How do you know if your child is ready for Kindergarden?

[princessmom29]

Oh, I see what you mean. Around here activities go by age not grade even non-sports. If you are a Sept birthday you are in activities with the kids in a lower grade unless you start school late. This gives people more incentive to hold back the late summer/early fall kids. I really can't blame parents for doing it.

that makes more sense from a sports standpoint. I don't think I would lelt it decide for me, but I understnad what you are saying now.

 

[avahoneybee]

I think the majority of children at age 5 know what is necessary to enter K. I also think the reason some children are held out a year is because of the parents and not the child's ability to perform the work. I think some believe if they hold their child back a year it's going to make life easier on them and the child, and make a huge difference 5, 6 years down the road. It does not.

OP - If your son can do everything they require, I'd send him. My opinion of course.

 

[drmommy]

My son's b-day is Aug 26, and cut off in Texas is Sept 1. So at age 5 he started kindergarten. Boy was that a tough year for all of us! And he had done pre-k and had a good foundation academically, so we thought...he just was not ready socially and did not have the maturity that his peers had. So DH and I made the decision to have him repeat K. Fortunately, we were moving over the summer so DS got a fresh start at a new school with new friends. This has been the best decision we ever made! He's a whole new kid! He does his homework fairly independently, before it was like pulling teeth. His attention span was nil. He's even made more friends than he did at his previous school and I think it's because he's more confident. All I can say is: what a difference a year makes!

So to answer your initial question, I think it's more than academics that determines readiness. Perhaps he could go to pre-K more often?

 

[J3nn78]

You really need to talk to the preschool teacher and to the K teachers at the school he would attend.
Some things to consider
The length of the school day- this is really the biggest factor for me. My DS goes to preschool 3 days a week and loves it. The K program is 5 days a week for almost 8 hours a day. I feel that at an early 5 this fall, he is just not ready for that length of day and 5 days a week
Find out about the K program- ours is very demanding. K used to be what preschool is now. My DS is very bright and could most definitely handle the material itself, but I fall back to the LONG days and the fact that I do not feel he would be able to handle that yet.

If our school had a 1/2 day program, I would likely send him.

In general, most boys are not as ready socially/maturity as girls are at the same age.

TO the above poster, I ABSOLUTELY AGREE that it comes down to more than academics. If I went on academics, my child could do K right now.

 

[mjkacmom]

and that's about what we hope they leave with.. as well as the pledge, calendar awareness, and some phonics.

But I would ask around about what is standard practice where you live. Our cutoff is Dec 1 also. Very, very few people send their kids (especially boys) with Sept-Nov birthdays. My son is July and was ready. Then I sent him and found out that there was only one kid in his class that was younger. I couldn't believe it.. and I hate that so many people do it just because they can. The cutoff is there for a reason and should only be altered if the child is truely not ready.

Anyway, I would find a few parents with K kids to talk to and see if you can look at a class list to see what the trend is in your area. There very well may be a huge number of kids that will be a full year older.

So I guess it depends on the district. If a child is not reading well before entering first, they are advised to be held back. Also, sports here are usually mandated by birthday, not grade. Ds11 had a couple friends who had to wait an extra year to play baseball and soccer.

 

[Familyof4lovesDW]

You should talk to the preschool teachers he has now. Get their opinions, of what they think to consider into your decision. We have a screening in April and then we get the results of how they did on the screening. So you get the results way before school starts. I think maturity is important. You can talk to your preschool teacher or school district to get a list of what is required for your child to know. I did hold my DS back, he has an April birthday. He is one of the oldest kids in his class, but he does not mind, nor do I think he realizes it. He is small for his age, did not have the social/emotional skills and has trouble with academics. He is the same size as the other kids in the class or smaller. The way I thought about it was that I would rather hold him back now, than have him get held back at a later age when his peers can realize that, or lower his self esteem. That is what several adults have said that were held back in school. Or worse that happens is he does Kindergarden twice. I did what I thought was best for my child and do not worry about what others say about it. I am sure you will make the right decision
About the sports, the way that works is you can start at age 6 by August 31 so as long as you meet the date cutoff you can be in kindergarden or first grade. So as example he could play football in kindergarden because he is 6, but DD has to wait til first grade to cheer because she will not meet the age requirement.

 

[kim_o]

What is the appropriate "maturity level" for a 4/5 year old? You hear a lot of parents say that social and emotional maturity is more important, but as someone in a similar decision making situation, I just don't understand how you know your child is mature enough. Since DS is the oldest, I dond't really know how to gauge if he is mature or immature in comparison to his peers. He can sit for long periods of time and has a huge attention span (always has), but is that a defining point of maturity?

 

[princessmom29]

What is the appropriate "maturity level" for a 4/5 year old? You hear a lot of parents say that social and emotional maturity is more important, but as someone in a similar decision making situation, I just don't understand how you know your child is mature enough. Since DS is the oldest, I dond't really know how to gauge if he is mature or immature in comparison to his peers. He can sit for long periods of time and has a huge attention span (always has), but is that a defining point of maturity?

the whole "maturity level" thing is really, really subjective at best, and most of the time just thrown about as a justification for whatever decision a parent has made. The term is used a lot without a clear definition of what it means or how to apply it. I honestly think that it is not as much of a factor as alot of parents make it out to be, and in a lot of cases a child labled "immature" is not. It a behavior issue rather than maturity.

 

[TxRabbit]

the whole "maturity level" thing is really, really subjective at best, and most of the time just thrown about as a justification for whatever decision a parent has made. The term is used a lot without a clear definition of what it means or how to apply it. I honestly think that it is not as much of a factor as alot of parents make it out to be, and in a lot of cases a child labled "immature" is not. It a behavior issue rather than maturity.

It is a behavior issue, but a lot of maturity is learning to behave as is appropriate to the setting and circumstances.

Maturity could mean whether or not your child can go to the bathroom by themselves. Seriously. My DS was slow in the number 2 department and required a lot of help for a long time. I'm sorry if TMI, but it was an issue. Holding back from school was not an option (January bday), but let's just say that it is an option and you are dealing with similar. Could be traumatic at school. Kids don't have a whole lot of time to deal with bathroom issues. The breaks are fast. Everyone is in the bathroom together. Your kid is at school for hours. It's possible they will need to do their business at school and if they can't deal with it, then you have some work to do and goals to achieve. Lots of kids don't deal with this, but I've talked to enough other moms of boys to know that it isn't exactly uncommon either.

My DS also had issues with pants, specifically button and/or snaps. He just couldn't do it. Yes. Behavior. Yes, maturity. We hunted far and wide for the all elastic pants. He wasn't alone in this, I saw plenty of unbuttoned kids around, but they didn't care. Mine did and he didn't handle it well. Maturity.

These are simple everyday things. Child mature at different rates and have the ability to do things at different rates. Your child needs to have attained a certain level of independence before being able to deal with taking care of their own needs while away from a caretaker. This is what I would refer to when talking about maturity as it related to being ready to go to school.

The school day is long. Sending DS to school was a whole new thing for me to deal with as well. I had no idea that the car rider line was going to be as incredibly long as it was. I was absolutely SHOCKED when I went to pick him up. He told me much later in the year, after we finally had a routine, that he had fallen asleep in the waiting lines while waiting for me to get him. Maturity could simply refer to the ability to get up in the morning, prepare for what is really a long school day for a 5 year old, and be able to deal with it without taking a full-on nap in the afternoon. Kindergarten is not what it used to be. So many kids are in fulltime pre-schools or some other care while parents work. Kindergarten isn't as much a shock to the system for these kids. But for a child that generally stays home, may go to preschool for a day a week for a few hours, school can be a major adjustment.

 

[princessmom29]

It is a behavior issue, but a lot of maturity is learning to behave as is appropriate to the setting and circumstances.

Maturity could mean whether or not your child can go to the bathroom by themselves. Seriously. My DS was slow in the number 2 department and required a lot of help for a long time. I'm sorry if TMI, but it was an issue. Holding back from school was not an option (January bday), but let's just say that it is an option and you are dealing with similar. Could be traumatic at school. Kids don't have a whole lot of time to deal with bathroom issues. The breaks are fast. Everyone is in the bathroom together. Your kid is at school for hours. It's possible they will need to do their business at school and if they can't deal with it, then you have some work to do and goals to achieve. Lots of kids don't deal with this, but I've talked to enough other moms of boys to know that it isn't exactly uncommon either.

My DS also had issues with pants, specifically button and/or snaps. He just couldn't do it. Yes. Behavior. Yes, maturity. We hunted far and wide for the all elastic pants. He wasn't alone in this, I saw plenty of unbuttoned kids around, but they didn't care. Mine did and he didn't handle it well. Maturity.

These are simple everyday things. Child mature at different rates and have the ability to do things at different rates. Your child needs to have attained a certain level of independence before being able to deal with taking care of their own needs while away from a caretaker. This is what I would refer to when talking about maturity as it related to being ready to go to school.

The school day is long. Sending DS to school was a whole new thing for me to deal with as well. I had no idea that the car rider line was going to be as incredibly long as it was. I was absolutely SHOCKED when I went to pick him up. He told me much later in the year, after we finally had a routine, that he had fallen asleep in the waiting lines while waiting for me to get him. Maturity could simply refer to the ability to get up in the morning, prepare for what is really a long school day for a 5 year old, and be able to deal with it without taking a full-on nap in the afternoon. Kindergarten is not what it used to be. So many kids are in fulltime pre-schools or some other care while parents work. Kindergarten isn't as much a shock to the system for these kids. But for a child that generally stays home, may go to preschool for a day a week for a few hours, school can be a major adjustment.

To me those are not maturity issues, but things easily handled at home in the weeks and months leading up to K. You know it is coming, so get them ready for it. Teach them to wipe their bottom, button their pants, and start getting them up early and cut down naps in June if they are going to school in August. I am home summers with my DD, and that is what we did. Most of the stay at homes in our summer play group did the same. Their kids were fine. For them it was not a capability issue, but a "mom has always done it for me" issue. MY DD isn't strong enough for true jeans buttons yet, so I bought pants with snaps. None of these things are hard to accomidate and should not keep a child out of school.

 

[TxRabbit]

To me those are not maturity issues, but things easily handled at home in the weeks and months leading up to K. You know it is coming, so get them ready for it. Teach them to wipe their bottom, button their pants, and start getting them up early and cut down naps in June if they are going to school in August. I am home summers with my DD, and that is what we did. Most of the stay at homes in our summer play group did the same. Their kids were fine. For them it was not a capability issue, but a "mom has always done it for me" issue. MY DD isn't strong enough for true jeans buttons yet, so I bought pants with snaps. None of these things are hard to accomidate and should not keep a child out of school.

I wasn't meaning that would be a reason for keeping a child out of school, unless, of course, you don't address them before school gets started. I was talking more in an overall sense of a child being able to care for themselves as they would need to while being at school. I was trying to point to different things that would be indicators of a maturity/development level that wasn't ready for kindergarten. The OP asking about readiness has a child that will be 4 years and 8 months old when they start kindergarten. Mine was 5 years 7 months old. That is a huge developmental difference. Each year in those early years sees leaps and bounds of differences.

I don't want to argue about whether or not a parent is not helping their child along enough and whether or not a child at a certain age should or should not be able to do for themselves. I didn't think this thread was about that. I'm just trying to point out all the different aspects involved in a child's day at school and the fact that they need to be ready in all these ways to a certain extent.

It's very interesting to me how the cut offs in different states and areas of the world result in kids being a dramatically different age when they start school. If the OP were in Texas, it wouldn't even be an issue. Her son wouldn't be eligible for kindergarten. And yet, because he is eligible in Minnesota, we have this thread.

 

[drmommy]

I concur with TxRabbit...in that 'maturity' in this sense can be used to describe the child's level of independence and their behavior. And in my son's case, it was definitely a case of immaturity for Kindergarten. He was able to take care of his personal needs at school and understood the lessons, but he just could not complete tasks in a timely manner and required constant oversight or he would simply stop doing the work. And at that time, he was in a private school with a 4:1 student/teacher ratio.

As another example: both his private school and his current school use a green/yellow/red color system to assess behavior for the day. Green=good, yellow=needs to try harder, red=really did something bad. At his private school, he floundered between green & yellow, but mostly yellow. This year: all green, everyday! I think it has everything to do with more maturity and being able to understand what's expected of him and complete tasks. Justifying my decision to hold him back? Not really...green is good, that's objective evidence for me!

 

[MissDaisyofTexas]

the whole "maturity level" thing is really, really subjective at best, and most of the time just thrown about as a justification for whatever decision a parent has made. The term is used a lot without a clear definition of what it means or how to apply it. I honestly think that it is not as much of a factor as alot of parents make it out to be, and in a lot of cases a child labled "immature" is not. It a behavior issue rather than maturity.

I have to respectfully disagree with "maturity" being used to justify whatever decision a parent has made. My son's immaturity (compared to his peers) was very evident when observing him at school and at soccer. I think all parents have their child's best interests in mind when making these types of tough decisions that they hope will be best for their children in the long run.

 

[RMulieri]

Only you know for sure. I will tell you that our school district REQUIRES that your child can recognize shapes,colors, letters in RANDOM order, numbers 1-20.That they should be able to write their first name and last name.Know their phone number and address. They should be able to take care of their toileting needs, zip coats and pants zippers too.I thought it was alot, but I am glad she knew this stuff because at this point she is READING.They use the first few weeks to review and they go on to sight words and early reading and math skills.I was shocked.In my day( I am 35) you learned to read in 1st grade.

 

[aanderson5]

I always find these discussions interesting. Where we live we have 2 years of Kindergarten (JK and SK). Kids start a year earlier than in the states and in our province the cut off is Dec 31. This means many kids are 3 when they start Kindergarten. And no one, at least no one I know, holds kids back. It is not even discussed here. Depending on the school board kids either go half days, everyday or full days (2 days one week 3 days the next). That is about to change to full days for everyone. Full days are being phased in and all schools are expected to be full day Kindergarten in the next five years.

I was actually a little disapointed when DS was born in January because he was going to have to wait an extra year. I now see that his will have an advantage being the oldest in his class but I believe he would have been fine this year. He has many friends a few months older than him and he was definitly at thier level socially and academically.

As I said I just find these discussions so interesting because it is so not an issue here.

ETA - Junior kindergarten is not preschool incase you were wondering. Kids go to Preschool for a year - if parent wants - before kindergarten.

 

[jsalam]

Wow!! How unfair is that to all the other kids on the team?? Talk about unfair advantage!

My DD is a March baby and is the youngest in her class....our cut off is Aug. 1st and almost everyone here waits an extra yr to send their kids, for sports, for them to be more mature.

I think it shouldn't be allowed. there are 7 year olds in Hanna's class and she isn't even 6 yet! It's ridiculous. And they think the older ones are gifted b/c they are doing work that they should have done a year prior. UGH this topic makes me so frustrated!

Your cut off however, is VERY late and I DO think if you ever think you may move, you should perhaps wait. otherwise, you could send him to more days of preschool as a better test. Even if you don't move, Dec 1st seems SOOOOO late. In the midwest, our cut offs have always been around the time school starts so no 4 yr old starts KG, essentially.

 

[ekatiel]

As an EDUCATOR (former third grade teacher) I wish that parents were required to send their children to K at 5. I also wish that schools made K curriculum more suited to 5 year olds. Unfortunately, in today's high-stakes testing world, kindergarten is the new first grade.

SO, as a PARENT, I decided to hold my DS back from kindergarten this year (he turns six on July 19th, and will start kinder in the fall). I did A LOT of research on the subject before I made my decision. Here are some of the things I found in my research.
Evidence that tipped me towards holding DS back:
--Here in Texas, as a PP mentioned, it is VERY common to hold summer born boys out of kinder. So, yes, one of my reasons for holding DS out was that "everyone is doing it".
--According to some studies, children who are young for their grade are more likely to be retained or be labeled as "learning disabled".
--According to the book Boys Adrift, the language center of a 5 year old boy's brain is very similar to that of a 3 year old girl's brain. We don't fault three year old girls for not being able to read-- Why do we fault 5 year old boys for not reading yet?
--We could afford to send DS to preschool for another year, and holding kids out here is so common that they have special "advanced prek" or "bridge" classes for these kids.
--My DH (also a summer birthday) was held back and thinks it was the right decision for him (ODS is very similar to DH).

Here is some evidence that I read AGAINST holding kids back:
--Several studies have shown that it makes no difference academically by the time the kids are in 4th grade-- any disadvantage that a child had from being the youngest disappears by fourth grade.
--There have also been studies that show that children who are older for their grade level have higher school drop out rates (b/c they turn 18 before they leave school and can choose to drop out legally as adults).

In the end, I felt that there was good evidence for holding DS back, that his fine motor skills were lagging, and he was not developmentally ready to sit and work for such a long day. I am glad we made the decision that we did. Unfortunately, I have to make the decision all over again for my YDS next year (he will be 4 on June 2nd)! I'm not looking forward to agonizing over the decision again, but as parents, we have to weigh the evidence and do what we think is best for our children. --Katie

 

[MTW]

In the end, I felt that there was good evidence for holding DS back, that his fine motor skills were lagging, and he was not developmentally ready to sit and work for such a long day. I am glad we made the decision that we did. Unfortunately, I have to make the decision all over again for my YDS next year (he will be 4 on June 2nd)! I'm not looking forward to agonizing over the decision again, but as parents, we have to weigh the evidence and do what we think is best for our children. --Katie

Katie:
ITA. 1st DS turns 6 on July 2 and we made the same decision. 2nd DS Bday is June 29...he will be 3. I could have written your post!

 

[Britgirlus]

How does your son do socially ? Does he still take naps ? The main worry I had when my son started school (he has a June 7th birthday, started K in late August), was how tired he was going to be - and he was, for the first couple of weeks. He already has a 7.30pm bedtime, but that first week, he was in bed by 7pm some nights, poor thing ! He did adjust, though - 2 or 3 weeks was all it took. Now, he is the youngest kid in 1st grade (and the smallest) - but goes to 2nd grade for math, and does just fine being with the older kids. He also plays soccer with the next age group up, and certainly holds his own there. My point is - only you can tell whether your child is ready - they are all so very different -s o go with your gut

 

[marieNJkitty]

Thank you all for your wonderful answers! You have given me and DH a lot to think about!