Sounds like you have a grasp on things. Introspection is a good thing time to time. You look at yourself like a character in a book and evaluate what makes her tick, what is her Achilles' heal. If you want the story to go differently, you make a few adjustments to the character.
One of my mom's favorite sayings when I'd worry about something was "Don't borrow trouble." What happens in the future is the future. You just have to trust yourself on your ability to get through it.
I do a lot of organizing for myself (having a physical disability usually means you have to have a plan for doing pretty much everything) and for my family. The hardest times I have is when I'm trying to balance the line between attentive organizer and patient diplomat. People hate to be bossed around, especially men and other organizing women. I've shed more blood, sweat and tears dealing with my brothers and their wives to last a lifetime. It's so hard to make everyone around you happy, including you. Sometimes you have to just let it all go and let people learn from it.
One of my brothers is notorious for not committing to family engagements or backing out at the last minute. Drives me batty because I bend over backwards trying to include him. Then he gives me grief because he is left out. I do what I can control and force myself to be patient with him. One day, I'm hoping and praying he gets a clue and realize what he does to himself. In the end, you cannot control other people. All you can do is inform them of the facts and hope they come to the same conclusions as you.
There are issues in my life that make me unhappy and I do blame others for my unhappiness. Yet I find excuses for not making changes I know I should. Some of which are legit and others of which I think I'm just finding excuses.I need to be the change I want to see (to loosely paraphrase Ghandhi.)
Try not to blame others for your unhappiness. I've been on the receiving end of that enough to know how much it hurts. Find ways to make yourself happy then use them. There was a time I was waiting for my life to begin, putting all my hopes into some mythical knight-in-shining-armor to sweep me away from my problems. Then I grew up and realized the only person who could change my life was me. Yeah I have God as a guide, but I have to take proactive action.
There may be some people in your life who make you unhappy, but you solve that by mitigating their influence on you. I had one particular person who drove me nuts with her words and actions. When I realized she was making me so unhappy I was contemplating dying, I broke ties with her. I stayed away and kept things emotionally distant so I wasn't subjecting myself to her words anymore. Sometimes my unhappiness came from relying on an undependable or resentful person. So I changed things in a way that meant I didn't have to rely on that person. In each case, I had control of the situation all along. No one can make you unhappy without your permission.
