Home Daycare Next Door

[Christine]

I am so sorry that you are getting questioned/flamed here. I see no reason.

Thanks, it's just what people like to do here. As well as read into things that I haven't really said but I've been around here long enough to know that it's just the way it is.

It sounds like the situation today is much different/worse than it was years ago.

You say that she now has as many as two aides, which indicates that she has even more children. She has probably taken on some kids for 'summer care' while school is out? It also sounds like the ages and behaviors of the children have changed.

It has definitely changed. When my son hypocritically was in her care she didn't even have one aide. She had two infants, a 4 year old, and before and after school kids. I know I said there were about 8 kids but when I think about it, there may be closer to 12. I'm gonna have to count them today.

Just personally, I have to admit that I would also be very aware that she is openly breaking HOA rules. It might be tempting to shut her down.. But, it doesn't sound like the HOA is going to do anything anyhow.

If I went to the HOA and had one of the members come by and listen, I can probably guarantee that they most certainly shut her down. Especially since precedent has been set in our region for this with other HOAs. But I really don't want to do that. I don't really care so much about "rules" so long as everyone is minding their P's and Q's.

 

[SC Minnie]

Just talk to her. Tell her it seems that the group she has right now are screamers and you can hear them from inside your home. Ask her if she and her aides can keep the children from screaming/screeching/blowing whistles etc. The kids shouldn't be outside without an adult and the adult should be able to tell Johnny or Susie to stop the screeching or they will go inside.

 

[Christine]

Just talk to her. Tell her it seems that the group she has right now are screamers and you can hear them from inside your home. Ask her if she and her aides can keep the children from screaming/screeching/blowing whistles etc. The kids shouldn't be outside without an adult and the adult should be able to tell Johnny or Susie to stop the screeching or they will go inside.

Yes, that's what I'm going to do. I would never go behind her back and do it or approach the HOA. And I guess back to my very first post where I asked if anyone had any suggestions on approaching it so as to not make her feel bad? I don't want to have her go back into her house feeling like I've reemed her or something. I just know when I'm faced with awkward confrontational type stuff, I might not be as neutral sounding as I want to be.

 

[SandrA9810]

i think the biggest concern with the HOA is if th OP can hear these kids, what other neighbors can?? Are the other neighbors nice enough to talk to the woman or mean enough to go straight to the HOA?

I would just go to the fence in the afternoon, and just say "can you keep the noise down?" whether it's to her or the aides. And if you need to, do it everyday for a week. She's probably immune to it, and having some one else say something might make her realize it's too loud. If it's the same child (and only one shieking), maybe she can have a talk with the parent too that they need to work on the outside screaming.

 

[IDoDis]

First, go to your local nursery and buy some Poplar trees and plant them in a nice row in your yard along the fence that divides your property. The trees grow REALLY fast. By next year you will already have a nice "wall" to block out the little ones peeking over the fence. You will have your privacy and a nice blanket of green to enjoy. The trees will also absorb some of the noise.

Second, ask your neighbor if perhaps she could have certain hours where the kids play outside -- like when the other neighbors are at work. Maybe she could plan outside play time to end by say 5:00pm. That way you can enjoy your deck in the evening.

I also like the idea of kids being quiet on the walk-way between the houses. I don't think that's asking too much and would save a lot of hard feelings vs reporting her to the HOA.

 

[luvmy3]

My intention is not to take away her business and I think I was pretty clear about that in my original post. However, as I have found out (and I'm sure she knows), her business is not allowed by the HOA so I would hope she would be mindful of her effect on her neighbors. I'm sure when I talk with her she will make amends to rectify it. She is a nice, reasonable person so I don't expect trouble. I just feel bad about probably making her feel bad.

I think you should just go over there and tell her in a friendly manner what your issues are. I don't see any reason why she would get defensive if she is nice and reasonable. All she would have to do is remind parents that they are in a residential area and she can even tell them she has recieved complaints and that she has to address them. As far as the screamer, she may be tuning it out and nit even realize it. If she knows that the screaming is bothering her neighbors she will be more aware and do something to control it.
We have a home daycare in our subdivision and there are days when I hear them (they are on the street behind mine). I feel for anyone who lives next to them.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I'll repost this again since I've had to say it several times:

Stop explaining yourself, Christine. The rest of us got it. You're just being singled out and attacked by a particular group of people for whatever reason.

If these were the neighbor's actual children, their parents could work to control them a little better if the neighbors are complaining about their children's behavior. However, since it's a daycare, the attitude would be more of, "They're gone at 6:00. What's the big problem?"

It sounds like the demographic of this daycare has changed from older children who were better behaved to younger children who seem to think that their noise is local only and doesn't impact others. You have a right to a quiet house, regardless of whether or not you used that service when it was a bit quieter. I'd say something to the homeowner during the worst of the day (4:00 to 6:00), and if the situation doesn't change I'd contact the HOA about the noise.

 

[sbell111]

Frankly, I don't see kid-related noise that goes away by 6pm to be an issue.

 

[Christine]

Frankly, I don't see kid-related noise that goes away by 6pm to be an issue.

It's not the hour--it's the decibel level. I'll probably have to shoot a video and post it on YouTube because I think many of you have no clue how bad this noise is. It's not just "kid related" noise from a few kids playing it the backyard. Normal kid noises that are no big deal--how I wish.

Just try to imagine at least two toddlers (probably more this particular year) shrieking and screaming along with 6 other kids with lower levels of yelling in the background. And they don't do it just once. It goes on for HOURS. The drill sergeant whistle added insult to injury. My husband grew up with 6 loud kids. He's a pretty loud guy himself. When the whistle blower started on top of the shriekers he finally said "What do you think about that whistle? I guess I'm gonig to have to go talk to her...." I knew it was getting bad. I don't tolerate nearly what he does.

When my houseguest got up this morning and said "OMG, those kids are so loud..." again I felt bad. I have ignored it for so long I know I should have said something years ago.

I think upthread someone mentioned that they have neighbors that mow as early as 7AM. Believe me, I would take mowing over this.
Really, I am not being a mean old lady!!!

 

[goofy!]

I would just go talk to her and see if you can't come to an agreement about the noise and when the kids can be outside to play.

I don't know if there is much more that you can do.

First of all, the noise is well within most city's noise ordinances. Most ordinances limit noise from 10 or 11 pm until 6 or 7 am on weekdays.

Secondly, there is not much your HOA can do. They know about this daycare as they have had a previous complaint about it. By choosing not to do anything about the complaint and by turning their heads and allowing the daycare to exist for 10 years, they have given tacit approval for it to be there. The neighbor would have a very, very strong case against the HOA if they tried to shut her down now for violating HOA rules.

Simplest thing would be to just go over there and tell her what is bothering you. Keeping it friendly and not attacking her business, hopefully you can work out some sort of arrangement that works for both of you. Make sure you do not demand anything and stress that you want to find an agreement that is beneficial to both of you.

Edited to add:
The HOA thing, we have experience with. My mother had a small rose garden that was allowed for 10 years on common property, right next to her driveway (golf course patio homes). A new president came in and thought he would start cracking down on people. Since the garden had been there for 10 years without so much as a letter from the HOA, it was determined that the HOA had given approval to the garden since it knew about it and allowed it.

 

[jrmasm]

I'm kind of curious when it is a good time for kids to be loud outside?

Isn't that the point of the indoor/outdoor voice expression?

 

[Tina]

I find it odd that everyone here is suggesting Christine buy new windows, buy a new fence, buy trees, buy bushes, etc. The neighbor is the one making money with her illegal nuisance, she should be the one offering to pay for some of these items. I wouldn't expect her to buy new windows, but she could go 50/50 on some of the suggested outdoor sound barriers.

 

[Christine]

I'm kind of curious when it is a good time for kids to be loud outside?

Isn't that the point of the indoor/outdoor voice expression?

Again, this isn't about walking around on tiptoes outside. It is about a few hours of screaming in one concentrated area. As long as I stay inside and turn up my TV and I can block them out by about 90%. We can still hear them with the TV on and the AC running. I don't even consider sitting on my deck anymore. It's just not done unless she closes up for vacation. Then we get a normal backyard again.

 

[KingstonGirl77]

Yes, that's what I'm going to do. I would never go behind her back and do it or approach the HOA. And I guess back to my very first post where I asked if anyone had any suggestions on approaching it so as to not make her feel bad? I don't want to have her go back into her house feeling like I've reemed her or something. I just know when I'm faced with awkward confrontational type stuff, I might not be as neutral sounding as I want to be.

I have a daycare next door. I struggled with this exact problem. We live in Townhouse Condos so it is also not allowed. As for approach you could try to blame it on the coming and going parents. So you could say "When the parents come and go with the kids we can really hear the noise. I know there isn't much you can do about it so I was thinking of putting up signs. What do you think?"

This way you aren't talking about the kids being noisy under her care but she may be more aware of noise in general. It could also open the door for future conversations about whistles

 

[jrmasm]

Kids playing outside = noise

Annoying maybe but that's price of living with neighbors nearby. And you're taking about 4-6pm.

Sorry but I don't think you have a complaint.

 

[KingstonGirl77]

I would also like to add before I said anything to her the lady on the other side did. I don't know the details of the conversation but she approached me and said can you believe this. Then everyday when the kids made any noise she would yell "Be quiet kids or the mean lady next door will come out". Surprisingly enough only a few kids go there now.

 

[momrek06]

OP, you must welcome rainy days!

Anyway, hope you and your neighbor can settle this nicely.

I live in a brand new complex of townhomes and I picked this townhome out even though I had quite a few to choose from. I am across from the playground and one of the pools. I love the townhome and the location of it, cul de sac. Ya, the kiddos get noisy and my noise does not end at 6pm. The kids play and swim all day long. BUT its just something I deal with. I do not have small kiddos, all grown up now. Good luck!

 

[Minnesota!]

I wonder if all the people saying it is only for a short time each day or it is no big deal would feel the same way if it was next door to your house.

Eh, I would just suck it up. We live next door to a daycare, as well (and my nanny pretty much runs one out of my house...)....and the noise is what I expect to hear outside with a bunch of kids running around. 2 hours a day of listening to it....not something to get worked up about IMO. Use those 2 hours to do something else - laundry, clean, etc. Then when 6-630 rolls around, enjoy some quiet time outside.

We have MAYBE 10 - 15 feet between houses here....and you just learn to deal with it. I love hearing th ekids laugh, giggle, tell stories, have fun being a kid. It's over too quickly!

 

[Christine]

OP, you must welcome rainy days!

I sure do! And I like 100 degree days. They haven't been out today since early this morning. I doubt she will bring them outside this afternoon because it is SOOOO hot out there. She may wait until about 5PM. Nice....

I was looking at my county noise ordnance today and I do think it meets the qualifications for a disturbance:

Talking, yelling, shouting, screaming, singing, or any other form of human sounds produced by any person or group of people that creates a noise disturbance. Exemptions to a fine can be granted it the disturbance can be proven to be intermittant and not a continuous disturbance.

Now, I'm NOT going to call anyone on her. I'm just trying to get a feel for if her daycare noises would be considered allowable and she could tell me to get lost or if they really do fall into the disturbance level.

 

[Notatourist]

Christine-

Also try bushes that are prickly. No one is going to touch your fence if it hurts to do it.

GOOD LUCK!