Help with discipline.......

[Mouse House Mama]

The comment about shooting the dog happened last year in kindergarten and no other such comments to that degree were ever said again. Just last week now in 1st grade is when he said that someone died, and that was the reason they were absent. I don't know why he says these things and my husband and I agree to bring him to counseling. My 2 boys are night and day....its unreal. Its very embarrassing and hard for me.

Don't be embarrassed. The parents that should be embarrassed are the ones who don't seek out the help. You are not that parent. You are looking to give your son the tools he needs to succeed. That is nothing to be embarrassed about.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Don't be too hard on yourself!!! Everybody's kids have done something to embarrass their parents at some point. Even if your the best mom in the universe you can't control what comes out of a child's mouth (usually at the most inappropriate times)
I'm glad you are taking him to counseling just to cover your bases. You've probably got a perfectly normal little boy on your hands, but better safe than sorry!

I agree totally. It can happen to anyone. You are addressing it. It's hard to be a parent.

 

[Lynne M]

I think part of the problem here is that he's playing to his 'audience'....other kids his age. Most of whom probably think he's the funniest thing ever, so he's getting affirmation from his peer group, and encouragement to keep pushing it farther. That's what you and his teachers are working against, and that's tough.

I wouldn't refer to the 'bad' words as 'adult' words. You're just making them seem cool to him. Adults shouldn't be joking about killing pets, either. Make it clear that what he's saying is hurting people or making them angry, it's going to make people not like him, and that you're just not going to tolerate him saying these things.

I think some sessions with a counselor who specializes in child behavioral issues might be helpful. Not because I think he's a serial killer in the making, but because I think a pro could help you come up with a consistent strategy for dealing with his behavior. Others have mentioned the Supernanny, and that's essentially what she is. You don't need to get on a TV show to work with someone with that same expertise.

Again, I don't think your son is at all dangerous or evil, just a little one who hasn't figured out that words have consequences yet. But the killing the dog comment is an indication that you need to act, because that's the kind of comment that sets off all kinds of alarm bells in school administrators these days, and you're liable to find yourself on the wrong end of a zero tolerance policy. He's too young to understand the implications of saying something like that, and certainly doesn't mean anything threatening by it, but schools go to extremes these days to protect students.

 

[lukenick1]

I think part of the problem here is that he's playing to his 'audience'....other kids his age. Most of whom probably think he's the funniest thing ever, so he's getting affirmation from his peer group,

Again, I don't think your son is at all dangerous or evil, just a little one who hasn't figured out that words have consequences yet. But the killing the dog comment is an indication that you need to act, because that's the kind of comment that sets off all kinds of alarm bells in school administrators these days, and you're liable to find yourself on the wrong end of a zero tolerance policy. He's too young to understand the implications of saying something like that, and certainly doesn't mean anything threatening by it, but schools go to extremes these days to protect students.

Thank you, you have hit the nail right on the head. He is so popular with the kids in school, everyone loves him. He gets hugged by the girls and even the boys hug him. They all surround him at the bus stop too. He is definitely the leader to his peers which is exactly why he does the things he does. HE HAS AN AUDIENCE! Here's a perfect example. When I bring him to supermarkets/stores alone with me(no brother) he is perfectly behaved. When his brother is in the mix, he is a wild maniac. He loves the attention from his peers.
We laid in bed last night and had a long talk about why he says the things he says, and acts the way he acts. I basically told him that is ugly what he does and not funny and the kids will start to not want to be around him. We had a great morning this morning, he was right on time, followed his directions from me without arguement. So keeping my fingers crossed for a change.