how do other kids treat your child?

[palpluto]

My son is 6 and in K. He has Down syndrome and had a stroke so his speech is very limited. He also has a lung disease so when he does talk it is kind of forced. The lung disease is causing heart failure so he uses a wheelchair for distance. I have always thought little kids were pretty accepting. He had one (very smart) kid who was bullying him at school, but that was the exception. For the most part I thought the kids liked him. He's friendly and cute and small, but can be immature like touching kids and not knowing when to stop, especially if someone laughs.
Anyway, we recently went somewhere with a couple kids 6yo and 7yo, who really wanted nothing to do with my son, did not even want to sit by him. He said he "yells". Someone after was talking about it as typical and it has made me very sad. I'm wondering if I have just been out of touch (wishful thinking) to think other kids will accept him and want to play with him. I did not think this would happen til middle school.
What have your experiences been?

 

[J'aime Paris]

I work in an elementary school with kids that have special needs, so I can tell
you what I observe.

In general, girls make good friends for special kids. We have many
"little moms" at our school. They enjoy helping, are patient and kind.
Boys really just don't seem to be able to relate to special kids. They are more immature at this age than girls, so it seems logical. Also, I believe that very few kids are outright mean or bullying of children with disabilities.
Again, these have been my experiences.

to you and your son!!

 

[bookwormde]

Much of the negative that you will see are from lack of knowledge and fear. A good anitbullying diversity program that includes neurodiversity yeilds amazing benefits.

bookwormde

 

[taylor3297]

I taught middle school for 17 years and middle school kids tended be more accepting of kids with disabilities. I noticed the odd/eccentric kids were the ones most likely to be picked on in middle school.

 

[Ka' eo]

I taught middle school for 17 years and middle school kids tended be more accepting of kids with disabilities. I noticed the odd/eccentric kids were the ones most likely to be picked on in middle school.

This would be my Aspie. He has no friends and I just got finished emailing the principal and guidance counselor about more instances. Kids ordering him around, telling him to shut up, calling him names and shunning him. He has no one to sit with at lunch.

This school has an anti bullying program and works hard to educate kids, but my son has been targeted alot. He does have an odd way of relating to people, and kids just don't like him. And they take things from him like his desserts, snacks, drinks and bakugan. He just gives them away when asked because he has a heart of gold.

I agree with your assessment. It seems as though kids with more obvious disabilities are less frequently the subject of bullying and taunting, at least in my experience working in education the past 15 years.

I hope your little guy has good support! I bet his personality is I love DS kids/people so much. Such happy, sweet people.

 

[dyna]

My dd now past 30 always had a speech impairment an was on the slow side in school kids would not be her friend wanted nothing to do with her....even worse my normal DD who was 18 months younger than her sis was shunned too because the kids did not like the older one they didn't like the younger either.

 

[sl_underwood]

My son does not have downs but he does have speech and hearing problems along with other issues that cause developmental delays. He is only 6 and has already been subjected to horrible bullying. His school does not care, they say he needs to be toughened up to live in the real world (apparently, as adults we taunt, shove, and destroy property of disabled people) I continually fight this. It breaks my heart when he tells me that he has no friends or no one likes him at school. Thankfully he has friends outside of school that are the best. He actually attends a homeschool group for socialization and acceptance. The kids in this group range from infant-highschoolers and not one person has ever treated him badly. He has several friends his own age who truly enjoy playing with him and miss him when he isnt there. It has really made all the difference in his social skills and his self esteem. I would suggest looking outside the school for socialization. I know most people think thats what school is for but it certainly didnt work for my son.

 

[deerhart]

It depends on the child, that child's personality and how the child was raised.

My youngest son (age 7) is really social and has no qualms befriending ANYONE. Instead of complaining that a child yells, he may ask about the child's disability but its not to be mean, more curious etc..

It helps that my youngest also has ADHD, spent preschool in an integrated classroom as a non-iep child, and has a brother who has multiple diagnosis and for a long time was the child that stood out as different (he still is to some degree but its no where near what it was like before).

Kids were mean to my oldest. We had boys in his kindy class tell us he was crazy and they didn't like him (and he's such a sweet kid but as his very emotional moments) and while my oldest will probably never have really close friends. He is satisfied with the relationships he does have (and THAT is the most important thing).

BTW my oldest connects very well to kids that are far more disabled then he is (my oldest doesn't even really know that he has many problems or that different then others). He wanted to volunteer for challenger baseball this summer or which we think is a great idea, but that he's not quite ready for it (still needs some of that emotional control when things don't go his way)

 

[clori]

my dd9 has alopecia areata and in kindergarten/1st grade was missing noticeable amounts of hair. On the playground after school there were older kids. I taught dd to say that I have alopecia which just means I'm missing hair but I'm not sick. Most of the kids would be like that's good lets go play. The looks/laughs etc came more from older kids who automatically wanted to make fun of the situation rather than ask questions to understand.

 

[kaffinito]

Some kids make fun of DS17 in school, but thank god he doesn't seem to notice it much! More of his problems seem to happen whenever he's outside school doing normal things like shopping or going to WDW. Those places it's more noticeable that he's "different"

He has ASD and is BPD with a little ADHD thrown in. He functions at the level of an 11 year old emotionally, so he kind of sticks out in public.

Youngest DS doesn't get teased as often. He's a really strange kid, but other kids seem to like him and want to befriend him. He's considered "cool" His ASD also isn't as noticeable than his older brothers. Youngest DS was in special ed classes but has now been mainstreamed, but I've made sure that oldest DS is around kids like him so he doesn't have as many social problems with them in school.

Best of luck to you - and hang in there!