Holy High Seas, Batman! Our family rocks the 9/30 Wonder Sailing!

[2Princes_&_1Princess]

OK, since we're back, and I've got no cruises to plan for as of right now, I guess I'll sadly and dejectedly start on my very own TR. I'm not a writer, and not a comedian, so your mileage may vary with this one! One thing I am is hard to please, and a critic - so, keep in mind that this was the BEST. VACATION. EVER. and I can't wait to get back on board!!!

The Ship: Disney Wonder
The Itinerary: 4-day to Nassau and Castaway Key
Dates: 9/30 - 10/4
The Cast:
Me - early 30's, neurotic mother, obsessive over-planner
DH - let's call him Grumpy; not a huge fan of all things DIS, a lot stingy with the cash, and an all-around great guy!
DS#1 - Darth Tater; cute kid, 6 years old, knows everything.
DS#2 - Captain Jack; temper, temper, temper - also, not so great at the whole behaving thing. He's 4.
DD#1 - Cinderella; not the friendliest sort, but very happy to be on the "Disssey Crews" with her peeps, the princesses. 3-years old, going on 16.

This trip report would be incomplete without me noting that we originally had the Category 3 suite booked on the 3-night 9/6-9/9 sailing. When Florida Resident rates came out it was $700 cheaper for us to go on the four night in two Cat 9's so we did it. I wasn't sure if it was the right decision at the time, but it DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY was. If you're faced with the choice between a nicer room or a longer cruise - I say ALWAYS go with the longer cruise. Plus, being on Deck 8 would have been a serious bummer with the noise and ship motion. OK....that said, let's get on with the show!


Day 1 - Embarkation!

How I got any sleep the night before this cruise I will not ever know. I truly have not been this excited for something since the Hannukkah that I got Buzzy the Cookie Cutter! Yes, this was "sculpted graham cracker"-excitement and the kids were joining in! Darth Tater woke up that morning and said, "I'm so excited that my legs are shaking". I was thinking - I know what you mean kid! So, we get everything together and head out for breakfast. Breakfast takes for-fricking-ever, and I am about to lose my ever-loving mind by the end. I get all zen about it and try to accept that we're not going to be the first people at the terminal and it just doesn't matter. Zen, baby, zen! We pay our bill and we're OFF!

Down I-4, to the 408, 417, and finally onto the 528! Everyone keeps asking if we're there yet, and Grumpy finally asks us all to watch a movie or something. It isn't long before we're coming up on a bridge and I ask him if it's the one we can SEE the Wonder from! As we reach the top, we can see the funnels peeking out over the trees - and the crowd goes INSANE. Well, most of the crowd. Cinderella sees the boat and bursts into tears. She's hysterical and we can barely make out that she's P-I-S-S-E-D at us. Why, you ask? Because she doesn't want to go on a boat, she wants to go on the "Dissey Crews". Apparently, we've been psyching her up for the trip so much, we neglected to mention it would be taking place on a ship. Whoops. Limited vocabulary of a three-year-old. We get that straightened out, promise her that she can totally still wear her Belle dress, and get to the port.

Check-in was a breeze. We were a cruddy boarding pass #7, and I totally saw the CM checking someone in next to us and giving her a #4, but Zen was the word of the day. Plus, Darth, Jack, and Cinderella wanted to check out that terminal anyway. I did overhear the CM tell the other person that the Special Guests on the cruise were tons of bigwigs from the WDW company (not Bob Iger, but basically everyone else!) and lots of port employees too! They start boarding about 11:30, and we're on board by noon.

So, we get the obligatory embarkation photo (so awful) and step across the gangway. They ask our name and I manage to get out, "The FXXXXXX Family" before bursting into tears. These were not pretty, dainty tears. These were ugly heaving sobs. Crew members were hugging me and I just want to get out of there. I knew they were the first of many to come, but I didn't need to be the crazy, crying lady from the start, kwim?

So we head over to Parrot Cay, where a lovely girl directs us up to BBB. Kind of a bummer, but oh well! Then I remember that I have some dining changes to make, so I say, "Actually, we're going to head over to Wavebands, I've got dining arrangements to deal with". Which she then says, "Well, they're not open until 1:30, so go on up, have a nice lunch, and then come deal with it." Up we go. We have a lovely lunch. A server sees me struggling with trays and drinks and immediately comes over and says, "Oh, ma'am, you're on vacation, let me get that." I swoon! We eat, I instruct Grumpy to get the kids into their bathing attire and that I'm headed to Wavebands. It's still only about 1:15, but I figure I'll wait the 15 minutes and be first in line. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ha! I get down there, and they are well into the process. There are waiting lists for all nights at Palo and brunch. I tell the door keeper that I'm looking to just change rotation. We had Palo booked for night 2, which was also when we were assigned Animator's Palette and Darth was really looking forward to the show. The door-keeper lets me go talk to the computer-keeper. Computer keeper totally balks at my request. Tells me we should do that. We have table "29" which is the best table in the house and on a window, and blah blah blah. He actually suggests that we miss Hercules and take the kids to dinner at AP that night instead of changing. I told him to just give me the crappiest table on the APPT rotation, which he does. Now, if I was trying to get Palo ressies or switch from late seating to early, that girl earlier would have messed me up. I *should* have gone directly to Wavebands for that. Luckily, it didn't matter.

Up I go to the Mickey Pool to see my kids splashing around. It's windy, but warm and lovely. They play about an hour, we get out, get a drink of the day (virgin) and head down to the staterooms. On the doors are our BON VOYAGE magnets, and the rooms each have a set of the decorations and a cake in them. One I sent to the kids, and one my parents sent to Grumpy and I. It looks lovely. Then, on the beds are the three baskets from The Perfect Gift that we ordered. There was one that was all sand toys for the kids, one that was from me to Hubby with lots of snacks, and one from hubby to me with lovely bath stuff. The kids are excited, tear into everything, and we unpack.

Before we know it, it is time for the Muster drill! We get out there, line up and get our instructions. Then our muster leader says that we should all consider popping a dramamine promptly, as they are expecting insanely rough seas. This sounds bad, very bad, and I promptly die a thousand deaths. I am totally prone to seasickness, and Darth is a migraine sufferer. Though he's never gotten seasick, he's also not really ever been on a boat for very long. I sense that there is much vomiting in our future and sigh.

Up to deck nine we go for the sailaway party! Derek is the cruise director, and the cruise staff is superb! My kids have prime viewing locations directly next to the stage and we dance away the afternoon, until the horn blows, and the tears begin again. These are prettier tears, and I'm glad that I'm getting it together. We go up to deck 10 to look for dolphins and see the port employees waving good-bye. Half of them are on our ship anyway, but we blow some bubbles and go downstairs to change for dinner.


This ship starts a rockin' in my next installment, coming soon!

 

[KristinK]

I can't wait to read more of your TR! You are a great writer - and quite funny! I can totally relate to the tears and the freaking out upon hearing the news that you were going to be encountering insanely rough seas!!

(Plus, my mom is one of the port CM's on your cruise so I am very eager to hear all about it!)

Kris

 

[2Princes_&_1Princess]

When we got back down to the room, we meet Ron, our stateroom host. I kind of love Ron instantly. This is when we experience our first bit of Disney Magic. Knowing that Ron is coming in to clean up after us, my husband places his laundry in the laundry bag, and NOT on the floor. I think I might need a Ron costume of my very own to keep this magic going at home. We put up the door decorations, and as I pull each thing out, Grumpy asks "How much did that cost?". Imagine how thrilled I was to tell him that the magnet tape cost $6.99, the paint chips were free from Home Depot, the DISigns were free from the DISBoards, and to pipe down. Off we go to Animators Palette. (Hey, I just realized the spell-checker isn't installed on this computer - you'll have to tough it out until I get the laptop plugged in!).

AP was really, really impressive. I thought it was so cool how the music, pictures, and everything else changed all dinner long. The greens really complimented everyone's faces as the ship got to rocking. Our servers were Vijay and his assistant Nikolay and the head server was Carina. Vijay and Nikoly were totally awesome. Vijay kept bringing out extra dishes and making suggestions and trying to play with Cinderella. The thing that most upset Vijay was my habit of not cleaning my plate. He was always so concerned that something was wrong or bad! Our serving team completely spoiled us, to the point where the server at Palo kind of paled in comparison. When we got to AP, they already had the table completely set up for the kids, booster seat and all! Great job on their parts. Our tablemates were D and A (I'm thinking they don't want me to use their real names). They were super-understanding that kids were kids, and D didn't even flinch when Darth nearly stuck his finger in her chocolate sauce. I almost died of embarrassment, but really, who could resist the chocolate peanut butter pie?! Secretly, though, I think they were glad to hear that we would be dining in Palo on night 2, while they would be doing so on night 3, so they only had to endure one more night of dining with the insane asylum. We all finished up our dinners and headed over to the Cabaret show with Mike Super.

Mike Super was hilariously funny and did some amazing magic. He didn't even seemed phased by the passengers dropping like flies all around him, or the insane rocking motion of the ship. By this time, all outside decks and pools were closed. It was like Typhoon Lagoon. I have never experienced anything like it. You literally couldn't walk down corridors or stairs! I had started taking ginger pills two weeks before we sailed, and Bonine 3 days before. I miraculously didn't get sick at all - even though I am really prone to seasickness. After the Mike Super show, the kiddos were sleepy and needed to rest. So, down to the cabin we went. There were swan towel animals on the beds, and the kids were pretty thrilled by that - you know, it's the little things. We tucked them in and went to sleep. No room service tonight, with 20 foot seas, everyone was just a little pooped. All night long, water sloshed in the toilet, closet doors slammed, and the little Wonder was like a big, huge, kind of scary, awfully creaky, cradle. 20 foot seas do not make for a comfortable voyage.

With the kids sleeping, and the parents cuddling, we will pick up the story next time, with a shore excursion that kind of never was!

 

[Kay1]

Wonderful report. I think I'll learn from your mistake: Let the husband give the family name.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Then our muster leader says that we should all consider popping a dramamine promptly, as they are expecting insanely rough seas. This sounds bad, very bad, and I promptly die a thousand deaths. I am totally prone to seasickness, and Darth is a migraine sufferer. Though he's never gotten seasick, he's also not really ever been on a boat for very long. I sense that there is much vommiting in our future and sigh.

Well that isn't fair!

My first warning was the clanking of the window screen things in Tritons..and then the muffled announcement from the captain. (Did he say 16 foot seas?!?!??!)

I think you had the concierge muster station.

 

[debnkay]

Great report so far! Looking forward to more!

 

[lunsusie]

WONDERful trip report! Looking forward to your next instalment!

 

[mom x4 grandma x4]

Great report so far, please dont leave us hanging for too long before you continue it.

Kathy

 

[2Princes_&_1Princess]

One thing I forgot to mention in my last report is that Cinderella DID get to wear her Belle dress to dinner and around the ship that night. The highlight was when we happened upon a princess greeting in the Atrium featuring Cinderella and Belle! My little Cinderella was so excited she didn't know what to do with herself. She of a limited, three-year-old vocabulary had no way to express her joy, so she started licking her hands and the princesses hands! It was horrifyingly disgusting and hilarious at the same time. Kind of like some twisted Saturday Night Live skit. The photographer got a shot of her licking her hands when Belle was talking to her that is priceless. That's part of why my biggest on board charge was to good old Shutters! Anyway, licking aside, it was a total magical moment.

So, on to......

DAY 2: Nassau and the excursion that was not meant to be!

We got up at about 7AM on Day 2, mostly due to our little Cinderella's chirpy-bird personality. I promise that child opens her eyes and immediately says, "I'm up! It's morning! Come get me! Where's my Belle dress!", so she woke everyone in both rooms. We drag ourselves over to Triton's for breakfast, which was a little meh. It was OK, but nothing worth gaining 7 pounds in 4 days over! Once we are done, we head back to the cabin to pack up for our day at Blackbeard's Cay w/ Stingray Adventure. This is the part of the cruise that my 6-year-old is most looking forward to, and the part that was making it an "educational trip"! All the kid wanted to do was pet a stingray.

So, we meet in Preludes (?) at 9:45 and get our wristbands, stickers, and gold coins for lunch, Disney-provided towels, and head off the boat. At this point, the Disney guide leaves us and we go with the BC person to their boat. We take a VERY rocky 20 minute boat ride to BC, where we are informed that it's too rough to mess with the stingrays. Dude. First of all, I'm so nauseous by that time, I can't even think straight, but, you couldn't have told us this BEFORE we got on the boat???? We totally would NOT have gone just for the beach day, and would have headed over to Atlantis instead. Plus, did I mention the rocking? Also, the rockiness? Additionally, how ROCKY the ride over was? I could have done without that.

Anywhooo~ that disappointment hit hard, BUT the beach and facilities at BC were very nice. My only problem is (listen carefully kids, this will play into our day tomorrow in a major way) I have an irrational fear of my kids in the ocean. Both boys are good swimmers, my oldest is even on a swim team, but still, he's only 6 and the ocean is unpredictable, cloudy and riddled with wildlife. So, a lot of my time while they are in the ocean is spent worrying. And, yelling at my husband. And, fretting. And, getting worried. So, I was happiest when they were playing with sand toys, or on the playground there. Lunch was included, and was pretty gross. But, it was a really fun day, and even without the stingrays, pretty enjoyable. Now, we've had an issue similar to this happen to DH and I on a Carnival Cruise (Seriously, I'd have no luck at all if it wasn't bad). When we complained to Carnival, they basically told us to stick it, that the tour was run independently, and too bad, so sad. When we brought our concerns to Disney they immediately refunded 1/2 of the charge for the excursion to every single person who went. That's service! One thing that was so impressive is that Disney had a CM and a towel drop right on the dock where the excursion boat docks, so that you wouldn't have to carry wet and sandy towels on the 7 minute walk to the Wonder. They think of EVERYTHING.

We get back to the ship around 3ish? And clean up the kids and check them into the Oceaneers Club for the first time. It goes reasonably well, and DH and I head to Deck 4 for some napping on the cushy chairs. This was a little slice of heaven, I tell you. We both nod off, undoubtedly snoring away based off the looks of passers-by, and wake at about 5:15 to go get ready for the dinner at Palo we have booked. We see Ron and tell him about the presents for the kids in our footlocker and he puts one on each bed every night from here on in. The kids are in heaven, and think Ron is the nicest guy ever! Once we're ready we pick up the kiddos and take them to the 6:30 Hercules show. I wasn't a huge fan, but Grumpy thought it was the funniest thing he'd seen, like ever! Different strokes, I guess. Anyway, after that the kids go back to the OC and we head up to Palo!

We were seated in the best table in the house at Palo. You might be thinking, how would you know what the best table is. I would tell you that at the table directly next to us was Al Weiss, Tom McAlpin and a whole host of the top brass at WDW Co. Grumpy recognized McAlpin from the Travel Channel documentary that I've made him watch eleventy-billion times and noted that he has, in fact, put on some weight. Sorry, Tom -- it's true!

Anyway, our reservation was for 8:30 and at 8:35 a pager goes off. I won't leave you in suspense, it was ours. "CINDERELLA WOULD LIKE TO BE PICKED UP AT THE OCEANEERS CLUB DECK 4". Great. So, I get up and walk towards the door. At that moment hundreds of CMs see me holding a pager, walking towards the door, and all their heads explode. They shuffle me over to the phone, call the CMs at OC, and tell them to Shhhhhh! I speak to them and they tell me she's fine, calm and happy, and they won't be paging us again. (HINT: So not true!). I sit back down and Sean from South Africa, begins our service at Palo. I had the buffalo mozzarella and tomatoes (was so-so), and the lobster ravioli (another meh). Grumpy had the Lamb (oh, holy goodness!) and a side of the pumpkin risotto (seriously heaven in your mouth).

We got a lovely bottle of wine and were ordering dessert, when, you guess it....a pager goes off. Again, no suspense here, it was ours. "DARTH TATER HAS HAD A POTTY ACCIDENT AND NEEDS TO BE PICKED UP AT OCEANEERS CLUB ON DECK 4". Uh, dude. Darth is 6!! 6!! He hasn't had a potty accident in like, days. So, my husband goes to get the kids and I take his souffle (DELISH!) and my panna cotta (eh.) to the stateroom. So, I'm freaking out because I've read that if you have a potty accident in OC, you have to sit out for 24 hours in case of illness. I'm here to tell you that this only applies to poopy accidents or kids who aren't really potty trained. If your six year old is too shy to ask for a bathroom and pees himself, he'll have to sit on the potty mat until you get him, but he can come back.

We order the kids Mickey Bars, Captain Jack gets the "Cake at Sea", which was strawberry cheesecake, and tons of cookies, and put them to bed (after we brush their teeth - what kind of neglectful parents do you think we are?!). Ron had made Monkey towel animals, which we my favorite of the cruise. They promptly pass out and snore as we enjoy the remnants of our night at Palo.

Day 3 - Castaway Cay - a slice of heaven that ends with a total nightmare.

 

[disneyfaninaz]

Really enjoying the TR. Who says you can't write and aren't funny.

 

[PurplePrincess4]

One thing I forgot to mention in my last report is that Cinderella DID get to wear her Belle dress to dinner and around the ship that night. The highlight was when we happened upon a princess greeting in the Atrium featuring Cinderella and Belle! My little Cinderella was so excited she didn't know what to do with herself. She of a limited, three-year-old vocabulary had no way to express her joy, so she started licking her hands and the princesses hands! It was horrifyingly disgusting and hilarious at the same time. Kind of like some twisted Saturday Night Live skit. The photographer got a shot of her licking her hands when Belle was talking to her that is priceless. That's part of why my biggest on board charge was to good old Shutters! Anyway, licking aside, it was a total magical moment.

So, on to......

OMG I am laughing out loud reading this! That must have been side splitting!

 

[Silly Little Pixie]

Day 3 - Castaway Cay - a slice of heaven that ends with a total nightmare.

Soooo... leaving us hanging, are you now?
Can't wait to hear more!

 

[SunKat]

I'm loving your trip report. In fact, it's so good, that I only just now realized "hey, she doesn't have any pictures in her report!". You write so well and are very funny. I didn't even miss the lack of photo's. I'm afraid I'll have the same reaction as you when our name is announced on the ship. I'm so bad in fact that I tear up when I read trip reports about people tearing up. So basically, I get all teary over people that I don't even know because they're all teary. I may need professional help for this.

Looking forward to your next report.

 

[Neya]

Loved your report!!!

You know what caught my eye??You nicknamed your dh grumpy and guess what t-shirt character I bought for my dh at the Disney store??? Yep the one and only then I found one for me at the disney outlet store (online) that has a picture of grumpy inside of a heart What is it with dh and cruise prep?I get sooo excited and read reports, I pack, make lists do the happy dance while hubby acts all cool We are taking our first DC in let's seee.... 9 days I have a 2 1/2 year old who has no idea what's going on, she knows we are going on a trip, she pack some dolls and clothes in her little plastic suitcase and thinks we are leaving like tomorrow. I wish!!

Thanks for a great TR Lisa!

Neya

 

[Hannosmom]

Great report! Can't wait to hear the rest of the adventures of the "licking Princess" and her entourage.

 

[Kay1]

I don't think your concerns regarding the ocean are irrational. It's the wilderness, not a swimming pool or a bathtub and you're right to be on guard.

 

[2Princes_&_1Princess]

Day 3 - Castaway Cay!

I stayed up a lot of the night watching the bridge report channel. I was totally worked up that we weren't going to be able to dock at CC due to the seas. When I finally felt us backing in to the pier, I relaxed. Incidentally, uh, perhaps the reason it's so hard to dock at CC is *because* you are backing in? Who knows, and it doesn't matter because dock we did. The kids were up and looking out the portholes and begging for some breakfast. We decided that the best place to view The Flying Dutchman would be from the top deck, so up we went.

We got everyone breakfast at Beach Blanket Bingo, which I was a little under-impressed with. I thought the sticky buns were just OK, and I wasn't overly thrilled with the bacon. The kids gobbled down their Mickey waffles and asked one hundred million questions about CC and The Flying Dutchman. Darth Tater could not understand why the didn't finish the back, Captain Jack only wanted to know if it was really haunted. Cinderella was very quiet and looking out at the water. Then, in a silent moment, when everyone seemed to be enjoying the view, she screams, "AHHHHHHH! Look it's the Kraken!" clear as day. Everyone around was laughing so hard they could barely breathe. That Cinderella is quite a character. If we didn't love her so much, we'd have totally left her on CC.

So, of course, it starts to rain. Nothing heavy, but the skies are menacing. We take the time to walk around the ship and explore. Note to everyone: shops onboard are closed when you are in CC. So, we head back down to the room to pack up and hope for the best with the weather.

All bags packed we head down for our day of fun at CC. We disembark and take the tram over to the Family Beach. Halfway through the ride, we notice the REAL Captain Jack Sparrow taking pictures by TFD. My kids lose their minds and start hollering at me for getting on the tram when we clearly should have walked. Like *I* was the one complaining about having to carry the buckets and towels all that way. We get off the tram and head BACK on the trail for CJSparrow, only to get there as he is leaving. I'm very popular about now and the whining will not cease. So, guess what?! Time for an unscheduled stop at Scuttle's Cove!

The kids get checked in and off we go to Serenity Bay! Serenity Bay is so lovely. It's.....serene! My husband, a hater of all things time-share and no huge fan of Disney instantly says, "The day Disney builds an adults-only resort on Serenity Bay is the day we join DVC". Are you listening fatter Tom McAlpin?! If you build it, we will buy it. We get our rafts and head down to the water. Did you know that there are NO waves in Serenity Bay? It's like they're simply not allowed to break the silence there. Also? There's some tool in the water who is impressed with how shallow it is and is SCREAMING to the world that he can walk on water. Note to TOOL: That'd be funny on the teen beach - go there. TOOL! Anyway, Grumpy and I float around a bit and I see a fish of rather large size and am kind of done with the ocean. (Refresher: Ocean is not trustworthy) I leave him out there to be devoured by the yellow snappers and go nap on a chaise lounge and take pictures of my feet. Pretty red toenails. Fat thighs enter the shot and I nap some more. Grumpy comes up for his nap and we enjoy the silence that is SB.

I get hot, and also bored (FINE! So, I had to pee! - sue me.) so I wander into the ocean again. As I am marveling at the clear water and looking at the ocean's bottom I see a pretty little shell. I think, "Self, that looks like the kind of shell that would have a crab in it. The kids would like to see that" So, I make a move to pick the shell up with my monkey toes. You see where this is going, right? Yeah, I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box. So, as soon as I wrap my monkey toes around the shell, the crab pinches me. Hard. In a mean way. I yelp and go scurrying out of the water. Grumpy looks at me as if I am a moron for picking up a shell that might have a crab with my toes. He goes into the water, gets the shell and confirms it does indeed have a crab. We decide not to torture it further and place it back in the ocean. Around this time, a couple a little further out starts calling out that there's a stingray in the water. Now, I've read the DISBoards for long enough to know that there's a huge net around CC to keep all large ocean life out, so I assume that this is a teeny thing and wade out to check it out. I am here to tell you, if said net exists, it has a gaping hole it it somewhere. (McAlpin, get on that OK??) This was a much bigger ray than I had anticipated and I scurried out of the water to the relative safety of the BBQ.

Oh, heaven on earth, the BBQ. Yummy fruit, flame broiled burgers, and the best ribs I've had in a long, long time. Plus? Soft serve cookie-dough ice cream with HUGE chunks of cookie dough in it! Soft serve with chunks? Now, that's some Disney magic right there. I eat my weight in food and we board the tram to go back to the family beach and get the children. Honestly, we should have just stayed at SB.

We scurry over to Scuttle's Cove to retrieve the devils. They are happy to see us and to get into the water. We pick some chairs up at the way top of the beach (Warning, warning, this was big error!) and head down to the water. At this point, the kids are squirrelly, and my mom alarm is going INSANE. It's SCREAMING - get these bo-bos back to the ship for a nap. And I'm all like, "Hellooooo mom-alarm, it's my ONLY DAY EVER on CC and we're staying here until the boat leaves". Next time I will so totally listen to my mom alarm. We swim, the kids go play on the wooden playground of death in the middle of the ocean, and then Darth Tater, he of the swim team fame decides to do laps in the ocean. Besides making me weak with fear, he COMPLETELY douses another guest with his splashing kicks. When he surfaces for air, I snap at him to apologize for getting her head all wet. He totally refuses, and thus the nightmare begins.

Why I did not just gather everyone up and go to the ship right then, I will never, never understand. I *knew* this was going south fast, and yet, I really felt like I needed to stay at CC and have FUN! So, I tell him to go all the way back to our chairs and sit for time-out. I follow him up there and start handing out the punishments. If you don't apologize, I'm returning your precious Halloween Costume, no trick-or-treating, forget Channukkah, the list goes on. He's fuh-reaking out SCREAMING that he's SCAAARRRREEEEDDDDD to tell her he's sorry, that he doesn't want to live with me anymore, the whole deal. We're seriously the poster children for terrible parenting right then. He's disturbing the whole beach and I'm getting angrier by the minute. After 45 minutes of this nonsense I'm near tears. The problem was this, if he didn't just suck it up and apologize, we were NEVER going to see this lady (who, BTW, could have cared less that he splashed her, if you're keeping score at home) again, and I was going to have to follow through on these harsh punishments. I never dole out a punishment I'm not following through on. So, my choices were to just say forget it, get back in the water, and have a good time (why is that SO obvious now) or continue to fight with a 6 year old and ruin everyone's day.

Grumpy comes all the way back up with Cinderella and Captain Jack in tow and says that he'll bring Darth over to the lady and say excuse me, and that all Tater has to say is sorry. Darth finally agrees and they head back to the ocean. Pay attention now, because this is when the REAL nightmare starts. Grumpy and Tater and heading to the ocean, and Cinderella pipes up that she's going too. Cinderella follows Grumpy around all day, and I yell - "Here comes the princess" and assume he hears me. (WARNING! Classic parenting error. ALWAYS get the eye contact confirmed nod when you transfer ownership of a child). I order a frozen alcoholic drink and take my KTTW card out of the hard plastic case around my neck and leave the case open (WARNING: Do not leave hard, yellow, plastic cases containing your credit card, EVERYONE's KTTW cards, and the adults' picture IDs open around your neck). After I place my drink order, and chat with the server about what I'd like for about an hour, I glance way, way, down at the ocean and my heart stops. Seriously, I'm crying just picturing it in my head. There, by herself, in WATER UP TO HER NECK IN THE OCEAN is Cinderella. Grumpy and Tater are nowhere to be seen. I can't even remember what I said to Captain Jack, but I know that I'm running toward the ocean, shreiking, "Grumpy! Grumpy!" trying to find him and get his attention. I'm in the ocean, I grab Cinderella and start to cry. Obviously, I've created a commotion and people are coming over to see what the hell happened. A man that was right next to her says, "Oh, she can't swim", and I'm like, "NO!!". Grumpy sees the commotion and wades over just as I realize that the hard, yellow, plastic, open container around my neck is......EMPTY, and the water is murky.

I scream that my KTTW cards and ID are missing, and the lovely, lovely people around start searching for a mask and goggles. I realize they may have fallen out in my very Pamela Anderson-like jog down the beach and find them all, safely on the sand.

I'm so shaken up that I can't move, and we pack up our stuff and head back to the Wonder. I'm SEETHING mad at Grumpy for not paying more attention, at Darth for creating a scene, at Cinderella for getting in the ocean without an adult, and at myself for not behaving better. I can't even speak to anyone until we're back in the cabin. We shower everyone off and head to our beds for a nap.

Stay Tuned for -- loooonng naps and an incredible night!

 

[CraftyMouse]

You REALLY have a great writing style. I feel like I'm right there with you (hands safely stowed in my pockets to avoid Cinderella licks!).

Can't wait for more.

 

[Monica D]

I'm really not laughing at you, but that is totally something that would happen to me! And you scored extra points for using the word "tool" to describe a moron.

 

[2Princes_&_1Princess]

Thanks everyone, for the compliments! I'm going to try to get the whole report up this weekend, before I have to head back to work. The vacation gets a lot more relaxing from here on out.