How do 2 working parents handle kids sports schedules?

[ZPT1022]

I guess what I find kind of sad or rather dis-heartening is the fact that because things are so competitive today with sports, that some kids can't possibly participate even if they were really talented or skilled because it has to be virtually impossible for some parents to get them to the million plus practices/games a week that some of the sports require.

I personally wish there were more recreational leagues for things that kids could just go play a ball game or something for an hour or two a week. (I'm sure there are some places...just not where we live.) Unfortunately, if you can't commit fully to a sport as a family, these kids don't have much to do. That's kind of sad really.

Life is just so crazy!

The part of this that I hate the most is that if kids don't start from the second they are eligible, they are not likely to ever be able to play at a high school level. So, unless you are willing to dedicate everything to a kid's sport, they won't be able to pick something up later. Bummer, it wasn't necessarily that way when I was in high school either- plenty of people played freshman sports and learned that way and then if they were good enough/liked it enough they moved on to JV or varsity. It's not that easy any more

 

[denise5374]

Get this...we received an email formt he hight school soccer coach. DS will be going into 9th grade this September.

The email states:
I know the summer seems like a distance from now but I wanted to let everyone know some important dates so everyone can plan vacations, trips, etc. without any conflicts. The following are the important dates for this summer:

Little Kids Camp: July 19th-July 23rd
York Team Camp: July 29th-August 1st
Conditioning Camp: August 9th-August 13th
Mandatory Preseason Camp: Begins August 16th

So basically from July 19 until August 28 the kids need to be available and we won't know that he made the team until school starts.

Now that to me is ridiculous!!!

When are we supposed to take a family vacation??? I mean sports are important..but really??? this is a bit much.

 

[zigzagzerr]

It really is insane at times, isn't it?

What I find interesting is that you still have these coaches who EXPECT that they WILL be there...even if it is 3pm. Like I said, I'm a SAHM so it's totally do-able. But I'm thinking, "how can they EXPECT this?" People work for goodness sake.

It's definitely tough!

DD14 is in her first year of high school and has made the JV softball team. School lets out at 2:15 pm and there are practices and/or games after school EVERY SCHOOL DAY. Practices end either at 3:30 (short practice) or 4:30 (long practice), and games are typically finished around 6:00 pm.

DH and I both work full time. I can easily get there if they have an actual game, but the 3:30 and 4:30 end times are a total pain! Thank goodness several of us moms have set up carpools and email trees; otherwise, I don't think she could participate in this.

I truly don't know how those of you with 2 or 3 (or more) kids manage.

 

[denise5374]

The part of this that I hate the most is that if kids don't start from the second they are eligible, they are not likely to ever be able to play at a high school level. So, unless you are willing to dedicate everything to a kid's sport, they won't be able to pick something up later. Bummer, it wasn't necessarily that way when I was in high school either- plenty of people played freshman sports and learned that way and then if they were good enough/liked it enough they moved on to JV or varsity. It's not that easy any more

And not only that, around here if you don't play for the "right" team you won't make school teams at all, no matter how talented you are. The policitcs are ridiculous!!

 

[deerhart]

Both my parents worked (my dad worked 2nd shift from 1:30pm to 10:30pm) so he only got to see my weekend games/tourneys. My mom got off work at 4pm so she could always pick me up after practice (usually practice ended at 5:30pm 2 hours after school).

Game day I would usually walk home (or hitch a ride with a friend/bike etc) and my mom was usually around to take me back for the bus to the game.

With our kids (again Dh and I both work) if we have a practice before 5:30 (which is rare) grandma takes them (as she watches them after school).

Any activities we have right after school, grandma picks them up after the activity is over.

 

[3boymthr]

I work but Mother's Hours so it's not as bad as if I worked full time.

I'm also very glad that this year my kids decided to not join baseball.

Even so just tomorrow I will get home, get the kids of the bus get them a snack and load them in the car, then I have to Drop oldest DS off at the dentist for a cleaning, go from there to Cub Scouts for youngest DS drop off him and the pushmobile, and then back to the Dentist to pick up oldest DS, then back to Cub Scouts to pick up youngest DS and the pushmobile. I think I'll be out of the car a total of 10 minutes.

And DH wonders why I can't get any housework done and why I can't make a big dinner every day since I get home 2 hours before dinner time.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I work but Mother's Hours so it's not as bad as if I worked full time.

I'm also very glad that this year my kids decided to not join baseball.

Even so just tomorrow I will get home, get the kids of the bus get them a snack and load them in the car, then I have to Drop oldest DS off at the dentist for a cleaning, go from there to Cub Scouts for youngest DS drop off him and the pushmobile, and then back to the Dentist to pick up oldest DS, then back to Cub Scouts to pick up youngest DS and the pushmobile. I think I'll be out of the car a total of 10 minutes.

And DH wonders why I can't get any housework done and why I can't make a big dinner every day since I get home 2 hours before dinner time.

I feel for you, today is pick up DD10 at school at 2 for orthodontish appt, back to school (she hopes) by 3:30 for band, then stay with her since she has to be picekd up by 4:15 for dance at 4:30. In that free time waiting for her at band (if we make it) I will run to buy all the candy for the egg hunt I am in charge of for all the Girl Scout troops at our school this weekend. I will grocery shop while she is at dance, come home for dinner, homework and then we have to fill 400 eggs and 50 treat bags (well, start anyway.) I am enjoying a relaxing morning though of laundry. I am not complaning, I love my life, but it is crazy and this is all ONE KID tonight. Thankfully softball doesn't start till next week ot tonight would also include softball for my youngest at 6.

I am so grateful for my days at home to get all the other stuff done.

I am also jealous of all of you with helpful grandparents near by. We have no family here, had to move away because we are from the Detroit area and there were no jobs there even back when we moved here. We are trying to get my grandparents to move near us but it isn't happening fast enough. DD15 is almost 16 and will soon be able to help with the driving, not sure if that is or or a little of both.

 

[Duckyiam71]

We are fortunate. My DH is in the military and we join the sports on post and they all start at 530. The games are mostly on Saturday mornings. This week for example we no practices during the week just games and the weekend is free because of holiday. It works out great for us. It was a little hectic when both DSs were in soccer but it was so worth it. I also have a calendar/planner with practices and games written down and I plan around those.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

So far the sports we do have not been right after school and more towards evening time. I work 7-4 and dh is military so usually he works 7:30-4:30 but with him it can vary. So far football/wrestling/cheering have all been at 6. DD dance varies but all in the evening.

 

[lpandorf]

We were all just feeling such burnout from activities and honestly, some of the time commitments expected were just way too much for their ages. They all did cheerleading this past fall for the midget football league and they had practice for 2.5 hours per day the entire month of August, and then practice and games each week and then they kept extending the season and adding more games on. Finally I said enough and yanked them- getting home after 9 pm with kindergarteners and a third grader on a school night was just too much! I was getting them off the bus, running them through the bathroom, change and hair and then a snack in the car on the way- too much!

I feel the same way, some of the time commitments expected are too much in my opinion for my son's age. DS is in kindergarten and could play football. He'd like to but we won't let him as they practice 3x per week for 2 hours per night and then they have games on Saturday, all fall, some as far as one and a half hours each way. Fortuantely, he enjoys basketball and tball and they practice 1x per week and 1 game per week which I feel is a better fit for him.

 

[penn19]

The part of this that I hate the most is that if kids don't start from the second they are eligible, they are not likely to ever be able to play at a high school level. So, unless you are willing to dedicate everything to a kid's sport, they won't be able to pick something up later. Bummer, it wasn't necessarily that way when I was in high school either- plenty of people played freshman sports and learned that way and then if they were good enough/liked it enough they moved on to JV or varsity. It's not that easy any more

You are so right and it is SAD! I help run a sports league here in town, and I get phone calls from parents who want to sign say their 9 year old up to play ball. They want to know if it is "too late" and that makes me even more sad! It is now too late at 9 to play a sport!? And then the flip side is when we get parents calling who's kids have been playing since birth wanting to know why some of these kids are playing! And this is a rec league. For ALL skill levels.
At the high school that my kids attend/or will be attending in the future, it isn't good enough to be good enough at a sport. You have to be great!

 

[jt8595]

My husband travels every other week and I work 9-5 M-F. Our DS14 and DS10 both play travel soccer. The game season begins in a week. I just take a deep breath and hold on for the ride!!! They will be gone soon enough and I will miss these crazy days.

 

[ICF]

My kids dont even get out of school until 3:30, so there are no crazy practice times like the OP mentioned. Even growing up, my practices that were at 3 or 3:30 were in HS and right after school let out, so we were already there and didnt have to travel anywhere.

My kids have never had practice until 5:30 or later (on weeknights) so even though my wife and I dont get home until 5, it's never been too much of an issue....although some nights they have a 5 min dinner before we head out to their practices.

We have only 2 kids, I dont know how people with 3+ kids all doing stuff manage to get them all to the right place at the right time and then in turn picked up an hour or two later on time.

 

[puffkin]

Get this...we received an email formt he hight school soccer coach. DS will be going into 9th grade this September.

The email states:
I know the summer seems like a distance from now but I wanted to let everyone know some important dates so everyone can plan vacations, trips, etc. without any conflicts. The following are the important dates for this summer:

Little Kids Camp: July 19th-July 23rd
York Team Camp: July 29th-August 1st
Conditioning Camp: August 9th-August 13th
Mandatory Preseason Camp: Begins August 16th

So basically from July 19 until August 28 the kids need to be available and we won't know that he made the team until school starts.

Now that to me is ridiculous!!!

When are we supposed to take a family vacation??? I mean sports are important..but really??? this is a bit much.

My answer would be completely different if we were talking about an 8 year old....

But, this is normal for high school sports. And trust me, if you aren't at these "events" you probably won't make the team. It is just how it is. And all the "non-mandatory" conditioning that goes on through out the year...you better be at those too. High School athletes need to show a different level of commitment than youth athletes....just as college athletes show a different level than high school.

And honestly, by high school, most coaches could care less about family vacations. If your child can't show a commitment to attend these events with plenty of notice, why should he/she make the team if another similarly talented player does? I sweated through many camps, conditioning sessions and practices during July and August while my friends vacationed at the beach. My brothers played baseball so June and July were out for vacations too. Guess what....we didn't go on vacation for those few years and we all survived. I know it sounds harsh, but it is par for the course with high school athletics (again, my answer would be completely different if talking about an 8 year old).

As far as practices/games....if you are in a true pinch don't be afraid to ask the coaches. I coach youth field hockey and I have driven kids to/from practice on occassion when the parents really needed help. I didn't mind at all, especially for games.

 

[denise5374]

My answer would be completely different if we were talking about an 8 year old....

But, this is normal for high school sports. And trust me, if you aren't at these "events" you probably won't make the team. It is just how it is. And all the "non-mandatory" conditioning that goes on through out the year...you better be at those too. High School athletes need to show a different level of commitment than youth athletes....just as college athletes show a different level than high school.

And honestly, by high school, most coaches could care less about family vacations. If your child can't show a commitment to attend these events with plenty of notice, why should he/she make the team if another similarly talented player does? I sweated through many camps, conditioning sessions and practices during July and August while my friends vacationed at the beach. My brothers played baseball so June and July were out for vacations too. Guess what....we didn't go on vacation for those few years and we all survived. I know it sounds harsh, but it is par for the course with high school athletics (again, my answer would be completely different if talking about an 8 year old).

and that is exactly our plan...no vacation because DS also plays baseball which goes until the end of July. Since I already have this years vacation planned(going to the beach), looks like DD and I will be going and DH and DS will be staying at home or something like that. From next year on it looks like we will be doing the Spring break/Christmas Break vacation

I lived through this with DD but her sport was softball so it didn't require any summer commitments but alo of "optional" training which also cost me $150. The fall sport thing is all new to me.

 

[mommy2allyandaveri]

3pm is totally rediculous, school isn't even out at that time around here.

DD6 loves sports and I encourage her to do as many as she wants. Keeps her busy, helps social skills, and great exercise. We do soccer, basketball and baseball. My youngest is only old enough to do gymnastics right now. We have been fortunate that none of them really overlap. I will do whatever I need to do in order for her to participate in these activities.

 

[sdoll]

Wow! Now I am even more stressed. I have a 2 and 4 year old. My husband and I both are retail managers with crazy hours. I do my best just to get the day to day actvities done. I have no idea what I will do when they get older. I stress out so much now. I have figured out that everything gets done but at what cost? I can tell you I have aged alot in 5 years.

To the poster that asked about what you do when your kids are sick... Last week I was not feeling great and my baby was not feeling great. I had the boys ready in the car i looked in my rear view mirror and my little guy had a gross nose and droopy eyes and fever. I thought what am I doing? I turned around and called off on a day that I really couldn't but my kids come first and always will. I have learned that in order for something to be 100% a few other things must be below. It is my goal that my kids always feel 100%.

But I will tell you there are days where I cry with frustration or a partially rough day if I feel guilty for dropping the ball on something.

Its hard but what are the options. We have a roof over our heads and everything we need. Life really is great just stressful!

 

[crisi]

My kids dont even get out of school until 3:30, so there are no crazy practice times like the OP mentioned. Even growing up, my practices that were at 3 or 3:30 were in HS and right after school let out, so we were already there and didnt have to travel anywhere.

My kids have never had practice until 5:30 or later (on weeknights) so even though my wife and I dont get home until 5, it's never been too much of an issue....although some nights they have a 5 min dinner before we head out to their practices.

We have only 2 kids, I dont know how people with 3+ kids all doing stuff manage to get them all to the right place at the right time and then in turn picked up an hour or two later on time.

Mine, who are still in elementary school, don't get home until after 4 pm. Then they have over an hour of homework a night, need to practice instruments for band, eat dinner, do their chores, spend some time with their family, and take their baths/showers. They get up at 6:30 to get dressed, have breakfast and make it to school (the school provides before school care). There isn't a lot of time for two hour practices, or driving to games, even if were a SAHM.

 

[Chelley00]

Get this...we received an email formt he hight school soccer coach. DS will be going into 9th grade this September.

Little Kids Camp: July 19th-July 23rd
York Team Camp: July 29th-August 1st
Conditioning Camp: August 9th-August 13th
Mandatory Preseason Camp: Begins August 16th

So basically from July 19 until August 28 the kids need to be available and we won't know that he made the team until school starts.

Now that to me is ridiculous!!!

When are we supposed to take a family vacation??? I mean sports are important..but really??? this is a bit much.

You are LUCKY!!! DS is going into 9th grade next year and the high school soccer schedule got here a few weeks ago, and they had a meeting last week. Our summer schedule starts the day after school lets out.

All of June and July they have weight training and conditioning from 8am-11am, and then small sided games from 5-7pm, Monday-Thursday. They have camp the second week of June, full days. They have vital conditioning week the last week of July. Tryouts begin Aug 2, and then they go to 2 a day practices until school starts, including Saturdays.

Welcome to high school. Oldest DS plays basketball. Conditions all of June and half of July, then weight trains and conditions daily until the season can start in October.


Thankfully it's a private school and the coach told us "take your vacations, family time is important, just please don't go vital conditioning week or tryout week"



I'll be doing this all alone, while driving 2 younger ones to practice, as DH works nights and sleeps evenings since he's home with youngest DS during the day while I work. I just try and carpool with people I know and trust as much as possible, otherwise, kids just have to miss practices.

 

[momejay]

I'm a single working mom of 3 (at home)....2 girls age 16 in dance 2 times a week, one of them is on a bowling team the other does softball & twirling, my son has special needs & goes to therapy 2-4 times a week.
I work 2 jobs from home. It seems like I am always driving, cooking, waiting or working. Try doing all this running around & cooking for 4 different special diets each night.

At least a 2nd working parent has a hubby to complain to!