Horrifying confession

[alizesmom]

I can say this here because DH will never know. We have reservations for October. DH really wants to go. Guess who has had to do all of the planning, decisions and arrangements? The big thing is I DON’T WANT TO GO! I know this makes me a doormat.

 

[dish rag]

I can say this here because DH will never know. We have reservations for October. DH really wants to go. Guess who has had to do all of the planning, decisions and arrangements? The big thing is I DON’T WANT TO GO! I know this makes me a doormat.

No, it makes you a wife that is doing something nice for her husband.

 

[low-key]

You got nothing on me, Im a bad bad man

 

[Allison]

I'm not finding the horrifying part.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

Is there a specific you don't want to go? If my husband loved WDW 1/4 as much as I do, I would be over the moon elated!
My husband is a Disney downer, but I do believe when we go with our grandson, he'll sing a different tune!! and if not, it'll be a crushing blow.

 

[alizesmom]

I'm not finding the horrifying part.

Considering I came on the Dis and said I don’t want to go to WDW...

Is there a specific you don't want to go? If my husband loved WDW 1/4 as much as I do, I would be over the moon elated!
My husband is a Disney downer, but I do believe when we go with our grandson, he'll sing a different tune!! and if not, it'll be a crushing blow.

We’re bringing our kids who have multiple medical problems including the fact that our daughter has autism and thinks sleeping is optional. I’m worried that we’ll end up exhausted.

 

[frostedpink]

I would tell him that the only way this will work is if he helps with 50% of the arrangements and decisions. Why is it all on you? Have you discussed your concerns?

 

[Southernmiss]

Considering I came on the Dis and said I don’t want to go to WDW...



We’re bringing our kids who have multiple medical problems including the fact that our daughter has autism and thinks sleeping is optional. I’m worried that we’ll end up exhausted.

I can say this here because DH will never know. We have reservations for October. DH really wants to go. Guess who has had to do all of the planning, decisions and arrangements? The big thing is I DON’T WANT TO GO! I know this makes me a doormat.

No WDW ever mentioned in OP. Folks were confused where you were going.

Does your husband help with your children day to day?

Does he understand that getting them out of their usual routine may add challenges and is he willing to assist with them?

Is he a person who is able to go with the flow if the kids are having a bad day?

Are you able to not over plan and set high expectations?

 

[mom2rtk]

No WDW ever mentioned in OP. Folks were confused where you were going.

Does your husband help with your children day to day?

Does he understand that getting them out of their usual routine may add challenges and is he willing to assist with them?

Is he a person who is able to go with the flow if the kids are having a bad day?

Are you able to not over plan and set high expectations?

Seem like reasonable questions.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I agree, it is horrifying to confess that you don't want to go to WDW! I get it though, I have a son with autism and a daughter with an anxiety disorder, I was a basket case before our last trip. I was worried that we would have a terrible time, that both kids would have meltdowns, and especially how I was going to deal with my man-sized son if he lost it over something. All you can do is plan as much as you can for every possibility and then do your best to enjoy the trip. I hope you have a great time! The people on the DISabilities board were great at helping to calm me down, maybe post this there too?

 

[PollyannaMom]

Does your husband help with your children day to day?

Does he understand that getting them out of their usual routine may add challenges and is he willing to assist with them?

Is he a person who is able to go with the flow if the kids are having a bad day?

Are you able to not over plan and set high expectations?

If the answers to the above are yes, then this:

...it makes you a wife that is doing something nice for her husband.

Booking ADRs and FPs qualifies as a nice gesture if he's "all in" on the child care during the trip itself. If all that is on you, however, then it's too much for him to ask.

Be sure to communicate, communicate, communicate - both before the trip (expectations, fears...) and during the trip (needs, energy levels...)

 

[Allison]

Why do you think it makes you a doormat? There are usually certain things each person in a relationship handles or is responsible for by virtue of personality, talents, interest, time, whatever. Do you do handle everything in your family because your husband requires you to or he won't participate? That would be a doormat.

 

[ronandannette]

@alizesmom to me a doormat implies somebody who is unable to assert their own feelings and needs and rolls over to everybody and everything in order to avoid conflict. None of us here know you well enough to agree or disagree with your characterization.

One thing I can tell from your previous post though is that you have been through more difficulty in life than most of us ever will and are faced with challenges we'd find completely untenable. A WDW trip in your circumstances would be unthinkable for me and a very daunting idea for most. Is it possible you're just feeling particularly overwhelmed at the moment? That would be completely understandable . It's pretty hard to believe your DH is completely obtuse to the logistics of this trip though and that he would simply expect to breeze through without contributing any effort. Is that actually the case?

 

[fab1976]

Would using an agent who can make reservations for you help take the load off just a bit?

 

[alldiz]

I’m sorry you are stressed out. I don’t know the dynamics but as much as I love WDW and own DVC, I can understand your frustration completely.
I don’t know if your a stay at home mom... if so writing the check is the easiest thing anyone can ever do.
Planning and taking care of the kids is the hard part.
If he is helping u hands on 50/50 then please take a deep breath.... you definaty have more difficulties than most and I pray for a happy memory trip for your family
Kerri

 

[alizesmom]

Thanks for the support. When it comes to caring for the kids DH does 50%. Same with house care. When it comes to logistics of any kind I’m on my own. I probably am just stressing out over all the stuff that could go wrong.