How do you invite a friend for your daughter and then ask them to pay their own way?

[a1tinkfans]

OP:

IMHO, if you want a "guest" to keep your child company, then I think you should just pay for it all.
BUT.............since I was confused a bit by your posts.....

If you are looking to defray costs, then you can call the mom and just say, "we wanted to know if XYZ could join us for our Disney trip. At this point, I think the air would run you $XXX.and whatever you felt she needed for "stuff", and we could cover her room and food. If that works for you, we;d love her to join us."

Then it is up to the parent to decide..they may/not have the money OR may not want to send their child with another family...ya just never know......

Whatever you decide, have a great trip!

 

[ajpa]

Well we're still trying to make that decision as far as asking. It will be very difficult to ask unless her parants pay for part of her trip. There's no doubt that her parants would insist on contributing, however, we don't want to put them in that position, considering how much this trip is going to cost. We don't know, but we believe her parants are in a position to help. Her parants are really nice and the girl is as well and would, I think be a great addition for our 14 year old. Paying the extra $800 (airfare and food)for her to go will be stretching us to the limit. It's just a hard decision for us to make.

Is this for a trip in the near future (this year) or one that is still a long way away?
If it's in the near future, I think the simplest thing to do is to talk to the parents saying you have space in the room, if they'd like to pay the airfare (& tickets?) you'd be happy to let her come. That would be at least 400 off for you. If they say yes, but only if she pays her own way, lie & tell them you are using the ddp or the qsdp and pay the difference to upgrade it.
Just my suggestion.

 

[breebella]

I've been bringing my DD's BFF for 3 yrs in a row now. I'm a single mom of 2 girls and BFF's mom is also a single mom. I've never asked the other parent to pay her daughter's trip because "I" invited her. The only thing her mother has given her daughter was some extra spending cash. I pay BFF's airfare, lodging, food, tickets and any other extra costs, like taxi's and such. It's not that I have that sort of extra $$$ laying around that I can afford to do it, but it really helps me out too because the girls are both 16 yr old now and they are great company to each and it allows me to be able to go on more of the kiddie rides with my 7 yrs old.

 

[nicki.momof3]

My DD invites friends on our vacations, she is an only child so having a friend is fun.

We ask that the parent pay for the child's park ticket, plane ticket (if we fly), and spending money. I let the parent know how much, we will be giving our DD for spending money for the week, and normally the parents give the child the same amount. We pay for all meals, snacks, show tickets, and accomodations.

This summer, she invited a friend whose family did not have a lot of money. We offered to pay for airfare in addition to the other expenses. She would have needed to come up with spending money and park ticket. The girl's family could not come up with the money, so we considered just paying for her to go. As I was talking to the girl's mother, I discovererd that the reason they didn't have the money was because the week before they spent over $250 for a day at the waterpark taking the girl and friend, and another $300 on a pop up pool for the girl (they live across the street from a public pool).

Even though we could have afforded to take the girl and pay for her expenses, we chose not to. The trip would have cost them less than they had spent the week before. The family knew for months in advance how much the trip would cost them. We were asking for them to pay less than $500 ($200 of which was for the girl's spending money) for 7nights at the GF, including HDDR, Cali Grill, Brown Derby, mani pedi's at the GF spa, BBB, afternood tea, boat rental, and multiple table service meals.

Obviously the trip was not a priority for them. I felt I shouldn't have foot the entire bill due to their lack of planning.

In essence I would have been paying for their pop up pool and their trip to the waterpark. Sorry, not gonna happen.

You made a good choice for your family - it was a generous offer. I can see the parents not wanting to spend that kid on money for their child to go on vacation without them and spending the $$ on family fun. We would never send our child on vacation with another family for over $250. I would rather spend the money on fun for our family.

 

[nicki.momof3]

Well we're still trying to make that decision as far as asking. It will be very difficult to ask unless her parants pay for part of her trip. There's no doubt that her parants would insist on contributing, however, we don't want to put them in that position, considering how much this trip is going to cost. We don't know, but we believe her parants are in a position to help. Her parants are really nice and the girl is as well and would, I think be a great addition for our 14 year old. Paying the extra $800 (airfare and food)for her to go will be stretching us to the limit. It's just a hard decision for us to make.

If it is s stretch - DON'T ASK or move to a moderate / value resort, use ME, or get the regualr dining plan.

Personally I would feel uncomfortable with myself and my husband sharing a room with my 14 year old daughter and her friend. My daughter would be fine but I think a 14 year old non family member should be in a seperate room. I would 100% opt for 2 adjoing rooms at a cheaper price. At age 14 girls (non family) need a little privacy.

 

[tlh0726]

Last post from me (if I can control myself)

First - OP have a great trip regardless if you do or do not take this other child

Second - You stated that you cannot afford to pay for this other childs costs yourself. Therefore, you need to decide what you can afford/willing to pay to have this other child join you.

Third - Seems like the only variable cost would be the airfare, so you have an approx. cost to add this child to your trip (dining, airfare, & park tickets) This approx. cost minus what you are willing/can afford to pay equals what you need the other parents to pay.

Fourth - If you want the child to go, you have no choice but to pick up the phone, make the call to the other parents, and ask them to pay X dollars to help cover this childs cost plus additional spending money for souvenirs etc.



Good luck. Once you make the call, you will feel much better.

 

[itchin2go]

If you are looking to defray costs, then you can call the mom and just say, "we wanted to know if XYZ could join us for our Disney trip. At this point, I think the air would run you $XXX.and whatever you felt she needed for "stuff", and we could cover her room and food. If that works for you, we;d love her to join us."

Then it is up to the parent to decide..they may/not have the money OR may not want to send their child with another family...ya just never know......

The only thing you're missing is that the parents might get ticked off about the whole thing. Now, they might be thrilled. No telling which way it would go. So even though, yes, they could decline or accept at their will, I would still be worried about any ill will from them.

BTW - I think OP sounds like the nicest person, and I hope everything works out ok. I understand being wedded to a certain resort, believe me. If the resort is "the thing" this time, then yes, maybe the "friend" could wait until the next trip.

 

[Pirates4me]

You don't!

 

[ajpa]

BTW - I think OP sounds like the nicest person, and I hope everything works out ok.

Ditto!!!

 

[iwrbnd]

We did this one year and will never do it again. We paid for one of my son's friend to go which made the trip much more expensive cuz had to get a bigger room. Well, he didn't appreciate it at all & said things like "That's lame." Not only did it ruin my magic but made my teenage child question if Disney is cool or not. Grrrr!

 

[Mikes:)Mom]

I just did this. It's not a big deal. We had to ask 3 different friends before we found one who could go and pay $400. All I said was hey can tony go to Disney world? We can pay half so it's only $400. The room is paid for and we have free dining. All we need to pay for is air and a park ticket. Tony mom was so excited. She was like wow a trip to Disney world for only $400. And that was that. She got online that night and pay for his airline ticket. I can't wait! My DS14 now has someone else to go on ToT over and over again with (I can only do ToT once a day) And I get some solo time.

I hope you have a wonderful vacation!

 

[DizzyStitch]

My DD wants to bring her friend next year. I have figure that her friend would need to help pay the incremental amount that she adds to the trip. Since we are driving that at least saves alot of money right there. One thing, if there are only three of you without the friend the only added cost at the parks initially would be the cost of the park tickets. Since the rooms are priced for four there really is no additonal cost for that item. Soenthing to consider.

 

[vickalamode]

I can't believe the people here who think it's rude to expect the other kid's parents to fund a portion of the trip.

When I was 12 or 13, my best friend came with us to WDW. Her family could never afford to take a vacation there all together, but were thrilled that we asked her to come and gladly paid some of her share to go. If we hadn't invited her, she would have never gotten to go there as a kid (we did go together after I graduated high school, though...it was my idea and I invited her-she paid for her half! lol! ) Even though they didn't have enough money to take their whole family, they were happy to pay for her portion for park tickets/airfare/spending money and give her the opportunity to go. My parents covered hotel and food and misc things but her parents paid for things like park tickets etc. I really don't think it is that unreasonable to ask. We don't have that much money either and couldn't afford to pay for another person's trip 100%, but I don't think it is rude to ask a friend if they'd like to come along if they can cover their costs or at least some of them...

 

[BroganMc]

The only thing you're missing is that the parents might get ticked off about the whole thing. Now, they might be thrilled. No telling which way it would go. So even though, yes, they could decline or accept at their will, I would still be worried about any ill will from them.

"ticked off" and "ill will" because someone offered to include your child in their family trip and pay half the expenses? Geez, I wonder how those types of parents feel about school field trips then.

I was never offered the opportunity to join another family when I was a kid but I have invited and brought other friends along many times on my travels. If the guest has means, they pay their airfare, tickets and CS meals. We'll also share on TS meals usually with everyone getting a turn to treat. (I don't do TS meals often so it's not that big a deal if I end up paying.) If a guest doesn't have the means then I go over my pocketbook and see just how much I can afford to spend on them.

 

[kindra657]

Hookedonears,

I think my biggest problem with this is you're taking money out of your DD friends family's vacation budget to help pay for something you want for your family. If she had asked to tag along then it would be her responsibility to pay but since you're asking her to come along for your convenience it's up to you to cover the costs.

Plus you're putting your DD friends parents in a bad situation. You're making them the bad guy if they can't afford or don't want to pay for their daughters trip to WDW.

I understand the points you have made thus far, but everyone's situations are different. We planned our up-coming trip like last minute. I brought up the idea of taking my dd's bf (who is the daughter of my bf) to wdw cause she's never been. My gf asked me how much flights were and park tickets. She paid for her park ticket $230 and her flight $150. I'll pay for her food, $36 on the QS DDP and souvineers she wants up to $50.

If someone offered to take my dd to wdw or any other trip with them, especially if they were flying, I would pay for her costs as well.

 

[kindra657]

if my child were asked to go on a vacation as big as wdw, i would not think for one minute that it would be a free trip. I haven't read all the pp, so someone may have already said this, but just figure up how much it will cost the child and say, "we 'd like _____ to go with us to disney world? It's going to cost about $___, do you think that might be doable?"

exactly!!!

 

[brendrek]

I was asked once to go with a friend on their family trip. His parents gave my parents a really long list of expenses. My Mom didn't go for it. They even wanted my share of the lodging expense, rapid rover etc... In the end they just went as a family. Hey everything happens for a reason, right?

 

[squirrel]

I think it's nice that you are willing to be responsible for another child while your on your holiday and are offering to cover some of the cost for that child to come.

I would figure out how much you can afford or are willing to pay towards her coming on the trip with you. I agree it's easier (to figure out the exact amount for the other family) if you cover the dining plan costs and have her family cover the flight and ticket.

 

[ShannonMB]

Thanks for the thread, OP! I have read all the responses because I think this is a very interesting topic. My DD is almost 9 (an only child) and much to my chagrin, I know there will come a day when she will have a lot more fun on vacation if we bring a friend along. When I have thought of this in the past, I just assumed if I were to invite a friend of DD's with us, that I would be the one to pay for that friend. I would let the other parents know to just send her along with spending money.

That said, a "friend" vacation (and all of our Disney trips when DD is a teenager will NOT be "friend" vacations) would be 5-6 nights at a value resort. I would probably try to get connecting rooms so they feel like big girls with a room to themselves (this is of course assuming I trust DD AND the friend implicitly). We would also go with the regular dining plan. Most likely I would insist that they are in the same park as me, but free to tour themselves with regular check-in by cell phone and meeting up for meals.

If the shoe were on the other foot, I don't know how I'd react if a parent approached me and asked if Lily could go on vacation with them, but that she'd have to pay $800. I'd have to decline, because that is money that would have to be diverted from OUR next trip (or something else for OUR family -- we tend not to have an extra $800 laying around). Then I would feel like a heel that I could not do this for DD -- whether she knows about it ahead of time or not. I just don't think I would be comfortable putting another family in that position, because if they are not able to do it for any reason, they will feel bad about it!!

 

[allison443]

We usually take one of my daughter’s friends to the beach for a week each year and it has really made for a great vacation. There's a big difference here though, the beach house is paid for by my parents who also come, and we drive. We always pay for everything else though, food, go-cart park, water park, etc. including many souvenirs. This past summer, the girl we took, invited our daughter on their family vacation to Maine and paid for everything including airfare. We offered to pay her way, though they absolutely declined. In a normal situation, that's the way it should work. If you invite someone, you should be prepared to pay the total cost. Their family should offer to pay her way and we should decline their offer. Disney is different, however because of the incredible cost. I’ve thought about telling our daughter that we would love to take her friend, but can’t because of the cost, and can’t ask her parents to pay part of her cost, but if she could conspire with her friend to get it accomplished than we’d be happy to take her. If her parents came to us and said we won’t let her go unless we let them pay for part of the cost, we would have to consider that then. I wonder if their DISers. May be they'l read this post.

A lot of posters are saying to ask the friend to pay for airfare...but the friend's family just took OP's dd to Maine and PAID HER AIRFARE along with everything else. So wouldn't it be fair for OP to pay the friend's airfare to Florida? It sounds like the only difference/added expense for the Disney trip is the park tickets, so maybe the family could pay for that. I think it would be tacky to ask the friend to pay 1/4 of the costs of the room, limo, or anything else that would cost the same for 3 or 4.