How do you get out of the Jewelry/Tupperware/Pampered Chef/Arbonne/CandleLite Parties

[ReneeQ]

I have been to THREE parties in the past FIVE YEARS... and that's because I wanted to attend them and had a specific item I wanted to purchase. I NEVER bring my checkbook with me, so whatever is in my wallet is what I can spend.

What an EXCELLENT idea! No checkbook, no credit or debit cards, just show up with cash! And not much at that. I'm going to try that next time I have a party I "have" to go to.

 

[Ardenne]

Lisa, you're 100% right, it's a different world these days, and it does make me sad. My parents let me go door-to-door alone selling Girl Scout cookies when I was a girl, too (though I didn't do it for as many years as you did! Wow!) I wish I could let my daughter do the same thing, but I just can't fathom taking that risk in this day and age. (And yes, it does amaze me how many kids, even very small ones, I've had come to my door alone.)

Edited to add: I've been thinking about this off and on all evening... I think what it comes down to is that I don't want to tell my daughter 'don't do that, it's not safe' about something she really wants to do, if it's worth doing and there's something I can do to make it safe enough for her to do. No, I don't want her to take unnecessary risks -- which is why I won't send her door to door alone, any more than I'd tell her it's ok to go play in the middle of the street. It just seems to me that when there's something she really, truly wants to try, simply saying 'it's not safe' and leaving it at that would be teaching her to allow fear of risk to outweigh her courage and dreams.... when what I really want to teach her is that yes, it's a dangerous world, and yes, we have to be careful, but after examining the risks carefully and taking appropriate precautions, it's ok and *good* to go ahead and pursue the things we really, truly wish to do in our lives. Whether that's going door to door to sell Girl Scout cookies, or learning a new skill like horseback riding, or maybe someday things like joining the Peace Corps or pursuing an advanced degree despite the high financial and personal costs such a goal requires... I want her to always feel confident in her ability to find solutions, to overcome hurdles and fulfill her dreams.

I hope that makes me a good parent, and not just an overidealistic one. I suppose time will tell.

 

[MrsPete]

As far as the adult parties go--stand up straight and say no. Unless you are having these parties all the time and asking people to come to yours. I have said no to these for quite a while and now I don't get invited. Exactly the response I wanted. I don't make excuses, I don't say, "we'll see" I just say no, sorry I won't be able to come. You don't owe anyone a detailed explanation of why you don't want to buy more stuff!! The kid thing is tougher. They really do need the $$ for those fundraisers. But again, you absolutely have the right to say sorry, not this time and walk away. It is just no one elses business whether you buy this stuff or not. So be brave!!!

Ditto for me. A couple years ago I just decided that I would NEVER AGAIN attend one of those home-parties. I never had a good time at one, and I don't enjoy the pressure to buy. As you said, I don't owe anyone an explaination, and no one's ever pressed me for one; however, if anyone ever does, I'll just say simply: "I do not like home sales parties."

As for kids, that is tougher. For my own children, we refuse to take part in school fundraisers -- we just don't have the time or energy to do it. Plus, I hate-hate-hate the sales tactics: the slick brochures with overpriced dollar-store merchandise, and all the kids whipped into a frenzy over the desire to "earn" a pack of Skittles candy. The kicker is that the school only gets to keep something like 40% of the money raised! It's criminal. Instead, I send in a generous donation, which is tax-deductible and 100% goes straight to the school.

Other people's kids -- I just say no, except in the unusual circumstance that I actually want the product.

 

[PaulaSue]

Honestly just say no thank-you and if invited somewhere say you can't attend. It does get easier, if you go to the party you might be guilted into buying something.

 

[mommy22gurlz]

I really hate the kids fundraisers too. The only thing I actually ever put an effort selling was candles for dd soccer team, only because they were a really decent deal, they were really big candles for like 10 bucks.

Other than that, I don't do the fundraiser thing. I am not going to make family/friends feel obligated to buy overly priced cheapy stuff. I think it is crappy too that the school has a pizza party or some sort of reward, but the kids have to sell atleast one item to attend, so I always have bought the one item myself so they wouldn't feel left out. Well when dd was in kindergarten last year, I forgot to turn in my one item order and they made her sit in the classrom with two other kids and eat a cafeteria lunch or lunch box while the other kiddos got to go attend a pizza party. These young ones don't understand why they didn't get to get any orders and they had to be excluded from a party ~ I don't like that one bit. But I always buy the very cheapest item so that way they atleast won't feel left out.

I think that donating money directly to the organization is a great idea because the money is defenitely needed and I understand the money has to come from somewhere but I'd rather not do the fundraiser

As far as all those parties...I have a past for being a sucker and if it's a friends party or if I am just going with a friend I ALWAYS end up spending money, mostly on stuff I really don't need. So I also have been following the eating out thread and grocery savings etc. ideas on this board, so from now on NO MORE PARTIES!!!

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

I had a friend who ended our relationship partially because I wouldn't help her sell Mary Kay or attend her home "purse" parties. She wanted me to take testamonial tapes and packets of information to MY work and pass them out to help her get people underneath her (and I worked for a large corporation with young salespeople, so she though I'd be a perfect target). I told her if I wanted to sell Mary Kay, I would, but I hate sales, so that's why I was a writer and not one of the sales staff. She got furious and told another friend that I wasn't supporting her. I'd gladly buy from her if I needed something, but I wouldn't SELL IT for her. It was her job, not mine -- if I wanted to be a Mary Kay rep, I'dve done so.

The purse party thing was the last straw. She wanted me to come to a counterfeit purse party she was hosting for some girl she knew from work just to get a discount. I am very particular to my handbags and save save save and use gift certificates to buy them, so I told her I just couldn't come. She went off, telling me I was a snob and everything was "Kate Spade this" and "Coach that" (I guess she could read my mind!). Truth was, I didn't want to spend $75 on a FAKE purse that I really didn't need...

Needless to say, our 10-year friendship has ended...

 

[Jacksmom99]

As far as the kid's stuff....it is horrible the way the admistration of our school pressures these kids into selling with the enticement of (stupid, worthless) prizes and peer pressure at lunch breaks on who is selling the most. If the fundraiser states the check should be made payable to the PTO/PTA then I make a donation check for $10-$20 because they only will get 10%-20% of the monies from the sales of the catalog product. My daughter is not too happy about it, but I explain as best I can the "real deal". I'll buy you one of the silly prizes (for about $2) and still contribute the same amount towards paying for field trip busses too!!!

I am so glad that DS's school will not do any sales fundraisers. They do not want the kids to feel pressured to sell or go door to door selling b/c that is potentially dangerous. All families are asked to contibute a set amount of money to the school. I think it was around $25.00. For the rest of the stuff the school needs, the PTA and local Women's group do all the soliciting and fundraising for the schools. The kids never have to sell anything!

As far as being asked to go to parties or buy things from co-workers' kids, I say sorry, I can't go or I already bought from another fundraiser. There are things from Tupperware or Pampered Chef that I really like and would use. (I did the Candlelite thing once, but now that my DD 3 is around, no more candles or pretty glass things ) My mom and her co-workers have these parties once in awhile, so I look at her book and show her things I wouldn't mind getting for Christmas or b-day. Even better, my mom loves to buy at those parties, and then has to find room in her house for the new stuff. What else can she do but clean out the cupboards and give me the stuff she doesn't use/need anymore!

 

[undertheradar]

Honest? I thank them for the invite and decline. There is no obligation to attend.

 

[KCMiller]

When I get invited to those types of parties, I check out the website, and if there's a specific item I want, I tell the hostess and give her a check - I don't actually GO.

As to the school fundraisers, I hate them - the stuff is usually crap, and overpriced, and I think it's unwise to allow children to go door to door. My kids were going with their HS band to WDW a few years ago, and fortunately, there were a group of great people handling fundraising, and here are some of the ideas which raised LOTS of money for the trip, without selling a thing.

We contracted with our local Meals on Wheels program, and worked the weekend shifts so that the regular drivers could have the weekends off. It was a good thing to do, the kids learned a lot, and the program contributed $25 to each kids account when they delivered a route (which is the regular pay for drivers, minus, of course, the benefits). It sounds like a lot of money, I know, but a route would take at least 3 hours to deliver, and you were driving all over town - the total time committment on a Saturday or Sunday was about 5 hours. I don't know if this is something which would translate to other areas, but it's worth looking into. The kids really felt like they were earning the money, and they also knew that they were doing a good thing for people who needed help. And it's was nice thing to do as a family - I know a few people who kept doing it after the fundraiser, as a family volunteer effort.

We also started a scrip program. You can learn a lot more about this by doing a Google on scrip - we used Great Lakes. Basically, you are purchasing gift certificates to any one of a number of places (Great Lakes had hundreds, with more added all the time). The scrip is discounted (varies widely, from 3% to 25%!), and the difference between the discounted price and the price you pay goes to the organization which is selling the scrip. We set it up so that each purchase of scrip was made in the name of a member of the band - some kids went on the Disney gratis because of this program. The really good thing about this program is that you aren't asking anyone to buy anything they wouldn't already use - it costs nothing. They even have scrip for places like Kroger. So it's a no brainer. We just figured out how much we usually spent on groceries each month, bought that much scrip, and kept it in our wallet, and used it like cash. Also, if a family didn't want to participate, the other families didn't have to carry them - each family could choose their level of participation - and if they wanted to just write a check for the whole trip, more power to them.

Voila, no cookie dough, no door to door, no useless calendars.


KC

 

[etwinchester]

My standard script if I don't want to attend:

"Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm unable to attend"

I do sell Mary Kay so I understand if people aren't into it or don't have the money. I love Mary Kay and like meeting new people and making them feel good about themselves. I was a SAHM and felt rundown until I had a consultant come over to do a facial. I really needed a foundation to match my skin is I'm so fair/pale. I looked and felt so good about myself afterwards. We all need that every now and then...I have no girl time and this was perfect for me !!!

Some parties I go just to purchase items for Christmas, birthdays, etc...saves me from a trip to the mall.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I thought I was the only one who dreaded these things! I always politely decline. It is not unusual to have 4 or more a year - just on our street. I have a feeling they have stopped inviting me. I used to check the websites first, but there was just not anything I could use - or that was affordable!

The school fundraisers - our school has many each year - we only participate in the larger one.(our school is not in that great a need - or I would maybe feel otherwise) I hate hitting up family/friends over and over. MY DH takes it in to work - but it goes on a table in a common area = so there is NO pressure. As for kids selling - I usually say no, unless it is chocolate - in that case they are usually in luck!!!!

I love the idea of the "scrips" by the way - going to look into that like you suggested!

 

[tink2dw]

What my hubby and I do for the kids selling stuff is tell them No thanks I can't buy at this time But I will make a donation of $5.00 Which we write into a space on the sales form and give them $5.00 right then. We have given to the cause without spending for stuff we don't need!!! It works great because the school gets 100% of the donation. But only a percentage of a sale of gift wrap.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I know this situation very well. As a high school teacher, at any given time, there are 2-10 organizations fundraising: cheerleaders, poetry club, tsunami relief, football, soccer, baseball, hockey, etc. Sometimes upwards of 10 kids will ask me to donate to the same thing. It's very difficult to say no to these kids. I limit myself to one child of each organization. I say, I'm sorry Suzie already got me. Sometimes I tell them to get me later, often they just forget. If it's just a dollar or two donation, I usually give in. For the larger ones, I will contribute once. If the same kid asks me 3 and 4 and 5 times throughout the year, I tell them not this time, sorry.

As I sell Avon, I have found people respond better to little pressure. At work I have a huge star with my name and room number up in the faculty lounge saying I sell Avon. If people want to buy, they stop by my room or leave a note in my mailbox. I never do parties, I don't call people at home except to arrange a delivery. And I do pretty well. That was actually a big reason I chose Avon. People can just order 1 or 2 items whenever they feel like and I don't have to do parties.

The best response is the simplest: "I'm sorry, not this time, but thank you" or "I'm sorry, I don't need anything right now, but thank you" say it with a smile and there's really no more pressure they can give you.

If the seller is someone you are close with, they should understand that you are not obligated to purchase simply because they are selling.

The OP has no kids and isn't on the selling end of things, but I just want to offer my opinion on this for what it's worth. If you are one of the people who constantly sell things, and never buy from anyone else, you may cause resentment. I only say this because in over a year and a half of doing Avon, my sister in law has never bought anything from me, though me, my parents and my boyfriend have bought: candy, wrapping paper, magazines, gift cards, etc. every time she was selling! (Her kids are in Catholic school and she HAS to participate in minimum of 5 fundraisers a year, selling a quota) It would be nice if she helped me out, too.

 

[PatsGirl]

I am also of the "no" camp when it comes to adult parties like tupperware or pampered chef. I never hostess those type parties so it's easy to say no and I'm rarely asked anymore. On the other hand, I love to have girls' get-togethers on a regular basis, like a pot-luck usually, and we have alot of fun for less than a dinner out.

As for kids' fundraisers, I think $$ should be raised by doing things like washing cars, bake sales (where the kids actually help bake), that sort of thing. I take pleasure in funding these type activities that show an effort on the part of the students not just "requesting" $$ from my pocketbook for things I have no need for or that are severely over-priced.

I always said I would boycott girl scout cookie sales and never bought them from anyone because of the small amount of $$ that goes to the Council, I think it's like 35 cents on a box that costs $3.50 (so that's 10% right?). Cookies that I could buy at the market for $1 probably. Well, never say never! My daughter's troop was obligated to sell a certain amount of boxes and so each scout was given a minimum to sell. I simply took the sheet to work and left it in the break room for anyone that wanted to order. OMG, I've sold well over 100 boxes each year -- it seems these cookies are near and dear to some people I have people already asking when we'll be selling them again this year.

My daughter does all the sorting, putting cookies in and out of the car, tallying up the money, etc. so she does put a lot of effort into this project. We set up our cookie shop in the break room for two afternoons and everyone picks up their cookies, she collects the money and thanks everyone so....

That's my little story about parties and fundraising

 

[ZPT1022]

I hate that the schools make the kids get out and sell that crap! My dd is starting PreK this year and I know that the school will send her out to sell. She's not going to do it, I won't let her! So can I ask what amount of money would be good for a cash/check donation?

I would call the school office and ask. My DD is going to a Catholic preschool this year and it is a requirement for all kids pre-k through 8 to do fundraising. We even had to sign a paper saying we understood that. There is a minimum they have to do each year, which I don't mind since it keeps tuition down but they do say you can opt to pay instead. I will probably let her do some of the fundraisers but limit who she asks- us, grandmas, godparents, etc.... but she totally will not be one of those kids hitting up every single person in *MY* phonebook! LOL

Becky

 

[JodyTG]

I have always paid so much in school tax even before I had a child, that I don't feel it is necessary to purchase something from a fund raiser. But then again, I don't buy the paper towels, kleenex, chalk, dry erase markers, etc. that teachers ask us to buy for the "classroom". I make sure that my DD always has what she needs and will not provide supplies to the masses. I make a decent living, but would not be doing so well if I allowed myself to be pressured into supporting everything. When there's a special field trip (or anything extra for school) I always pay for it. A teacher once tried to guilt me into fundraising and told me that the fund raising helps kids do things that they wouldn't be able to afford to do otherwise. (Read this as "not my kid".) I told her that I can't save the world and she thought that I was just the worse person ever.

But, then again, are field trips to Six Flags really necessary for educational purposes?

 

[adamandallie]

I sell Pampered Chef. I advise my hostesses that if they receive a no response to an invitation to ask the invitee if they would like to place an outside order and if they still say no then leave it at that. Hostesses shouldn't feel offended if someone can't come to a party. Everyone has busy lives and can't always be available. Also, you shouldn't feel bad about saying no if your budget doesn't allow a purchase. I know if I were invited to any type of party right now I would have to say no. Between tuition for preschool, gymnastics class, school supplies, and regular bills there is very little left in out account this month.

 

[Hodder]

I never attend these parties. When working co workers who have these parties sometimes sell "blocks" ($1 or $2 per ticket, if your name is drawn you win the amount of money raised in mechandise). A co-worker once tried to pressure me into purchasing some and I told her no, I don't buy from anyone so that it is fair.

I once worked for a company that had a very strict rule regarding soliciting. At one time they overlooked collecting money for co-workers birthdays (I refused these as well as I felt it seemed not collected for everyone) but they put a stop to it, we couldn't even collect money for co-workers who had someone ill or pass away.

I should say that I liked that policy!!! While I have no problem turning someone down some people do.

 

[marcyinPA]

A more appropriate name for home parties is "Personal Fundraiser".

I don't agree with this. The consultant or distributor who works for the company (i.e. Longaberger, Pampered Chef) is providing a means of shopping or purchasing items for people who WANT to be there and purchase those items. Many of those items are unavailable through any other avenue. There are plenty of people out there who actually LIKE those products. The person who hosts the party gets a percentage in products, not cash!, as a "thank you" for hosting the party. If nothing sells, they get nothing. Nobody is putting a gun to your head and making you attend, or even buy.