Help with 16 year old--doesn't care about anything

[Tiggeroo]

. Look at the positive outcome this could bring though:
Save money and transfer over to a university with 2 years of basics done.

I'm more worried about the poor work ethic and lack of drive. If he isn't trying in high school why would he suddenly switch over and care in college. If he had drive and was great with cars I would be happy that he was an auto mechanic who worked hard and was good at what he did. I know there are four year schools he could go to. But I"d be unwilling to help him with that at this point. If he went off to a 4yr school and did poorly it would be much more difficult to fix it then at a community college. His brother had education issues and has been diagnosed with add. He is not crazy about school but has plans for his life and wants to run in college. So, although it's tough he gets the work done and is keeping his grades at least to college admission level. With the family history on his father's side I won't be surprised if the counselor finds a problem. I guess he just never had the typical add symptoms so I wasn't thinking about that so much for him. I have a daughter who was always very intrinsically motivated and did very well in school. My sons are more extrinsically motivated. And part of it is that they have seemed to mature later. Intrinsic motivation comes with maturity. For now, because the consequences are so severe I will do whatever it takes to get him thru high school and at least community college. Hopefully he will find something that motivates him and will begin to desire what is good for him on his own.

 

[Kitty 34]

I have a DS who's very similar to what you described. He will be 16 in a couple of weeks. He's very quiet, very shy and not very motivated. I don't think he's depressed, tho. It's just his make-up. He's very happy and content being shy and quiet and doing things by himself.

What I do tho with him, is constantly keep the line of communication open even if I usually have to initiate most conversations!!

 

[luvdzny]

My oldest DS was like that in high school. He just barely made it through because he really didn't care about school at all. He did work part time while in high school and his employers loved him! He is 20 now and working full time, he has now decided on his own that he wants to go back to school. I worried a lot about him during high school but there wasn't much we could do. I wish I had some advice for you, just hang in there, I know how hard it is.

 

[chrissyk]

One other thing came to mind for me. Does your DS have a mentor of any kind? That might help. Do you have any successful 20-something relatives who might be willing to take your DS under their wing? He might find some motivation if he could see where he COULD be in his 20's if he applied himself now. Sometimes a contemporary point-of-view is helpful. A 20-something is a semi-adult to a teen, but yet is probably non-threatening too.