How do 2 working parents handle kids sports schedules?

[HeatherC]

Just got my 12 yr old son's little league schedule for the season and am already overwhelmed. Still waiting on my 2 daughters soccer schedules as well as basketball one night a week for my oldest daughter.

Was writing everything on the calendar and realized all the practices and most of the games are mid-late afternoon. I'm talking 3 or 4pm.

I'm a SAHM and already have a few conflicts and it got me wondering how in the world do two working families handle the kids sports schedules? I'm already complaining and the season really hasn't even started yet!

Hats off to all of you that work....because I would be a major stress case. (I sub at the schools when I can, but am home otherwise.) I don't know how you do it and salute you!

I'm already looking forward to June when school gets out!!

 

[apnep]

I'm a SAHM and already have a few conflicts and it got me wondering how in the world do two working families handle the kids sports schedules?

Hats off to all of you that work....because I would be a major stress case. (I sub at the schools when I can, but am home otherwise.) I don't know how you do it and salute you!

Yea, whenever my DH emails me job opportunities, this is my excuse to continue to stay home!

I don't know how working parents do it either. I get crossed eyed trying to think about the "what ifs" of working a full time job again when I see all the activities my kids are in now.

Ang

 

[HeatherC]

oops! Thought this was the Community Board.

Mods: Feel free to move.

Sorry!

 

[edk35]

Okay...... it can be done, but put it this way my thirties/early forties were a BLUR. Our dd is now 19 and in college. She danced 5 to 6 nights a week in middle and high school.....in elementary it was not that bad. Our oldest son is 16 and now plays high school sports (which helps some because he just stays atfter school for pratices) and our youngest is 11. I was never HOME from 4 to 8 during the weekdays. IT was just pure insanity. Older son played travel baseball for years and years and then he also played travel soccer as he got older. Our youngest son started getting into sports of course so that added more to our schedule. I started working part-time part-time (I called it) when our youngest was in preschool.....but I substitute teach so I am home by 3:15/3:30 that helped. However...we ate quickie dinners and we ate out a lot. It was not unusual for us to have 5 baseball games a week between the two boys when they were playing baseball and then add the dance in with that. A lot fell on me because my husband could only.... MAYBE pick up from an acitivity because of his schedule and HE TRAVELED A LOT back then. So it was CRAZY. I work more now but back then...I only worked a bit each week.

I think people that work into the evening have to work carpools out for their kids probably as far as getting them to practices. When you have more than one child and they are all doing one sport/activity that is 3 things a week and we all know that just one activity/sport per kid is a lot with games/practices/rehearsals/classes so multiply that by 2,3 or 4 kids and it is A LOT. Our youngest son spent so much time in his carseat/booster when he was little. We were always on the road it seemed. Looking back YES IT WAS CRAZY...but they always loved their activities, were very passionate about their sports/dance so we went with the flow. Our dd is still dancing in college, son plays high school sports/club soccer/indoor soccer (pretty much soccer year round) and youngest continues to play travel soccer and indoor in the winter. SO THIS TOO SHALL PASS and then I will be when they are all out of the house.

I too salute all working parents who have all of this to deal with each week. I have only worked part-time since having our kids and that was enough with their schedules. It was stressful.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

One of my old co-workers changed her work schedule. She was able to because her job was mostly faxing, computer work and phone calls. She could do the phone calls and computer work from home if something urgent came up.

She started work at 7am and left at 3pm and put her 2 15 minute breaks together so she could have 30 minutes to eat lunch. She would get home about 4pm, just in time to take her kids to practices. That enabled her 2 kids to do soccer and football.

I don't know if she is still able to do that with all the changes in the ecomony.

I work at home helping DH with his part time internet business and that's how my kids get to do after school activities. If I was still working full time, they wouldn't be able to do them.

 

[RunDanceSkate]

Carpool. The stay at home mums drive the kids to the activities and the work out of home mums pick up. For morning activities it is the reverse, working parents drive, SAHM pick up and take to school.

Now that mine are older they bus quite often. My normal day has me dropping DS16 off at the rink, he buses to school, at the end of the day if their activity is on the home side of town they carpool, and I pick up. If their activity is on my work/school side of town, they bus to me and I drive them to their activity, on a break, or at the end of the day. Typically I leave home at 5:30am, and am done for the night at 9:45pm. On a good day I get to come home in between.

DH drives when he is in town, but that has not happened except for an occasional weekend, since Christmas.

Only 6 more months and DS has his full drivers license.

Cindy

 

[AndreaDM]

My husband and I both work full time (him 50-60 hours a week) and I have a commute of almost an hour each way. Honestly, what we did was cut back on activities. We now only have one at home (2 in college) but she does ONE activity at a time, partly for our sanity and partly so she can concentrate on one thing she really likes instead of being in a bunch of things half-a$$ed. She is in spring soccer and we are lucky her games are on Sat. and she has only one practice during the week after school. DH either leaves work and picks her up or she gets a ride with another family that lives close to us. No question about it, it's TOUGH, but I was a single working mother when the 2 older girls were her age and they were always on different teams, so I figure if I made that work, I can handle this too!

We also got lucky in that our younger daughter loves being at home and playing outside, etc. Like another friend said, she doesn't want to stop playing to go somewhere else to do more organized play. Add to that, we are rather selfish with the little time we DO have off of work and like to spend that at home in our backyard instead of at games every night and all weekend. That just works well for us.

 

[lovesmurfs]

You've got to be creative. Often I go to one and DH goes to another. We're blessed in that the ballfield is only 2 blocks from our house, so for practices, it was often a call home to tell DS to leave for practice.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. And a bat bag which contains everything for the practice (bat, cap, cleats, batting helmet, glove), so that there's no last minute "panicked stuff gathering".

 

[drcmk]

DH and I both work, although we are self-employed and our schedules are mostly flexible. But we still limit how many activities our children can participate in. We are blessed with children that are not interested in sports. So many sports teams take up hours and hours of time each week. I doubt that I would allow that. We do scouts, some after school clubs and some free programs at our library, plus a fair amount of driving kids to play dates and birthday parties. There are absolutely times when I decide that we will skip all activities on a weekend day so that we can just all be home together. There are also times when I decide that enough of our weeknights are full so we can't add anything else this week.

 

[design_mom]

I am wondering the same thing.

DH and I both work in normal office jobs and our kids are 9 and 5. We have made decisions about which activities the kids can participate in based on what the practice requirements are. (And have said "no" to several.) Our weekends are crazy.

DS is into hockey and until last season the schedule has worked out pretty well (early mornings sometimes, but... ) This season, he joined a tournament team and those practices were all over the board. Sometimes DH and I had to take off work to get him to practice or a game. We are both lucky that our managers have been willing to be flexible, but I'm not sure they would be if it were a regular occurrence... and I fear it's only going to get worse! (I also worry that DD will find something she "loves" that will involve similar commitments. Right now, she doesn't have a lot of activities by her own choice.)

I find it frustrating that so many things are scheduled in the right-after-school time period. (On the other hand, my sister is a SAHM, and she gets frustrated when things are scheduled on evenings/weekends. I guess you'll never please everyone!)

 

[Juliegirl1]

Single working mom here. My son is in Scouts, Baseball, piano and Tae Kwon Do. It's all about the scheduling, and priorities. Typically we back off Tae Kwon Do in the spring for baseball. My ex will let my son miss baseball practice for Scouts but not a game. We only have one child but I feel he is overscheduled as it is, (okay I feel overscheduled).

My ex will usually pick up our son after school at my house and take him to baseball. I will leave from work and go straight to baseball and kiddo will come home with me. Piano and Tae Kwon Do are the same way except I pick up kiddo at dad's house after work. I am totally responsible for Scouts because dad doesn't really approve but kiddo loves it. Luckily we only meet about three times a month for Scouts and it is doable. I have carpooled with other moms - about 50% of our troop is made of single working moms so they are all very understanding.

I suggest a large calendar that you can write everyone's schedule and include how they are going to be getting to practice or games. Do it on an excel spreadsheet so you can give a copy to everyone in the family so everyone knows what is going on. Maybe you can find other parents that wouldn't mind switching off carpooling for both kids - if you take charge of it you can schedule to your advantage. I know moms that drive child 1 to practice, drive child 2 to another practice, go back and pick up child 1 and then go pick up child 2. Crazy! Good luck with your scheduling!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I have no idea! I have been a SAHM for 15 years, this is my first year working and just 2 afternoons a week and it is at a preschool so if my kids have off I do too. I am asked wuite a bit to drive other people's kids places. I wouldn't say carpool (though I am in one) as just helping out. My Modays thru Thursdays are non stop in the evening but I have scheduled so our weekends are free. Everything has to be written down or we won't be there. I always said I woouldn't be this way but my oldest tried some things but never really got into anything other then scouts which she doesn't do anymore and I really wish she had, and she does too. So I have encouraged the younger 2 to do what they love and they seem to love a lot. BUT, I tell myself it is temporary, someday my evenings will be free and I will wish that I was sitting under a blanket at a softball game or watching though the glass at swimming or most of all will miss seeing their dance recitals. But I do hear you. My DH will help when he can but he works long hours so mostly it's on me.

What I don't get, and not to hijack, is how working moms and dads deal with sick kids? I know it is rare, but this happened to us this year. DD8 happened to get sick and I couldn't find a sub for my class and DH's boss wouldn't let him stay home with her for the afternoon so I had to call my DD15 home from school to watch her sister. We don't have any family to call so I was stuck. It doesn't happen often I know but what do people do?

I give you all credit, it is stressful to even think about.

 

[crisi]

We say no. We have flexible jobs - and I have a retired mother who is happy to drive, but there is not soccer practice at 3pm in our house. Kids get a single activity at a time and it has to work into the schedule.

 

[thistle922]

I have changed my work schedule before to accommodate sports (I am fortunate to have a boss who has 4 kids, all of whom play several sports..so he totally understands), or we've called in Grandma & Grandpa to help out. It's a pain, but it can be done. You just have to burn through a LOT of favors..LOL! We're fortunate this year that all his baseball games and practices seem to be after 6 pm or on Saturday mornings.

 

[denise5374]

I have always worked FT as as my DH. HE is a teacher and gets home about 4:30 or so and I work 9-5 and get home around 5:30.

We are down to one kid playing sports but this is the first year for that. DD17 aged out of little league and her travel team disbanded. She is helping coach luttle kids but also has her license now sp that makes it easier.

Out little league practices atart at 5:30 or 6pm and as a working mom I would be a little perturbed if a coach called for a 3:30 practice. ALothiug DS plays on an elite travel baseball team and the coach sent out an email yesterday that they were practicing tomorrow at 3:30 since the kids are on Spring Break, fortunately DH is also on break so that works out well.

Oh and DS is trying to play Spring scoocer as well. THose games are all on SUnday afternoons. The way our schedule is now, Little League is Saturday afternoons and Monday nights, travel baseball is Friday nights and Sunday afternoons and school ball is whenever. I rarely get to see those games because they start at 3:30 and are over by 5ish.

To answer your questions, we get alot of help from my parents. Tehy go to all the school games and will get DS to practice if something goes wrong with one of our commutes. I travel about 10 miles and DH about 40miles. DS is old enough to get himself together, he is 13. My parents live about 1/2 mile from us and they are both retired. Plus DH coaches one of DSs teams so he has to be at practice anyway.

If my parents weren't around I would figure something else out because my kids love the sports they are playing and I think it is important for them.

 

[momx2]

Well, 3 p.m. is ridiculous! My DD's aren't even home from school until 3:45 p.m. I have very active girls, soccer, swimming, basketball, etc... They never had any practice before 4:30 p.m. Now next school year my oldest DD will practice soccer right after school, but she just stays there and we will pick her up.

We also do travel soccer and our team is 50 minutes away. We practice 2-3 times per week and drive an hour + to games. We do carpool with 2 other parents for practice, so that helps a lot. You do what you can and say no to the rest.

 

[carone0318]

Both dh and I both work full time. Dh works somewhat regular business hours, he gets both kids off to school in the mornings and comes home around 6ish pm. I on the other hand to accomodate dd's schedule work 6:30am - 2:30pm.

Dd is 13 and is a competitive gymnast. She is in the gym 20+ hrs a wk. She goes 5 days a wk, 4 during the wk and 1 day on the weekend. She gets out of school at 3pm, which is approximately 30 minutes from where I work. I pick her up, swing by and pick up a team mate who lives a few minutes from school and have them both at the gym by 3:30 when practice starts. She goes M, T, Th and F 3:30 - lately it has been to 8:30pm. Also I have to throw in that she is in PT right now because she broke her foot back in January, so I get the lovely job of running her to PT before gym for an hr before picking her up again and carting her to the gym after I already dropped off the team mate. No wonder I have a car that is a little over 4 yrs old and has over 100k miles on it!

I drop them off, turn right around and head home so I'm home in time for ds (9) to get off of his school bus. Dh has been home for my PT runs so I haven't had to deal with that and the school bus. Ds is involved in travel soccer, which dh coaches so he does most of the transporting to and from practice. Ds also did CYO basketball this year and he also has CCD on Wednesday from 5-6pm.

I usually get home start dinner, do homework with ds - maybe watch one of my favorite shows that I have tivo'd (because I can usually keep my eyes open much past 10pm). Feed the dogs, take them out, serve dinner, get ds where ever he needs to go on a given day or have him ready to go to soccer or basketball for dh to take him. I get the following days gym clothes ready, get my lunch, dd's snack for on the way to gym and another snack for while she is at gym, water bottle and stuff all ready. Dh usually comes home and then I go back to the gym around 6:30-7pm to catch a little of dd's practice and then we get home around 8:45pm.

Dh gets her dinner for her, she does her homework, settles down (computer or tv), gets cleaned up and then I can finally sit down.

Would I change my life - no never, it's crazy hectic, but very fulfilling!

 

[ZPT1022]

I'm a SAHM and I find the schedules for activities ridiculous. When just my oldest was eligible to play and do things, we let her sign up for whatever interested her. Once the twins got to be old enough to start doing things, we have slowed down a lot- fees x 3 and time commitment x 3, even if we can do it, is not always how we want to spend our money and free time. So, we've cut back.

For us, it helps now that the kids go to a performing arts magnet school, so they get to take dance classes, and theater classes, and have a great after school program where they get to try lots of activities- so far this year they've done things like African dance, karate, drumming, aerobics, theater, etc...... so I don't feel as bad that I don't feel like dedicating all our family time to their activities- they are getting lots of enrichment already. I know that doesn't work for everyone but it has been a really nice benefit for us.

We were all just feeling such burnout from activities and honestly, some of the time commitments expected were just way too much for their ages. They all did cheerleading this past fall for the midget football league and they had practice for 2.5 hours per day the entire month of August, and then practice and games each week and then they kept extending the season and adding more games on. Finally I said enough and yanked them- getting home after 9 pm with kindergarteners and a third grader on a school night was just too much! I was getting them off the bus, running them through the bathroom, change and hair and then a snack in the car on the way- too much!

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

I feel your pain. We have three kids that go in three different directions, particularly during fall sports. The fall is always the most difficult because DH coaches football.

We couldn't make it work with out the parental "co-op" we have going with a few of our friends. DH is never home from work in time to help get kids to practice so this is honestly how it worked last year.

Leave home with all three ready to go. Drop oldest son off with Family F to ride to his football practice with Mr.F and pick up Mr.F's daughter. Take youngest DS to his practice and drop him off with FamilyB at practice and pick up FamilyB's daughter. Take all three girls to cheer practice until DH shows up at youngest sons practice and Mrs. B comes to cheer practice. Then Mrs. B takes over cheer practice while I run to oldest DS practice. DH brings youngest DS and Mrs.B's son to cheer practice when football practice is over. DH then takes youngest DS and DD home while I pick up oldest DS and FamilyF's son and meet Mrs. F at her house after she has picked up her DD from cheer practice.

3 Nights a week! August through mid-November. It's exhausting but thank God for great friends. When something throws a wrench in our well oiled "get em to practice machine" we all pitch in to make it work. We are three families, all working parents, with 9 kids!

 

[HeatherC]

It really is insane at times, isn't it?

What I find interesting is that you still have these coaches who EXPECT that they WILL be there...even if it is 3pm. Like I said, I'm a SAHM so it's totally do-able. But I'm thinking, "how can they EXPECT this?" People work for goodness sake.

I've also learned not to make any excuses anymore with the coaches. If we can't be there, we can't be there. School vacations we travel and they already scheduled a bunch of practices that week. Oh well...guess who won't be there. We'll just do what we can and take it from there.

And in our town, there is no walking anywhere. The closest field is 5 miles from my house. There is also very little car-pooling going on either since the town is so huge...can take you 25 minutes from one end to the other. So if kids don't live near each other that are on the same team, it's truly got to be a problem for people.

I guess what I find kind of sad or rather dis-heartening is the fact that because things are so competitive today with sports, that some kids can't possibly participate even if they were really talented or skilled because it has to be virtually impossible for some parents to get them to the million plus practices/games a week that some of the sports require.

I personally wish there were more recreational leagues for things that kids could just go play a ball game or something for an hour or two a week. (I'm sure there are some places...just not where we live.) Unfortunately, if you can't commit fully to a sport as a family, these kids don't have much to do. That's kind of sad really.

Life is just so crazy!