How "bad" is pregnancy?

[Tigger&Belle]

I've been thinking about this since I read your original post earlier this afternoon. In general, I didn't mind a lot of pregnancy. There were things that a didn't like, such as morning sickness, feeling huge in the last trimester, the lack of energy, etc. But there were just as many things that I LOVED, such as the first little twitterings, feeling the baby move, hearing the heartbeat, having a growing belly, etc. It's such a miracle and I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though I can't say that I loved every moment of it.

I didn't enjoy labor, however! I did have natural labor and deliveries, however, which many people don't. I loved most things about breastfeeding, even though I didn't know how I'd feel before trying it.

It's really something that's hard to explain because it's different for all people and you are different than all of us.

 

[swilphil]

To the OP--Pregnancy itself isn't really that big of a deal, but once the child arrives your life will never be the same. Since you are only 30, you have a few years, so I wouldn't rush into it until you are ready.

If you will be 35 during your pregnancy, keep in mind that you will be considered high risk no matter what because of "advanced age" and will be subject to a lot more tests. This may mean that your doctor would want to do an amnio too... which isn't enjoyable from what I understand. Also, the miscarriage rate increases. Sorry to say, but I have to be honest.

The above statement has several inaccuracies. First of all, the OP is 30, not 35. Secondly, at age 35 you are NOT considered high risk no matter what. The doctor may offer to do additional tests, but you are not automatically high risk. The doctor also doesn't get to decide which tests are performed. You are given the choice whether you want an amnio or not, at ANY AGE. I was 37 and 39 when both of my sons were born and did not have an amnio with either of them. With the oldest, my chances were were actually greater of having a miscarriage from the amnio than having a child with Down Syndrome. With the second child, I had genetic testing, but no amnio or other invasive test, and after the genetic testing, the chances of my having a child with Downs went way down. BTW, both boys were perfectly healthy and had normal pregnancies. Of course, having an amnio is every woman's choice, I just choose not to have one.

Yes, the chance of miscarriage does increase when you are over 35 years of age. I had two miscarriages when I was 36, but my subsequent pregnancies were still not considered high risk (at least after the first trimester), but my doctor did not limit my activity at all. I limited my own activity though .

 

[lil mermaid]

This is a hard question to answer, because everyone is so different! Some women have awful pregnancies, develop complications, get sick all the time, or even miscarry...some sail right though it.

As for me, I had some nausea and some terrible fatigue in the first trimester, developed heartburn in the second trimester, and had some pretty bad swelling of my feet and ankles at the end. I gained about 35 lbs and lost it all it within 2 months (please note that I am not saying things looked the same, only that I had lost the weight!)

How bad is it? Well, that depends.

If you will be 35 during your pregnancy, keep in mind that you will be considered high risk no matter what because of "advanced age" and will be subject to a lot more tests. This may mean that your doctor would want to do an amnio too... which isn't enjoyable from what I understand. Also, the miscarriage rate increases. Sorry to say, but I have to be honest.

That statement is not exactly accurate. You are not considered "high risk not matter what" because you have reached the age of 35. Doctors don't "want to do amnio" - it is generally offered to women over 35 because at that age the risk of the amnio and the risk of having a baby with Down's syndrome is about equal. Yes, your risk of having a baby with Down's or other chromosomal problems gets higher as you get older, but it isn't as if you are doomed simply because you have reached the age of 35. It is a gradual thing. Same with the risk of miscarriage. It does go up as you get older.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I hated the morning sickness. Felt sick as a dog.

Loved the tummy showing part.

Hated the widening of my posterior.

Loved that I almost escaped pregnancy without stretchmarks.

Hated that the darn things showed up in the last week of pregnancy (what the heck did I do in that last week to deserve that, I wonder!).


Pregnancy is different for different women and even different among multiple pregnancies in the same women.

I had terrible tailbone issues at the end of my first pregnancy (sitting/standing not a problem--transitioning was a pain in the...um...butt to say the least). This problem was nonexistant in my next pregnancy even though the baby was 3 pounds heavier.


My sister just had her first last and only child--she hated her entire pregancy--but she was little..had a little baby...so I really don't know what all her fuss is about. But she's more high maintenance than me (I think)--so what for me might have been mild discomfort---she just hated all together and wish it wasn't there at all.

She loves her baby--so just b/c the pregnancy was an issue--she wouldn't change having a daughter for all the world. (she'll just make sure that there are no siblings LOL!).



Oh other things I hated--the episiotomy--I didn't have the option--and the doc was in a hurry for no good reason at all. Remeber that 3 pounds heavier 2nd baby....didn't need one for her. I don't get it. Anyway--the first....ummm....potty visit....the nurses said I was screaming louder than those that were in labor. So ask for the stool softeners---if they forget. Don't let them forget. They forgot for me. They didn't forget my screaming though. I didn't know to ask. So ask!

Second baby--they didn't forget---and to be honest I don't think it was a problem anyway b/c no stitches.


I'm sure this is a repeat of what others said--but this is my experience. I enjoyed my second pregancy in the later parts much better than my first.

First baby we thought was early--but upon reviewing the video (sanitized views only---no photos of my nethers to remember forever. No way!)---a nurse was speaking with my sister and my sister said how my daughter was late--nurse comment that the vernix (sp?)--the white stuff, covering my daughter indicated she was earlier. Since I wasn't in the mood to keep stats--her dates were all guess work. So 5 years later---we can say she was early. (my water broke for her).

2nd baby--was late...and quite possibly overcooked. She was nearly 9.5 pounds.....and was in the highest percentiles at birth--and over her first year....she slowly dropped ranks and by her first birthday was in the 50th percentile. So she was late--and just big b/c of that. And we charted by that point--so our records were accurate and she was truly late. She was induced.


Good luck!

 

[tw1nsmom]

You do not have to love being pregnant to be a good mother. Go into it with a positive attitude, do what you need to do to ensure the health of your baby, but don't kick yourself if pregnancy isn't a glowing, peaceful, beautific experience.

Also know that you have a lot of control over how your delivery and even your pregnancy will go. Look for an obstetrician that shares your point of view. If you want an epideral, get one. If you don't want to breastfeed, don't (however, you burn a lot of calories breastfeeding and if you do it for the first three months it will help with weight loss and help the baby's immune system). I tried breastfeeding the twins, and for many reasons I wasn't successful. I stopped after three weeks. It didn't make me any less of a woman or mother, but because I was too concerned with other's opinions and doing everything "right" it really bothered me. Make the decisions that are right for you and don't let people/society make you feel guilty for not following their prescribed path.

Oh, and I'll throw another thing out their. I truly love my children. Actually, I don't just love them, I'm crazy about them. I of course loved them as babies and would have done anything for them, it took me time to fall "in love" with them. What will shock some people even more, is that I recently came to the realization that I don't particularly care for having to take care of babies. I much prefer the age of 3 1/2 and up. Again, do what's right for you. Take care of all your, and your baby's needs, and don't let anyone tell you how you should feel.

 

[mookie]

Well, considering I'm in my 7th month right now with my second pregnancy, I can definitely qualify to answer this one from recent memory!!

My first pregnancy was actually not uncomfortable at all, but it was complicated. I went into preterm labor at 31 weeks, was put on bedrest, and had our dd at 35 weeks. The pregnancy for the most part FELT easy - no morning sickness, just minor backache, etc. Labor and delivery wasn't so bad, either, and I was dreading the worst! Actually, I thought recovery was a bit harder...

This second pregnancy is definitely different. I was sick this time around and a lot more uncomfortable. Many more aches and pains. (As I sit here right now, I have A LOT of pressure on my belly button....I think it's just the way he's laying.) I think it might be because I'm chasing around a 3 year old, too. Either way, it's not something that is entirely horrible...the uncomfortablness seems to be forgotten when you feel your baby moving inside of you...it's the neatest feeling, and you only get to experience it a few months out of your life!!!

Don't know how this delivery is going to be, but it does goe to show you every pregnancy is different.

 

[mookie]

For those recomending a midwife, as much as I hate hospitals, I'd still rather give birth in one, heaven forbid but if there was a problem, I want to be where the docs and equipment are ready to go! I know, I know, women gave birth for thousands of years before hospitals came along, but I'd feel better with medical personel and equipment nearby. Thanks for the suggestion though!

Just wondering if you have an OBGYN that you like. (I'm assuming you do) But, if you are looking for one, I have a GREAT one near you. Regardless, we had our DD at Good Shepherd Hospital in Barrington. They have this thing called the Pampered Pregnancy...it's awesome!!!! You get a free massage, a mani and pedi, and a few other perks if you deliver through them. Just a little something to get you through the 9 months!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Just wondering if you have an OBGYN that you like. (I'm assuming you do) But, if you are looking for one, I have a GREAT one near you. Regardless, we had our DD at Good Shepherd Hospital in Barrington. They have this thing called the Pampered Pregnancy...it's awesome!!!! You get a free massage, a mani and pedi, and a few other perks if you deliver through them. Just a little something to get you through the 9 months!!!

Don't know where the original quote you quoted--

But regarding midwives--ours do deliver in the hospital and they have a doctor on standby. For whatever reason we have no birthing centers here. So for me--it is hospital!


I did hire a doula last pregancy. Best money I ever invested. Took a little pressure off hubby. I was able to let him nap come epidural time. Send him for his dinner---bug someone else other than him. Really--not to make it sound as though hubby lazed about or anything--doula's do not replace your birthing partner (unless it is something perhaps that you need them to do). But it was a nice supplement to the experience.

Now if only I could have that massage, pedi, and mani service. Hmmm--new business in my area. Hmmmmmm!

 

[katerkat]

Honestly? I hated it. Enough that I still, one year later, don't want t do it again. Don't get me wrong - I love the result of my pregnancy - but pregnancy itself? No thanks. I didn't like gaining weight, stretching, getting kicked all the time, peeing every twenty minutes, worrying over little complications, waiting for the nine months to end, then the horrible itching rash the last 5 weeks. Not to mention labor and all the post-pregnancy stuff.

We're thinking adoption for the next one.

 

[Davids-Coco]

About the 35 "high risk"...

my "inaccuraces" are based on my doctor. Up here at my dr, if you are 35, you are high risk and expected to go through more tested. Frankly, I wasn't planning on being attacked for sharing what is true in my world (and my OBs office). And I understand that miscarriage rates go up as you age, but they do go up drastically between 35 and 40. I did a lot of research on this when I first got pg and was freaked.

And, I swore that the OP said she was 34, hence my comment.

lil mermaid, I didn't say that drs "want to do amnio"... you even quoted what I said before your response. I did say they "may" want to.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Pregnancy sucks (I saw a book with that title and I have to agree.)

The only thing worse is not being able to get pregnant when you want to, or even worse loosing a pregancy (or more then one. ) My hugs and prayers to those you have experinced this.

When you look at it that way, being pregnant, even as hard as it is, seems not so bad.

 

[FreshTressa]

I did not read the other threads...but here was my experience...

I loved being pregnant. I had no mood swings...no periods for 9 months...everyone babied me...I had NO morning sickness...I was not extra tired...I went hiking all the time and people would point at me cuz I was so huge, lol. I did not gain extra weight.

So, it is possible to have an easy pregnancy.

(labor on the other hand...the first was terrible....the second was easy)

 

[kristen821]

I haven't read all the post, but with ds I had a horrible pregnancy, but as soon as he was born all that was forgotten it is so worth it. With dd I had a great pregnancy and it was actually fun being pregnant. the first kicks you feel are amazing. going to stores and seeing baby clothes is so much fun. I really like being pregnant, but the first cry of the baby is the best feeling in the world! Good luck!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I skimmed some of the other posts.

I loved being pregnant! I gained a lot of weight! Didn't matter to me. I knew it was temporary. Got a bunch of really cute maternity wear, that I actually liked to wear.

I was sooo excited with each of my pregnancies! Out of my skin excited. Any little ache or pain came and went. Anything that didn't go according to plan with delivery didn't matter in the end. My babies were ok! And that was all that mattered to me.

That's not to say I wasn't uncomfortable or worried sometimes. Some women have it better or worse than others in pregnancy. I had a few bumps in the road. But all in all it was easy for me to focus on the positive.

 

[In a hurry]

That statement is not exactly accurate. You are not considered "high risk not matter what" because you have reached the age of 35. Doctors don't "want to do amnio" - it is generally offered to women over 35 because at that age the risk of the amnio and the risk of having a baby with Down's syndrome is about equal. Yes, your risk of having a baby with Down's or other chromosomal problems gets higher as you get older, but it isn't as if you are doomed simply because you have reached the age of 35. It is a gradual thing. Same with the risk of miscarriage. It does go up as you get older.

Yep...you are labeled AMA or something like that...Advanced Maternal Age! I was ticked.

 

[lil mermaid]

Yep...you are labeled AMA or something like that...Advanced Maternal Age! I was ticked.

Yes, you are labeled Advanced Maternal Age, but that doesn't automatically make you high risk as the previous poster stated.

You know what is even worse than the term "Advanced Maternal Age?" The official term for a first time mom over 35 - an "Elderly Primipara." Ick!?!?!

 

[mrsltg]

About the 35 "high risk"...

my "inaccuraces" are based on my doctor. Up here at my dr, if you are 35, you are high risk and expected to go through more tested. Frankly, I wasn't planning on being attacked for sharing what is true in my world (and my OBs office). And I understand that miscarriage rates go up as you age, but they do go up drastically between 35 and 40. I did a lot of research on this when I first got pg and was freaked.

And, I swore that the OP said she was 34, hence my comment.

lil mermaid, I didn't say that drs "want to do amnio"... you even quoted what I said before your response. I did say they "may" want to.

And this is a shining example of the possible problems with OBs... A doctor can "expect" you to go through more testing but for the most part it's useless. It's not going to change anything.

Someone else mentioned they didn't have a choice with their first episiotomy. Sure you did. You just weren't made aware of that. It's a surgical procedure and you consented to it somewhere along the line. You (most likely) weren't told that you were consenting to a host of things. In fact, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists now DOES NOT recommend episiotomy as standard procedure. A patient delivery person with working knowledge of perinneal massage will be a much better choice for intact delivery.

To the OP - you may feel more comfortable with a doctor attending the delivery in a hospital. Before making any decisions I suggest reading "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth". Many of the "horror" stories you hear about in regards to childbirth can be easily avoided.

Good luck!

 

[Maleficent13]

You know what is even worse than the term "Advanced Maternal Age?" The official term for a first time mom over 35 - an "Elderly Primipara." Ick!?!?!

OMG!!! They couldn't come up with anything better than that???

 

[nliedel]

Pregnancy is like any other huge change in your life. There are horrible days, and wonderful days and days you want to jump out a window cause you cannot handle the _____________ fill in the term, one more minute. Then that thing passes and you are onto the next thing. It's life. You don't have to be one of those women who gets all amazed at weird veins on her ****s to be a good mother.

 

[In a hurry]

Yes, you are labeled Advanced Maternal Age, but that doesn't automatically make you high risk as the previous poster stated.

You know what is even worse than the term "Advanced Maternal Age?" The official term for a first time mom over 35 - an "Elderly Primipara." Ick!?!?!

Oh MY! Now I am even more offended!