How do DVC'ers with older kids feel when "their teens" can't make a trip?

[edk35]

Our daugther is in college now and her schedule does not match in any form or fashion our high school son's schedule or our 5th grader's. She gets off like 5 weeks over Christmas and they get 7 school days off. The schools here have off two days the end of Jan. to go with a weekend and we have been able to take 4 Jan. trips the past few years...... well she has to be back before that time frame now that she is in college. So she would not be going if we went in Jan.

I have always wanted to go to the MNSSHP but our older two kids schedules have always been a problem with their sports/dance/school schedules and all. Now that she is freshman in college and he is in 10th grade.....the month of Oct. wil never work for them. So I am just sucking it up and we are planning on taking our son to the party next Oct. when he gets a three day weekend mid Oct. My older son is FINE with missing it. He is actually burned out on Disney right now he says anyway. However our dd loves WDW.

Well....now I am sorta wanting to go this Jan. again for 5 nights and it will be just us three if we go. I feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It makes me NOT want to go for 6 nights like we usually do and now I am even thinking cutting it to 4 if we do go. IT IS THE GUILT of them not going and then it is the worrying about them being in MD and us in FL that is making me 2nd guess everything. My son would stay with friends (we have no family in this area) and our dd would be at college but still in MD.

What did you feel like when you make that first trip without them? I know people go without their kids to WDW and take couples only but I just don't see that any time soon with our 10 year old. I would feel horrible to leave him back. Please don't flame me about that please. I didn't post this for that to happen.

 

[dis-happy]

Don't feel bad, we've been twisting our schedules around and around ever since our dd (the oldest) started college. She's a junior this year, and between her class schedule and summer internships, etc. it's pretty much become impossible to plan a trip with her. I may be able to do a mid-to-late-August whole family trip next year, but even then I won't be getting her an AP. She was kind of annoyed with us going without her at first, but she's getting over it. Really, after awhile, there's nothing you can do. We even homeschool the other ones but it still isn't possible to get away during her breaks (at least not this upcoming year due to my next oldest taking outside classes in Honors Alg. 2 and Chemistry).

OTOH, the situation now makes me so very glad we had our DVC and took lots of trips in the previous years. We'll always cherish those family times together. They do indeed grow up too fast!!

 

[sskem96]

If it were me I think I'd go during dd's spring break week and take the other 2 out of school, or go the first week that they're all out of school in May or June.

Yes, we've done trips without the kids and love that time together, but when it's supposed to be a family trip, it wouldn't feel right to leave someone behind. I don't like the kids to miss school or their other activities like cheerleading, gymnastics, dance, softball, etc, but it's so difficult to coordinate everyone's schedules that some of us do have to miss things in order to have a week away together. This year we're going over Thanksgiving so we'll be gone a week but the kids will only miss 3 days of school. We do what we can to minimize the impact that being gone a week will have at home, but if we weren't willing to miss out on some of those things we'd never be able to take a vacation together.

 

[Disney Princess]

I don't have college aged kids, but I was one once. My parents owned DVC while we were growing up, and our schedules got crazy for a while. We all had Christmas off at the same time, and usually we had some summer time, but fall and spring breaks were never together. My parents actually took multiple trips. My mom went with my sister for HER spring break, and then she and dad went with me and my brother for ours. Tough life right?

If you have the points or could stretch them (4 nights for two trips instead of one 8-night trip), you could do a trip with just one or two kids. This way, everyone can go during their time off, and poor you would have to go multiple times. Kids usually do understand, and especially if you say, "you get to go in January while Bobby doesn't", it is easier to swallow. I also took a trip with just my mom when I graduated high school. I love my entire family, but the one-on-one was nice.

Good luck!

 

[look1angel]

I was at Disneyland for the first time with my girlfriend out in CA I'd not seen in 20 yrs. I got part way down the Main St & began to cry, It was the first trip to Disney without my kids. I had gotten divorced 8 months earlier & seeing all the families kind of hit home.
My oldest is now married & does her thing, son was not really as into Disney as his sisters & my youngest has promised to go to Disney with my for as long as she can so this eases the pain a bit.

I wish I could still take all of them but times have changed

I have vowed to take the grandchildren once they come along even if it means having to leave their parents at home

 

[Grumpygrandpa]

I have vowed to take the grandchildren once they come along even if it means having to leave their parents at home

Taking the grandkids is way more fun than taking the kids ever was!!!! You have something magical to look forward to.

 

[edk35]

Well taking the 10th grader out for a week when my dd has spring break ....IS NOT an option. He would flip out. He takes way too many hard honors's/ AP classes. My dd did the same and when they missed 1 or 2 days it was hard when you take 3 AP classes in a year and everything else is honor's. Even my elementary age son.....does not like to do the makeup work. So we have a 1 or 2 day limit and even then we try and do it so it is an early dismissal day they are missing.

Another stage of life............oh the growing pains hurt when your kiddos grow up.

 

[Sammie]

Just as you will have to bend when they marry and have kids, you just start bending.

Our extended family has had to adjust many times to fit school schedules, college, marriages etc.

You might have to take a Mom and daughter trip during that time she is off, it might be hard to find a time when everyone can go.

 

[katmittens]

We have been trying to accomadate everyone for the last seven years since our first son went to college. Before college we went in Oct. or Jan and the kids missed school, with no problems. When DS started college we went in the first week of Jan or at Xmas or in the summer. DD started college and DS was in law school and we hit it lucky two years with the same spring break. Now DS is an attorney with a job and DD is in her senior year of college, so it will be the first week of Jan and DS is taking a week of vacation.
The first year of college we went in Oct like we normally did with DH, Me and DD and DD's best friend. DS never let us live it down . We had to go again in Jan to make up for that one. Just keep trying and ajusting your schedules. Luckily my DH is able to take vacation usually when he wants, and I was able to also when the kids were in college. I'm not retired due to health reasons, so I can pick up and go whenever. Good luck.

 

[edk35]

Thanks for the suggestions. She knows we have planned that OCT. trip and is pretty sure there is no way she can go so she seems okay "now" with it but that is a long way off. My older son is completely fine with missing Jan. We thought she might go for Thursday, Friday, Sat. of the Jan. trip (if we do it) and fly back on Sunday but now there is a chance she might be going to a conference the weekend before in PA anyway. We have been Thanksgiving week 4 times because the kids are off a week but she only has Thursday and Friday off with the weekend. We like to go to the Friday before Thanksgiving and get the heck out of dodge the Friday after Thanksgiving. She doesn't get a fall break in Oct. like some colleges get.

I guess we might have to split trips up like people suggested. I know she gets out mid May and I would love to take youngest son to Star Wars weekend so that might be an option for a quick trip that she could go on. We have done summer trips the past 3 years but even that gets hard with her and our older son's schedules because he plays high school soccer and will go to two camps and play high school summer soccer league. SO....we are planning on going to HHI for 5 or 6 days the end of July. Hopefully she can get off ....she plans on having a summer job.

So my advice to all those with younger kids................GO GO GO GO often because as they approach middle school and especially high school.....it gets harder and harder.

 

[brenalexacamp]

Go! I got an offer to go with my friend and her family and my dh told me to go-he had to work and 2 of my kiddos had school, they could not get out of. middle and high---I took my ds that has down's(he LOVES it) and it was his burthday. i got to spend the most wonderful week with him ALONE and just gush all over him! Without my other kids getting jealous or having to wait for him to catch up. It was awseome. Go- you will love the one on one time with a child. You will learn so much more about their personality.
I have to say my older ds could care and my dd went about 8 months earlier-

When we go in Feb, it's me my sister, and ds.
My college age niece cannot go and she is not bummed, my sister is kind of.
You'll go back.

 

[garnet1240]

We have been going every year since my youngest DD was 7. She is now 18 and a freshman in college. We have two DDs. We could always manage around both their school schedules. I have never gone without them both ...until this year. We have taken a couple of girls trips when my hubby couldn't make it, but always together.

We weren't going to go this year due to a family illness and DD starting college. F & W has always been our favorite time of year, and we started talking about how we will miss it this year. One thing lead to another (and thank goodness, the health issue has been stable for now) and now my oldest DD and I are going for the last week of F &W.

My youngest at first was disappointed at the idea of not going, but then was quick to tell us go have a good time....because she can't go this time should'nt hold us from going. After all, we have DVC, and she can go anytime (smart girl..hmmm is she thinking spring break trip with her friends?)

I guess my point is it's just another part of the changes we go through as our kids grow up...I think it's much harder on us than them.

Have a great trip!

 

[dgaston]

And it gets even harder when they're through college to get them all together. One of the most special things about our Family Extravaganza trip in September is that I got to eat several meals with ALL three of my 20 something kids. The oldest two work retail, and I hadn't had them in the same room since 1 hour at Christmas!

DD (now 26) and I did a January trip after she finished college one Dec (officially graduated in May). Youngest DS has come on many trips with just DH and I. Oldest DS surprised us by coming down on his own from college when we were spending a Feb vacation at Ft Wilderness (scared the bejesus out of me when he arrived after we'd gone to bed! )

It's just different kinds of memories. And I am looking forward to grandchildren, but no one seems to be producing any!

 

[Pakey]

Now that ours are out on their own, it's even harder. We've done 3 trips where we have taken all of them, their wives,fiancees, etc. My husband and I have sworn we are not doing that anymore; from now on we are taking one at a time.

Actually, my husband and I find that our alone trips are now the best ones of all.

 

[Coach81]

Thankfully we will not have to deal with this for quite some time.. but I imagine we will try our best to accomidate our kids..to a point.

If we can be together that will be great.. if not... we'll survive..

Have a great time!

 

[FindTheMickeys]

My kids are 7 years apart. The youngest is 21 and has gone every trip since I purchased DVC except one (he had just started a new job and couldn't get the time off). The oldest is 28 and has 2 kiddos. She and the boys (my grandsons) went with me in 2006 when the baby was 6 months and his brother was 3. I vowed that the boys would return with Grandma when the youngest turned 6 and not before. No one enjoyed that trip except my 28 year old who got a free vacation with a free babysitter (me). The youngest grandson will be 6 in December of 2011 so they will return to the land of the mouse with Grandma in the fall of 2012. The jury is still out as to whether their mother is coming along (but probably). I told her she can come if she behaves If my son wants to come along on that trip, I'm always open to more travelers. The difference is that as a single parent, I pay for the room (with my DVC points) and they have to get themselves down there and back and feed themselves.
That said, I have to say that taking trips with just my friends and no kids or grandkids has its distinct advantages.
It means no worries
For the rest of your days.
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata

 

[wildernessDad]

Great! Oh wait, my youngest is 24.

 

[edk35]

Thanks for the replies everyone......I know this is just another step on the road we call "life" and it will probably all work out just fine but right now the road is curvy and bumpy.

 

[photobob]

When my son was a senior in high school he chose not to go with us and while I missed him, it didn't interfere with us having a good time. We went four years without him (we also have a daughter about six years younger) and those years we always traveled with friends so it wasn't just me, DW and DD. We took him and now DIL in June of 2008 and the five of us stayed in a 2 bdr at BW and we had such a great time! When he is around I act more like his age than mine, we play in the pool, go play putt putt and really have fun together. I didn't realize how much I had missed him going with us. I'm not one to pine for days of old, I really enjoy each new phase of life, my daughter is now in 11th grade and is less than two years away from going to college. When that day arrives, I look forward to going to WDW with just my wife and experiencing the ability of traveling when a school break isn't necessary. I hope to be able to take everyone again to stay in a 2 BDR with us but with so many schedules it'll be harder and harder to work out.

 

[bunny]

We have been Thanksgiving week 4 times because the kids are off a week but she only has Thursday and Friday off with the weekend. We like to go to the Friday before Thanksgiving and get the heck out of dodge the Friday after Thanksgiving.

How were the crowds Thanksgiving week? We just got back from a Disney cruise and my oldest son who is in 5th grade unfortunately missed a whole week of school. He told me last night he never wants to do that again. He has so much make-up work. So I was thinking about Thanksgiving, since his school is off Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Monday. But I am afraid of the crowds. I was thinking we could do most of the park stuff at the beginning of the week, relax over the holiday and finish up with a couple park days on Sunday and Monday. Thanks for your input.