How do I tell my husband?

[Cindyluwho]

This has been bothering me for some time and I've tried to bring it up to my husband before but this morning was just too much! When he came upstairs from waking up our DD11 he tells me that she raised her head, bumped his face and gave him a fat lip. Now, my husband has a tendency to be a major drama guy when he is "injured" so the first words I say are, "you didn't make a major thing out of it and make her feel bad did you?". He was so **! "Don't you even care how my lip is? Of course I yelled in pain, She knocked me against the wall!" puhleese!! There's no blood, no swelling, I mean come on she's not Jessie Ventura trying to knock you out, she just raised her head and smacked you. Ouch, I know, but honestly.
Now, for some background. My husband is a wonderul, generous, funny man. I love him with all my heart but this "I've stubbed my toe and I'm dying" thing is too much. And when it involved DD I feel that it's hurtful to her when it's her fault and he makes such a big deal. they'll be wrestling or playing and she'll bump him, I'm sure it hurts a bit, but he makes a huge deal, yelling about how bad he's hurt. It's not just when he's playing, he can be out fishing and bump his leg. It's like the end of the world. BTW - I've seen him hurt himself when nobody is looking and there's not over the top behavior, he just goes about his business. And yes, all of our friends have witnessed it and it does embarrass me terribly. Does that make me selfish or uncaring? I've seen him writhe on the floor holding his foot, screaming in pain because of a stubbed/broken toe. Let's face it folks, we've all broken a toe in our life by stubbing it, it HURTS. But don't you just say $%^# a few times, do your best to get it into a shoe and go about your day.

Am I just a Monday Morning female dog word or is this behavior as annoying as I think it is?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Sorry, but if I had been popped in the lip by someone (my kid or not) and my husband's first words were "you didn't make her feel bad about it did you?" I would probably answer something like, "No I didn't, and since you didn't ask, I'm fine."

It does sound like he is a bit overdramatic, but I would have been miffed at your comment too.

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

I would be embarrassed too. I don't think you're a Monday morning dog word, I think he's over the top, especially if he only does it when he has an "audience" so to speak. I don't know how to approach him about it though, so I'll just wish you luck!

 

[Tuffcookie]

I think I would have at least said, "Poor, baby"!

TC

 

[TEENEE]

I feel your pain. I was married to one of those big babies too. He would moan and groan about every little ache and pain. I swear he would cry over a hang nail. I don't have any advice just sympathy for you. It's like living with the boy who cried wolf.

 

[Colleen456]

Just curious, why was he that close to DD that lifting her head caused her to knock him into a wall?

I can understand why she didn't "poor baby him" come on, he's a drama king and she's probably been there done that one too many times. Buy him the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" book then have a discussion about it.

 

[Arielle22]

Maybe your dh has a low pain tolerance? I have a pretty high tolerance so I have a hard time understanding when people have a minor injury and complain a lot.

However I think after you and dh calm down you should discuss the situation. If it was me I would say "Honey, I noticed when you hurt yourself you can't seem to control your pain." I'd go on to express your concern that it needlessly hurts your dd's feelings. Perhaps you could work out a plan that allows him to vent his pain but in a private setting. (I will walk into another room to swear when I stub my toe or bang my leg). If it as bad as you say, you could also point out that it might be affecting the way others view him. Think of it this way, if he chewed with his mouth open in front of friends you would say something right? This is the same type of situation.

I'm surprised none of his friends have addressed it with him. If dh did that in front of his friends he would be called a wuss and told to suck it up.

I do feel for you, my dh is a drama queen but not about injuries, things like items not being picked up set him off. (I do tell him to put on his big boy undies and deal with it).

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Just curious, why was he that close to DD that lifting her head caused her to knock him into a wall?

I can understand why she didn't "poor baby him" come on, he's a drama king and she's probably been there done that one too many times. Buy him the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" book then have a discussion about it.

He was probably trying to gently wake her up by talking softly next to her ear - my dh does that with my dd. As for him - I'd be annoyed too! What a drama king! Tell him to man up and quit being a sissy la la.

 

[Nancy]

If my Dh gets a leg cramp during the night he jumps out of bed so fast and screams and complians that the first time it happened I thought someone was attacking him, I was terrified until I realized what was happening. Now I get leg cramps all the time and he doesn't even know it, I get up quietly and limp to the bathroom to try and work it out.

I feel your pain (no pun intended)

 

[golfgal]

If it were me I would treat him like the 2 year old child he is acting like, sit him down, talk to him in baby talk and see if "mommy can kiss it an make it better". What a baby, sorry. I wouldn't put up with that either.

 

[Colleen456]

He was probably trying to gently wake her up by talking softly next to her ear - my dh does that with my dd. As for him - I'd be annoyed too! What a drama king! Tell him to man up and quit being a sissy la la.

LOL, I come from a family of people who wake up swinging (startled responses) and I never get that close to anyone I'm waking up! That's why it seemed odd to me.

I'm sure my son would love it if I woke him up that nicely...but its not going to happen...I've seen him thrash around too much while sleeping!!

Love the Big Boy Undies comment...classic!

 

[Puffy2]

If you ask me, his reaction is a typical male reaction and I wouldn't make too much out of it.

In addition, however, I think it's important that your daughter understand that when she hurts someone, even accidentally, she should express concern over it and say she is sorry. Which, she probably did.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Think of it this way, if he chewed with his mouth open in front of friends you would say something right? This is the same type of situation.

I'm surprised none of his friends have addressed it with him. If dh did that in front of his friends he would be called a wuss and told to suck it up.

OMG!! I've tried to bring that up to! Before we go out to dinner as a family I have to make sure I mention "minding your manners" because he has a habit of talking with his mouth full. OMG I've been married for 15 1/2 years and I love my man but he's got 3 bad habits that annoy me to no end. At this point I'm seriously considering counseling just so I can learn to deal with it. His other offense is the worst to me. When someone asks a question, like "oh, what a cool classic car" - he'll immediately jump in and tell them what year, what kind of car, what size engine, etc. EVEN IF HE HAS NO IDEA *** HE'S TALKING ABOUT!! It can be about fishing, business, whatever. When he gets called on it, he says he was just joking around, making it up, seeing if they knew what kind it was, etc. My husband is not an uneducated man, he's very very successful in his business and he's well liked by his peers but we have very few close friends because he is a mannerless, know it all. Oh God you guys this is really starting to weigh on me. I feel like a big baby today. Thanks so much for letting me vent.

One more thing, we do wake up our DD by whispering in her ear, or even singing to her, she's still at an age where she enjoys being babied sometimes. It won't be too long before she'll want no part of it so we're enjoying it while we can.

 

[ElizaB39]

Buy him one of those boo boo bunny washcloth things that you put an ice cube in and wrap it up and give it to him for an early bday present.

 

[ElizaB39]

You could also overreact to his overreaction by going on and on about it. Finally, ask if he needs to go to the emergency room!

 

[Colleen456]

One more thing, we do wake up our DD by whispering in her ear, or even singing to her, she's still at an age where she enjoys being babied sometimes. It won't be too long before she'll want no part of it so we're enjoying it while we can.

That really is sweet! Go get him a football helmet for tomorrow morning

My DS is hard to get out of bed so I send the dog upstairs to do it, lol. He hears her coming and hides under the covers so she can't lick him...gross but effective! We'll send her in there to "get him" 2 or 3 times then he's up. Takes much less time this way and the dog loves it.

I really hope that you can find a way to deal with this...sounds like DH doesn't want to change who he is or what he does. Maybe if he see's how he's acting it might help him realize that its just not normal...do you have a camcorder you can get out to tape him? Silly but it has worked with our DS7

 

[SleepyMom]

Quote from Arielle22:If it as bad as you say, you could also point out that it might be affecting the way others view him.

Along these lines I would also point out to him how this could affect your DD's, does he want them to imitate him and overeact in the same ways that he does? Each time he does that in front of them, they are learning that is how to act.

It's not going to be an easy conversation to have with him, but hopefully he can see how it might affect his girls and want to change. Good luck.

 

[lulugirl]

OP.....I feel your pain. Dh is a HUGE drama queen, sometimes I seriously feel like I could strangle him.
My standard reply to his whining about whatever ails him is "yea, yea I know what pain is honey, remember I gave birth twice?"

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Sorry I have no tolerance for men like that.

I just can't deal with my DH when he's sick or has a headache and the world has to stop. Over the course of the 15 years we've been married he has learned, don't come to me unless you're dying. I care for my children, baby and hold them when they are sick , but they are CHILDREN!

If he really doesn't feel good and I won't wait on him, he'll sometimes say, I feel bad for your patients (I'm an RN). But I care for them just fine. But I think thats one of the reasons I have no tolerance for him when he acts like a freakin' baby. I see "real" sick people. Deal with it.

Your DH is a grown man and it seems he whines more than my 2 year old. Do you make a big deal of it when he gets hurt? What if you just ignore him? Or tell him , knock it off. Sorry if I sound harsh, but come on.

 

[ckay87]

Oh I am so with you on this. My DH doesn't get a cold...he gets a "sinus infection." He doesn't get a bump on the head...he get "a concussion." Every little thing that's wrong with him ever, we all have to hear about. Over and over and over....

And it is funny and I guess it is typical - but it also scares me...a lot. Seriously, what about when we ARE old and less-than-healthy. I don't think I'll be able to handle him...I really don't.