How do 2 working parents handle kids sports schedules?

[drcmk]

But, this is normal for high school sports. And trust me, if you aren't at these "events" you probably won't make the team. It is just how it is. And all the "non-mandatory" conditioning that goes on through out the year...you better be at those too. High School athletes need to show a different level of commitment than youth athletes....just as college athletes show a different level than high school.

So, I just have to ask---considering that only a teenie-weenie percentage of these kids have the ability to be a professional athlete or even rate an athletic scholarship, why is this craziness worth it? What are they all competing for?

 

[drcmk]

What I don't get, and not to hijack, is how working moms and dads deal with sick kids? I know it is rare, but this happened to us this year.

It's really not that rare. The more kids you have, the more likely that one of them will be sick on any given day, right? My thirteen year old has missed fifteen days of school this year due to fevers and viruses--that's not typical but the doctor says it is within the normal range and she just has to stay home and recover. Add to that things like snow days and in-service days and school concerts and awards ceremonies and it becomes very hard for two parents to work full-time while kids are in school. We did it for a short time, but the night before a possible sick day or snow day DH and I would argue about who could more easily take a day off to stay with the kids(s). For us, it turned out that only one of us was able to work full time and the other part time. It has made life a bit more financially stressful but less stressful in other ways.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't work, but have a couple of friends that do. It's called carpooling! Ds11 is on 3 teams this season (2 travel), ds7 and dd7 2 teams each, dd 9 only one, but she dances 5 nights a week. Dd13 is very busy as well, with plays and concerts. Add scouting for 3 of them, tae kwon do, CCD, and other activities (signed ds11 up for golf), and it does become difficult.

I could never do it without the help of other parents, and we do our part as well (DH drove 1/2 to pick up dd13 and 3 other kids, who are older than she is, from a 4 concert rehearsal - we don't know each other that well, but are all from the same town). Another one of the parents drove her today at 4, and another will drive home at 10.

I reference my calendar a dozen times a day, so I know I'm not forgetting anything, or anyone!

 

[crisi]

If my kids are sick, I VPN in and work from home. No big.

 

[edk35]

Get this...we received an email formt he hight school soccer coach. DS will be going into 9th grade this September.

The email states:
I know the summer seems like a distance from now but I wanted to let everyone know some important dates so everyone can plan vacations, trips, etc. without any conflicts. The following are the important dates for this summer:

Little Kids Camp: July 19th-July 23rd
York Team Camp: July 29th-August 1st
Conditioning Camp: August 9th-August 13th
Mandatory Preseason Camp: Begins August 16th

So basically from July 19 until August 28 the kids need to be available and we won't know that he made the team until school starts.

Now that to me is ridiculous!!!

When are we supposed to take a family vacation??? I mean sports are important..but really??? this is a bit much.

My son just finished 2 yeas of JV soccer. We do plan around HIS schedule now. We did the same thing for dd who who took summer dance intensives for years. As soon as school is out summer high school league begins, he will play in two soccer games a week until the end of July. These are NOT mandatory but trust me THEY NEED TO BE THERE. Do they expect us to NOT go on vacations NO. Do the coaches say being a part of this program does not weigh in on if they make or don't make a team YES...do I believe that NO. He will miss the last week of this. He has a game on Thursday July 16th and we leave the next day for a week at Disney followed by 4 nights at Vero. Then we drive back and get home on a Wed. He leaves on Friday for a 3 day soccer camp at University of Maryland. Then he runs his bum off for the next two weeks because tryouts start on Aug. 14th for about 5 days. So once in high school it is intense. He also plays on a club team in the spring and plays indoor soccer from Nov through March. So year round basically.

Do we think he will be a professional soccer player or get a scholarship probably not. Does he love soccer?? YES!! Is he good? YES!! Do all of these programs make him a better player, student, team player? YES!! I am firm believer in youth sports and high school sports. Just having the skill to play the game is NOT what making a team is all about. Kids learn so much from being on a team and being a part of a high school team teaches them so many life skills. For one..... time management, keeps them on a good track if you know what I mean, helps develop them to be a well rounded person. Not to say that every person that plays sports is going to be THIS WONDERFUL PERSON but in our family ....I think it has played an important role in each of our kid's development physically, mentally and emotionally.

 

[mjkacmom]

So, I just have to ask---considering that only a teenie-weenie percentage of these kids have the ability to be a professional athlete or even rate an athletic scholarship, why is this craziness worth it? What are they all competing for?

My ds11 has no chance of a scholarship, and although he's good at baseball and basketball, will never make the HS team. However, he loves playing! His only chance is soccer. What some people don't realize is that these kids LOVE to play sports. They're out there in the cold, the rain, the heat - and they're not complaining!

It's hard to take a break, because you are then so behind, and it's not as fun. I know my ds is going to miss some of these sports in a couple of years.

 

[edk35]

My answer would be completely different if we were talking about an 8 year old....

But, this is normal for high school sports. And trust me, if you aren't at these "events" you probably won't make the team. It is just how it is. And all the "non-mandatory" conditioning that goes on through out the year...you better be at those too. High School athletes need to show a different level of commitment than youth athletes....just as college athletes show a different level than high school.

And honestly, by high school, most coaches could care less about family vacations. If your child can't show a commitment to attend these events with plenty of notice, why should he/she make the team if another similarly talented player does? I sweated through many camps, conditioning sessions and practices during July and August while my friends vacationed at the beach. My brothers played baseball so June and July were out for vacations too. Guess what....we didn't go on vacation for those few years and we all survived. I know it sounds harsh, but it is par for the course with high school athletics (again, my answer would be completely different if talking about an 8 year old).

As far as practices/games....if you are in a true pinch don't be afraid to ask the coaches. I coach youth field hockey and I have driven kids to/from practice on occassion when the parents really needed help. I didn't mind at all, especially for games.

I agree with this. High School YES. We expect that. We just pulled our youngest son off of this "elite" travel soccer team after indoor soccer was over. He is in the 5th grade and his coach's goal is to get HIS SON on the high school team. So he wants this professional little 11 year old soccer team with matching bags, fancy uniforms and 2 hour practices two times a week with additional training optional. We played with him for fall soccer and winter and that was enough. DONE. He was not happy, we were not happy so we actually went down a division and he is NOW happy. Less stress and more fun.

 

[HeatherC]

OP here. It's been very interesting reading everyone's thoughts on this subject.

I agree that high school is a bit different. My son is only 11 now and I'm already seeing how busy it is.

I think what also concerns me is that kids (speaking generally of course) seem to be so scheduled with everything these days. I feel like many kids probably don't have the time to stop and smell the roses. I also feel like this can sometimes completely squash kids creativity. When they have to be somewhere every second of the day, it doesn't allow much time to think and create. Same holds true for us as parents as well. There are only so many hours in a day.

I'm certainly not saying people/kids shouldn't be doing sports/activities...I think they are great. My point is that I think society is just so busy racing through life that there is very little time to enjoy the small things. When parents rush from work to activity to homework to bed and do it all over again the next day and the next, it becomes exhausting and it seems like we are all expected to "just do it" because that is the norm. Does that make sense?

Guess I'm wishing there was more balance in things. Seems like a lot of times things have to be all consuming or not at all.

 

[NotUrsula]

My answer would be completely different if we were talking about an 8 year old....

But, this is normal for high school sports. And trust me, if you aren't at these "events" you probably won't make the team. It is just how it is. And all the "non-mandatory" conditioning that goes on through out the year...you better be at those too. High School athletes need to show a different level of commitment than youth athletes....just as college athletes show a different level than high school.

And honestly, by high school, most coaches could care less about family vacations. If your child can't show a commitment to attend these events with plenty of notice, why should he/she make the team if another similarly talented player does? I sweated through many camps, conditioning sessions and practices during July and August while my friends vacationed at the beach. My brothers played baseball so June and July were out for vacations too. Guess what....we didn't go on vacation for those few years and we all survived. I know it sounds harsh, but it is par for the course with high school athletics (again, my answer would be completely different if talking about an 8 year old).

As far as practices/games....if you are in a true pinch don't be afraid to ask the coaches. I coach youth field hockey and I have driven kids to/from practice on occassion when the parents really needed help. I didn't mind at all, especially for games.

My WOHP perspective on this is that by this age, if your kid wants the privilege of taking part in the activity, then he/she needs to take on the responsibility of getting to/from practices under his/her own power. Bike, public transit, whatever .. but a high-schooler shouldn't be depending on mom and dad for a ride all the time.

And before someone asks, yeah, I did. Seven miles on foot daily during the school year, 14 miles daily in the summer on a bike, all four years of high school.

 

[Chelley00]

I think what also concerns me is that kids (speaking generally of course) seem to be so scheduled with everything these days. I feel like many kids probably don't have the time to stop and smell the roses. .

For my kids, being in sports IS their roses

 

[denise5374]

For my kids, being in sports IS their roses

I sgree with this!

 

[redlawyer]

The part of this that I hate the most is that if kids don't start from the second they are eligible, they are not likely to ever be able to play at a high school level. So, unless you are willing to dedicate everything to a kid's sport, they won't be able to pick something up later. Bummer, it wasn't necessarily that way when I was in high school either- plenty of people played freshman sports and learned that way and then if they were good enough/liked it enough they moved on to JV or varsity. It's not that easy any more

Wow, I thought this was only in my town. I was really upset to see my neighbor trying so hard to get on the jv baseball team, then the basketball team, then another. He so badly wanted to participate, but he never made the " cut" He's pretty athletic too. My kids played soccer until they reached the age of midweek practices. Not gonna happen, DH and I both work. Now, they play soccer in the yard for fun and swim for fun, not swim team, all summer.

 

[redlawyer]

So, I just have to ask---considering that only a teenie-weenie percentage of these kids have the ability to be a professional athlete or even rate an athletic scholarship, why is this craziness worth it? What are they all competing for?

Thats what we decided. Let them enjoy life. I'm sorry that they can't play high school soccer because they love soccer. But the reality is even if they devoted all their waking hours, at the expense of everything else, they still might not make the team.

Weekends are family time for us. We do make a few exceptions, but by and large, we do things together. It might get harder as they grow up (oldest dd is 9) but so far, so good.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

It's really not that rare. The more kids you have, the more likely that one of them will be sick on any given day, right? My thirteen year old has missed fifteen days of school this year due to fevers and viruses--that's not typical but the doctor says it is within the normal range and she just has to stay home and recover. Add to that things like snow days and in-service days and school concerts and awards ceremonies and it becomes very hard for two parents to work full-time while kids are in school. We did it for a short time, but the night before a possible sick day or snow day DH and I would argue about who could more easily take a day off to stay with the kids(s). For us, it turned out that only one of us was able to work full time and the other part time. It has made life a bit more financially stressful but less stressful in other ways.

What I should have said is for US it is rare. This was my first year working and only 2 afternoons a week. We are now considering if I should take the job again next year. I took it on a one year trial basis and while I enjoy it, my DH's company is not enjoying it and I can't have my $40 a week job interfere with his career and the income we depend on.

If my kids are sick, I VPN in and work from home. No big.

That is great. My DH can remote in too but his boss did not go for it to take care of his sick kid (the first time he has ever asked to do it.)

 

[mamalle]

I try and keep my kids at the same park. one of us is always home since we work opposite days so that helps.. Spring baseball is 3x per week while dd plays rec soccer and competitive cheerleading. It can be challenging but as long as its organized and we have notice- It can all be figured out.. dd has one more year of elementary school and we figure once she starts middle school- she will have to chose just one activitym so for now we just keep busy mon-thurs and saturdays are game day. I'd prefer mine being outside and doing something physical instead of sitting inside and our weather is nice year round so playing a outdoor sport for falls & spring is normal.

 

[momx2]

and that is exactly our plan...no vacation because DS also plays baseball which goes until the end of July. Since I already have this years vacation planned(going to the beach), looks like DD and I will be going and DH and DS will be staying at home or something like that. From next year on it looks like we will be doing the Spring break/Christmas Break vacation

I lived through this with DD but her sport was softball so it didn't require any summer commitments but alo of "optional" training which also cost me $150. The fall sport thing is all new to me.

We are starting that vacationing schedule this year ourselves. It sucks!!! We do have 2 weeks in the summer in KY that no training or school sport can take place. I knew this ahead of time from other parents and planned our vacation during those weeks.

 

[momx2]

Wow, I thought this was only in my town. I was really upset to see my neighbor trying so hard to get on the jv baseball team, then the basketball team, then another. He so badly wanted to participate, but he never made the " cut" He's pretty athletic too. My kids played soccer until they reached the age of midweek practices. Not gonna happen, DHand I both work. Now, they play soccer in the yard for fun and swim for fun, not swim team, all summer.

Wow! My kids have had at least one midweek practice in every sport they have played, soccer, basketball, softball, since they were 5 years old. I don't know of any sport that doesn't have at least one practice during the week.

 

[edk35]

Wow! My kids have had at least one midweek practice in every sport they have played, soccer, basketball, softball, since they were 5 years old. I don't know of any sport that doesn't have at least one practice during the week.

OURS TOO. Our kids have had baseball games during the week.

 

[crisi]

That is great. My DH can remote in too but his boss did not go for it to take care of his sick kid (the first time he has ever asked to do it.)

Minnesota has a law where you have to let an employee use their sick time to care for their sick kids. And I'm salaried - I don't get "sick time" so the translation is "they don't have a choice, I stay home and they pay me." They'd rather have me dial into meetings and VPN in to do work while the kids nap or watch TV than not get any productivity from me.

But I work from home fairly regularly anyway - and my husband can, too. So sick kids is seldom a huge issue. For those few times when we both really should be in the office and the kids are sick, my mother often comes over.

 

[lurkernj]

DH and I both work full time. We work out carpools with other parents. We have DS15 and DS12, who both partake in various sports. Sometimes it means I need to leave work early in order to fulfill my carpool obligation. Fortunately my job is very flexible so if I leave early one day, I can just stay late another.

High school sports are a whole different breed. We start "optional" basketball practices as soon as school lets out in June, then end of July he starts cross country practice in the morning, so he is often doing two sports in one day, and neither season has technically even started. Now we are into spring track. His whole spring break he has been going to practice from 3:15-6p.

If they miss more than two regular practices, they aren't eligible to receive a varsity letter (if they even qualify in the first place). He is a freshman and hasn't lettered yet this year. We were just discussing going to Hawaii over Easter next year so we can see the whales that are only present until late April, and DS15 told me he'd rather not go during school if he doesn't letter in spring track.