How "bad" is pregnancy?

[Pea-n-Me]

it's not the symptoms so much I'm looking for, is how everyone coped with the situation.

I understand your concerns. I knew I wanted children but was also worried about being pregnant. The way I coped with that was to wait a while, we were married pretty young. Started trying finally in my early 30's, figuring like you, we better get on with it. Found out we weren't able to get pregnant, and spent some time on the infertility circuit, which strengthened my resolve to have a child (figured we'd have one). Finally became pregnant with twins at age 34 (yes, called an "elderly primapara" on one of my papers).

Was happy to finally achieve a pregnancy but it was about as bad as I could have imagined (worse, actually ). I was very nauseaus for most of the pregnancy, and started to swell early on. My doctors sidelined me for the last 4 months after I hurt myself turning a heavy patient at work. Based on one of the genetic screening tests we thought Baby B could have Downs, so between that and the pressure on my chest and lungs (which sometimes caused me to vomit in my sleep), I slept very little, if at all. It hurt just to walk, and one of the babies was pressing on my bladder so (you can imagine the rest)...

The babies were born at 40 weeks (one day shy of my due date) so combined they were almost 15 lbs. I had to have a CSection since my cervix never opened (despite valiant efforts to open it, spending 5 nights in Labor and Delivery) and I hemorrhaged very badly afterward (losing half the blood in my body in under an hour) because one of my placentas was an accreta and my platelets were very low. My uterus had to be reopened and restitched with a patch, it was the size of a large watermelon. My doctors told me later after they studied the two placentas in pathology that had they known that day it was an accreta I would have had an emergent hysterectomy, but they didn't know because the two placentas had fused together into one huge one. At any rate, I could have died, and at one point was afraid I would. Coworkers in the hospital came to see me and left scared and shaking their heads, it wasn't pretty. I was so swollen I was barely recognizable. Recovery took a long time since I was still bleeding for weeks afterward, and believe it or not they wanted me to stay on bedrest at home with newborn twins.

It is now a distant memory but I was glad to have had to do it only once.

I have to agree with others, despite my scary experience, I look at my two children and I cannot imagine my life without them. They were worth it.

I have often wondered myself about this "self fulfilling prophecy" business. Did I will myself to have the type of pregnancy and delivery I had? Or did I just somehow intuitively "know" I was in for a difficult time? I don't know the answer. Maybe it was a combination of both. I just somehow knew I was not in for an easy ride.

Good luck in your search for answers. Just follow your heart, you will make it through like the rest of us have. You will find ways to cope, and may even enjoy it! The end result is definitely worth any difficulties you have with a pregnancy, but hopefully you'll be one of the ones who doesn't have any!

 

[lil mermaid]

About the 35 "high risk"...

my "inaccuraces" are based on my doctor. Up here at my dr, if you are 35, you are high risk and expected to go through more tested. Frankly, I wasn't planning on being attacked for sharing what is true in my world (and my OBs office). And I understand that miscarriage rates go up as you age, but they do go up drastically between 35 and 40. I did a lot of research on this when I first got pg and was freaked.

And, I swore that the OP said she was 34, hence my comment.

lil mermaid, I didn't say that drs "want to do amnio"... you even quoted what I said before your response. I did say they "may" want to.

Sorry you felt attacked - I certainly don't feel like I or anyone else attacked you. I really did not mean to make you feel that way.

Anyway, my saying that the high risk statement was inaccurate was based on the definition of a high risk pregnancy - that is, a pregnancy that is at risk for serious complications requiring more than routine prenatal care. Being over the age of 35 doesn't alone put you in that category.

The testing that if offered to those over 35 is not mandatory, ever.

 

[dizagain]

About the 35 "high risk"...

my "inaccuraces" are based on my doctor. Up here at my dr, if you are 35, you are high risk and expected to go through more tested. Frankly, I wasn't planning on being attacked for sharing what is true in my world (and my OBs office). And I understand that miscarriage rates go up as you age, but they do go up drastically between 35 and 40. I did a lot of research on this when I first got pg and was freaked.

And, I swore that the OP said she was 34, hence my comment.

lil mermaid, I didn't say that drs "want to do amnio"... you even quoted what I said before your response. I did say they "may" want to.

I'm 37 and almost 20 weeks pregnant...I definitely agree that doctors/office policies are different everywhere. In Texas I was pregnant at 36 (miscarried) and they were all over the age factor and actually required certain tests. I would not have done amnio, though it was strongly "suggested" and I also had to see a "high risk" doctor whether I wanted to or not.

Here in Illinois, they watched me closely the first three months because of the miscarriage but never put restrictions on me at all. They asked me several times if I wanted any testing, the answer was "no", and that was that. I am loving it! So, the beliefs out there vary widely and I have first hand experience with that!

 

[DisneyPhD]

Pea-n-Me, what an amazing story. Sometime we have strengh we never knew we had when faced with a situation (most of the time really)

I just turned 35. My 1st was born a week after I turned 30. If I have another I will be AMA. That rather anoys me. I won't do the tests. My mother turned 41 the week after I was born.

 

[PaulaSue]

If it was that bad, people wouldn't not go on to have another and another and another....

Honestly it is so worth it once you see the baby!!!

P.S. ~ I am a Mom who was high risk with all my pregnancies and lost 2 angels in the process.