Here's a New One (Wedding invite)

[va32h]

We received a wedding invitation today - we are friends of the groom. The wedding takes place one evening, and the reception takes place on a completely separate night later in the week! Apparently the bride's parents are divorced and will not agree to be present at the same event, so one is hosting the ceremony and the other is hosting the reception.

While I feel very sorry for the bride to be stuck with such ridiculous parents, my dilemma is that it will be difficult for me to arrange (or, quite frankly, afford) a babysitter for our three children on two different nights.

As if that weren't unusual enough, a note inside the invitation tells me that the bride is registered at a local department store, and the groom is registered at... Bass Pro Shops! So do they expect separate gifts, or do we give a gift to the person that we actually know?

And here I thought I couldn't be surprised at the bizarreness of weddings anymore.

 

[mickeyboat]

Bizarre! That is just unbelievable.

 

[cybrkitn]

Sounds like their marriage is already off to a rocky start .

I think it's ridiculous to have a wedding on one night and the reception on another. But I do feel sorry for the bride to have to deal with this on her special day. Time for her parents to grow up and stop being selfish.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Odd, very odd. Being engaged I feel as though I am pretty on top of current wedding trends and this still seems a little odd. I have heard of having the wedding and reception on different days but it is usually just a small very intimate ceremony and then a big bash party on a different day, or a destination wedding.

As far the groom being registered, this is also becoming very common, especially since so many people are waiting longer to get married and already have a lot of the typical wedding registry kind of gifts. The gifts should really be for the couple in my opinion. A friend's husband registered for tools at Sears, but they were tools for the house, not really just a present for him (like a fishing pole or something).

If I were in your situation I would try to figure out which day the groom (your friend) would rather have you there and go that day. If you can't afford a babysitter both days then just pick one and have a great time!

 

[4nana]

How sad is this!? They should have eloped!

 

[lillygator]

my parents are divorced and are the same way as far as holidays go..almost makes me feel like the divorced one having to host seperate Xmas'es etc....I would have put my foot down at this though.

If you can't go to both, I'd chose the reception.

 

[Evil Genius]

Her parents can't suck it up for a few hours for the sake of their daughter?? How very sad.

I would probably go to the ceremony and skip the reception, but that's just me.

I'm really confused by the gift thing though. I have never heard of a groom registering for his own stuff. Aren't wedding gifts usually for the two of them?

 

[ducklite]

Sadly it shows immaturity on the brides part. She should ahve told her parents to get over it. I agree with the PP who said it's a marriage getting off to a rocky start.

Bass Pro Shops? Wow. Just wow.

I think I'd send a gift and stay home. YYMV.

Anne

 

[KristiKelly]

Sounds like a real pain in the butt for everyone. The bride's parents need to get over it for 1 day.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Poor bride. My parents are like hers. For my wedding, I told both of them to suck it up. I insisted they be in one picture wth me and they had to smile, like it or not.

I would ask to see if they had a preference, as it is silly to ask you to hire a sitter for two days. Maybe they have too many people at the wedding and not at the reception or vice-versa.

Maybe the bride is doing a blessing for everyone by NOT having her parents in the same room!

We registered for regular wedding gifts, expect my husband registered for a tent in protest. He said that the gifts were all girl gifts (kitchen items, towels, bedding, etc.) We got the tent all right and it's still sitting in it's box in the hall closet. I hope he never gets rid of it as it was the start of our lessons in compromise.

 

[lulu71]

And here I thought I couldn't be surprised at the bizarreness of weddings anymore.

No kidding. And I think it would be a cold day in hell before I shopped at a fishing place for a wedding gift!

 

[mickeysgal]

Since you've said that you can't attend both, I'd pick the event that is most convenient for you to attend. I'd also pick a gift from one of the two registries and send only one gift for the both of them. They've created this awkward situation for all involved, but that doesn't mean that you have to cater to it. I wouldn't feel obligated or guilty about not being able to attend both functions. I agree - its expensive to have sitters for two nights when it should have been only one night.

 

[TEENEE]

The seperate day thing is weird but I'm not as shocked at the Bass Pro Shop registry. It could be that they don't need household items. Maybe the couple agreed to bass pro and the groom was the lucky one that got to do the wish list. We like to camp so asking for camping or outdoors items does not seem strange to me. I think the couple should ask for what they want, not what they are expected to ask for. I wouldn't use china very often, but give me a deep fryer and it's getting used.

 

[piratesmate]

That's absurd! If they really couldn't just suck it up, they could have hosted their separate events on the same day!! Oh but wait...that would have meant they put their daughter first. Obviously not. The poor girl...

And the groom registering at the fishing place? This poor girl should read the writing on the wall & RUN the other way!!

 

[mickeysgal]

That's absurd! If they really couldn't just suck it up, they could have hosted their separate events on the same day!! Oh but wait...that would have meant they put their daughter first. Obviously not. The poor girl...

Definitely a marital issue right from the start. These people are getting married and already they're letting the in-laws control them. They should have the backbone to say, "Mom and Dad, the wedding and reception is May xx. Hope to see you there." If the parents can't get themselves over the horror of being in the same room together for a few hours, then they need to stay home. To manipulate like this is a pure control issue and it doesn't bode well for a new marriage.

 

[autumnbaby9]

I can't help you with the first part because while we have had parents try stuff like that in our family, the couple have always told them it is their wedding and if the parents couldn't behave then they couldn't come.

The gift registry issue is not that odd around here. My aunt got married and her groom registered them at REI (I think that is what it is called, I'm not into outdoor recreation so much). You do not have to buy seperate gifts for the couple, just pick one store and get something off the list. If you are more comfortable buying traditional gifts then choose the brides store.

 

[lulugirl]

Sadly it shows immaturity on the brides part. She should ahve told her parents to get over it. I agree with the PP who said it's a marriage getting off to a rocky start.



Anne

I couldn't agree more!
As far as a gift, I would just write a check.

 

[Fire14]

I had my wedding on one day and reception the next d/t We originally were getting married at court house and had mostly out of town guests who refused to travel on fri, on top of fact we wanted it small at wedding. The ones i planned around never even showed up. The reception on saturday afternoon was great.

 

[Simba's Mom]

We received a wedding invitation today - we are friends of the groom. The wedding takes place one evening, and the reception takes place on a completely separate night later in the week! Apparently the bride's parents are divorced and will not agree to be present at the same event, so one is hosting the ceremony and the other is hosting the reception.

While I feel very sorry for the bride to be stuck with such ridiculous parents, my dilemma is that it will be difficult for me to arrange (or, quite frankly, afford) a babysitter for our three children on two different nights.

As if that weren't unusual enough, a note inside the invitation tells me that the bride is registered at a local department store, and the groom is registered at... Bass Pro Shops! So do they expect separate gifts, or do we give a gift to the person that we actually know?

And here I thought I couldn't be surprised at the bizarreness of weddings anymore.

Unfortunately this doesn't surprise me. The problems that can arise with acrimonious divorced parents when it comes to weddings! A friend of ours' DS recently got married. The issues were incredible among the parents and steps.

 

[pearlieq]

Ugh!

I don't care who registers where, but you don't put that in with the invitations! Greedy much?

Too bad the bride and groom couldn't have stood up to them and insisted on a civilized affair. This does not bode well at all...