How can bosses get away with this?!?!?

[Aimeedyan]

DH is set to make chicken fried steak for dinner tonight and we were going to clean up the house. We have company coming on Sat, and he is leaving town in the morning for a job interview and won't be back until Sat.

He gets off at 5:30... he calls right at 5:30, which is normal for him on his way home, to tell me that his boss (AGAIN) just walked up to his desk and said, "we'll be here until 8 tonight" and walked away. DH told him he had dinner plans with me but his boss ignored him.

How can someone do that to you? It's a weekly thing, it seems... he did stand up to him one time, to the point of packing up his stuff to leave when his boss wouldn't budge, but it worked out. Boss now knows that DH is looking for another job, so he knows he has nothing to lose by making him stay...

If only we KNEW he'd get that job tomorrow, he'd just pack up his stuff and quit.

Can anyone relate?! Why would a person be that way? I can't image being a boss like that!!!!!!

So now, I must wait until 8pm before starting dinner... I tried to get him to TELL his boss he was going home for dinner and he'd be back, but he wasn't willing to do it... I'm tempted to take it up to him, but I know it'll slow down whatever he's working on.

 

[Aurora63]

Some bosses are like this. My current boss is a little bit, but she is seeming to mellow out a bit recently.

I don't think bosses should expect anyone to stay past their shift without a little advance notice. Some careers, maybe it is expected (Police, firemen, etc.) but an office? Nah.

 

[oogieboogie]

I can relate. I had a boss like that once. He dumped so much work on me just cause I was single and as he puts it - no one's waiting for me at home. I had to stay and work till 11pm several days once.

I think the problem is compounded cause you're DH's boss knows your DH is leaving and he's angry and just want's to be an *******.

 

[chell]

Maybe someone who works in HR can help you out here, but I thought that by law they could not require you to work over without 24 hour notice. Maybe not.

 

[believe]

If your husband is in management then it is very typical....and at my company expected when things have deadlines. If it is something that can wait till the next day...then it waits till the next day.

 

[Blueberry]

It happens more with salaried folks than with hourly folks for hourly costs them overtime and management always hates to pay that out if they can help it...Hope you get this solved, it is very stressful for both of you I know....

 

[katerkat]

Yeah, it sucks. My old boss once told me at 3 pm I needed to cover a 5 pm meeting - I had a prior commitment with DH's colonel's wife at 4 pm. My boss didn't care and told me I had to go anyway. Nevermind that it hurts my husband's career if I blow off his boss's wife an hour beforehand!

Anyway, I hope he gets the other job soon!

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

My boss' boss is like that. It seems if he knows one of his team has plans or needs to be elsewhere by a certain time that he keeps them under control until the very last moment.

Wishing DH best of luck at the job interview tomorrow.

 

[aprilgail2]

That is really crappy....where I work they don't get away with things like that...if they try we just make a a quick phone call to the union and they take car e of it for us. We are not required to work anything over 40 hours a week.

 

[mt2]

Is your DH salary or hourly? This is usually expected of salaried people. This has happened on more than one occassion with us.

When DH was active duty, I told work that he and his job was first. They were second. My boss was former military so he understood and I never had to miss a function. Not easy to do. I got frowns at time but they knew upfront and didn't have to hire me.

Good luck

Happy Thoughts to all,

mt2

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Wow, sounds like my husbands psycho boss here. I must say , his boss in texas was so nice, but now we are somewhere else thanks to uncle sam. He is on a salary and has the lowest seniority so he basically has to do whatever the boss says. He has made him work late when we promised to take the ds out for their birthday etc. Also said things like if your work is not done, than you cant go on vacation etc. so on and so forth. I have learned to not schedule to leave on a vacation until monday since it will take dh the whole week end to do all the little surprises the boss springs on him, just to make our live miserable. Rumor has it the boss is looking for a new job. I hope your husband finds a new job soon. Tell him to hang in there ya'll, better days are a coming.

 

[Jungle Skipper]

I can totally relate to you there! My old boss (the jerk that cut my job) used to do that ALL the time to me! At least 3 times a week..."oh i know its 10 till 5, but I need this 3 hours project done tonight...." argh....I hated that! Not like I had a 1 hour commute on top of that...oh and I was on salary too, so no overtime! Lucky me!

Sigh...Im glad Im not there anymore!
I feel your pain...

Jungle Josh

 

[powellrj]

yep, thats my DHs old boss. He is on salary and commission so they can pretty much tell you when you have to work extra. Even if it means covering 2 to 3 other peoples shifts a day and giving up any kind of a home life.

 

[Serena]

When I was working at the day care. We closed at 6. Ok, one of our parents was always late. Her boss would schedule a meeting with her, at 6, sometimes for no reason.

 

[Tony-NJ]

I'm asked to do this all the time. Well not really asked - since I know what needs to be done. Although no one has ever said it like that. No one ever would! I'm sorry for your DH!

 

[Christine]

Sounds like the boss is being a manipulative jerk. Best thing to do is have your DH just walk out. Fortunately my boss is nice but I have clients (who are really my "bosses") try to do that often. I tell them "sorry, but you need to give me a day's notice before I will stay late. I have children, appointments, and another life at home. I cannot drop all that because you think something needs to be done.) Then I have walked away. I've never been fired and they usually have NEVER pulled that crap again. Now, if a project has truly gone out of control (beyond anyone's control) and something is really that critical, and they ask me real nice I always will stay! It's about respect.

 

[ToyStory Fan]

Unfortunately - sometimes it is a function of the job. More often than not my boss is completely sympathetic towards family plans, appointments etc. But in the interests of loyalty I have cancelled family vactions (postponed really), and have flown to Japan on 10 hours notice (this was a tough one as it was the week before the war in Iraq started).

If it happens ALL the time then I would say yes there is a problem and it needs to be vetted, BUT I WOULD NOT go to HR first. I would talk to the boss first (unless that line of communication doesn't really exist) I know here we have a mentoring program, and maybe if your husband has that he can approach a mentor with it. HR should be the last resort, stuff like that goes into personnel files on both sides of the equation and can only make a strained relationship worse.

If the boss is a "stand-up" guy he will do something nice to recognize the sacrafice your husband made.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Thanks so much for your stories! Makes me feel better that we're not the only ones.

In answer to your questions, he is paid hourly, so at least we get overtime out of it. It just gets old, and is often not WORTH the extra money since he's never home to enjoy it anyways.

He works at a branch office... HR is just a phone number on his desk calendar, based out of Florida. He could contact the DM, but it's a new one that doesn't know DH and would not be taken well.

DH and his coworkers are all sick of it, they each (individually) have had it out with boss man over all this crap (more than just the staying late) and are ALL looking for new jobs.

His interview is in an hour, and I just pray he can return on Monday with a 2 week notice =)

 

[arminnie]

I think it's different if there is really a valid reason - say some documents came in late and you really need to finish the paperwork so someone could close on their house the next day. I know how problematic it can be if all of a sudden your closing date changes and you have movers coming etc.

The worst example of this pulling rank thing though came when I worked for EDS in Dallas. This was back when airfares were really non-refundable - you couldn't even change them with a penalty - you just lost the money.

Just before Christmas a division manager cancelled ALL vacation and holiday time and made people work EVEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY. There were lots of people from out of state who had non-refundable air tickets who just lost everything.

But here's the clincher - all of this was done for a project that wasn't due for ANOTHER YEAR!! It was just a power play to prove that he could do it to them. Most of the employees couldn't quit as they would then have to pay the company almost $10,000 for their computer training.

 

[labst60]

some nights, I WISH I could leave at 8... when we are busy, 10+ and even both days on the weekends is the norm.