HOLLYWOOD GROUP PROTESTS WAR, LACK OF GOOD ROLES FOR WOMEN OVER FORTY
France, Germany, Russia Join in Call for Better Scripts
A group of unemployed Hollywood film actors has planned a march on Washington, D.C. for later today to protest the war with Iraq and the lack of good roles for women over forty, a spokesperson for the group said.
The Bush Administration is so focused on Saddam Hussein, theyve completely lost sight of the crisis in womens film roles, said Gillian Hartnell, spokesperson for the Hollywood Coalition for Peace and Better Parts.
We may not know whether Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction or not, but one thing we do know is that most of us have not gotten any film work in at least a decade, Ms. Hartnell added.
Ms. Hartnell said that many in her group were frustrated by the resources that were being poured into impending military action against Baghdad that could be used instead to fund scripts showing women over forty being strong, sexy and vibrant.
And instead of offering Turkey $30 billion to base American troops there, we should be using that money to pay for more flattering 8X10 glossies of unemployed actresses, Ms. Hartnell said.
The foreign ministers of France, Germany and Russia plan to join the groups march in Washington today, with French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin excoriating the U.S.s treatment of actresses over forty as disgraceful.
I just rented, how you say, Scooby-Doo, Monsieur de Villepin said. Where were the women in that film? The screenwriters gave all the best lines to the dog. You Americans disgust me.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
France, Germany, Russia Join in Call for Better Scripts
A group of unemployed Hollywood film actors has planned a march on Washington, D.C. for later today to protest the war with Iraq and the lack of good roles for women over forty, a spokesperson for the group said.
The Bush Administration is so focused on Saddam Hussein, theyve completely lost sight of the crisis in womens film roles, said Gillian Hartnell, spokesperson for the Hollywood Coalition for Peace and Better Parts.
We may not know whether Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction or not, but one thing we do know is that most of us have not gotten any film work in at least a decade, Ms. Hartnell added.
Ms. Hartnell said that many in her group were frustrated by the resources that were being poured into impending military action against Baghdad that could be used instead to fund scripts showing women over forty being strong, sexy and vibrant.
And instead of offering Turkey $30 billion to base American troops there, we should be using that money to pay for more flattering 8X10 glossies of unemployed actresses, Ms. Hartnell said.
The foreign ministers of France, Germany and Russia plan to join the groups march in Washington today, with French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin excoriating the U.S.s treatment of actresses over forty as disgraceful.
I just rented, how you say, Scooby-Doo, Monsieur de Villepin said. Where were the women in that film? The screenwriters gave all the best lines to the dog. You Americans disgust me.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
