High School Trip to Europe vs Family Trip to Europe

[Mrs. Ciz]

Ok high school parents I need some input. I am just starting to form our vacation budget for the next few years. Before DS16 and DD14 graduate from college I wanted to take 2 major family trips: to Europe and to Africa for a safari. I figure I have 6 years to save and I'd better get cracking!

Now DS's high school just got invited to represent our state at the 70th Anniversary of the D-Day Invasion in Normandy, France. The school is planning an 8 day trip for this June. They will participate in the D-Day Parade & festivities, visit Paris, tour museums, have a guide, etc. Of course he wants to go! It would be extra special because DS's great grandfather landed on Omaha Beach on D-Day, was one of 4 in his group to survive and helped liberate France.

DD has asked if she can go on a school trip to Europe in a couple of years just like her brother. So I am thinking maybe we should just send them on the school trips and forget about the family trip. I would love to do both kinds of trips but I can't afford 2 school trips and a family trip.

In your experience:
- what are the pros and cons of a school trip to Europe
- what are the pros and cons of a family trip to Europe

 

[Tink888]

No personal experience here, just an opinion. My friend just sent her daughter on a school trip to Costa Rica last spring. The cost was about the same as a nice family vacation (not necessarily to Costa Rica, she didn't price it out, but somewhere).

Given the choice, I'd rather put the money toward a family trip to Europe as opposed to a school trip, only because I'd want us all to experience it as a family.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Our son had the opportunity to go to Europe in middle school, but I suspect it was just a teacher's idea to get a group together -- if he had enough kids participate he (the teacher) got to go for free as a perk of putting the group together. We told our son that if anyone went, we would go as a family, not as part of the middle school group.

It all depends on the type of vacation you're looking for. Would traveling as a family bring you closer together, or would you get tired of all that togetherness? Some families love vacations for family bonding before the kids get too involved in their own lives to participate any longer. Other families may prefer to travel with the friends -- send the kids as teens, then the parents can take a European cruise when the kids are grown and gone.

 

[EMom]

This comes up over and over. I say if you have money to burn, let the kids go on the trips. But you don't, do you?

I have a fundamental opposition to spending limited funds to send kids on school trips if it means sacrificing a family vacation. I just would not do it. Period.

If the kids want to go on those trips, let them earn the money. They will appreciate it more. A teenaged family member recently pestered her single mother (who is doing good to pay the bills) to send her to Europe. The mom would have to get a second job to manage that. We gave her the same advice and asked, "Have YOU ever been to Europe? No! Your teen should not go to Europe before you do AT YOUR EXPENSE." Then my sister chimed in with what our mother used to say when we WANTED something she couldn't afford. "Well.......People in Hell want ice water, don't they?" Ahhhhh, she had a way with words.

Save the money for a FAMILY vacation and tell the kids to get to work saving.

 

[KennesawNemo]

If the cost of sending both kids on separate school trips is comparable to that of a family trip, I'll send them on separate school trips.

If it cost the same to send one kid vs. send the whole family, I'll do the family trip.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

No personal experience here, just an opinion. My friend just sent her daughter on a school trip to Costa Rica last spring. The cost was about the same as a nice family vacation (not necessarily to Costa Rica, she didn't price it out, but somewhere).

Given the choice, I'd rather put the money toward a family trip to Europe as opposed to a school trip, only because I'd want us all to experience it as a family.

Our son had the opportunity to go to Europe in middle school, but I suspect it was just a teacher's idea to get a group together -- if he had enough kids participate he (the teacher) got to go for free as a perk of putting the group together. We told our son that if anyone went, we would go as a family, not as part of the middle school group.

It all depends on the type of vacation you're looking for. Would traveling as a family bring you closer together, or would you get tired of all that togetherness? Some families love vacations for family bonding before the kids get too involved in their own lives to participate any longer. Other families may prefer to travel with the friends -- send the kids as teens, then the parents can take a European cruise when the kids are grown and gone.

You both have good points and that is why I am torn. The school trip is expensive. I think we could do a whole family trip for less than 2 school trips. But, they may enjoy it more if they travel with their schoolmates. Then DH & I could go our own trip once they are both on their own. Then again the family memories from such a trip would be priceless. Arggggg!

 

[lizabu]

The pro to the family vacation is that you get to go. If it was an either/or situation I would go with the family trip. The school trip would happen only if I could afford both. My DD has a trip to France coming up with her French class. I told her I'd pay half. She has to earn the other half. It's $3000 so even if I pay half it's not enough to make us give up our family trip. It's not really fair to make everyone else (siblings included) sacrifice just so one person can go.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

The pro to the family vacation is that you get to go. If it was an either/or situation I would go with the family trip. The school trip would happen only if I could afford both. My DD has a trip to France coming up with her French class. I told her I'd pay half. She has to earn the other half. It's $3000 so even if I pay half it's not enough to make us give up our family trip. It's not really fair to make everyone else (siblings included) sacrifice just so one person can go.

$3000 must be the going rate these days because that's the quote for DS's high school trip too. He does have about $1200 in his savings account. Although he was saving for a new guitar DH & I will talk to him about putting his $ toward the trip if he really wants to go.

 

[Tink888]

You both have good points and that is why I am torn. The school trip is expensive. I think we could do a whole family trip for less than 2 school trips. But, they may enjoy it more if they travel with their schoolmates. Then DH & I could go our own trip once they are both on their own. Then again the family memories from such a trip would be priceless. Arggggg!

Well, from a teen's perspective, the trip with their friends will most definitely be more fun. They always are.

And a trip for you and your DH would equally be more enjoyable in some respects. But, although the trip with friends would be more fun, and there would definitely be disappointment if they didn't go on the school trips, it doesn't mean the family would trip would be any less enjoyable for them, just appreciated in a different way, you know?

I've sent my kids on several band trips (within the US) and they always have a blast, more than anything because they were with friends, not necessarily because they took in and fully appreciated all the sights there were to see in whatever particular destination they went to. I'm probably a little jaded in that respect. I'm to the point where I feel like if I'm just paying all that money for a good time with friends, just get together here and I'll spend the money on something that I will enjoy too.

 

[mjkacmom]

What do they want to do? We don't vacation a lot, but my kids do go on school trips (ds15 and dd17 will go to Canada this year, about $3000 for both). School trips and family vacations are totally different experiences, even if they go to the same place. Some of our trips are built on dance and soccer, with some members staying behind (Philadelphia, Boston, Orlando, California, Ireland, England...).

Have them earn some of the money - there is no reason (IMO) that the parents should assume the full cost of a trip they're not going on - lol.

 

[Tozzie]

i say let him go on the school trip. The High School i went to had trips every year through the language department, whatever language you were taking determined what trip you were elegible for, I went to Spain and France and my sister went as well. What my parents did was give the trip to my sister as a graduation gift and then I was given a choice I could have a Sweet Sixteen party or go to Europe, I chose Europe. That was 30 years ago and I think it was around $1700 so I don't think $3000 is that bad expecially with the cost of airfare to Europe these days. I think your son will have a memorable experience participating in the D-Day festivities.

I still have great memories of the trip from highschool.

 

[worm761]

I think it is a good experience for the kids to go with their friends. I also really like the idea of telling them they have to come up with half if they want to go.

 

[luvsJack]

When dd has a school trip, we tend to go with them. This year is D.C. And will be Europe within the next two years.

For her it is choir and the reason we pay for these trips is that she will have opportunities to do things that she wouldn't have on a family trip. We still do family trips in and around these school trips, but the school trips are a definite priority for us.

The same with mission trips at church. We make those a priority to pay for because she will get more out of that week than a week on the beach or whatever.

 

[abbyreads]

I went to Europe with my high school's band and we had experiences that we definitely would not have had on a family trip. We stayed in some nice places and ate at some great restaurants for lower group prices and we got to see some areas that only school groups are allowed to see and we got the keys to the city of Pisa from its mayor after a parade and we met an Italian cardinal on Easter Sunday. It was unforgettable because it was an Italian tour over Holy Week. It sounds like this opportunity, to actually participate in festivities commemorating D-Day, is similar in this regard. My family doesn't really go on vacations, so I can't weigh in much for a comparison, but I will say that my trip was unlike anything else I have ever done or will ever do because it was with a school group, not only because I had some amazing memories with my friends, but also because we got some unique opportunities through the school.

 

[DisneyDreamer2504]

Def not an easy choice. I was fortunate to do a Europe trip in high school, though for 9 day trip it was only $1500. Usually group trips will be cheaper than family planned, and $3000 sounds pretty high to me. And I loved being able to go with some friends, but the best thing was that my mother went too. I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it as much without her, but that's just me. However, I do think that a trip with friends will be remembered (in a positive way) longer than a family trip. Not that you shouldn't do a family trip as well, but maybe something more scaled down. As your kids are getting, this may be the last family trip you get with them.

I'm not sure any of that helps, but they're things to consider. I agree with others that the kids should def be involved in raising some of the money.

 

[Jillpie]

Having just gotten home from an 18 day African safari in Kenya and Tanzania, I'm kind of biased. It was a trip of a lifetime, and life changing. Having said that, my vote is let them go with their school mates. Our oldest son earned his Italy trip his senior year of high school in 2006. He had the time of his life. And he'll also never have that opportunity with those kids again. Your children can always travel with you. Have them earn it though, it will mean so much more to them.

 

[leebee]

DD went to France with her ballet company over April vacation of her freshman year of high school, and I was lucky enough to go too! The cost was about $1800 plus food, and the dancers spent a year fundraising, so OOP for each dancer was about $600; adults paid their own way. The dancers stayed in host homes of a ballet group in Vendome, and the two dance companies put on a joint production of "The Little Mermaid." (Sarah's company's exec director is the mom of the director/teacher of the dance program in Vendome). We spent 4 nights in Vendome, then 4 nights in Paris. We felt that this was an incredible opportunity for DD to dance internationally, especially as part of the trip was a master class at the Paris Opera Ballet.

Other trips? We say no. We aren't made of money, and if a trip is just going somewhere with friends/classmates, we draw the line. These trips came up frequently in high school; the French club went to Paris, the Spanish club went to Spain, the junior/senior English majors went to London. While these all offered the opportunity to travel, there wasn't anything "special" about the trip (like participating in D-Day events in Normandy!) so we said no. In fact, DD didn't even go on her class trip. They went to NYC: Overnight bus to NYC straight from graduation, 2 days/1 night in Manhattan with no itinerary except tickets to Mamma Mia, and home again by overnight bus. $700. Didn't happen- just couldn't afford it with DD's summer programs coming up. She was fine with it, and the stories that came back centered on making out in the bus and drinking in Times Square. Great.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

i say let him go on the school trip. The High School i went to had trips every year through the language department, whatever language you were taking determined what trip you were elegible for, I went to Spain and France and my sister went as well. What my parents did was give the trip to my sister as a graduation gift and then I was given a choice I could have a Sweet Sixteen party or go to Europe, I chose Europe. That was 30 years ago and I think it was around $1700 so I don't think $3000 is that bad expecially with the cost of airfare to Europe these days. I think your son will have a memorable experience participating in the D-Day festivities.

I still have great memories of the trip from highschool.

I went to Europe with my high school's band and we had experiences that we definitely would not have had on a family trip. We stayed in some nice places and ate at some great restaurants for lower group prices and we got to see some areas that only school groups are allowed to see and we got the keys to the city of Pisa from its mayor after a parade and we met an Italian cardinal on Easter Sunday. It was unforgettable because it was an Italian tour over Holy Week. It sounds like this opportunity, to actually participate in festivities commemorating D-Day, is similar in this regard. My family doesn't really go on vacations, so I can't weigh in much for a comparison, but I will say that my trip was unlike anything else I have ever done or will ever do because it was with a school group, not only because I had some amazing memories with my friends, but also because we got some unique opportunities through the school.

Having just gotten home from an 18 day African safari in Kenya and Tanzania, I'm kind of biased. It was a trip of a lifetime, and life changing. Having said that, my vote is let them go with their school mates. Our oldest son earned his Italy trip his senior year of high school in 2006. He had the time of his life. And he'll also never have that opportunity with those kids again. Your children can always travel with you. Have them earn it though, it will mean so much more to them.

DD went to France with her ballet company over April vacation of her freshman year of high school, and I was lucky enough to go too! The cost was about $1800 plus food, and the dancers spent a year fundraising, so OOP for each dancer was about $600; adults paid their own way. The dancers stayed in host homes of a ballet group in Vendome, and the two dance companies put on a joint production of "The Little Mermaid." (Sarah's company's exec director is the mom of the director/teacher of the dance program in Vendome). We spent 4 nights in Vendome, then 4 nights in Paris. We felt that this was an incredible opportunity for DD to dance internationally, especially as part of the trip was a master class at the Paris Opera Ballet.

Other trips? We say no. We aren't made of money, and if a trip is just going somewhere with friends/classmates, we draw the line. These trips came up frequently in high school; the French club went to Paris, the Spanish club went to Spain, the junior/senior English majors went to London. While these all offered the opportunity to travel, there wasn't anything "special" about the trip (like participating in D-Day events in Normandy!) so we said no. In fact, DD didn't even go on her class trip. They went to NYC: Overnight bus to NYC straight from graduation, 2 days/1 night in Manhattan with no itinerary except tickets to Mamma Mia, and home again by overnight bus. $700. Didn't happen- just couldn't afford it with DD's summer programs coming up. She was fine with it, and the stories that came back centered on making out in the bus and drinking in Times Square. Great.

As you all mentioned, participating in the D-Day events is a once in a lifetime type thing that wouldn't happen on a regular family trip to Europe. It is a huge honor that his school was asked to participate. I would love if all 4 of us could go but at $3000 per person with only 8 months to save, it is not going to happen. Added to that, my kids go to different high schools and the trip takes place while DD is still in school, right before she'd take her final exams. I don't know if it'd be wise to take her out of school right then, even though I could probably get the absence excused.

abbyreads and leebee- I loved reading about the special things you guys got to do on your student trips. They sounded amazing and special! You are so right that those things would be really hard to pull off on a family trip.

Jillpie - No matter how my kids get to Europe (with me or without me), the African safari will happen eventually. It is my BIGGEST bucket list item and I want to share that trip with them more than any other experience. You know how costly a safari can be. I've been researching, setting a budget, making a savings plan. That is another reason why all 4 of us going on the D-Day trip is out. If I'm going to spend $12,000 on a family vacation, it's going to be an African safari!

Thanks everyone! You all bring up some good points and shared some things I hadn't thought of. Your input has given me a lot to think about.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

I was very fortunate to be able to go on a class trip to France when I was in high school. It was absolutely my best memory from high school, and one of the best memories from my life in general. There's just something special about being 16 and going to a foreign country with your friends!! I actually felt sorry for the kids whose parents came as chaperones.

I can't even put into words how fun this trip was. And, my friends and I were "goody two shoes", so it had nothing to do with drinking, partying, etc. It was a very special time and I am so, so glad I went. I have really good memories of our family trips, too, but there was just something about the class trip. Maybe the feeling of independence? I don't know. Good luck deciding; it is a tough decision!

 

[StephMK]

I guess part of depends on if you've already taken several family trips together or if trips are special and few/far between. Since it sounds like you already do a fair amount of traveling, I'd let them go with school.

The D-Day celebration is a once in a lifetime thing, even more so than a family trip, imo.

DD19 went w/her HS choir to San Francisco her senior year. Their itinerary was packed and I know she went some places we would not have gone as a family. I think DD would agree w/a PP that the independence (while controlled) was part of the joy of the trip. She worked hard with that group so they were close and it was a great way to share some last memories before college.

We did and continue to travel a lot as a family so I think it's ok for them to make some of their own memories too. Good luck w/your decision!