How can some people not get why they are overweight?

[Michie]

My DH's family everything revolves around food, food, food, food. They go to Grandma and GrandPa's they expect Grandma to cook something, usually fried. Which is okay every once in awhile, but they all eat fried foods on a daily basis. Any family get together, everything revolves around food, food, food. To be honest it disgusts me. My DH has lost alot of weight and kept it off since we have been married. He is the only one in his family that is not obese, and he has 5 siblings. It really disgusts me when they try to push food on to him, or any of us, when we have already told them no, thank you.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I am gently suggesting that many of the posters who felt that Steve's post is inappropriate would actually be mortified to have an "assignment of blame" conversation with their physician, and even more mortified to find out that anyone else knew about it. I said in my earlier post: my doctor told me that I was fat and that I had to change, and I cried. Now that I've gone ahead and lost the weight, I'd be happy if my doctor used my story as an anecdote, stripped of all personal/identifying characteristics (as Steve's was). But at the time, I would've been embarrassed. It's rough to be heavy and to see a story like this appear on a message board, and think, my god, what is my doctor saying about me.

You have a point, maybe some posters are seeing themselves in Disneysteve's original post.

When I was fat, I knew I was fat, but I didn't want anyone to tell me that I was fat, or that I was unhealthy, that I was eating "bad" things. My weight gain started in high school and went throughout college. I don't know when I had my "Eureka" moment...it was after I graduated college and was in the end stages of a loser relationship, but I can't remember any other great details. I know I knew I had to make healthy changes, I knew that as I entered the work force my looks did matter. But through all of this, if anyone suggested I needed to lose weight I would have killed them.

 

[FINFAN]

Exactly Caradana...I am not overweight, 5'9" 135lb., however, I am sure I am a veritable wealth of "what not to do" in a doctors eyes on many aspects of my health. The patient/DR coveration that is posted came off as insensitive IMHO. I just think that the conversation itself could have been left out and the subject matter/thread title addressed without using a specific patient as an example. I think that Steve shows a great deal of concern as a doctor by posting his frustration and wanting to find suggestions to help his patients, but at the same time find it bothersome that he was not more sensitive in his approach to discuss it on the boards. And yes, I know this is the CB and therefor open to any topic that is handled in an appropriate manner, so Steve is not doing anything wrong by DIS standards, I guess it just bothers me. Oh well, maybe the end will justify the means.

 

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm
This is the female BMI site with a link to the mens version. What is kind of an eye opener to me is that I'm a 22 BMI and 14th%!! Do 86% of women my height and age range really weigh more than me?? I don't get that nor sure I believe it. I read the link that explained the %'s too. Is America really that heavy?

I truly think some women have reverse anorexia. Not exactly that, but I know some overweight women who do NOT see or think of themselves as overweight. I think they see themselves as what they used to be. I find photos to be the most honest mirror of yourself. I keep an eye on myself this way!

My remark about some people gaining since the "atkins" fad is directed at my MIL. Think that diet helped her gain about 30 lbs! She put out a bowl of pork rinds (the REAL kind) and told us to eat up as it was protein and did not count! Has she ever checked the fat and calories on those things! My kids know not to eat much at her house!

I really think portion control is the key for me. I can have what I want as long as I am aware of what I am eating and what I eat each day. Small portions of favorite foods are fine! I do love salads though. So if I plan to eat something higher in calorie for dinner, I have a low calorie lunch.

 

[Caradana]

I know I knew I had to make healthy changes, I knew that as I entered the work force my looks did matter. But through all of this, if anyone suggested I needed to lose weight I would have killed them.

Oh, that is so true. I relate completely. I was ready to fall on the sword, defending the fact that I was "healthy" and "in shape" and "happy" at my top weight. And I'm sure some people are, but I was just lying to myself. My heart hurt most of the time with it (emotionally) - always feeling like I was giving people grounds to judge me negatively - I still remember EXACTLY how all that stuff felt. Bringing size 14s to the fitting room and saying to myself, god, please fit, please don't be too tight ... awful feeling.
That conversation with the doctor made me SO UPSET but it stopped the little internal avalanche I had. I'm sure if he hadn't been so blunt, assuming no one else had been, I'd have kept gaining weight.

 

[disneysteve]

What is kind of an eye opener to me is that I'm a 22 BMI and 14th%!! Do 86% of women my height and age range really weigh more than me?? I don't get that nor sure I believe it. I read the link that explained the %'s too. Is America really that heavy?

Unfortunately, YES! I think the current stat is that upwards of 60% of American adults are overweight or obese. In my family practice, that figure is closer to 80%. Obesity is an incredibly huge problem (no pun intended).

 

[disneysteve]

It costs about $1.99 for a bag of chips and about $6 for a bag of apples.

I didn't respond to this right away because I wanted to get actual prices. I just came back from the supermarket. The cheapest chips I could find (store brand) were $1.59/lb. unit price so the 20 oz. bag was $1.99. I bought golden delicious apples, however, for $1.29/lb. So yes, my bag of apples weighing about 2.5 pounds cost $3.23, more than a bag of chips, but that isn't a fair comparison as the bag of apples is a lot more food and actually cheaper ounce for ounce. And the brand name chips were 50-75% more expensive than the store brand.

 

[catsrule]

Thanks for the link, BibbidiBobbidiBOO. I can't believe I'm in the 4%! It just seems off a bit to me.

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

I used to go home from school for lunch. It usually consisted of two Banquet pot pies, a plate with 6 or more cookies AND a bowl of pudding (about 2-3 servings) with a big dollop of Cool Whip. They say that weight is an inherited thing but I believe most of it is how you learn to eat growing up. My entire family, including myself, are very overweight. I never saw a set of scales except for the school weigh in and it was just accepted that each year you went up a size, or more.

I tried, many times, through the years to lose weight and was able to take off about 40 pounds, over and over again, but it always came back. A couple of years ago I found a reason to get healthy as I want to be around to see how my grandkids turn out. I have lost about 90 pounds so far. Am having a terrible time keeping that off and have a bunch more to go.

As a fat woman I am here to tell you that I knew I was fat and having tried many diets I know the calorie count of most every edible thing. Having people OINK at me (as they did before I got some self esteem) did not make me want to lose weight. In fact, it made me feel like gaining more and rolling over the people who were so rude and unfeeling.

The sorry fact is that junk food is cheaper and easier to find. My food bills have almost doubled since I have changed my evil ways in spite of the fact that I shop carefully.

It is a long, hard road toward being healthier and for those who started younger, and lighter than I, I must extend my apologies for (in the past) thinking they were silly for worrying about a mere 5-10 pounds. They were wiser than I.

I have trouble understanding people who have issues with alcohol or drugs. Everyone has an issue, just some are more visible than others.

Slightly Goofy

 

[pixiedust23]

Ok I have some issues with BMI calculators. I go to the gym everday and run about 4 miles and lift weights. So clearly I wiegh more b/c muscle weighs more than fat, and then I get a higher BMI, which people interpret to mean I'm fat. How on earth does this make sense?

 

[Chicago526]

As for healthy food costing more, I do have to say that at first my grocery bill did go up when I first started WW. But once I got a handle on the types of foods I wanted/needed, it leveled off and now I spend about the same as I did before losing weight. I buy more fruits and vegetables, but I buy less (or no) ice cream or cookies, so it all balanced out for the most part.

I do wish there were more healthy fast food options. Subway is good but I can only eat so many sandwiches, and the other places only offer salads, and again I can only eat so much lettuce before I turn into a bunny!

 

[gshoemate]

I believe that there are many reasons why people are overweight. A perfect example is my mother. She honestly believes that if she eats salad with loads of dressing, bacon bit and croutons and does 200 crunches a day, she will lose weight. And no matter how much I tell her about the calories and fat that she is eating and that in order to lose weight, you actually need to exercises, she does not believe that.

And in today's busy life, fast food is just easier. I do also wish there were more healthy options. McDonald's has this new fruit salad that comes with a yogurt dip and candy covered walnuts. Great but there are still bad calories in that yogurt dip and walnuts. And when you go to a sit down resturant and order a meal, it is big enough to serve 2 people. There are times when I am getting food to take home or while at WDW, I will order the kid's meal. It's much smaller.

I have done alot of research and searching online and for me, I know how to lose weight. If I eat healthy and exercise my normal 5 days a week (1/2 hour of weight lifting and 90 minutes of cardio per day) I can get down to around 111 pounds. If I exercise and do not eat healthy, I stay around 116 - 118. I know what I need to do to lose the weight but honestly, it is hard. I try to eat clean but it's not very tasty, there is only so much chicken and veggies I can handle before I then binge and eat a whole pizza.

So some of us are aware of how to lose the weight, it's just not as easy as it sounds.

 

[CEDmom]

Ok I have some issues with BMI calculators. I go to the gym everday and run about 4 miles and lift weights. So clearly I wiegh more b/c muscle weighs more than fat, and then I get a higher BMI, which people interpret to mean I'm fat. How on earth does this make sense?

I have this same problem. I just finished Hal Higdon's 1/2 marathon training program just for the heck of it and also lift 3x a week. If you looked at me you'd probably guess my weight on the low side. I'm working on taking about 10lbs off that have crept on over the last year or so but even at my target weight my BMI is higher than it would be for someone not as muscular.

 

[KelNottAt]

Boy, I've really enjoyed this thread. I've often wondered about the exact thing Steve mentioned in his OP. I agree completely with all comments about denial, self esteem, expense, gym class, heredity, etc., etc. However, I also happen to think there is one (secondary) factor that hasn't been mentioned yet: apparel sizes.

Has anyone else noticed that clothes are cut larger these days? When I was in high school, I wore Levis size 10. I was 5'5" and 115 lbs. 23 years later, I still weigh 115 lbs, but now wear Levis size 6. What's up with that?

My theory is that the apparel industry is fooling consumers to think that we're really not as fat as we are. My SIL is caught in this trap. She's gained 25 lbs during her married life, but still wears the same size she used to. According to her, she doesn't have a reason to lose weight.

Just $.02
Kelley

 

[snoopy]

My SIL is caught in this trap. She's gained 25 lbs during her married life, but still wears the same size she used to. According to her, she doesn't have a reason to lose weight.

Just $.02
Kelley

Well, maybe if she is only 25 lbs. overweight, she doesn't think she needs to lose weight.

I dunno, I could stand to use a few pounds, well, o.k., more like 20/25 pounds. I'm really not interested in depriving myself of yummy foods though. Does that make me a slack off? Will my doctor be talking about me on a Disney fansite in the near future? I can see why a doctor would become frustrated with someone who is extremely overweight to the point where it weakens the person's ability to live their life to the fullest, but I guess I don't see what the big deal is if people are slightly overweight. All my life I've known people who had middle age spread, it just didn't seem like a big deal until the last 20 years or so. I mean, if you can't enjoy good food, what is the point of living? Maybe its my Italian background, but I like food, I like eating, and I'll be damned if I am going to starve myself so I can meet some ideal of what I should weigh.

 

[KelNottAt]

Well, maybe if she is only 25 lbs. overweight, she doesn't think she needs to lose weight.

Well, i wasn't gonna really get into it, but SIL started out overweight. The 25 lbs I was referring only came along after she got married. She could actually stand to lose at least 40 lbs. I was just trying to illustrate my point by mentioning her "well I'm still in the same size" mentality.

Kelley

 

[minmate]

Disneysteve--Let met first just say, I'm not clear if you are coming here to vent, complain, or make fun of your patients in a confidential way or if you truly are seeking an answer to a question that has boggled you-- or maybe both?

Couldn't you also complain about anorexics or bulimics? There may be fewer of them, but would you go out and say they should know better -- instinctively? Logic tells us if you don't eat enough you'll lose weight... and if you starve yourself, you will have many serious health problems too. Logic also tells us, it is not the natural order to ingest food and then intentionally vomit it back up... Don't eat it in the first place!

So, Dr.-- I think you're a smart guy. I hope you don't judge a book by its cover and automatically assume all overweight people are the same or that they got there the same way.

YES... I think there is a SERIOUS lack of accurate nutritional information available. AND...there are TOO,TOO many bad choices in foods. Then, compound that with all the different "diet plans" and "miracle cures" -- hi fat/lo carb, Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage Soup diets, herbalife,xenadrine, hydroxycut... etc., etc. and do you remember phen-phen?

Well, aside from that, there are the emotional issues... the environmental issues (how we grew up, what we got used to eating as kids, back when nutrition wasn't really the "craze")... increasingly sedentary lives, aging, etc.-- and then, yes... there's just plain old NOT CARING.

There are plenty of reasons that a person can become overweight before they realize it's a problem.

And, for me, let me just tell you, I had four kids in 3.5 years by c-section(6 total pregnancies in 5 years-- 2 miscarriages). After my 3rd child, I lost 85 lbs. in 9 months, roughly following the Body-For-Life plan. I exercised 6-7 days/week... 20-45 mins of interval cardio daily, with 5 days/week weight training. I kept track of EVERYTHING I ate. I was a health-nazi -- according to my family and friends. But my success inspired them and many have found their own ways to get healthy. No matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of the tummy thing (maybe b/c of c/sections? I worked with a trainer and trained harder than anyone he's ever trained... so he said).

Then nine months into this fabulous weight loss experience, I plateaued for about a month. Wow.... guess what, I was pregnant again. And though I continued to exercise until the day before I had my baby, and watched what I ate...continuing to track it, only indulging a few cravings here and there... I gained back ALL the weight and more... 95 lbs. I was mortified!

But, there I was, back at the gym, 2 weeks after my c-section. I took it easy for about a month, but I kicked it back up to the previous high intensity level, and you know what? In 2 1/2 years, I've only lost about 15-20 lbs. I have tracked what I eat, the good, the bad and the ugly... I've had more ugly days than after my 3rd child, only b/c I have been so discouraged that no matter what I seem to do, my weight won't budge. I went to my dr., thinking maybe thyroid b/c I had thyroid issues in college... nope. But, now, I found my cholesterol is high... She looked at my food diaries and agrees it doesn't make sense (high cholesterol runs in my family)-- but at 31, who wants to go on chol. meds for life? I am still not losing the weight and still doing everything like I did when I had so much success. It appears there are no underlying medical issues.... and I can't lose any weight. To top it off, when I do indulge (say for pizza or ice cream, or whatever for special occasions)... instead of gaining, I actually lose! My dr. has seen my journals and can't make sense of it. Her advice was that some people are just meant to be overweight. So, how encouraging is that? WTH? Why bother? If other people have gotten this kind of response... what are they to do? For that matter, what can I do? My dr. doesn't seem to think there are any other bases to cover. PLUS, no dr. in my whole life has ever brought up my weight with me -- proactively. I have always had to bring it up.

 

[dumboiu]

Steve........thanks for the reminder!!! While I am not fat, I sure don't weigh what I did at 20 (and the pounds sure don't come off as fast as they did then)! I just ate some m&m's and am now feeling guilty after reading this thread..........LOL. I guess I will enjoy my cup of green tea now and repent!!!!

 

[JennyMominRI]

I gained a lot of weight when I was put on Protease Inhibitors back in 98..Most of it went to my stomach in the typical "protease Pouch".When I switches meds I lost some of it,then they put me back on the original one again(Crixovan).I've been taking the Crixovan again since 2002 and have really fought not to gain weight and to lose it when I do..I'm 5.3 and hover at around 132.. I'd love to lose more,but it's not so easy

 

[Chicago526]

minmate,

I don't know what you're eating, of course, but sometimes people who don't eat enough can't lose weight because their body feels like it's starving. If eating more food or higher calorie food seems to make you lose weight, why not try doing that for a few weeks and see what happens. Keep journaling though, so you can see the exact results, if any. At this point it sounds like you've got nothing to lose (ha ha) anyway.