How do you feel about the gay f word?

[jharrowell]

I hate the "F" word, it has been used at me and others with total hatred.

I don't like hearing it ever, and even at Disney one can hear the whispers of its use occassionally.

Even if another gay person uses it towards another gay person, it still offends me to hear it.

Ironically the 3 letter version of the "F" word is a cigarette in the UK.

Even crazier is that the full 6 letter version of the "F" word in the UK, is a British delicacy of various organ meats, cooked like a large meatball. I think I would burst out laughing if I ever heard someone asking for a "F#####" at a UK Butcher Shop or from a Pub Menu. Thankfully EPCOT's Rose and Crown does not have it on their menu.

Phil

Scarey but true, the short version is a cigarette, so if you here a UK tourist saying they are "dying for a f##" then don't get too stressed, though it has the more derogative meaning here, it's much less used.

And as to the longer version, well: http://www.tesco.com/superstore/xpi/5/xpi50150805.htm

Though I'm sure some in our community would love to get together with 3 friends and a rich gravy sauce it's actually refering to a foodstuff.


As an aside, would you believe that the most used derogatory word over here is in fact "gay". It's been taken by the less educated youth of our society to mean useless/lame.

It's a regular thing to hear one tween say to another "that's sooo gay!"

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Yes, you hear that here too. I have a coworker who told me that she used to say, "that's gay" and then lamented that she can't say that anymore.

Queer As Folk the UK version used the word queer on the side of the jeep to denote an insult, where as the US version used the other word.

I think that kind of sums up the differences a bit.

 

[OnTheBoardsMyNameIs]

My view with this word is pretty much the same as any other insulting or derogatory word. The word itself isn't bad, it's the intent with which someone uses it. If one of my dearest friends called me an oily rag or a ...ahem....furry maggot (faux cockney rhyming slang still okay?) then it would roll right off me. I know it's a playful jab, it depends on the context and situation. If someone is using it as an insult, if they are calling me one of those things with genuine malice and disdain, then that's when I would get upset.

A word is a word, and I don't believe any word is taboo or unusable...there just has to be no hate or anger when used.

Although saying that, I'm a white bi male and would never dream of using racial epithets...so maybe that's the difference, one I can relate to as being myself, the other I'm an outsider to so feel a bit uneasy using it.

 

[glenpreece]

Yes, you hear that here too. I have a coworker who told me that she used to say, "that's gay" and then lamented that she can't say that anymore.

Queer As Folk the UK version used the word queer on the side of the jeep to denote an insult, where as the US version used the other word.

I think that kind of sums up the differences a bit.

One of my friends at work uses the "that's gay" all the time i just roll my eyes and go with it because i know she means "stupid"

 

[donald...really]

One of my friends at work uses the "that's gay" all the time i just roll my eyes and go with it because i know she means "stupid"

If I ever heard someone use that phrase at work I would ask them to please stop because it is insulting to gay people. If they did it again I would go to human resources.

 

[walt's assistant]

Straight male here who thinks that the F-word is just as bad as the N-word.

But I'm going to call out my gay friends here and say that there cannot be a double standard in its use. If the F-word is really offensive, and I think we agree that it is, then NO ONE should use it ever. No exceptions! Set a strong example, I say! Otherwise, some people think it is OK to use it if others do. Not the right message to send!

Just my opinion...

 

[glenpreece]

Straight male here who thinks that the F-word is just as bad as the N-word.

But I'm going to call out my gay friends here and say that there cannot be a double standard in its use. If the F-word is really offensive, and I think we agree that it is, then NO ONE should use it ever. No exceptions! Set a strong example, I say! Otherwise, some people think it is OK to use it if others do. Not the right message to send!

Just my opinion...

I totally agree with you. I don't think it should be used by anyone at all.

 

[f86sabjf]

Straight male here who thinks that the F-word is just as bad as the N-word.

But I'm going to call out my gay friends here and say that there cannot be a double standard in its use. If the F-word is really offensive, and I think we agree that it is, then NO ONE should use it ever. No exceptions! Set a strong example, I say! Otherwise, some people think it is OK to use it if others do. Not the right message to send!

Just my opinion...

good opinion sir

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Straight male here who thinks that the F-word is just as bad as the N-word.

But I'm going to call out my gay friends here and say that there cannot be a double standard in its use. If the F-word is really offensive, and I think we agree that it is, then NO ONE should use it ever. No exceptions! Set a strong example, I say! Otherwise, some people think it is OK to use it if others do. Not the right message to send!

Just my opinion...

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Nauf]

Gotta chime in here... although I don't throw the word around all the time, I do use it. Someone else mentioned that you have to gage the situation and I think the key is that right there. ANY word can be made offensive in the right (or wrong) context.

 

[Nauf]

Oh wow! My 100th post... and it was about my potty mouth! AWESOME!!!

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Gotta chime in here... although I don't throw the word around all the time, I do use it. Someone else mentioned that you have to gage the situation and I think the key is that right there. ANY word can be made offensive in the right (or wrong) context.

When I hear people use the F or N word, I just think its classless, IMO, regardless of how it is used. I have no issues saying someone is too feminine or is very feminine, but avoiding the F word.

I also never use the N word, I volunteer a lot in one of the worst, poverty stricken areas in Syracuse, the area is predominently African American. I hear the N word all the time, its used in jest and some would think because its used by the African American populus, that its okay, but I do not agree. When I hear one of the individuals I work with use that term, I correct them, because it's inappropriate.

 

[Nauf]

When I hear people use the F or N word, I just think its classless, IMO, regardless of how it is used. I have no issues saying someone is too feminine or is very feminine, but avoiding the F word.

I also never use the N word, I volunteer a lot in one of the worst, poverty stricken areas in Syracuse, the area is predominently African American. I hear the N word all the time, its used in jest and some would think because its used by the African American populus, that its okay, but I do not agree. When I hear one of the individuals I work with use that term, I correct them, because it's inappropriate.

I am going to respectfully disagree with you and leave it at that.

 

[hippiemama76]

For example I used the N word while writing a paper to describe a white character, who was illiterate, dirty, foul minded, etc. Thus I feel that by using the term not racially, or towards a specific group, is perfectly okay, providing I am sure of my audience.

Sorry, Mitch, but I totally disagree. I don't think, especially in the US, that the N word can be used "not racially" by a white person. Maybe it's because I was raised in the pseudo-south (liberal college town in FL), but IMO/IME, white people just can't say that.

Same, IMO, for hets using the f/d word. If you are one, feel feel to re-appropriate the word. If you're not, it's off the table.

When I talk to my aunt or her wife on the phone, we always start the conversation with, "What's up (word that rhymes with witch)?" I can guarantee that I would be hopping on my broom, though, if anyone else called me that word!

I also hate hearing people say, "It's so gay" as a pejorative. That was the one thing that drove me nuts when I taught teenagers! Depending on my mood, it received anything from a glare, to a "Really? His car is gay? So it's romantically involved with another Toyota? How strange." to a detention.

 

[tinkerbell_xo]

I HATE HATE HATE that word. Oh my goodness I HATE IT! I'm not gay and I don't even have any close friends that are gay, so it's not like I'm defending anyone personally, I just absolutely hate that word! Anytime anyone says it to me in conversation I stop them and tell them to not use that word when they talk to me.
Same with the N word. My DBF is black and he never says it, but when he does (like while repeating a movie quote or song quote) I just stare at him and he apologizes.. seems odd... hahha

Those things are just disrespectful and you can't pick and choose who is allowed to say them. NO ONE should say either word. If it's considered bad for one person to say it, it's bad for EVERYONE to say it.

Oh and also, my DBF used to say the F gay word just like other people say it, but in the last 2.5 years since we've been together he has heard me rant about how much I hate it and he has stopped using it and also asks other people not to say it when they're talking to him.

Most people are just immature and ignorant and they need to hear from someone they respect that it's not okay to use those words.

 

[KingOfBass40]

That word, is in the top 3 words, that I absolutely won't say. I can't even say it when its written into scripts. I feel that if you don't have the respect, and etiquette to call someone by their name, ma'am, sir, or even dude. Then you don't get anytime, and I feel like breaking something (my phone knows this first hand as I have almost broken it on numerous occasions, after hearing people use that word). If your not going to be nice, then, please take a long walk off a medium sized pier.