goods, and I bought ALL I thought'd work for anyone in my family -- really, they were in the $15 range and nice styles!

One of my daughters really, really, really wants such a jacket this year, and -- if memory serves 'cause they're still up in the attic -- I didn't buy one in her size last spring. Since it's something she wants so much, I will buy it for her (hopefully a 20% off one item coupon at Dicks Sporting Goods will come along). So her jacket and her sister's jacket will APPEAR to be "equal" in value, when in reality hers'll cost much more. I'll be the only person who knows that one was purchased in spring on clearance and one was purchased in November/December.

And sometimes I've bought them "big things" for special years. For example, one year we gave the oldest a homemade coupon for private driving lessons (which meant she could get her permit/license actually ON her birthday . . . rather than waiting 6-9 months to get into the school's free program). This was about $450 -- more than we usually spend on one gift. We warned her that she was going to get one big thing and a couple little things, while her sister would get more of a "normal haul". She understood, and she was BEYOND THRILLED with her gift. This year the younger daughter'll be getting that same gift: The same homemade coupon for private driving lessons. The downside is that -- smart little thing she is -- I'm sure she's expecting it, whereas it was a surprise and a thrill for my oldest, who hadn't even realized private lessons were an option.

Most years it's been fairly even . . . for example, I'm thinking of the year one daughter received an ipod, while the other received a Gameboy. Both the specifics that they wanted, but fairly equal in value and number.

 

[MrsPete]

I only have 1 child (and he's the only grandchild for my family) so I don't worry about equality there but I know my parents make it equal money with my sister and I. I know roughly how much it is and I keep my request(s) under that.

My mother in law likes to have equal presents. My son's cousins are 22 and 19 so they get a lot more spent on them. Of course, my son (6) has only seen that grandmother twice so he doesn't realize it's not equal.

I'm not sure grandparents don't need to work harder at this than parents. Kids are with their parents all the time, and -- if they're not spoiled rotten types -- they understand that their parents do things for them all year long. For example, one year my oldest got her class ring for Christmas. It arrived in November, and she picked it up at school. She didn't whine that her sister had more gifts that year; she understood that she'd had her "big gift" a month earlier.

With grandparents, it's different. Or, usually it is.

I'm remembering that one of my grandmothers was very unequal in her gift giving (and in her love, but that's another story). My father's mother'd give a small gift -- maybe fancy bath soaps. And she'd load my cousins up with expensive toys and complete outfits. Worst of all: She'd take me shopping to try on clothes for my girl cousins, and then she'd buy for them and not for me. Christmas was just one of her ways of punishing us for having a mother of whom she didn't approve.

 

[SaraJayne]

We do equal dollar amounts, not number of gifts.