host asking guests to bring food

[TinkerwithDis]

Is it rude to invite ppl to a housewarming, then ask each person to bring food & drinks? Let me say it again: its YOUR housewarming party, yet you want each guest to bring their own food & drinks. Is it just me or is that pretty darn rude? When I host something, I dont expect or ask my guests to bring anything.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Yes, in that situation it's rude to ask the guests to provide the food.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Heck yes its rude!!! Why bother having a party then if your guests are gonna bring everything?

 

[DopeyDame]

I think I'd need to know more about who the guests are and what their relationship is. When my friend got her basement refinished, she invited our little moms group over with all the kids for a "basement warming" play date, but it was potluck. We were all happy with that and didn't think it rude at all.

If she's inviting the neighbors or something, than yeah - making it potluck is rude. I'm sure you're not expected to bring a housewarming gift or anything, right?

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, rude. If you are hosting a party, that means you provide for your guests, the guests do not provide for themselves (or you).

 

[jrmasm]

Yes. Same with birthday parties. If I am bringing a gift to you, I am not bringing food too.

 

[mombrontrent]

I think it's rude. If it's a housewarming party I am assuming everyone will be bringing a housewarming gift. It's rude to expect a gift and also ask for food. It's like throwing a birthday party for a kid and asking everyone to bring pop/chips/cake ect. Whenever I host I never ask anyone to bring anything, just themselves However I do think there are times when potluck or asking people to bring small contributions are acceptable.

 

[BearcatsFan]

Yes, this is rude ... particularly if you are also expected to bring a gift.

Unless it is just close family only (like a private family bbq with my mom and siblings/families), I would never ask anyone to bring food.

 

[Pigeon]

Yes, it's rude.

 

[happygirl]

No, I don't think it rude at all. I would be more then happy to bring food.

 

[Sugardimples]

I don't like being expected to bring food to your party and I don't expect you to bring food to mine. It's your party, you take care of it.

 

[Jennasis]

Like a potluck? Or just in general? In my family if my sister is throwing a housewarming, usually all the aunts and cousins will call and ask "What can I bring?" or out right offer to bring a dish of some kind. Those who don't call to ask will usually show up with something anyway (chips, soda, beer etc), but nobody will ever show up empty handed. There is never a need for her to call people and ask them to bring something...but that's how my family rolls.

If the host is throwing a potluck, one would imagine everyone would be asked to bring something.

Everything else would depend on the dynamic of the family/friend group. If you are asking if it's rude, then it's clearly not something your group is used to doing and you think it's odd/rude, so it IS actually rude.

 

[eliza61]

Rude and Tacky with a capital R. (and you guys know some of my family but the T in tacky. LOL)

If some one ask "what do you need"? feel free to tell them, they made the gesture.

If I invite folks to my house, I provide food and drink.

If my block gets together for a "pot luck" dinner and it's at my house then everyone brings a donation.

My niece had a wedding shower, then sent out invitations "telling" people what gift they were to get her. She said she had her house set up as "themes" and wanted to make sure she got exactly what she wanted.
Of course I got the kitchen, and my gift was supposed ot be a kitchenaide stand mixer.
I got her cutlery.

 

[TinkerwithDis]

Rude and Tacky with a capital R. (and you guys know some of my family but the T in tacky. LOL)

If some one ask "what do you need"? feel free to tell them, they made the gesture.

If I invite folks to my house, I provide food and drink.

If my block gets together for a "pot luck" dinner and it's at my house then everyone brings a donation.

My niece had a wedding shower, then sent out invitations "telling" people what gift they were to get her. She said she had her house set up as "themes" and wanted to make sure she got exactly what she wanted.
Of course I got the kitchen, and my gift was supposed ot be a kitchenaide stand mixer.
I got her cutlery.

hahahaha, I would have done the same!

 

[BearcatsFan]

Like a potluck? Or just in general? In my family if my sister is throwing a housewarming, usually all the aunts and cousins will call and ask "What can I bring?" or out right offer to bring a dish of some kind. Those who don't call to ask will usually show up with something anyway (chips, soda, beer etc), but nobody will ever show up empty handed. There is never a need for her to call people and ask them to bring something...but that's how my family rolls.

If the host is throwing a potluck, one would imagine everyone would be asked to bring something.

Everything else would depend on the dynamic of the family/friend group. If you are asking if it's rude, then it's clearly not something your group is used to doing and you think it's odd/rude, so it IS actually rude.

My family is like this also - everyone offers, offers, offers and even when I say no, they still bring stuff. But that's my family.

I've never been invited to a housewarming that was potluck - usually it's more than just family being invited. I think maybe that's what's throwing this over into the "rude" category ... that and because a gift is generally expected at a housewarming as well.

FWIW, I have no problem with potlucks in general ... have hosted them and attended many. But a potluck housewarming is pushing it IMHO.

 

[TinkerwithDis]

If your having a group of friends over and you all agree that it should be a pot luck, then of course thats acceptable and not rude at all. In this case, it went like this: "your invited to my housewarming, but would you mind bringing something like dessert or a sandwich platter". She's a friend of mine, maybe more of an acquaintance that I see a few times a year thru other friends...but we're not close. Not in the least.

As a guest, when im invited to a bbq or whatever, I will always come with a bottle of wine or whatever. If its close friends or family, i will ask what I can bring. Even if they insist that I bring nothing, i'll at least bring alcohol or dessert.

When im hosting, and when my guests asks what they can bring, I ALWAYS insist nothing. Just bring yourself. The only person ive ever asked to bring something (after she offered first) was my sister. I honestly like to pamper my guests and make them feel at home. I dont expect anyone to help me with dishes either. Your a guest, you sit and enjoy. Thats how i was raised.

Anyway, I just think its rude & tacky with a capital T as Eliza said.

 

[BearcatsFan]

If your having a group of friends over and you all agree that it should be a pot luck, then of course thats acceptable and not rude at all. In this case, it went like this: "your invited to my housewarming, but would you mind bringing something like dessert or a sandwich platter". She's a friend of mine, maybe more of an acquaintance that I see a few times a year thru other friends...but we're not close. Not in the least.

As a guest, when im invited to a bbq or whatever, I will always come with a bottle of wine or whatever. If its close friends or family, i will ask what I can bring. Even if they insist that I bring nothing, i'll at least bring alcohol or dessert.

When im hosting, and when my guests asks what they can bring, I ALWAYS insist nothing. Just bring yourself. The only person ive ever asked to bring something (after she offered first) was my sister. I honestly like to pamper my guests and make them feel at home. I dont expect anyone to help me with dishes either. Your a guest, you sit and enjoy. Thats how i was raised.

Anyway, I just think its rude & tacky with a capital T as Eliza said.

Yikes.

 

[NaLisa]

I don't think it would be rude if the host explicitly states no gifts but bring a potluck dish instead. In our circle of friends, potluck in the norm. Host usually provides the main dish and appetizers, guests bring a side dish, bread or dessert. We usually have gatherings of about 20 people (including children) once a month and rotate among houses, but the family with the most certral location and the most room plays host more often than the others. They're happy to host but I'm sure wouldn't enjoy it if they had to cook all the food.

But this is a reciprocal, informal arrangement, not for events which include gifts (e.g. birthdays, housewarming, showers).

 

[Scurvy]

It's completely rude and tacky. You don't "host" an event and then invite people to bring their own food. I think potlucks are fine in some situations - for example, when you aren't really the host but you are mostly just providing the venue for a group activity. So if you hold the monthly book club meeting at your home, or you have a pool and grill so the neighborhood has their weekly barbeques at your house, or your home is the largest so the whole family has their traditional Thanksgiving meal together there, then potluck makes sense. But you don't ever throw yourself an event and then expect your guests to do the work. That's just tacky!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Is it rude to invite ppl to a housewarming, then ask each person to bring food & drinks? Let me say it again: its YOUR housewarming party, yet you want each guest to bring their own food & drinks. Is it just me or is that pretty darn rude? When I host something, I dont expect or ask my guests to bring anything.

Depends...Family we always bring a dish.

I have gone to plenty of different types of parties and have been asked to bring a dish and don't find it rude. Also if someone asks to bring something I tell them if you want to, go ahead. YMMV, but in my circle that is the norm. We are not rolling in dough.

However if the people are loaded $$$$$, then I would certainly feel it was totally odd.