Hit a wall and don't know how to push through

[Mickeyistheman]

Hello Everyone,

3 months ago I had weighed myself and for the first time in a long time I was not happy with the results. This past year alot had gone on in the family and we lost our home, had major issues with my job and my boss, and well I have not been happy in my love life as well. It sort of was just going downhill.

A great friend came along and well I have a great place to live (for now), my job did a total turn around and it has been wonderful, I took a Big BREAK from dating and wanted to focus on me for once, I usually always worry about everyone else.

I started going back to the gym, eating much healthier, salads for lunch, cut out all the bad stuff, fast food, soda, desserts etc. I had lost about 18lbs. I was really happy and feeling really good.

Then about 2 weeks ago I hit a wall, I don't want to work out, I have been really tired, no motivation. Starting to eat the bad stuff again.

I got really upset with myself, my very best friend is also overweight like myself but she doesn't want to lose. I know many have said lose the weight for yourself which I want to do, but I am being honest. I am going to be single if I don't start losing some weight. I am not stupid by any means and I know looks matter.

Just looking for advice on how to push through this wall and get back on track. My friends are great but instead of doing something fun or active its more like let's stay in and watch a movie and eat. Well, I love movies but why can't we go for a walk first or even do indoor mini golf, bowling anything like that.

I do love myself and have been telling myself that I can do this, but its getting hard and I am lonely. I have always been outgoing but because I am not happy with my appearance its getting difficult to be myself.

My other motivation is that I won through work a 14 day trip to Australia and New Zealand in the fall and I want to be able to do everything that I can since it is a once in a lifetime vacation.

Thanks everyone

 

[CrystalCastle]

First I want to say that you are awesome to recognize you are having a hard time with this and to reach out to try to solve it. So many people don't do that for whatever their reason and they will continue to stay stuck. I'm glad your living and job situation have also improved. Stress is just awful on the body and you were really dealing with a lot in having both home and work stress.

When working out are you looking for people to workout with? It sounds like you'd like your friends to do these things with you. I'm sorry if I am misunderstanding that. If so, is there any groups in your area either through your gym or maybe even that you can find online that do things like hikes, walks, etc together? Like a running group but not running if that's not your interest.

If you're just having trouble sticking with working out in general, I am there with you. I'm currently losing weight and it's hard sometimes for me to stay motivated. Especially with a husband who pretty much eats whatever he wants and not gain. When I find myself not wanting to workout or staring down at some food I really shouldn't be eating, I just remind myself that this body is not me. I was a healthy weight before and I will be again and soon! I also joined a group online and we support each other through the rough spots.

We're all here for you and I wanted to say congratulations on winning that trip. That is incredible and I hope you have a great time!

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Thank you so much Crystal Palace,

My schedule is an issue as many of my friends are either Teachers or Nurses and their schedules do not work well with mine, so I am pretty much on my own as far as a work out buddy.

I wanted to take a Zumba class that just came about in our town and I was really excited because that is something that I know I would really enjoy. Love to dance myself and to lose weight while doing it even better. However again doesn't fit in my schedule. I tend to work past 7pm even 8pm certain nights.

I am NOT a morning person. I tried getting up early and going to the gym but I was NOT motivated at all and was grumpy the rest of the entire day. I tried it for 2 weeks and said that isn't working for me.

Now that the weather is nicer and its light out past 7pm, walking will be good besides going to the gym.

My concern though is that its not enough exercise and I recently did something to my right knee and it really hurts so now I just have been doing some low impact stuff and other things on my wii as well.

I also realized that food can be addicting and its really scarey because you can't cut it out of your life. My best friend is not the most supportive because for her she is happy where she is. My roomie on the other hand is the opposite but our schedules don't work out well so that we could take a walk once I get home or even have dinner together.

So I feel alone, not sure about joining a group because of my schedule.

That is why I came on here looking for advice and some support.

 

[crewmatt]

I would recommend joining a group, the rigidity of the schedule can be good - especially in the beginning. It takes 21 days to form a habit. Until then a group is the best thing to get you on the track.

Another thing that really plays well into it, is to take up fitness for goals other than weight loss/physical appearance. I know this is really hard, and maybe I'm putting the carriage before the horse here, but for the most part the people I see who succeed in losing weight do so not because they want to lose weight, but because they find something they really enjoy that makes losing the weight easy. Obviously on this board you'll find people who love to run. I certainly love to run and it was 100% my entry into endurance type sports - which happen to lend themselves to keeping weight off. But you'll also meet people who love to bike, or roller skate - one of my friends even does roller derby. Another one of my friends lost a lot of weight by taking up rock climbing. I cant even begin to tell you how many I know lost a lot of weight by taking up rowing (I was on a college rowing team and we had a novice team and would take any walk on onto that team). I also know people who are addicted to zumba to put it lightly, and others who just enjoy going to the gym. Basically the BEST way to lose weight is to make the weight loss simply a side effect of something you enjoy doing.

Also set up goals that arent tied to weight loss once you find an activity you want to commit to. I'd take the next 2 weeks and try to SCHEDULE yourself to try for at least an hour each a few different physical activities.

As far as the exhaustion, how intense have your workouts been. Duration, exertion level, heart rate if you happen to know it. You could be dehydrated - most common. Also potentially a vitamin deficiency - a multi will make short work of that if thats the case. Finally you could be overdoing it, but I'd really have to know your workout schedule and levels of effort to diagnose it.

As far as food thats addicting - the easiest thing you can do is not drink your calories. You have no idea how huge that is. Cut out juice, soda (yes even diet - oh 100% definately cut diet soda). In their place - I recommend putting small cut up fruit in a pitcher of water. And if you're really craving juice, eat a piece of fruit and drink a glass of water.

 

[CrystalCastle]

Your schedule sounds very busy! Is there anyway you can go for a walk during your lunch break at work? My husband has started doing that since he works 10 hour days and has a 4 hour commute.

Have you been keeping track of your calories? I never used to but started 3 weeks ago and it really made a difference. I use myfitnesspal.com but there are other similar websites that do the same thing. You just enter what you eat and it calculates it all for you. I thought I was eating very healthy but still not losing. With that tool I found I was actually eating to big of a serving and needed to adjust it.

As for support, we're here for you day or night. I know it's not the same as having someone right there with you in person but I hope it helps.

Trying to be fit and having a tough schedule is really challenging. I know you can do it.

 

[Reddy]

Can you check with the gym for classes at 9pm??
or can you post that you are looking for a walking buddy for certain days at a certain time that fits your life??

I think you need to talk to your best friend - let her know that she is hurting you by not supporting you isn't that what friends do?? maybe you need to say "Hey, let me get my walking in first before the movie"

 

[Mickeyistheman]

This weekend was tough due to MANY family stress factors and it wasn't about Easter. That was a nice day.

I am trying to get myself together. I bought a nice purple notebook that will fit in my purse and that will be my food journal. I had one but again I just stopped because I was not motivated to do so.

I also am going to try and put a menu together for the week that way its all done and taken care of.

I didn't have any dessert yesterday, it looked good but I wasnt' hungry so I didn't have any. I felt a little weird but I was full.

I drank unsweetened iced tea and had more veggies than meat, no potatoes either - they actually didnt' have any.

Just trying to get myself together and not worry about the stress that has been bogging me down. That is what makes me eat things that I should not.

Once I get that under control I am going to try and find ways to start walking once I come home from work, even if its just 15 mins to start and move up from there.

It's tough out there just trying to get it together.

 

[CrystalCastle]

You're off to a really great start. Just getting your head in the right place is really hard sometimes. It sounds like you are committed to making the healthy changes you need to be successful. I'm very proud of you and I know you can do it!