How did you know you had met the person you were going to marry?

DisneyJules

Magic is all around us!
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
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1,244
Still trying to heal after a breakup, feels like it'll never get better! How did you know your spouse was "the one."
 
I didn't know he was "the one" for a very long time.

We met in college and started dating in February of 2000. Broke up in January 2001 after a very rocky relationship and him moving away to his first post-college job. We e-mailed occasionally and saw each other maybe twice after that.

Fast foward to June 2003. He called me up and asked me to attend a wedding with him since the couple were mutual friends. His bus got there before mine, and when I saw him sitting there at the terminal, I knew right then that I was going to marry him.

I know it's hard right now, but sometimes it's not meant to be at the given time. If we got married in 2000 or 2001, we would not be married today.

:hug: Hang in there. :hug:
 
The first time I heard him laugh. Don't know why but it kind of gave me a soft spot for him that is still there.
 
It took me about 10 minutes to know that I had met a possible partner for life. I was hosting him at dinner - my boyfriend brought him home from work unexpectedly. I excused myself and went next door to my best friend's house and told her my future husband was next door in my house and I did NOT mean my boyfriend!!! lol! I had to wait a while until my breakup was over but my ex told me, 'you need a man like Steve.'
I couldn't believe he was telling me to look into a relationship with 'my future husband!' The rest took care of itself.
 

I knew instantly, before she and I said a word to each other. I was 24 and had never fallen in love, nor did I really expect to. I wasn't looking for it, that's for sure! But I saw her and felt drawn to her in a way I never felt drawn to another human being in my life.

I introduced myself, giggling like an idiot. I could not stop smiling no matter how badly I wanted to play it cool. I was just sitting there in pure delight that I just found my soul mate As I got to know her, there were so many wonderful things about her. I loved her smile, which is huge, and I loved her eyes, which are kind and gentle, and I loved her voice which speaks with such a tenderness it just gives me goose bumps. She's intense in that she wants to know everything about me. It's an adrenaline rush to be with her because nobody has ever looked so closely into who I am. She always wanted to know every single thing about me, oftentimes things I never even considered sharing with another person. It's scary at first to let somebody in that way, but exciting when you realize that this person knows everything about you, yet loves you anyway.

Anyway, she was in the military back then and had to leave after a year. I was heartbroken and never forgot her. About 14 months ago, we found one another on MySpace and resumed where we left off 13 years ago. We still have distance between us, but we will resolve that. In the meantime, we see each other about every three months. Next time will be in November at Disneyland!
 
Don't ask me how because I don't know, but I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that he was "the one".

Took him a little longer though, haha.

We've been married 44 years now.
 
He proposed on our first date (before we even went on it actually).
 
I don't think there is any magic, except the magic of two people reaching the same place at the same time. Though it isn't the sole foundation of our marriage, I think that all that is necessary for a long, successful marriage is commitment. I believe humans are powerful enough to acknowledge the value of loving a partner; acknowledge the value of fulfilling a partner's emotional, spiritual and physical needs; acknowledge the value of fostering a partner's life-long growth, development and accomplishment; acknowledge the value of being attracted to their partner and working diligently to be attractive to their partner. (And so on...)

And as long as two people are committed, and recognize and exercise those powers, I believe a long, successful marriage can be built from practically nothing (if necessary). It does require, though, trusting that the commitment is mutual. It does require, though, acknowledging that these values are greater than transitory distractions from that commitment. (And so on...)

You may find the discussions in these other recent threads also useful given your inquiry: (My comments above are essentially just an adaption of my long-standing perspective regarding the issue of marriage and commitment, and they're essentially what I wrote in each of these two other threads...)

MSNBC Article: "On Marriage: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"

Just curious ~ does "meant to be together" = ...
 
In the early stages of dating I was with him at his parents house where they had an elderly cat. Dh got down on the floor and was so tender and kind with that cat that right then and there I knew.

We started dating in March, he asked me to marry him in November, we moved in together in December, then got married in June. We were 25 & 26 and met at work.

Neither one of us were looking - it just happened. We just had our 22nd anniversary.

Jill
 
The first time I met DH of 12 years; he drove me crazy and I knew. He was the most annoying, loud, overbearing man I had ever met. I knew that day, even though I was only 16 years old, he was going to be my husband. He just oozed bad boy traits and I was entranced! I have a classic bad boy attraction ( he is a big teddy bear under all his personality) We are very ying/ yang but we have been together for 14 years. :goodvibes We have survived good times and some not so good times.
 
DH said he know I was the one the first time he set eyes on me. It took me a couple of months to know he was the one. We are a stronger couple now than any time before in our marriage or dating period.
 
It took me about 10 minutes to know that I had met a possible partner for life. I was hosting him at dinner - my boyfriend brought him home from work unexpectedly. I excused myself and went next door to my best friend's house and told her my future husband was next door in my house and I did NOT mean my boyfriend!!! .

What was it about him that made you think he was the one for you???
 
We had been dating for about 6 months, my longest relationship yet. He had said numerous times that he thought we would end up together and I had laughed it off, telling him "let's see if we make it 3 months first" and other similar things. Well, the topic of weddings came up and I said, jokingly, "Could you really see the two of us getting married?" He said "No", and for some strange reason I was completely crestfallen. In that moment, I could with perfect clarity see him in a tux and me in the white dress in front of all our friends and knew that it would happen and that we would be happy.

Years later he told me he had lied and said no because he didn't want me to think he was a total sap.
 
One day when we were still dating, we were painting in his house. He was in the master bedroom. I was in the living room on a ladder painting. I fell from the ladder, hit the corner of the coffee table and screamed. I spilled BLUE paint all over his beige carpet but he couldn't care less. He came running from the bedroom to see what had happened. He was yelling "What's wrong? What happened? Are you ok?" I was fine but it meant so much to me that he came running, panicking into the room hoping that I was ok and not caring at all about the smurf blu paint that I had just spilled everywhere!!!

Thats when I knew.
 
I'd known him for about 6 months before we started dating. He was in my roommates band and was around all the time, but I never noticed him. I dated a few different guys (I was in college) and while they were all super attractive, ultra confident, our relationships never went anywhere.
Then, at one of my roommates shows, the guitar player (my future DH) had flowers waiting for me backstage. It took a lot of guts for him to do that in front of all of our friends and the other bands, so I knew he was serious. He was the kindest, sweetest guy I'd ever met and I was kicking myself for not realizing it for so long. We've been together for almost 10 years now.
True love is sometimes where you least expect it.

And how did I know he was the one: I guess, I realized that he was putting as much into our relationship as I was. He was not only my boyfriend, he was my best friend. And still is.
 















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