How do I do this? How do you?

[Sonya]

I get 10 "sick" days off a school year. Dh gets 5 by the time he takes vacation. (he helps me at Christmas and if there is anything left over we might go somewhere) We have 3 kids.

Already this year I have used 5 days. Dh has no more until Christmas. Last school year I went over by 5 days. This is all my school allows.

How the heck do I manage to take care of my sick kids and keep my job? I have help from my mom and sometimes my in-laws (another story) but with 3 kids it is so hard. And I really do try and keep them home and not send them when they are sick. But I'm about to do the Motrin trick. What else can I do?

 

[Poohlovr]

Not much help. but we work alternating shifts.

What I wanted to ask, tho, is if any of your kids have chronic illnesses that cause them to miss, like asthma?
If so, you can get a FMLA, so that any days off used for that child and that illness can't be counted against you.

 

[Sonya]

No chronic illnesses but my DS is in 1st grade and brings home everything and the twins catch what he has.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Are you in danger of losing your job if you call in and go over your allotted time?

Is there a way to appeal/prove that you need to be with your child because they are sick?

I guess I am asking will they take that into consideration?

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Can you use vacation days when the kids are sick?
That's what I did for years as our sick days were only when YOU were sick, not a family member.
Granted I did it call in a few days but I took a gook weeks vacation as days needed to be taken for the kids.

 

[Sonya]

I have no idea what would happen if I went over the 5 days unpaid. But if I am an employee who has a history of taking lots of days off that can't be good. (especially if I ever look for another job)

As for them being understanding that it is my kids, so far they have been. But I can also see them saying that other people with kids get by, why can't I?

 

[Christine]

Back when my kids were little (and sick all the time), I carried a zero balance on leave! I don't know how your leave works, but much of my "vacation" time was used for sickness versus actual vacation. Christmas vacation? HA!! It didn't exist in my world.

So, how did I do it. I spent my sick time and most of my vacation time taking care of sick kids and sick ME! I didn't have much vacation back then.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have no idea what would happen if I went over the 5 days unpaid. But if I am an employee who has a history of taking lots of days off that can't be good. (especially if I ever look for another job)

As for them being understanding that it is my kids, so far they have been. But I can also see them saying that other people with kids get by, why can't I?

Ah, so you are stressing over it. I thought they were threatening to fire you or something!

I think you are going to just call in when your kids are sick, provide proof to your school if they give you grief and deal with it then.

This yr is tough and lots of people are sick passing around to each other. Have to roll with it.....

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Back when my kids were little (and sick all the time), I carried a zero balance on leave! I don't know how your leave works, but much of my "vacation" time was used for sickness versus actual vacation. Christmas vacation? HA!! It didn't exist in my world.

So, how did I do it. I spent my sick time and most of my vacation time taking care of sick kids and sick ME! I didn't have much vacation back then.

Thanks Christine, you explained it much better then I could.
Thankfully I had 4 weeks vacation because half of that was for sickness, school, sick babysitter, etc.

 

[Sonya]

I don't have seperate sick and vacation time. I get 10 days off a school year. My vacation is summer break and that doesn't help now!

Yeah, I am stressing. I feel it is bad when I have used half my sick days before the year is half over. If the flu were to go through our house .... Well that is why we get the shot.

 

[Sonya]

Anyone have any more ideas or experience?

 

[HeatherH]

If you're really stuck and worried about how this is affecting your job, there are services that provide day care for sick kids in your area. Here is one I found:

http://www.excelcareservices.com/sick.asp

I hope it would never come to that and if you were really in a bind that your mother and MIL would step up to help even more.

I had neither a mother or MIL around when my daughter was that age, and we just alternated as the parent who stayed home when she was sick. It's hard, I know.

 

[golfgal]

Check with your district. I know in our state they have asked employers to ease up on their sick leave policies because of the flu this year. Maybe your school has done the same???

As for how do you handle it, find someone that can watch the kids when your sick leave runs out??

DH is just going to have to not take his vacation time for vacation time until the kids get older, sorry, probably not what you want to hear. That is what happens when both parents work unfortunately.

 

[Buckalew11]

Just wanted to say "hi" Sonya!!

This past year has been so terrible here for illnesses of all kinds. I'm thinking workplaces are going to have to somehow be understanding with people through all this.

Best wishes that your family stays healthy, my friend!

 

[Tinijocaro]

Not much help. but we work alternating shifts.

What I wanted to ask, tho, is if any of your kids have chronic illnesses that cause them to miss, like asthma?
If so, you can get a FMLA, so that any days off used for that child and that illness can't be counted against you.

Please tell me more about this-I have a child with asthma and am a teacher who has had to take off two weeks in two years since dd was in the hospital both times.

 

[dicar123]

If you are concerned, maybe talk to your Principal? In general, I think people try not to be jerks.

I would go to him/her and explain that your kids have been sick (hasn't everyone!?) and you're concerned that you may run out of sick time by the end of the year. Ask what will happen if you go over 5 unpaid days. Reassure him/her that you're trying to find a better solution but that you're kind of limited.

At least then you might know the bottom line.

By the way, as a SAHM, I wouldn't have minded a friend or neighbor asking me to help out in this kind of situation. Everyone needs a little help every now and again.

 

[daisyduck123]

But I'm about to do the Motrin trick.

That is just plain wrong. I know you may end up in a bind, but laying your problem on the other students and your child's teacher is just plain wrong. No other way to put that.

If your child has a fever, I can't believe you would willingly consider doing that. I'm sorry you're in that situation, but you need to find a different alternative. Aren't there any "sick-child daycares" in your area? Maybe ask a neighbor to help?

 

[Kteacher]

When my kids were little I would go through almost all my sick time every year as well ( a little off topic, but 10 sick days a year for a teacher is not enough, something for your negotiating team to look at next contract! ). If your kids are chronically sick, check with HR-usually they are pretty understanding of these things. Good luck

 

[PatsGirl]

Myself and most of my friends have chosen jobs that coordinate with our spouses or SOs so that while there is some overlap, most of the shifts are opposite each other. The original plan was to save on daycare and to be home with the kids during the day at least until they started school.

I took a purchasing position that allowed me to make my own hours and so I worked nights and weekends. Another friend gave up her career and waitressed until her kids went into middle school. It can be done, but there are sacrifices, both financially and otherwise.

Personally, I think it was the best decision I ever made. DD had five operations in as many years and was sick constantly with ear infections. Had I stayed in the career path I was in, I too would have been stuck many days.

Good luck. I'm very anxious about what is going to happen when H1N1 hits here. We were told yesterday that we would be mandated to stay at work if shifts could not be covered. This is okay for me, but the poor mothers who have small children are going to have quite a problem with it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I just wanted to say Sonya, it will all work out for you. Don't stress too much now. Stress out when it actually happens.