here's what I'm thinking...what do other parents think?

[birdiesunshine]

Sounds like you are getting all bent out of shape about it too!

Huh? Color me confused. I don't get your post.

 

[Crankyshank]

Actually I did see the other thread and I still don't get why you're so bitter about it that you're carrying it over to other threads

 

[Marseeya]

Are you really shocked that someone had to disagree with you? Seems like a thread can't be posted anymore without someone getting all bent about a word or phrase that was used in the OP BTW I hear ya about the "skank" thing, do you want me to cover up my cleavage now

What is so wrong with disagreeing? Do we all have to be sheep and agree with every single thing somebody says? For the record, I didn't notice what she said about the 11:00 at night part, so yes, I was disagreeing that I'd rather see my kids cooped up on the computer rather than out socializing. But personally, I'd rather my kids be asleep at 11 p.m. The rule in our house is 10:00 is bedtime and the only thing they can do other than sleep is read. There's no chatting or playing video games that late at night unsupervised.

And what does it say about the son that he would bring home a girl his mother considers a "skank"?

Maybe if some of the young men weren't such dogs and would go after conservatively dressed girls once in a while, girls wouldn't have to dress in such revealing clothes to get attention.

 

[birdiesunshine]

What is so wrong with disagreeing? Do we all have to be sheep and agree with every single thing somebody says? For the record, I didn't notice what she said about the 11:00 at night part, so yes, I was disagreeing that I'd rather see my kids cooped up on the computer rather than out socializing. But personally, I'd rather my kids be asleep at 11 p.m. The rule in our house is 10:00 is bedtime and the only thing they can do other than sleep is read. There's no chatting or playing video games that late at night unsupervised.

And what does it say about the son that he would bring home a girl his mother considers a "skank"?

Maybe if some of the young men weren't such dogs and would go after conservatively dressed girls once in a while, girls wouldn't have to dress in such revealing clothes to get attention.

I dress in what might be considered revealing clothing but it's cause I look good, not cause I need attention

 

[Marseeya]

I dress in what might be considered revealing clothing but it's cause I look good, not cause I need attention

You better cover up then, ya skank!

 

[birdiesunshine]

You better cover up then, ya skank!

Hey, I resemble that remark

 

[Cantw8]

Holy crap...what is wrong with some of you? For one thing, I very much welcome opinions of all kinds, whether they agree or disagree with me, Mr. Bob Slydell. What I don't appreciate is being condescended to or told that my opinions are so out there that I don't know what I'm talking about. As far as skanks go, I was displaying a bit of humor, obviously a concept lost on some of you Marseeya, I am really sorry that you were classified as a skank in high school, perhaps you should move passed it now that you are an adult and pick yourself up a clue....I hear Walmart has then on sale this Friday

 

[Stitchfans]

DD11 is hooked on VMK. We fight for the computer. I want it to be on Dis and she hovers over me waiting to get on for VMK.

 

[Marseeya]

Holy crap...what is wrong with some of you? For one thing, I very much welcome opinions of all kinds, whether they agree or disagree with me, Mr. Bob Slydell. What I don't appreciate is being condescended to or told that my opinions are so out there that I don't know what I'm talking about. As far as skanks go, I was displaying a bit of humor, obviously a concept lost on some of you Marseeya, I am really sorry that you were classified as a skank in high school, perhaps you should move passed it now that you are an adult and pick yourself up a clue....I hear Walmart has then on sale this Friday

Oh puhleeze. How dare you suggest I go to Walmart for a clue. I'm much too high class to shop there.



Target is more my style.

 

[MELSMICE]

I get what the OP was saying - I took it as just liking the fact that she knew where her son was.

That being said................I trust my DD's when they are out of the house as much as I trust them when they are at our own house. I realize they can get in trouble when they are gone & even when they are here. Kids can be sneaky - although at this point I haven't found any indication that they have been. I do enjoy when they are here with their friends - all of whom I know quite well.

Also, I have to say that I resent the "skank" comment. Whether it was meant in jest or not, it didn't come across as funny - especially to someone that has 3 DD's. OP - do you have any daughters? I find it offensive that someone would call any female a "skank". JMO!

 

[Marseeya]

Also, I have to say that I resent the "skank" comment. Whether it was meant in jest or not, it didn't come across as funny - especially to someone that has 3 DD's. OP - do you have any daughters? I find it offensive that someone would call any female a "skank". JMO!

Especially a grown woman calling a teenager this. They might not always use the best judgment, but they have to find their way (although I certainly wouldn't be buying my DD a thong). Rather than tearing them down and making enemies of them, isn't it better to try to gently guide them? If they're not getting guidance at home, then how hard is it to be a good influence? Certainly, I have personal issues with it, but it's also a matter of having a DD of my own AND being aware that being a kid is tough enough without feeling like adults are out to get them.

One of my DS's female friends was coming across as really coarse and rude (not in clothing, but attitude) and I very gently and respectfully asked her to tone it down. She's been nothing but lovely ever since. I'd like to treat his female friends as I'd hope other mothers would treat my DD if she ever got out of line behind my back. (maybe this is the teacher in me coming out... I just like kids )

 

[Cantw8]

What is so wrong with disagreeing? Do we all have to be sheep and agree with every single thing somebody says? For the record, I didn't notice what she said about the 11:00 at night part, so yes, I was disagreeing that I'd rather see my kids cooped up on the computer rather than out socializing. But personally, I'd rather my kids be asleep at 11 p.m. The rule in our house is 10:00 is bedtime and the only thing they can do other than sleep is read. There's no chatting or playing video games that late at night unsupervised.

And what does it say about the son that he would bring home a girl his mother considers a "skank"? :rotfl2:

Maybe if some of the young men weren't such dogs and would go after conservatively dressed girls once in a while, girls wouldn't have to dress in such revealing clothes to get attention.

This is almost too inane to coment on, but I'll try Once again, you are assuming...my son doesn't invite these girls over, they pursue him Why should it be my responsibility to make sure they are dressed before they leave the house? For that matter, why should it be his responsibility? If a woman/girl does not have enough respect for herself that she feels the need to let it all hang out...so be it. Just don't expect me to have any respect for you. So, what you are saying is that since you claim to have been called "every name in the book" by busybodies and judgemental people, that the only reason YOU dressed the way you did was to get attention? That's sad. I am very sorry for you that you didn't get what you needed from home

 

[MELSMICE]

Why should it be my responsibility to make sure they are dressed before they leave the house?

They may be dressed very appropriately when they leave their house - kids have been known to change clothes when their parents aren't watching.

Once again, you are assuming...my son doesn't invite these girls over, they pursue him

There must be some reason these girls are deciding to pursue your son. Don't be so judgemental of the girls. Don't assume it's all one sided.

 

[Cantw8]

I get what the OP was saying - I took it as just liking the fact that she knew where her son was.

That being said................I trust my DD's when they are out of the house as much as I trust them when they are at our own house. I realize they can get in trouble when they are gone & even when they are here. Kids can be sneaky - although at this point I haven't found any indication that they have been. I do enjoy when they are here with their friends - all of whom I know quite well.

Also, I have to say that I resent the "skank" comment. Whether it was meant in jest or not, it didn't come across as funny - especially to someone that has 3 DD's. OP - do you have any daughters? I find it offensive that someone would call any female a "skank". JMO!

Yes, Dahhhling. I have a 14 year old daughter. I was not generalizing all teenage girls as being skanks, actually my daughter has the best skank detector there is She is the first one to point out when a skank has entered the perimemiter. What my point was, once again, was that the girls who try to lure my son away from his video games use all available assests, they must think that they can't get him with their award winning personalities, so they must pull out the breasts. I think we have strayed far enough away from the original topic that this is just getting nasty. It was never my intention for it to get this far, I just wanted to share what makes me feel good and see if anyone else felt the same. If you did not agree with me, that's cool. I just don't think it needed to go to a personal level, regardless of what your personal experiences might be

 

[Twinkles6892]

Yeah, I'm in highschool, and some girls are skanks. I don't know why you are offended by this, they are, short skirt wearing, low cut shirt wearing, LOOK AT THESE! Kind of girls. Skank fits them well. And in her OP she actually said that she wasn't saying that her son doesn't do these things. I think you're all getting bent out of shape.

I get what you're saying, you're happy that you know your son is at home, safe, rather than out using his teenage judgement, no matter how good of a kid he is.

 

[MELSMICE]

Yes, Dahhhling. I have a 14 year old daughter. I was not generalizing all teenage girls as being skanks, actually my daughter has the best skank detector there is She is the first one to point out when a skank has entered the perimemiter. What my point was, once again, was that the girls who try to lure my son away from his video games use all available assests, they must think that they can't get him with their award winning personalities, so they must pull out the breasts. I think we have strayed far enough away from the original topic that this is just getting nasty. It was never my intention for it to get this far, I just wanted to share what makes me feel good and see if anyone else felt the same. If you did not agree with me, that's cool. I just don't think it needed to go to a personal level, regardless of what your personal experiences might be

I am not taking anything personal, as I know my daughters would not be considered "skanks" by anyone. They are respectable teens. I just think the whole term "skank" is offensive. Falls under the category of slut, wh*re, sleeze, etc. IMO.

When I'm with my DD's & they make a comment about another girl that might not be dressed what we consider appropriate, we agree they obviously don't respect themselves or they wouldn't be dressed that way. I prefer not to give them any names.

Not trying to be nasty, just stating my opinion. Like I originally said, I get where you're coming from regarding being glad that you're son is home, you know what he is doing & who he is with. I also like knowing where my kids are at all times (& do) - as most parents do.

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

Ok, I will just reply to the OP on this one.......
I know what you mean... I worry, I mean really, REALLY worry about when DS5 becomes a teenager. I graduated high school in 1996 and remember like it was yesterday when I was a teen and what I did... Needless to say, I have grown up alot since then But I do look at the teenagers today and it is SO different from when I was in high school. And I know what you are saying about "skanks"..... girls didn't dress the way they do now back when I was that age. Not that I am saying that all the girls that dress "that way" are "skanks" by the definition of the word.....really no offense to anyone, but I think girls now are alot more provocative (in dress) than they have ever been in the past.
When I was a teen I was horrible to my parents and lied all the time about where I was and what I did. Granted they were very strict. Not that I was THAT bad, I wasn't doing anything different than the majority were doing - but if my parents knew about the drinking, pot, and sex they would have died. Not that I did these things all the time- it was on occasion with everyone else. (and I grew up in a "good" home, in a "wealthy" community, with very educated, professional parents) It is just how things were. Most parents were totally oblivious to what their kids were really doing.
I agree I would rather see my kids in my house hanging out with their friends. At least I would know what they were doing. I hope to have a relationship with my child (and future children) that is more open than I had with my parents. And I hope I can still remember what it was like to be a teenager, and am not oblivious to what really goes on.
Anyway - just my 2 cents!!!

Jen

 

[Cantw8]

Ok, I will just reply to the OP on this one.......
I know what you mean... I worry, I mean really, REALLY worry about when DS5 becomes a teenager. I graduated high school in 1996 and remember like it was yesterday when I was a teen and what I did... Needless to say, I have grown up alot since then But I do look at the teenagers today and it is SO different from when I was in high school. And I know what you are saying about "skanks"..... girls didn't dress the way they do now back when I was that age. Not that I am saying that all the girls that dress "that way" are "skanks" by the definition of the word.....really no offense to anyone, but I think girls now are alot more provocative (in dress) than they have ever been in the past.
When I was a teen I was horrible to my parents and lied all the time about where I was and what I did. Granted they were very strict. Not that I was THAT bad, I wasn't doing anything different than the majority were doing - but if my parents knew about the drinking, pot, and sex they would have died. Not that I did these things all the time- it was on occasion with everyone else. (and I grew up in a "good" home, in a "wealthy" community, with very educated, professional parents) It is just how things were. Most parents were totally oblivious to what their kids were really doing.
I agree I would rather see my kids in my house hanging out with their friends. At least I would know what they were doing. I hope to have a relationship with my child (and future children) that is more open than I had with my parents. And I hope I can still remember what it was like to be a teenager, and am not oblivious to what really goes on.
Anyway - just my 2 cents!!!

Jen

Yes, this is what I am saying. I do not know how it degraded this far :rotfl2 I feel so much better knowing that my son/daughter is home with me or friends playing video games. That is all I was trying to say..... : whatever disfunctional atributes others want to assign to this statement, have at it. But, please realize that your issues are YOUR issues....good night.

 

[nwdisgal]

This is almost too inane to coment on, but I'll try Once again, you are assuming...my son doesn't invite these girls over, they pursue him Why should it be my responsibility to make sure they are dressed before they leave the house? For that matter, why should it be his responsibility? If a woman/girl does not have enough respect for herself that she feels the need to let it all hang out...so be it. Just don't expect me to have any respect for you. So, what you are saying is that since you claim to have been called "every name in the book" by busybodies and judgemental people, that the only reason YOU dressed the way you did was to get attention? That's sad. I am very sorry for you that you didn't get what you needed from home

Okay. I have to jump in. In defense of this other poster who said she was labeled as a skank - I was in a whole generation that dressed skanky but we weren't necessarily skanks. There is a difference...The fashions had the short satin shorts and low cut v-necks with catchy words like Foxy Lady on them. The jeans were skin tight. "Shake your head Darling" was queen. I had plenty of self respect but I admit I was a slave to fashion and of course, my ever present curling iron at that juncture in my life. Fortunately, soon after the preppy movement came in full force and gave us some of our prudish dignity back.

And Target Rocks!

 

[Planogirl]

It's just fashion. Most of the girls are no more skanks than we were at that age. I think that the term is offensive too by the way.

I was NEVER home when I was a teen. Perish the thought. But I wasn't a terribly bad kid so keeping them home isn't the only way that they'll turn out "good".