How do those of you with spectrum kids cope with homework?

[debbi801]

Can I first say I absolutely HATE homework?

DS is mainstreamed in 1st grade with a full time one-on-one. So, he is getting the same homework as an NT first grader. Thanks to his IEP, we have a lot of leeway as far as doing homework goes. I only need to spend 30 minutes doing it, if that means he gets 1 math problem doen, so be it. And if there is something really important that needs to get done, DS's teacher will mark it as highest priority for the night. I generally try to get a bit of everything done, which means we usually spend closer to an hour--between his spelling, math, reading, etc. There are also days where we just don't do it at all and the school is very understanding. (Between him having OT 2x a week, social skills training, and having 2 teenagers that need to go places, it just gets put aside some times.)

Sadly, the majority of the time is spent with me cajoling, yelling, me grinding my teeth, etc. While he holds the pencil into the light to watch the reflection, sees a bird fly by out of the corner of his eye, etc. I feel like I am living with Dory from Finding Nemo. We take lots of breaks, he does a heavy weight activity before hand, has had a snack, will even jump on the mini trampoline. I've tried everything. I even tried telling him he only had to work until the timer went off, but he gets stressed when things are timed, so that didn't work.

So, what works for you? I am open to any and all suggestions.

 

[bookwormde]

Even requiring 30 minutes a night for spectrum children is often too much. We have a what ever is practical and useful standard for our DS’s homework.

I actually do most of the “technical” homework in the morning when he is “fresh”. You might find it more effective to do more of one thing at a sitting, such as doing 3 days of math at once rather than having all the transitions.

I know it sounds “simple” but stating the logical reason for that particular studies and making if fun and as “visual” as possible also helps a lot.

I do not know if I am quoting this accurately but Attwood says that schools structural and sociological need to homework is incompatible with the nature of spectrum individuals.

bookwormde

 

[debbi801]

Even requiring 30 minutes a night for spectrum children is often too much. We have a what ever is practical and useful standard for our DS’s homework.

I actually do most of the “technical” homework in the morning when he is “fresh”. You might find it more effective to do more of one thing at a sitting, such as doing 3 days of math at once rather than having all the transitions.

I know it sounds “simple” but stating the logical reason for that particular studies and making if fun and as “visual” as possible also helps a lot.

I do not know if I am quoting this accurately but Attwood says that schools structural and sociological need to homework is incompatible with the nature of spectrum individuals.

bookwormde

He definitely does better with things more visual and when we can do it hands on. There are times when we'll practice his spelling words outloud while he is jumping on his mini trampoline instead of writing or we spell them on the dishwasher with magnetic letters. I know that he is learning how to spell and he's happy to not have to write.

Thank you for responding.

As an aside, he was recommended for ESY. We're sending him to camp instead. We figure the socializing he'll get there (not to mention learning to swim) is better for his well being than continuing with school over the summer.

Thanks again.
Debbi

 

[BeckyScott]

Oh, around here it's like torture.

Last night, for example, youngest DS had a math worksheet with 20 problems, but he'd already done about 6 of them at school. They were problems that I knew he knew how to do. But he didn't want to do them. There was screaming, there was crying, there was pouting, there was eczema-itching.

In the end, what it came down to, was I told him he had a choice. It was an hour before bedtime. He could spend the hour screaming and working on this one worksheet, or he could just get the thing done and he'd have time left to play before bed. It's the whole "choices" thing. Every time he'd try to melt down on me while he was working, I'd tell him it was 45 minutes til bedtime, or 42 minutes til bedtime, and he was wasting his play-time.

It's an ongoing problem for us, this homework thing. And of course it gets worse as the kid gets older, because there's more homework and it's harder.

 

[LuvsTinker]

Count me in on hating HW!

He wants to know what the dog is doing. He starts rubbing his finger tips together, he stares at the pencil. If I walk out the room for a minute and come back he's sneaking a snack out the pantry. (I give him something before we start)

His teacher tells me how well he does in math at school, yet trying to get him to do a ditto sheet at home is like pulling teeth!

HW is suppose to be limited to 30 minutes but he can't do most of the HW a night in 30 minutes with all the side tracking.

Then there is the UGH noises he makes and heavy sigh breathing like he's soooo bored.

 

[bookwormde]

For spelling/vocabulary my DS’s sp ed teacher came up with a program where she prints individual words with 3 or 4 similar sounds (usually 25-40) and he sorts them into phonetic categories, and then DS copies them to paper. Since then his spelling test have been in the 95-100 range.

Just remember that accumulated stress is damage for our children, so I always do a benefit/cost ration to everything thing we attempt. This generally entails eliminating all the socially based math that has been developed to make math “interesting” for “average” children

Good call on ESY, this is always contraindicated for children in different levels of the GE setting. They need the time to decompress and focus on social skills only.

bookwormde

 

[bouncycat]

OMG, I thought I was the only one with homework issues!! DS absolutely HATES homework, and it's a 2 hour fight just to get him to do 10 minutes of writing!!! DS is 4th grade, for the 2nd time, and is doing better this year, but just refuses homework! He's in a special ed class, and that helps with the school work, but not homework. I have to be RIGHT BY HIS SIDE to get him to do anything!! It's frustrating, and hopefully it'll get easier!

 

[1stluvispooh]

Homework the bane of my existence! With both kids DD 2nd grade ASD, DS 4th grade NT. All I have to say is DD seems to be on cycle of doing homework and not doing homework and well this week I think she is into doing it. Or at least the important parts, not rereading the same story for the 5trh time like her teacher wants her to do.

 

[MomOf2DisneyKids]

my ds has a lot of HW every night...and has more than my dd who is 2 years older! I never thought of getting something in the IEP about how much HW has to be done each night...that's a great idea.

 

[debbi801]

my ds has a lot of HW every night...and has more than my dd who is 2 years older! I never thought of getting something in the IEP about how much HW has to be done each night...that's a great idea.

Originally, we didn't have it in the IEP. It was just a verbal agreement between his teacher and I. Until the day that co-incidentally, both his one-on-one and the teacher were out and substitute teacher made him miss recess and sent a nasty note home because he didn't have it 100% complete. Now it is understood that we do what we can and I write a note on the stuff we didn't get around to completing. And, from her side, she marks anything that has a high priority.

 

[Schmeck]

Well, the thing is, there aren't many kids out there, on or off the spectrum, that want to do homework. So, it's not really a spectrum thing at all. I think parents make it a spectrum thing because it is more difficult to have success getting a child diagnosed on the spectrum to start and/or finish what can be considered 'busywork'.

What is the main goal of the assigned homework? Is it reinforcing subject matter in school? Is it introducing a new topic to be discussed in school the next day? Is it a matter of self-discipline, showing the process of doing something you don't want to do, and getting it done anyways? These are all valuable reasons for getting your child on the spectrum to do homework.

If the value of the homework is just to have a paper trail for future IEP meetings and testing portfolios, I wouldn't go to battle at home about it. I'd go to battle at school for more meaningful work to be sent home.

 

[BeckyScott]

At some point a while ago I posted about homework, I think maybe in the behavior challenge thread.

A big problem I have here is that DH isn't home in the evenings, so I am on my own with both kids, both of which need one-on-one to get their homework done. Oldest DS I'm starting to be able to let him take some things off by himself to finish, but not everything.

When you take what would normally be a half hour of homework for one kid, 45 minutes for the other, then at least double that 'cause of the "issues", and then have it be that only one can be working on homework at a time because they need supervision and I can't do both at once... what you end up with is a full evening. A really full evening. It also seems that the heavier homework nights are the same nights for both kids.

And it is soooo frustrating. A couple days ago oldest DS had math homework where he had to convert a fraction to a decimal to a percent. I had to talk him step-by-step thru every single one of them. Whereas *most people* after about the fourth problem would start to remember the process, this does not happen at our house. He gets frustrated and wants me to leave him alone, but as soon as I do, he skips steps and gets the whole thing completely wrong.

And slightly o/t, but a couple days ago he brought home coordinate grids!!! Is this typical 5th grade work? When did that happen? Am I that old? If he's doing those in 5th grade, what on Earth are they doing in high school? Uh, how am I gonna "supervise" homework, I certainly don't have a degree in math.

 

[Schmeck]

Yup, introducing grids is 5th grade - just an introduction of course, not full blast into line equations and algebra, I hope! If you need help explaining math, feel free to PM me - that's my favorite subject to tutor.

For example, the fraction, decimal, percent steps. Set up an example on a separate sheet of paper. Do each step in a different color, or assign each step a letter or number. Make a quick check-off grid at the bottom of that paper for your son to check off each step for each problem he has to do. If my scanner was working (or if we had a fax machine and you did too) I'd be able to set you up with all kinds of custom tools to help you out.

My experience - I work with 13 kids at a time, many who have the same issues that you have described.

 

[BeckyScott]

Schmeck, thanks for the offer.

I teach GED so I know math up to that level, I'm comfortable up to there but I personally haven't taken much more math than that. Which would be beginning/ basic sort of algebra, basic geometry, and we do touch on coordinate grid but not much more than what he's doing now. (this is really all I know about coordinate grids- horizontal first, vertical second) I have decided I might want to schmooze up some of my math teacher co-workers, I think I'm gonna need them later.

When I saw that worksheet, my first thought was that I wonder how many parents even know how to do that stuff. Whoa. Then last night a friend came over, and she is working on figuring out her son's schedule next year for his freshman year of high school, I was looking thru the course descriptions, and of course in high school now they are offering several different kinds of algebra, trig, calc, the whole bit. Am I gonna need to sit in on a college algebra class before this is all over?

 

[brettgirl]

Thanks for making me feel I am not alone! Homework is torture and I feel so bad for my son, in a typical 2nd grade with a TSS, all day in school and then 1.45 minutes of homework-no play time left! (even if it is just pacing up and down the hall)

 

[TDS373X]

I have no helpful hints just glad to have stumbled onto this thread. I thought it was only us. I am giving up on fighting the homework until after we come back from WDW because it has made home a very stressful place.