Here's a strategy for you: just say no to family who invites themselves

[Luvamouse]

Top 10 most irritating quotes from my FIL/MIL at WDW:

1. "You paid how much for this trip?! Holy man did you get ripped off!"


*sigh* The dream vacation, encroached upon by pain-in-the-rear in-laws!

Of course we had lots of fun anyway, but I feel like the trip was tainted and I want a do-over with just me, my hubby and my 7 year old! It's only fair!

I MISS DISNEY WORLD! I WANT A DO-OVER!

Add me to the ROFLMAO list!! You nailed this!!

 

[itradehilton]

We are planning our first big trip to disneyworld and I found out my Sister and her daughter will be at a dance compitition during 5 days of our trip. She is quite the "princess" (not in a good way). Is Disney big enough that I can relax knowing that I wil NOT run in to her on our trip.

 

[mickeysgirl17]

Seriously. When you plan your trip, keep it to yourself. I know, you are excited, you have your Disney nights, your countdown calendars, you are busy making all kinds of custom surprises from the kind people over on the Creative DISign board...I'm telling ya...DO NOT TELL YOUR FAMILY YOU ARE GOING!!!!!

We are live at BCV, on our family's vacation that we saved for for over 2 years. Yes we are DVC and yes, we saved for years. We have never vacationed with just ourselves. They tag along every time. Every single time. And this trip is the last straw. They are not in our room, but they are just down the hall.

They are arguing with each other, the SIL is a lunatic screamer of a mom (seriously, if you saw the huge commotion today at MK, that was me and my family slinking away pretending not to know her.) and the whole thing is just stressful. So far our best moments have been alone, like we planned it in the beginning.

How do we get in this position? Because they are nosey and we are not liars. Congratulations dear family, I think we have just learned how to lie. No, we are not going to Disney 3 more times in 2010, nope, not us, no siree bob.

I agree with you 100%. My DH always wants to invite his older brother and his brothers wife and kids, and since they are older, they try to take over the plans and I'm sorry, but I work really hard to make my plans for my family perfect. It sucks, cause I make ADR's and then by the time they agree to go, I have to cancel cause now there are no tables left for the bigger parties. It just sucks. I love going alone. It might sound selfish, but we have a much better time without anyone else going along.

 

[vhartwell]

I have to be very lucky...my husband is always the bad guy!!!! He refuses to go on vacation with my family!! He just tells them that a week with them isn't a vacation for him, his vacation is when he is with me!! So I get to go on two vacations each summer...one with my family...and one with DH!!

 

[brittanyherndon]

Uhgh! I feel your pain. I was dumb enough to open my mouth on Christmas that our next family trip to Disney will be Dec. 2011 my SIL says "Awesome we can totally do that" I would not mind except my brother thinks "Disney is the most depressing place on earth" ( I know I can't believe we are related) he absolutely hates Disney yet she is planning on dragging him on "my family trip" and I did not ask them.

Ignore your unwanted guests, focus on your family. Before you know it you will be back in WDW. (with out them) Good Luck!

why would he find it depressing

This has been our issue with our trip too... We waited to tell my DILs because we thought that his brother would invite himself and his family along. We really were looking forward to a 'just' our family trip. Well I told my mom about it and she was so excited for us she started making plans to be there at the same time. Now my niece is has invited herself and her three kids to drive down with us... We are driving down straight threw and do not want to have to worry about anyone else driving down following us. We are even renting a car so we don't have to worry about a car breaking down... if it breaks down they will just bring us a new car. But she is planning on buying a used car and driving that down. I would feel bad if she broke down. Especially with three little kids. I don't think I would want to stop either. I just want our family vacation to be for 'our' family only... I know it sounds really selfish. Next time I will not be telling anyone! I'll be hiding our countdown links and I will not talk about it any where but here.

Good luck with the rest of your trip.

Thank God it is just me and my Dfi on every trip. Can't imagine what it would be like with a tag along

 

[PaulaSB12]

My sister is planning a trip to disney for 10 days she wants to stay at Saragota springs. I asked if it was ok for me to go at the same time but stay at a different hotel and IF she wants to meet occasionally. As far as I am concerned if she wants to meet I will otherwise its a solo holiday.

 

[Kim1964]

Threads like these gave me the courage to have a chat with my sister yesterday. I love my sister but her DH is not my favorite person. They live in the Orlando area and about the only time I see my sister is when we go to WDW. The past 2 trips we've spent a few days touring the parks with them. After the misery of last year I promised myself I would not waste precious vacation time with my brother in law ever again. The problem is this: My family has our way of doing Disney. We like it, it works for us, and that's how we're doing it. BIL wants to do things his way, which he can do any day of the year as they only live half an hour from the World. When he doesn't get his way, he gets nasty...and he doesn't get his way because I refuse to let him take over my vacation.

Anyway, my sister knows we're planning a trip this year and I finally told her yesterday that we won't be seeing them. She knows what her husband is like so she totally gets it, but it makes both of us sad. She knows I'd love to see her, but it's a package deal with them and I am just not spending any more time being ticked off in my happy place. It was hard to bring it up, but I'm glad we got it out of the way. I envy those of you who can do extended family trips and enjoy it!

 

[micheleq]

Joining from over on the Family & Budget boards! Man, am I glad I found this thread -- good to know I am not alone!!!

We went to WDW in Dec 08 with my parents and brother, had a great time. But, they spent about half the trip doing things on their own and let us have time with our girls.

My MIL told DH, "It would have been nice to have been invited." Gimme a break.

So, we've thrown the invitation out there that we are planning on going back in November. They can join us if they'd like. DH & I are doing it for our kids, who adore their grandparents. FIL is wonderful and loves theme parks, MIL doesn't go on rides apparently. Oh well, she'll be alone alot!

I think the key (or at least I am hoping) is setting the boundaries ahead of time. My mom and I had the chat that we didn't need to spend every waking minute together, and that was ok. DH will have to have that chat with his mom before our trip.

And then, NO MORE EXENTDED FAMILY TRIPS FOR US Each set of grandparents gets to go once, and that's it.

 

[disneyandme]

OP- Any chance we'll get that trip report?

 

[mattmommy]

I've been on "family reunion" vacations down at WDW. It's mighty hard to herd 18 people. The older ones don't want to split up (ugh) and while the kids have opinions (9, 10, 11 and 13) they're pretty easygoing. It's just that if one person goes to the restroom, how about the rest try to go? No. They just wait until we move 3 feet and then decide they have to go. ARGH.

Then dh and I have a timeshare. We got rooms for us, my parents and my brother and his family. There goes all the points--no big whoop, but my cheapie cousin (good double income, live in babysitter) asks if we have points they could use for a room. They don't want to spend more than $100 a night and wind up with a cr*ppy hotel or mooching off of relatives while down there.

 

[MOmousefan]

I had an earlier post about meeting a former student and his bride at WDW. We had a great time for one evening. Now, our first grandchild has arrived and I am looking foward to sharing her first visit. When I take one of our grown children to WDW, I make it clear that everyone can plan their own day. I also understand that now my DD and SIL will want to take DGD on their own family trip.
Here's the kicker; We were on a daytrip and and my SIL said " Grandpa will just have to take Lily (DGD) to WDW by himself". He was kidding, but I let him know that Grandpa will hold him to this. She is only 7 months old, but we will spend some quality time with the mouse in another year! We will see if DD can let go of Lily for a week. BTW, I am an only child, so there are no other family members to worry about. I hope that things work for you.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Sheesh, I guess I'm fortunate. I come from a close knit family but none of us would ever dream of inviting ourselves along on another's trip.. Even if we(extended familiy) all decided to take a trip together, I think I'd want some alone time, and I think they'd agree. My sister and I always go together but even we have our moments where we have to just go get an ice cream, sit on the TTA and calm down.
OP, hope your trip gets better for you-you can always ditch them and just claim that you got lost.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Last year my friend did this to me. She had gone in Sept and we booked in May. Next thing I know she booked in May the week before into our week. Thought maybe we could get together and she could watch the kids while we went to Dinner. That way we could cancel our Neverland ressie. Her daughter is a bit timid and they do very different things than my family. We love going places with them when they visit but WDW is soooo expensive that you dont want to have a bad time or worry about anyone else. I have FMS so I just said that our plans were so specific I didnt know how we would fit it in since we have three kids all wanting to do different things and at the time we didnt know if we would ever get the chance to go again at 40%off. She took it well but it really freeked me out that she asked me what week we were going and a week later she was there part of the time. I think she ment well but we hadnt taken a family vacation in Years and it was our kids first Disney trip. It made for a very stressful week as I decided how to tell her that meeting up was a no go.

I have friends, and coworkers like that..meaning, they don't decide to do something until you do it. They buy the same kind of things you do etc. It's like they can't make a decision for themselves. Kind of creepy after a point.

 

[I'd rather be diving]

Oh gosh I sure hope that I am not the annoying relative that everyone complains about. My husband's son and family were planning a DW trip this summer. My husband and I talked about it and thought we would enjoy going with them. I sent an e-mail and said, "I'm just throwing this out for you and if you don't want to no big deal." They responded that they want to wait a year so that we can go too. However, they want us to not tell my husband's other kids that we are all going because they don't want them to invite themselves along. I'm sure I'm not one of those annoying relatives as I am the BIG FUN person. I have already found a ton of stuff that I want to do and buy for the grandkids to make their trip even more special. I'm sure though I will be the evil one when we come home and the other kids weren't along. The kids that we are going with have realized how much fun we are because we took them on a road trip to the Grand Canyon a couple of years ago and had a fabulous time. We are not planning on telling the others until it is too late for them to tag along plus there is no way that the other people will be able to afford to go to the world - even on a budget. We are not staying on property and we are still spending a bundle!!! Can't wait.....May of 2011 can't come soon enough.

 

[nan214]

This thread has made me feel so much better..... when we go to disney, we actually try and avoid the times my parents are living down there (6 months out of the year). I love my parents and they are wonderful people but they are control freaks and they have an opinion about everything! I cant imagine spending $3000-$4000 on vacation and not being able to enjoy it. Unfortunelty, my mother gives me the guilt trip of not planning a trip to disney while they are down there. Like OP's....I just want it to be my family vacation.