How can I get a copy of my husband's cell phone bill?

[sugarpie]

Now to get off topic a little bit:
The one thing that gets me about this thread is how many talk about different bank accounts, separate bills, etc. I don't understand why or how married people allow that to happen. In my marriage everything is on the table and my wife and I don't keep secrets. If she wants to look at my cell phone, have at it. I have nothing to hide and neither does she. When it comes time to pay the bills, we do it together for the most part so we both know what is going on. If I wanted to have privacy and keep secrets, why get married? I just don't understand that type of thinking. If you want secrets get a room mate, not a wife or husband. Maybe I'm old fashion, but I thought marriage was a partnership and a merging two separate people into one team that works together. Sorry to get off topic on my little rant. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

I'm happily married with nothing to hide and neither does my husband, but we have seperate checking accounts, seperate savings accounts, and 1 joint account. It's not 1950 and I don't see what the problem is with keeping money seperate. My husband makes more money than me and has more of the bills in his name.

It's mostly a matter of convenience, not a lack of commitment.

 

[ktglads]

On the Sprint cell phone bill, the reason why you may not see any paper bills could be due to the fact that he can easily turn those off. In fact they were recently running a promotion where you save $5 when you turn off the paper bills. You just get an email stating that the bill is available and then you have to sign in online to get to the bill. It eliminates the paper trail that way. Unless you would be able to access the Sprint online account, there would be no way of you finding the call listings.

 

[mark&sue]

So sorry you are going through this.

I know you should not involve the other woman but perhaps she does not know this man is married and has children and that she is a homebreaker. I know if I found this information out I would run and so should every other woman. sorry I have no sympathy for any woman that knowingly homebreaks. I would not shout or have a go at her but just let her know the situation so she can make the decision.

One more thing for everyone that thinks you should ask DH when you have a heart rendering suspision that something is going on then I am so pleased for you because you have never felt the pain of a cheating partner. If they are cheating they are going to find every possible way to lie, cheat and hide it and this could last years. Therefore if you really want to know the truth you just have to be sneaky. If you confront them they WILL LIE and tell you that you are being stupid etc etc.

Again good luck. It does not always have to be the end of the world and sometimes it can work out better just not yet.




Susan

 

[momrek06]

I'm sorry to see other ppl are going through this too. It sux in a big way. We have two young children and all my DH talks about is DIVORCE. Seems he wants to leave me...I'm the idiot here who still loves him...

Mommy, I, too, have missed you around here! But at the same time I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.

Just want to give you and those two adorables a big ole

Hang in there and keep us update, we are here for you!!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Thank you to all who replied. I should mention that I thought something was going on earlier this month. On March 16th, I went to look at his cell phone and it wasn't where it always is. My DH is a creature of habit so I found this strange. He left for work and I went downstairs where he keeps the bills and found his cell phone bill. Upon opening it I found my DH was calling a number 5-6 times a day. I called the number and a female answered and I hung up. I then called my DH at work and confronted him. He claimed they are just friends and she was a student in a class he taught. Pretty strange to have to talk to a "student" 5-6 times a day sometimes for almost 2hrs.

This is so similar to my story, that it's scary. In my case, she was someone who was leasing our work vans to us.

It just goes to show, you never when or who is going to stray.

I feel for you. I know what's going through your mind. The second-guessing and the snooping can become all-consuming.

I'm sorry to see other ppl are going through this too. It sux in a big way. We have two young children and all my DH talks about is DIVORCE. Seems he wants to leave me...I'm the idiot here who still loves him...

You are far from an idiot. If being a loving, trusting wife and partner is idiotic, then I guess I was/am an idiot too.

 

[DutchsMommy]

To you at this hard time MommyRN. It does sound like something fishy is going on. If things do go down that road, always remember that you are great, people love you and you are better than him! In retrospect this may be the start of a whole new (and better) chapter in your life. I hope this doesn't sound insensitive - it's just a perspective from someone who's had a similar experience and can look back (as they say hiindsight is 20/20).

Best of luck and remember there is a whole group of people who care about you right here!!

 

[claudia]

I'm happily married with nothing to hide and neither does my husband, but we have seperate checking accounts, seperate savings accounts, and 1 joint account. It's not 1950 and I don't see what the problem is with keeping money seperate. My husband makes more money than me and has more of the bills in his name.

It's mostly a matter of convenience, not a lack of commitment.

I think the key thing here is that you are in agreement on this and are not hiding this from each other.

 

[mickeyboat]

And as for the money issue - I think whatever works best for you is the best way to do it. And what is best may change over the course of your relationship - at least that is what we have found.

 

[disneyfan67]

I'm happily married with nothing to hide and neither does my husband, but we have seperate checking accounts, seperate savings accounts, and 1 joint account. It's not 1950 and I don't see what the problem is with keeping money seperate. My husband makes more money than me and has more of the bills in his name.

It's mostly a matter of convenience, not a lack of commitment.

I guess you're referring to 1950's in part because it must be old fashion to work together or be a team. I wasn't going down that road of old stereotypes that existed then. Please, no "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen" stereotypes for me, thank you. I don't look at life or my marriage that way and neither does my wife. I see no reason to have any accounts that my wife isn't a part of. We believe that we are a team in all aspects of our marriage, for better or worse and will stand together in what life ever happens to throw at us. Nothing 1950 about that. Please don't lump me into a group or time period that is against what I really stand for. I'm not Archie Bunker and my wife isn't or doesn't act like Edith.


My wife makes more money than I do, but it isn't a issue or even mentioned, nor does she need a different account for her paycheck. It all goes the same place as mine and we both know what is needed to be paid or done. I would find it very inconvenient to have 4 or 5 different checking and savings accounts and bills in different names, plus my wife and I having different bill paying responsibilities. I don't care for married couples saying, "Oh that's my money" or "I paid for that and it's mine". It just doesn't seem to be part of a team marriage concept to me, IMO.

 

[ilovejack02]

Just got around to reading the whole thing and seeing that your DH talks about divorce all the time....I wouldnt be just concerned about the cell phone bill, id get copies of all bills and bank statements, any financial things and insurance policies etc... You want to make sure he isnt socking away money, selling off stocks and things to hide cash.
Good luck girl!

 

[MushyMushy]

My wife makes more money than I do, but it isn't a issue or even mentioned, nor does she need a different account for her paycheck. It all goes the same place as mine and we both know what is needed to be paid or done. I would find it very inconvenient to have 4 or 5 different checking and savings accounts and bills in different names, plus my wife and I having different bill paying responsibilities. I don't care for married couples saying, "Oh that's my money" or "I paid for that and it's mine". It just doesn't seem to be part of a team marriage concept to me, IMO.

How do you have bills in both your names anyway? With our utilities and phone bill, only one person gets it in their name, so we did it about 50/50.

I don't see what the big deal is either way. Whatever works for each couple is fine.

When my DH and I separated, it left me in quite a pickle. As a result of that time period, I would tell any woman to make sure she has at least one credit card and/or savings account in her name only if she doesn't have a job.

 

[jenr812]

I have nothing to add except that I am so sorry sweetie! I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are... Sorry to read this from you *hugs*

 

[Disney Doll]

My goodness, it seems like I have been typing this a
lot lately.

Do not contact "the other woman". She is not of any consequence to you. If it wasn't her, it would have been someone else.

If your husband has been "talking divorce" for a while, why do you care about the cell phone bill? Obviously something is going on with someone else. He's talking divorce.

Get a handle on all your finances. Savings, retirement, investments etc. Protect yourself and your children by being on the ball about the finances. I cannot stress that enough.

Call a lawyer.

You are beyond the point of "I have to find out". You are at the point of action to protect yourself & your children.

 

[betsywdw]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. There is nothing worse than trying to catch someone that's being a sneaky cheater. Please hang in there!

 

[PrincessTiff]

I am so sorry, for you and your 2 beautiful children.

 

[kristen821]

If he isn't hiding anything he will show you the bill. If he doesn't show you the bill then I would assume he has something to hide. Since he has said he wants a divorce, I would ask him if he wants to try counsiling and if not then give him the divorce and move on with your life. Eventually you will find somebody that will treat you right and you will live "happily ever after", but be sure you hire a good lawyer.

I am sorry you are going through this and I wish you the best.

 

[LoraJ]

So sorry that you are going through this.

 

[mommy*RN]

Thank you to everyone...it's nice to have somewhere to come and get opinions and advice. I appreciate every comment here.

I have an appointment with a marriage counselor on Wednesday. I have sent my DH the time and date and place via email and offered him the option of attending. My thoughts are if he fails to attend the marriage is probably too broken for us to move on together. I accept that. I really want to work through our problems for our sake as well as the kids. I should mention that the divorce word really only came up 2 days before I found the bill and at that point and time he was talking to the girl.

Right now my main focus is my kids. They have seen far too much of the crying, depressed and upset mommy the past few weeks. I want them to understand that I'm here and always will be for them. I also want them to know that mommy is NOT upset, hurt, angry or depressed because of them. My son is definitely feeling the strain also...

Thanks again everyone. To all those who have been here before, God Bless you for being strong and able to support me now. Too all those who haven't...GET A BABYSITTER AND TAKE YOUR DH OUT! Seriously though, I do not wish this pain and hurt on my worst enemies...hug your DH tonight and tell him you love him...

I'm staying strong!

 

[darlak]

You could always rent a po box and have all mail forwarded there. He might not figure it out until you've managed to get at least one of his his bills.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Thank you to everyone...it's nice to have somewhere to come and get opinions and advice. I appreciate every comment here.

I have an appointment with a marriage counselor on Wednesday. I have sent my DH the time and date and place via email and offered him the option of attending. My thoughts are if he fails to attend the marriage is probably too broken for us to move on together. I accept that. I really want to work through our problems for our sake as well as the kids. I should mention that the divorce word really only came up 2 days before I found the bill and at that point and time he was talking to the girl.

I really hope he shows up and you two can work things out.

Right now my main focus is my kids. They have seen far too much of the crying, depressed and upset mommy the past few weeks. I want them to understand that I'm here and always will be for them. I also want them to know that mommy is NOT upset, hurt, angry or depressed because of them. My son is definitely feeling the strain also...

My youngest daughter was ten when my ex and I split up. She saw things here, that she should have never seen. I went into a major depression and fought getting help for about six months. I was a mess.

Thanks again everyone. To all those who have been here before, God Bless you for being strong and able to support me now. Too all those who haven't...GET A BABYSITTER AND TAKE YOUR DH OUT! Seriously though, I do not wish this pain and hurt on my worst enemies...hug your DH tonight and tell him you love him...

I'm staying strong!

Please tell me that you're not blaming yourself for this? Remember, that works both ways. All those phone calls he made to her, he could have been making to you.