How do you justify the finances taking a Disney World trip?

[elaine amj]

I have been follpwing along as I want to take my mother, brother, SIL and 3.5yr old niece next summer.

What about offering WDW or a cruise and see which they would prefer? Your granddaughter may surprise u. Or not. I agree - her vacation style would drive u batty. Unless Disney is different for her. Otherwise a cruise or a cabin may be a better option.

 

[stayhomemom77]

Well, if you decide to go forward I think the best bet is to outline your expectations and ask mom and dad if they are willing/able to commit to that plan.

For example:

We'd like to take your family to Disney for a week. We would pay for everything. We'd like to be sure we make the most of our time there as well as the most out of our money, so we have a few requests. We will have a scooter for Grandpa and will expect to spend about 5 days in the parks. We'd like to be there by 8 am each day and stay six or eight hours as we tour the parks doing the rides and attractions. This would mean a fair amount of walking at a reasonable pace. We will rest up in the evenings and plan to enjoy some really good meals. We want the boys to have a great time, so there is some wiggle room to this schedule if it seems as though they need a little more down time but otherwise we'd like to maintain a fairly full schedule. Please feel free to discuss this as a couple. If you feel you can agree to this kind of schedule...let us know so we can start booking!!

I can't see how something worded in this way would offend. Everyone knows how the trip will go and they have an out if their expectations differ from yours.

Good luck! I hope you're able to start planning this trip in earnest sometime soon.

 

[Bete]

Well, if you decide to go forward I think the best bet is to outline your expectations and ask mom and dad if they are willing/able to commit to that plan.

For example:

We'd like to take your family to Disney for a week. We would pay for everything. We'd like to be sure we make the most of our time there as well as the most out of our money, so we have a few requests. We will have a scooter for Grandpa and will expect to spend about 5 days in the parks. We'd like to be there by 8 am each day and stay six or eight hours as we tour the parks doing the rides and attractions. This would mean a fair amount of walking at a reasonable pace. We will rest up in the evenings and plan to enjoy some really good meals. We want the boys to have a great time, so there is some wiggle room to this schedule if it seems as though they need a little more down time but otherwise we'd like to maintain a fairly full schedule. Please feel free to discuss this as a couple. If you feel you can agree to this kind of schedule...let us know so we can start booking!!

I can't see how something worded in this way would offend. Everyone knows how the trip will go and they have an out if their expectations differ from yours.

Good luck! I hope you're able to start planning this trip in earnest sometime soon.

Well put. I think we need a discussion. In this case I don't want to make any assumptions.

 

[kymom99]

Your update really changes the discussion here. I have some experience with this. We have young grandchildren who live a couple hours away. We also do not see them a lot. We have done vacations with them, but not at our expense. The parents are much like you describe. Very laid back, not early risers, like to take naps.....

When we have gone to Disney we have stayed in separate rooms. They did make a very good effort to get up and keep up with us. A couple of days they didn't but we went on without them and they caught up later. We didn't let it stop us.

What I am saying I guess is that you will not be able to control how they are on vacation. If you decide to do this, you have to be willing to let them do what they want to do and not resent them, or you will have a terrible time. Maybe plan to meet for a main meal each day and tour around those meals. I do think you should have the discussion with them. They might surprise you.

 

[xipotec]

Your update really changes the discussion here. I have some experience with this. We have young grandchildren who live a couple hours away. We also do not see them a lot. We have done vacations with them, but not at our expense. The parents are much like you describe. Very laid back, not early risers, like to take naps.....

When we have gone to Disney we have stayed in separate rooms. They did make a very good effort to get up and keep up with us. A couple of days they didn't but we went on without them and they caught up later. We didn't let it stop us.

What I am saying I guess is that you will not be able to control how they are on vacation. If you decide to do this, you have to be willing to let them do what they want to do and not resent them, or you will have a terrible time. Maybe plan to meet for a main meal each day and tour around those meals. I do think you should have the discussion with them. They might surprise you.

Set a budget and stick with it.

But all this can be answered in 3 words.

Life is short.

 

[lorijohnhill]

About six years ago, my brother decided to take our entire family to Disneyland for Thanksgiving. This was a total of six adults and one child. He booked three rooms at the Grand Californian, purchased three day park hoppers for all of us, and paid for all the meals (including a character meal at Goofy's Kitchen for Thanksgiving day). People told him he was crazy to do this, but this was what he wanted and we all had a fantastic time! Our dad had such a fabulous time on this trip, he was taking post retirement consulting jobs to save up so we could do it again. He wanted to pull out all the stops and "do it right - just like last time!"
As it turns out, that trip my brother funded was the last family trip we all had together. Our dad died, unexpectedly, on Easter Sunday 2013. We will always remember that trip. My daughter had just turned 4 at the time and she remembers it vividly. Every time we walk past the rocking chair on the porch on Main St. she talks about how Pappy sat there. She talks about Goofy polishing Pappy's bald spot on his head. There are so many memories that we would not give up for anything. All this is to say that you never know what will happen tomorrow. You have to live for today. If you want to build lifelong memories with your grandchildren and great-grandchildren, you need no other justification. They can save for college on their own, but they can't build memories with you without you.

As far as the other concerns go... I really don't think a stay at home mom of two four year old children could possibly be as lazy as you fear. If you don't spend much time with them, you can't possibly know exactly how she spends her days. You may be pleasantly surprised by how she responds to Disney. A simple conversation with the parents about how WDW "works" and what kind of energy levels are expected may ease your concerns. Maybe even posing it as "Do you think the kids can handle these kind of days?" might give you the answer to how the parents will handle it.

 

[Disneyliscious]

I do not wish to offend anyone, as this is only my opinion.

I had 2 sets of grandparents that were total opposites. One set had very little money, but every couple of years would pile all the grandkids into the car and take a road trip somewhere. Graceland, Corpus Christie, Memphis, Washington, D.C., myrtle beach, etc. we would either camp or stay in really cheap roadside motels. We ate sandwiches in the car, grilled out, etc. Some of my favorite childhood memories come from these trips, usually when something went wrong ( which it often did!). When they died, all they left us were the memories, no money.

My second set of grand parents were savers. They reused ziploc bags, never went on vacations, lived very frugally. They had substantially more money than my other grandparents.
When they passed there were two cedar chests filled with beautiful linens, crystal and other glass wear that they were saving for "special occasions". They left each of their grandchildren a small amount of money in trust for our educations. For which I was grateful and still am. Plus the cedar chests full of brand new items for "special".

Most of my childhood favorite memories come from the times spent with my first set of grandparents, eating PB&J in an old station wagon on our way to Graceland or some other silly place. Even the trips that were disasters are funny in retrospect. Like the time the whole crew nearly got arrested for camping on the beach!

So I decided with my own family to save and spend on family times that people will hopefully have fond memories of for the rest of their lives. We spend what little "extra money" there is on good times rather than things for "special" or saving accounts for grandchildren. Now that's not the right decision for everyone, but it's what works for us.

This right here...is how its done. I felt like I was reliving my childhood when I read this. I can honestly say that our trips when we had the least amount of money were the best ones ever. Having less money to spend on trips/vacation means you have to be more creative with what you have. I remember piling into a van with family and a big chest cooler. Making sandwiches and grabbing cokes on the drive down. A loaf of bread and a pack of bologna....man, it was the best meal ever.

Took my own family to Kentucky Kingdom last summer. We all piled in a van and packed a chest cooler. Best trip ever. In fact, they are begging to go back again this summer.

Sometimes spending less results in more

 

[Golfjbc89]

I know it seems (and is) a lot of money but the experiences for you and your SO are what life is about IMO. the grand kids will love it and you will love it even more. If i some day have 1 chance to take grand kids to WDW i would do it in a heartbeat. You have money to make experiences, and if you have a chance to see one of your favorite vacations through the eyes of your grandchildren i couldn't pass that opportunity. You only have 1 chance to live life, enjoy it. Due to Disney raising prices you might have to cut back some places where you normally wouldn't (food, hotel, souvenirs) but you can still have that magical experience!

 

[Mrs~Incredible]

Good luck.

 

[leebee]

If it helps any, my DH, DD22, and I had a conversation earlier today about Disney vs. college costs. DD graduated from college in May 2015; she went to our state university and lived 3 years on campus, 1 year in an apartment. We have been to Disney a LOT, maybe 20 trips (maybe a few more). We always traveled frugally, spending about $1000-$1500 per trip (free airfare with SW rapid rewards or with ex-BIL's benefits as he's an airline employee, sharing accommodations/vehicles with other family members, using Disney VISA rewards, staying offsite most of the time, staying onsite if it's cost effective, breakfasts in our room, etc.). Anyhow, while looking for last year's tuition payments for the tax return, I found a full accounting of what 4 years in college cost- and how we/she paid. She borrowed about $27K for college and I mentioned that if we'd had fewer Disney trips and instead had put the money into a college fund, she wouldn't have the college debt now. She looked HORRIFIED at the thought, and said she'd MUCH rather have had all the trips, all the family fun, all the memories of our travels than to have had no college debt. Her loan repayments are about $250 a month, which she finds manageable, and she just cannot fathom NOT having all our wonderful family vacation memories!

I agree that you probably should talk to your grandchild/spouse before deciding to take this trip. I like the idea of approaching them with the "we will pay but this is what the trip will entail" and include the goal of rope drop, long hours IN the parks, etc. Remember that even if they promise to do it "your way," it might not happen. You need to decide if doing Disney "their way" will be a deal-breaker for you- because despite promises to the contrary, if mom decides to sleep in or hang at the pool, you can't really force her to do otherwise!

(and I'd skip the dining plan. Eat breakfast in the room, QS for lunch, QS or TS for dinner. Unless everyone gets ALL the ecoutrements at each meal- dessert, soda, etc- and orders the most expensive entrees, you won't save any money. If people aren't hungry and want to share, or want to skip a meal- POOF- there goes any savings, unless you can get free dining at a moderate or upgrade the QS dining plan if staying at a value resort.)

 

[damskipi13]

I think this has been nagging at me. It took all these posts for me to realize there are underlying issues, too.

It's just getting to Florida and doing Disney once there that will be a challenge for the parents of the great grandkids. I know the day of arrival and departure will not have time at the parks. For one, I'm sure I will have to do later air flights. Mom won't get up early; I'm sure. Then, settling in the resort will take more time for them. It's like everything is in slow motion. I can picture mom wanting to sleep the morning away each day. We can't handle the great grandkids on our own or I wouldn't care. We can help some, but we can't take over completely. I can see mom doing a three hour day and being done with the parks. She'd be happy to take a nap, enjoy the pool where she could just watch the kids in the pool and skip the parks except for a short look. Or worse yet stay in the resort room and watch television. I'm not sure about dad's drive and energy, either, but he has a good job and he has a physical job; so, I think he would have endurance. I don't think he would go to the parks without mom. There's no medical condition with the parents for real. To put it simply, they are not driven. Getting them to walk the entire Disney park will be a challenge. Hubby and I are very different people. We are driven and even with our limitations we don't let it stop us from doing anything really. We take a rest if needed, but we can accomplish an eight hour day at the parks easily when we are on our own. I know with the grandkids it will be more exhausting for us and so I would like to see us do 6 hours a day at the parks. I would be satisfied with 6 hours at the parks per day to get our money's worth. We could go off on our, but that's not really the point of this trip.

We know the great grandkids like the Disney characters, but we have no idea how they will react to the crowds, waits and so forth at Disney World.

Bete, obviously if you would rather put the money away for the great grandchildren's future I won't recommend against that. It's an incredibly generous thing to do. But it seems like you really want to do this trip, so if you want to go I say GO!

Your story is so very similar to my family. We went to WDW 4 years ago, when my niece and nephew were 4 & 6. My parents are just a few years younger than you and your spouse are now, so the ages are close to the same. The kids' mother also is the type that would love to spend all day at the pool, but at Disney she was completely different. Up every morning getting the kids ready, organizing meals, leading the group to the buses. So it's possible your great grandkids' mother will surprise you. The father just went along with what everybody else was doing. I'm sure the motivation of a FREE WDW trip will help As for the kids, they still talk about the WDW trip years later and ask to go back every time I see them. So a 4 year old will definitely remember the trip. Some kids do have trouble with the characters, but you won't know that until you get there. My niece and nephew didn't really mind the waits because we made a rule ahead of time to not wait more than 45 minutes for anything, plus I used some line-waiting tricks to keep them engaged (stickers/crayons/trivia/etc). The crowds didn't bother them at all. But again, every kid is different. Either way, I'm sure they'd love the parks and the wonderful memories of their time with you. I think having an honest discussion with the parents will be the best way to determine how to proceed.

What about offering WDW or a cruise and see which they would prefer? Your granddaughter may surprise u. Or not.

I agree, I immediately thought a Disney cruise might be a good compromise if the parents decide WDW isn't right for them. Most of the Disney magic, all the food is included the way Bete would like, and plenty of options to either laze away the day or be go-go-go on a cruise.

Well, if you decide to go forward I think the best bet is to outline your expectations and ask mom and dad if they are willing/able to commit to that plan.

For example:

We'd like to take your family to Disney for a week. We would pay for everything. We'd like to be sure we make the most of our time there as well as the most out of our money, so we have a few requests. We will have a scooter for Grandpa and will expect to spend about 5 days in the parks. We'd like to be there by 8 am each day and stay six or eight hours as we tour the parks doing the rides and attractions. This would mean a fair amount of walking at a reasonable pace. We will rest up in the evenings and plan to enjoy some really good meals. We want the boys to have a great time, so there is some wiggle room to this schedule if it seems as though they need a little more down time but otherwise we'd like to maintain a fairly full schedule. Please feel free to discuss this as a couple. If you feel you can agree to this kind of schedule...let us know so we can start booking!!

I can't see how something worded in this way would offend. Everyone knows how the trip will go and they have an out if their expectations differ from yours.

+1 to this. The ONLY thing I would change is that I would recommend only one early morning to do MK opening show/rope drop since there is a concern with the mother waking up in time. And I'd put that early morning towards the end of the trip so everybody has adjusted to time changes first. Instead, I'd recommend saying something like "we only want to go early on one day, all the rest of the days can be leisurely mornings and we won't head to the parks until 11am. We'll spend 3-4 hours there, come back in the afternoons to spend time at the pool or nap, then head back to the parks at night to see the parades and fireworks." But that's just me, I like WDW best at night

 

[Katy Belle]

It's my practical side that gets to me, here. I have read all posts and this is starting to bother me in a different way. I think we can swing a $10000 trip and do a Disney trip with the extras. If I get a deal/promo it won't be that much. My real issue is putting the money to better use for the great grandkids instead. I really don't want to pinch pennies to save $1000 and be more miserable doing Disney in a lesser way. I think family moments are important, but I like getting value from a trip and in reality the great grandkids parents are a concern, too. I think this has been nagging at me. It took all these posts for me to realize there are underlying issues, too.

It's just getting to Florida and doing Disney once there that will be a challenge for the parents of the great grandkids. I know the day of arrival and departure will not have time at the parks. For one, I'm sure I will have to do later air flights. Mom won't get up early; I'm sure. Then, settling in the resort will take more time for them. It's like everything is in slow motion. I can picture mom wanting to sleep the morning away each day. We can't handle the great grandkids on our own or I wouldn't care. We can help some, but we can't take over completely. I can see mom doing a three hour day and being done with the parks. She'd be happy to take a nap, enjoy the pool where she could just watch the kids in the pool and skip the parks except for a short look. Or worse yet stay in the resort room and watch television. I'm not sure about dad's drive and energy, either, but he has a good job and he has a physical job; so, I think he would have endurance. I don't think he would go to the parks without mom. There's no medical condition with the parents for real. To put it simply, they are not driven. Getting them to walk the entire Disney park will be a challenge. Hubby and I are very different people. We are driven and even with our limitations we don't let it stop us from doing anything really. We take a rest if needed, but we can accomplish an eight hour day at the parks easily when we are on our own. I know with the grandkids it will be more exhausting for us and so I would like to see us do 6 hours a day at the parks. I would be satisfied with 6 hours at the parks per day to get our money's worth. We could go off on our, but that's not really the point of this trip.

We know the great grandkids like the Disney characters, but we have no idea how they will react to the crowds, waits and so forth at Disney World. With the parents probably very willing to bail this could be a disaster. I could see the trip being a big waste of money. We will surely have a serious talk with the parents with our concerns. This has to be handled carefully though or we will be sure to offend. We don't live in the same state; so, we don't see them on a regular basis. The bonding with the great grandkids isn't that good; because, we don't see them as much as we would like to. I don't think they would want to be with us without one of the parents. The bond is very strong with mom; since, she is a stay at home mom. This is one of the reasons we wanted to do the trip; so, we could have strong quality time with everyone at the Happy Place.

For us, it won't be a satisfying trip if we are not in the parks for at least 4 hours a day and would prefer 6. It took all these posts to realize this is more complicated than just spending the money for the trip.

Don't go to WDW! Go somewhere else! Disneyland? A lake? A beach? Do a vacation that everyone will enjoy. I have a SIL that would want to sleep and watch TV. I would never take her to WDW, it would be too irritating.

 

[Hikergirl]

OP, after reading your update I have to say I would pick a different destination. Someone will end up resenting someone at the end of the WDW trip. If you pay for it and have expectations that the mom and dad and kids vacation your way and that doesn't happen, you may look back at the trip and be disappointed.
If mom and dad feel pressure to do everything your way and do it then they may look back with disappointment.

There are plenty of wonderful places a family can make memories. I understand you want to share WDW with your great grand-kids but maybe since you and the parents vacation in different ways, a different place may be what is best.

 

[Bete]

I'm not rigid and I don't have to control the vacation. Infact, I will cater to the great grand kids first followed by mom and dad and then us. I'm just concerned that if mom, who will be ultimately in charge, treats the trip nonchalantly then it will be a waste of time and money. I'm certainly willing to go somewhere else that will be easier for her if this will overwhelm her. She went to Disney World with us when she was 13 with her two, younger brothers. She may surprise me. Maybe, when she sees the joy in her sons at the parks she'll be more eager to please them, too. There really is no guarantee either way.

Disney World is still my first choice, but as stated we will have to set up some ground rules. I will present a realistic picture and then it will be up to the parents to decide. I will have a backup vacation plan, as well. Maybe, we will decide to wait a year and go in 2017.

Personally, we are coming to a point where we want to downsize our home. Once this process gets started we won't have time for vacations for a while. So, I do feel to a degree this is do or die time.

 

[gravity01]

I have two thoughts...

On the money end: One of the awesome things about grandparents/greatgrandparents is the ability to spoil their grandkids they way they couldn't spoil their own kids. Example - At Christmas, mom bought us shoes. Grandparents bought us toys. It's almost expected - at least in my experience. Parents take care of the necessities - it's their right and their responsibilities. Grandparents have already been through that... now is their turn to be 'fun'. My mom and I had that talk last Christmas when we were at the toy store and she was fretting over whether my sister might rather have diapers for her three kids than toys.

Parents are boring, Grandparents are awesome - it's the natural way of the world ;p That's how kids still get to experience the frivolous things in life, while still getting the necessary care and discipline they need to become productive adults.

Let Mom and Dad worry about college. You've earned the right to spoil and splurge, if that's what you want to do.

On differing vacation styles: You will not catch me taking an extended-family vacation, no matter WHO pays for it! Everyone has different expectations/goals of a trip and trying to compromise on them is NOT fun, and definitely not relaxing. It's very difficult to keep everyone happy, especially when you each have a different idea of what constitutes 'vacation'. If mom and dad equate vacation with 'relaxation' and you equate it with 'adventure'... it's not going to go well. You can TRY laying out all your expectations ahead of time and seeing them agree... but that's a lot more cut-and-dry in theory than it is in practice. I've never done a vacation with extended-family where somebody didn't end up feeling resentful.

Grandma vacations with us, but she also lives with us, so that's a special situation. I would think long and hard before going anywhere with aunts/uncles/other grandparents.

 

[Bete]

I have two thoughts...

On the money end: One of the awesome things about grandparents/greatgrandparents is the ability to spoil their grandkids they way they couldn't spoil their own kids. Example - At Christmas, mom bought us shoes. Grandparents bought us toys. It's almost expected - at least in my experience. Parents take care of the necessities - it's their right and their responsibilities. Grandparents have already been through that... now is their turn to be 'fun'. My mom and I had that talk last Christmas when we were at the toy store and she was fretting over whether my sister might rather have diapers for her three kids than toys.

Parents are boring, Grandparents are awesome - it's the natural way of the world ;p That's how kids still get to experience the frivolous things in life, while still getting the necessary care and discipline they need to become productive adults.

Let Mom and Dad worry about college. You've earned the right to spoil and splurge, if that's what you want to do.

On differing vacation styles: You will not catch me taking an extended-family vacation, no matter WHO pays for it! Everyone has different expectations/goals of a trip and trying to compromise on them is NOT fun, and definitely not relaxing. It's very difficult to keep everyone happy, especially when you each have a different idea of what constitutes 'vacation'. If mom and dad equate vacation with 'relaxation' and you equate it with 'adventure'... it's not going to go well. You can TRY laying out all your expectations ahead of time and seeing them agree... but that's a lot more cut-and-dry in theory than it is in practice. I've never done a vacation with extended-family where somebody didn't end up feeling resentful.

Grandma vacations with us, but she also lives with us, so that's a special situation. I would think long and hard before going anywhere with aunts/uncles/other grandparents.

I hear you. The best way I can handle this is to see what the parents have to say first. I came on the disboard first before talking with them. I wanted to hear different points of view. Worse to worse we could go our separate ways at times at Disney. I don't want it to go that way, but it may turn out that way. We can meet for meals and some park time. All one can do is try.

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

I've stayed on-site at several of WDW resorts, BUT I will tell you that I think our very favorite trip was when we went with a bunch of family together and rented a house at Windsor Palms Resort. And blew away when we stayed at one of Disney Value resorts. Was five minutes away from Disney. We saved so much money doing that and we absolutely LOVED It, it was a blast. Had your own pool and another pool at the main rec area with game room, and a movie theatre. The kids we had with us loved it more than any other time they had gone. We actually had 13 people in the house and it didn't feel crowded at all, a 6 bedroom, and the cost was just a fraction of what you would pay at a Disney resort. They have all different size homes to rent. Go Google and search and you can get great deals from people renting. I'm sure this board will have ideas from who to rent from but honestly I would do the Windsor Palms as that one was wonderful. The house was immaculate, gorgeous. I know you feel you must do onsite but this is an option to save a LOT of money, not only in the cost where you stay, but being able to eat in breakfast or a quick lunch, whatever. We ate some quick meals in and ate out also. Also saved a lot in car rental getting codes from Mousesavers.

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

deleted double post

 

[dalayney]

Ok... here is how one of our disney world trips went. In 2005, our family of 3 went with my mom and step dad. Right off the bat, we agreed that it was ok to split up. That there was no way they would be able to keep up, as we were rope drop to close disney lovers!
They would usually meet us in the parks at around 11am for lunch so they weren't rushed in the morning. They would enjoy the park with us and usually leave around 7pm. A couple of times they would open the parks with us? And a couple of times they would stay for fireworks! It was great! They went at their pace and we went at ours! People got to get it through their heads that there is no problem with splitting up.
Now, our upcoming trip starts the monday after thanksgiving this year. It's our family of 4, my wonderful inlaws, and sister in law with her 3 kids. My sweet mother in laws health is rapidly declining. And my son will be a senior this fall. This might be one of our last family vacations with her, and who knows when the next one will be with my oldest son. Will he be too busy during college to take vacations with his parents? Who knows. But this trip has really made me realize how your not promised tomorrow. Do it now! While you can! Hugs to you!

 

[bbak30]

We really just enjoy going. I'm a nurse so I can pick up some OT and get it paid off pretty quickly. We have taken week long trips and some shorter. This next trip will hopefully be our cheapest. The in-laws are trading in some RCI points to hopefully get us a 1 bedroom villa on site. Then we will eat some meals offsite and some in our villa to save on food. Food costs are insane! I used to not mind, but the quality is going down so much that I'm having a hard time paying those prices for not so great food.

We started doing away with the extras like the BBB and the fireworks dessert part. They are nice to do, but not necessary. There is so much to enjoy with just regular park admission and we try to take advantage of that.