How could my own MIL do this to me!!!

[sajetto]

I had a horrible weekend and I needed to vent to my friends on the DIS.

As many know, my DF and I bought a house last month. He sold his old house and I had an apartment which equaled A LOT of stuff! So, my MIL offered to store all of mine until we got my DF packed. Then I could come get my stuff back. Well........ I sure did come back for it and brought it all home, but I noticed some of my nightgowns were missing, my bras, and a few other things. : When my DF asked her about it she said that she didn't know, but it was probably in the garage.

So, she was out of town over the weekend and I still wanted to go in the garage and get the rest of my stuff. It was NO where to be found! Then my DF called my name and said "Honey, is this what you're looking for?"


Well, there it was all of my nightgowns and bras neatly folded in her dresser drawers and that's not the half of it! A $400 dollar set of my drapes were in her closet, $500 dollars worth of leather shoes that I have to go to work in, half of my jewlery, and ALL of my brand spaking new candles were in her kitchen cabinets!!!!!!

When he confronted her about it she said "Oh, that stuff, I thought she was going to get rid of it so I put it in the house and was going to give her a little money for it."

YEAH RIGHT! What in the H*LL would make her think I'd get rid of nearly $1,000 dollars of the NICEST things I own?!

However, first she lied and said she didn't know where it was, then she got caught and made up an excuse, and now SHE's furious because we went in her drawers. Well thank God we did! I can't believe she would steal from me and lie about it. I never would have sold any of that stuff to anyone for any reason. I'm so mad I just don't know what to do with myself.

Thank you for letting me vent. This has been such a bad weekend and my poor DF is so embarrassed because he knows that she was trying to steal from me and thought I wouldn't notice.

 

[bananiem]

OMG! I'm so sorry! Whatever you do, don't give her a key to your house!

 

[sajetto]

OMG! I'm so sorry! Whatever you do, don't give her a key to your house!

I know! That's exactly what I told the DF. NO ONE from his family is to ever have a key to our home for any reason whatsoever It's sad that I have to have a rule like that, shouldn't you be able to trust those you are related to?

 

[Crankyshank]

She was going to wear your used bras? It's bad enough she was taking your stuff but omg eww!

 

[tiggersmom2]

O.....M......G!!!!! That is so freakin horrible...

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, that's unbelieveable. It just goes to show you can't pick your family. Whatever you do make sure someone is guarding your wedding presents while you're on your honeymoon.

 

[sajetto]

She was going to wear your used bras? It's bad enough she was taking your stuff but omg eww!

No, they were brand new Victoria's Secret IPEX bras with the tags on. However, I wouldn't put it past her to take my old ones too

 

[jenny2]

shouldn't you be able to trust those you are related to?

Well... it would be nice but it doesn't always work out that way!

This is horrible - but at least you found out NOW and were able to get your things back!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I am so sorry! Sounds to me like she has mental problems--this is not normal behavior. I feel bad for your DF and of course for you. Better that you found out now and have your eyes open before they have a key to your house--now you know to have your guard up. What a bummer.

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

Sounds like your DF is very lucky to have you - a normal female in his life!

So sorry!

 

[Maleficent13]

Of all the MIL stories I've heard, this takes the cake...I am so sorry!!

 

[palmtreegirl]

Wow, just wow, that is crazy!!!!

 

[sajetto]

Thank you guys so much for hearing my story. I've truly never felt so betrayed in my life.

I don't want to express my rage around my DF because he's already embarrased enough and I don't want to cause any issues between us because of her. I was never her biggest fan, but I didn't suspect that she'd ever do something like this.

You guys are all I have to talk to about this.

 

[Chicago526]

Wow! I don't even know what to say!

My MIL has issues to be sure, but she'd rather be dead in a ditch than steal a cent from anyone.

I agree, though, that it's better to find this out early on. Have someone watch the wedding gifts for you, don't give out a key, and keep an eye on her when she visits! Maybe since she's been caught, she won't try it again, but if this is some kind of mental illness or compulsion, I wouldn't trust her with anything you ever want to see again.

All that said, I'd try and let this incident go and just put it behind you. Forgive, just don't forget. You don't want to put your DF in the middle of you and your MIL, even if he is 100% on your side and furious at his mother, he's still in the middle. If I had to take sides between my mother and my DH, I'd stand behind my DH but I'd be heart broken over it, even if my DH was 100% in the right and my mom was 100% in the wrong. Best to avoid that kind of situation if at all possible.

 

[Jennasis]

At first I thought you were going to say she took the clothes and perhaps laundered them for you and put them in YOUR dresser drawers (BTW your OP says it was your dresser, but I am assuming you meant you found them in HER dresser). My MIL was FAMOUS for "helping" me by doing my laundry when she lived with us (for almost a year). It drove me insane! I HATE letting other people handle my undies (except DH heheheheee). However, now that DH and I work so hard on our farm (DH has another full-time day job too) I WELSOME my MIL to do my laundry!! I am actually amused that there was a time it annoyed me, because I totally welcome her help now.

However, your situation is no where near like mine. Your future MIL is a nut bag. I hope your DH stuck up for you and is not embarassed, but angry at his mom. Don't invite her over until you get an apology.

 

[princess pooh]

Ewww! What kind of person steals someone's lingerie and shoes!!!

If you have a sibling, make put them in charge of locking up the wedding gifts!

 

[lindakmonty]

Good thing you found this out right away!! That is pretty creepy. So sad and embarrasing for sure. I can't believe she really thought you were going to sell things that still had the tags on them!! At least now you know to watch from now on.

My dh's step-neices are like that... I don't let them out of my sight and don't even like them being in our house. Thankfully we have a huge safe that we keep really valuable things but there are still things around your house that are important to you that you don't want to hide... and things that mean the world to you will mean nothing to others and they think you'll notice it is gone. His nephews had to put a box w/a lid on the kitchen table in front of everyone to see for their graduation cards or they would have gotten stolen. It is sad!! Good luck!!

 

[CarolG]

That is just really strange! I'm really glad you were able to get everything back!.

On the other hand, at least now you have some ideas for future birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day presents!

 

[Sherri]

I feel bad for you, I do. But the one I really feel bad for is your DF imagine his embarrasment and the thought that you may tell your friends and family and although it doens't make him look bad whatsoever, it is still his mother.
I would learn a lesson from it and do what you said and not give a key to your home to his mother.
I guess this brings up a whole lot of issues for you, for example when you have kids. You will need to mend the fence to a point where you can co-exist in the family.
Maybe you should speak to her about it and clear the air. Maybe you can say that you are flattered that she admires your things but hurt that she would try and take them from you. See what she has to say for herself.
Although there will not be a good explaination you somehow have find a middle ground. You don't want to start off your new marriage with unfinished business between you and your MIL.
Did she seem normal up to this point? Does your DF have a good relationship with her? If you answered yes to both questions then I would chalk it up to a VERY BAD judgement call on her part and forgive her and carefully let her earn back your trust, thats the best gift you can give DF IF he is close to her.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

That is horrid. I have a family story...my uncle was engaged (and did marry) to a lady who stole from my aunt and her kids, probably my grandfather as well. She stole money, clothes, whatever. They found their missing stuff in her drawers. How nice.