How can I get DS to eat? (long-sorry)

[decker96]

My DS will be 4 in October and he is a TERRIBLE eater. He refuses to eat any fruits at all and the only veggie he'll eat is corn. He will eat chicken and pork, no fish and the only beef he eats is steak. He eats bread, peanut butter and cheese. That is it, except ANY junkfood known to man!! The main problem is that he won't even try anything. We keep asking how he knows something is gross if he doesn't even try it.
Our older DD7 is a very good eater. She likes most things and will try something new. We don't make them eat new things if they don't like them, but they have to try one bite. More often than not, DD will like it, but DS refuses to try.
DH has had it with him. Tonight we had taco salad and DH picked out the hamburger meat and cheese and told DS he only had to eat that. DS refused to eat the meat, as usual (he has never actually tried ground beef). DH sent DS to his room until he was ready to try the meat -- after a 1/2 hour I told DH there was no way he was going to win this one, you can't force someone to eat. We did agree DS gets nothing to eat until breakfast tomorrow, no bedtime snack.
I'm concerned he's not getting all the nutrients he needs as he has refused an entire food group. We do give him a vitamin every day, but I still worry. Our pediatrician does know about the situation and she is not super concerned, but does want us to keep trying to get him to eat fruits and veggies. Anyone got any ideas?

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Eliminate all treats/sweets. No snacks unless they are healthy. He will get hungry and he will eat.

DD refused to eat dinner tonight. She wants a muffin right now. I told her after she eats her dinner she can have one. We will wait and see what she does. Usually she eats it.

 

[Beauty]

I have a 12 year old that has always been like this. He does like Butter Beans, Corn and Squash though......but he is horrible about trying anything new. He will stick his tongue to it and say Yuck, there is NO way he is tasting it.

He would live off of CHICKEN if I let him. He will eat steak and hamburgers but won't try meatloaf or anything like that. He drives me nuts with it. My DH says that as he gets closer to puberty he will eat everything in the house, so I'm waiting.

I don't think you can force him to eat. We never could with J.C.

 

[oogieboogie]

I have the pickiest kids and husband in the world, I think. But you know what... I decided a long time ago this isn't the battle I want to fight.

As long as they're healthy and their annual check-ups show that they're thriving and growing at their normal rate... hey... I'm at peace with the world.

Just so you know, DS3 DOES NOT eat the following: beef, pork, fish (except fish sticks), cheese, peanut butter, sandwiches, hot dog, hamburgers, macaroni, veggies except corn (even that has to be corn on the cob. He's so picky his diet usually consists of apple juice, chicken nuggets or some form of chicken, ramen noodles, and for the time being, frosted cheerios. That's it. Day in day out.

DS6 was the same way until he started kindergarten last year and had to eat lunch at school. He began to like PB&J, would eat grilled cheese once in a while. But he still won't eat mac&cheese, seafood, veggies except tomatoes, corn and carrots.

I think the more you force them to eat something they don't want, the more they'll fight you on it. I was the same way growing up. My mom would make me sit down for hours at the dining table until I ate all my food. It just made me more determined not to eat it.

You need to ask yourself... is this a battle you want to fight or is there a compromise you could find?

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

I follow the advice of our pediatrician--the parent's job is to serve healthy foods, period.

In other words, no you cannot force them to eat anything. But I still put a tiny spoonful of everything on DS #2's plate. And we just do not keep much junk food in the house.

The other day DS ate a bite of raw carrot for the first time in his life. He immediately spit it out and said yuck, but at least he tried (on his own--no threats, bribes, etc).

Good luck! Do what you can which is stock the fridge with a variety of healthy foods. The rest is up to him.

 

[Mimi Q]

I liked what a pediatrician told my aunt once, "As long as a child has plenty of food available to them, they aren't going to starve to death". I am a dietitian, and I think one of the worst things you can do as a parent is make the dinner table unpleasant by trying to force a child to eat. Offer them a healthy meal, and then forget it. If you really feel they aren't getting a nutritionally complete diet, then give them a multivitamin supplement daily.

 

[decker96]

I totally agree that trying to force him to eat is not going to work and I really don't want to turn this into a battle. We really haven't been pushing it until lately. We do have plenty of healthy foods around and very little junkfood. The problem is I don't want to get into the habit of making him something different than everyone else is having for dinner because he won't try anything new.
He did try green beans this year because we grew them in our garden and he didn't like them, but we gave him plenty of praise for trying it at least. Didn't seem to make a difference with anything else though.
It's just so frustrating, especially with the fruit. I mean the kid loves sweet foods, I know if he tried some fruit he would like it. DD has tried to tell him how great fruit is (she loves almost all fruit) and how it tastes really good, etc, but it doesn't matter.
Thanks for all the replies, it's good to know I'm not the only one with this problem!!

 

[Jasminesmommy]

My son is 5 and is nothing but bones. My doctor said its fine. I am so afraid people will think I abuse him. All he eats is nuggets, PB& J, Hotdogs and pork chops. He eats one of the following all day long.

 

[jrydberg]

Don't make anything different for him. At that age, it's about more than just eating habits. It's about testing limits to see what he can get out of you. Making him something different will reinforce his belief that he can have it his way, IMO.

If he eats it, great. If not, don't sweat it (but don't make anything different for him or give him any after dinner snacks if he doesn't eat it). No kid ever starved with good food in front of them

That's my advice. Take it for what it's worth

 

[Charleneluvsdisney]

OK, you have described my son! The only thing different that he eats is ground beef. He will not touch any fruit but apples, no vegetables but corn.

It's cheese sandwiches for lunch at school, yogurt, or peanut butter sandwiches (no jelly!)

He is going to be 9 in April and tries very little new foods. I give him a multi vitamin daily and I also have used Ovaltine in his milk.

People keep telling me that he will change, but I don't see that happening anytime soon!

I know what you mean about starting to make different meals though, I really try not to, but sometimes I do it when I have leftovers of something he will eat.

 

[tw1nsmom]

My DS is also a picky eater. He has sensory issues and is very, very slow to add new tastes and textures to his diet. I do make him seperate meals from the rest of us. DH, DD, abd myself like spicy and a large variety of food. It would be torture for DS to be forced to eat some of the foods we enjoy, and I won't live off the rather bland and limited diet that he can tolerate.

That being said, I do sneak some things into his food. I make whole wheat pumpkin muffins, heavy on the pumpkin (a very small amount of pumkin equals a serving of vegetables). Recently, I discovered that he'll eat zuchinni bread if I call it sugar muffins with green candy . I've also heard of people having success puree'ing blueberries and adding it to milkshakes, pancakes, muffins, etc... You get the idea. Basicly if you can incorporate a fruit or vegetable into a junk food snack it becomes more palatable. Another I just thought of is sweet potato french fries. I've also had some success putting out healthier items as appetizers/snacks rather than trying to get him to eat new items at meal-time.

Good luck. Remember that there are probably foods that you can't stand and wouldn't want to be forced to eat. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.

 

[nuke]

I read a great article about this. The author's daughter wouldn't eat anything green at all. What they did was give the daughter her dinner with a tiny bit of the things she likes and a tiny bit of the veggies. They told her that after she ate everything on her plate then she could have seconds of whatever she wanted. It took them two nights of her not eating much for dinner but she eventually tried and liked the green beans and peas.

I thought it was a good idea.

 

[DisMN]

Originally posted by oogieboogie

As long as they're healthy and their annual check-ups show that they're thriving and growing at their normal rate... hey... I'm at peace with the world.

Totally Dude!

 

[CamColt]

Id be thrilled if my DS ate what yours does.
Hes 4 1/2 and eats no meat(except hotdogs and bologna), corn is the only vegetable too, only mozarella cheese, no peanutbutter...you get the idea. All he really eats for dinners is hotdogs, pizza or macaroni. Lunch is always bologna bread and mozzarellas(not a sandwich). Breakfast can be a muffin or cereal. Even if we get a treat like munchkins he will only eat 1. And eating each meal takes anywhere from 1/2 hour to over an hour. He just doesnt like to eat.
But the doctor says hes healthy, just a small kid and theres really not much you can do.
Good luck! I know how crazy it can drive you.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree with the other posters to serve a variety of food and let them eat what they want. Encouraging new food is good, but you really can't force it.

I've been reading the Berenstein Bears Junk Food book to my 4yo and last night I made my 10yo listen. He's a terrible eater and not adventurous at all. I tell him that he is the smartest kid ever because he can tell if he is going to like a food by just looking at it. Afterall, most people actually have to taste the food.

If my children don't like what we are having for dinner they are allowed to make themselves a sandwich (and clean up the extra mess). If they like the food (ie pasta, mexican food, etc) but are just "not in the mood" they need to eat what is served instead of making a sandwich.

I have 4 kids. My 16yo DD was fairly picky when young, but is SO much better now, my 13yoDS always liked to try new foods (doesn't like everything, but who does) and is very creative in what he makes to eat, my10yo DS hasn't shown any signs of improvement yet and my 4yo DS is somewhere in the middle--will try and like new things if the stars are aligned right or if it's the correct day of the week (enough so that I don't think of him as a picky eater, but instead more of a moody eater).

To make matters harder with my 10yo, we are vegetarian, which limits his food already. I am going to start limiting the junk food that is even in the house since he'd just as soon live on pizza and ice cream.


Oh, time for breakfast. Fun!

T&B

 

[Minnie824]

Its nice to know DD2.5 isn't alone. She eats oatmeal or toast for breakfast, soup (only noodles) , mac ncheese, peanut butter or spaghetti for lunch. Only veggies are peas and green beans. Only meat is turkey from Potbellys (no other turkey)...pizza sometimes with cheese sometimes plain, loves breadsticks and of course french fries. She also won't try things. I'm hoping this is a stage. Sometimes she says she doesn't like pizza even (what!! how can she be our DD when DH and I could eat pizza every day). Oh and she loves chocolate malts. She also doesn't drink anything but water or sunny D. She's starting preschool soon, so I'm hoping that may influence her a little. Good luck.

 

[Serena]

You stop worrying about it. Put good healthy food in front of him, if he eats, fine, if not, then he will next time.


One suggestion of a snack food my kids love. The love to eat frozen peas as a snack. Just poor some into a cup and they'll eat them.

 

[decker96]

Originally posted by jrydberg
Making him something different will reinforce his belief that he can have it his way, IMO.

ITA with this. My mom used to make my brother different meals than what we were having and he ended up eating crap his whole life. He's 22 now and still doesn't eat that well, goes out for fast food, orders pizza, eats hot dogs, etc.

Thank you all for all your suggestions. I do have a recipe for pumpkin muffins that are made with apple juice instead of sugar. I will try these with him and see if he likes them. Sweet potato fries are another good idea because he LOVES french fries. I never thought about smoothies or shakes either. He'd probably love those and I'd get some use out of that blender we've used twice in 8 years! LOL!!

I keep trying to be patient, hoping he will outgrow this not wanting to try anything. He has gotten a little better this year, he did actually try spaghetti and liked it. No sauce, just the noodles, but it's better than nothing!!

Thanks everyone for your support!!

 

[Laurabearz]

We have a picky eater too..... sucks..... She will cry and get very upset and thru the tears admit she is scared to try new foods.

But she is in the 90% for height and weigh so I try not to sweat it.

 

[SpecialK]

My two DSs are the same way. The oldest will try anything and eats a lot of fruit and veggies. The youngest is the picky one. We never forced anything on him because he's a stubborn one and we didn't want to turn it into a power play. He'll be 7 in Dec. and in the last year he has tried and gotten to like a lot of new foods. Just keep offering.