Help!

[thewife]

i really need help and i was hoping someone here knows how to help me.

of course i had to make a new name cause i don't know if DH comes here.

ok,so DH has cheated on me before. he admitted it, we went to counseling and i thought things were better.

i really think he is doing something again, and the computer is my only way of catching him. i do not have access to his e-mail. he has about 4 different e-mail addresses. i have looked at the history and i have found some things, like e-cards from a particular girl, well i confronted him about it and he said they were harmless, blah blah blah. i also confronted her and she said they are 'just friends' i asked her not to have any contact with him and i know that they still have contact. so , ow he usually erases the history. my gut tells me that there is something going on and my gut is usually right.

aren't there programs that will track everything that he does on the internet? what can i do to catch him? i am trying to be nonchalant about this so he doesnt think that i know anything. i really need help.

can anyone lead me in the right direction?

 

[londonderrydisneyfan]

I'm sorry to hear about that. you can install a keystroke logger (it connects to your keyboard cable) and it will tell you evrything your DH types into the computer.

Here's a link...

http://electronickits.com/spy/finish/computer/key.htm

 

[kristen821]

There is also something called e-blaster that I have seen people post on the here before.

I am sorry you are going through this. I hope everything worrks out for you.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

You could kick him out of the house and then have someone follow him to see where he goes....

Or you could just tell him that if he doesn't give you access to his e-mail accounts right now...with no "I'll let you do it later" excuses or you'll leave him.

Look. In the end it doesn't matter. He may be cheating on you and may not be sending love letters over the e-mail. If you can't trust him, then you don't have a whole lot left to stay together for.

The good news is that if you let him do whatever it is he's going to do, he'll eventually either tire of this woman or leave you...and you won't be the wife who seems crazy for no reason at all.

To be safe, I would recommend you sock away whatever money you can without getting caught and then make plans for a life on your own.

Once you take jealousy and anger out of the equation and realize you can't control someone else's feelings, then you stand on your own feet and realize you're going to be fine no matter what happens.

I know it's not easy. But worrying is no way to live.

 

[Azure]

i really need help and i was hoping someone here knows how to help me.

of course i had to make a new name cause i don't know if DH comes here.

ok,so DH has cheated on me before. he admitted it, we went to counseling and i thought things were better.

i really think he is doing something again, and the computer is my only way of catching him. i do not have access to his e-mail. he has about 4 different e-mail addresses. i have looked at the history and i have found some things, like e-cards from a particular girl, well i confronted him about it and he said they were harmless, blah blah blah. i also confronted her and she said they are 'just friends' i asked her not to have any contact with him and i know that they still have contact. so , ow he usually erases the history. my gut tells me that there is something going on and my gut is usually right.

aren't there programs that will track everything that he does on the internet? what can i do to catch him? i am trying to be nonchalant about this so he doesnt think that i know anything. i really need help.

can anyone lead me in the right direction?

Tip #1-He deletes history(something f-i-s-h-y)
Tip #2-Ditch him, see what he does...

I'm really sorry that this is going on in your life.

 

[rt2dz]

I'm sorry, but if you don't trust him, why are you with him? You think he is cheating (again) and he doesn't respect you enough to simply make you feel better about a possible relationship... I don't get it.

Are you tracking him to possibly use it in court? I get that. Google spyware programs or go to a computer store to ask what programs are best. I'd ask DH, but he's out of town for a few days on business.

 

[Christine]

And what will you do when you have evidence? Just say "ha, ha, I have proof" or will you use it to move on? I agree with the others in that it sounds like there are huge trust issues and he's not helping matters at all. Why not just get the heck out and see what happens?

 

[Disney Doll]

Ask yourself why it matters to you whether or not he's cheating? You don't trust him, with good reason. He knows this, and yet isn't making more of an effort to assuage your well-founded (again based on his past behavior) fears. So isn't the bigger issue really lack of rsepct and consideration? Isn't the bigger issue really the fact that you may be married to a man who is a serial cheater? Isn't it a bigger issue that the person to whom you are married is not a person of integrity???

Rafiki gives you good advice. Prepare financially for your future, even if it takes a bit of time. You can't control someone's behavior or feelings, so why worry about it?

Ask yourself if your life is better with or without him. The go from there.

 

[momsgoofy]

Just want to give you I have walked in your shoes and they are the most awful pair I've ever had to wear! I wish I could give you some wonderful advice, but it's only you who knows what is best for you. If you know he cheated before, and the same habits are forming again...well...your heart will tell you what you need to do. In my case, I had to determine if, as ol' Dear Abby always asks...are ya better off with him or without him?

Like others have said, it seems that the root of this issue is trust...you have to have it or without it, it will eat you up. I wish you the best in this situation and will keep you in thought and prayer. I hope that you have someone or some place that you can go to in your area...someone who you can trust to talk with...even a clergyman or counselor to help you deal with the whole matter...it's so hard to do it alone...even if it's just someone to listen and offer a shoulder.

 

[chell]

 

[MAKmom]

If you think this is true I hope you are:
Protecting yourself from AIDS.
Opening a bank account in your name only in a new bank.
Have a job.
Have a support group.
Tell your parents.
Seeing a future without him.

 

[Stitchfans]

So sorry don't know what to say.

 

[THE HAT]

i am so very sorry for what you are going through. i think that everyone here has given you good advice.
i am sure in your heart of hearts you know what you need to do.
take care

 

[Alice's Mom]

Women are born with very strong instincts, listen to them...I am so sorry, I know that its a terrible thing to feel and experience...take care of yourself healthwise and financially again, I am so sorry.