HELP! Will our friends "Get It"?

[ZebraDomeCrazy]

So, we are long time Disney addicts, and DVC Members. This year we started talking to our best friends - another 50ish couple - about taking a trip with us. They have not been to Disney since the 70's. We go to Disney at least twice a year, and talk about Disney all the time. So our friends have left the planning up to us, as we are the experts. Unfortunately, the more we talk to them about the trip, the more we are worried that it just isn't going to work out. They are just a little more serious than we are, maybe less flexible is a good way to put it. The husband has already ruled out any shopping during this trip. We tried to explain that its not shopping like going to the mall! Walking around Epcot shops is just so much fun and relaxing. It is great interacting with CM's from other parts of the world. The wife has explained that she is not a morning person, as we were explaining rope drops at the parks, lol. Long story short, we are figuring out how to get out of this trip. Nothing has been booked yet, including airfare - so nobody loses money. We just don't want to hurt their feelings.

Has anyone out there ever tried bringing friends or family for a first time trip? What results did you get? I would hate to miss out on a great trip, but also worry we could ruin a great friendship. Help! Jane

 

[LaurenT]

It's a tough one!
My friend originally suggested having me plan a trip for us to take our girls and leave the husbands home. I was very careful to say from the very start that it isn't a lay on the beach sort of vacation. That I need to be at the park before it opens and that she would need to trust me if she wanted to get the most out of the trip. Fortunately, she was on board.
Four years and 8 trips later, she is now a DVC owner and her DH joined us last month for his second trip. He is the farthest thing from a morning person and doesn't like crowds, so he does often hang back at the pool, but even he gets up for RD some days....
The shopping thing is easy. Just don't call it shopping. It's simply exploring the pavilions at Epcot. As far as not being morning people, let her know that it's the best way to have a laid back day in the parks - that you'd like her to commit to trying it at least one day and if she wants to sleep in the rest of the trip you'll meet her in the park...

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

I have learned over the years that everyone does Disney different. Were you planning on staying in separate rooms? I think your trip could still go as planned if you didn't try and do everything together. Perhaps more of a trip where you meet up once a day for dinner and park time that way they can sleep in while you rope drop etc. When I go with other people, even my DH, I have to make certain concessions but at least I know that going into it.

If you know in your heart of hearts that this will just not work out then you need to be honest with them. Would you still go just the two of you? If not, you could explain that unfortunately you aren't going to be able to book the trip this year. However if you still plan to go without them, I think you will have to have a conversation and ask if they are really interested. They might immediately own up to the fact that they aren't feeling it anymore but you may also have to explain that you feel Disney may simply be better if it's just the two of you.

 

[Stacy's a freak]

Been there! Please forgive my blunt nature, but it sounds like neither couple is willing to bend to the other. If they aren't willing to browse in stores and get up before noon, that will not suit you. And if you aren't willing to be a little less commando and go-with-the-flow, this may not suit them.

It sounds like you have two options:

1. Call the group trip off as nicely as possible, or

2. Find some middle ground. Maybe you could do your usual schedule and suggest that they meet you in the park at a certain time that suits their vacation schedule.

What is your main goal? To have your usual, commando, wonderful time? Or to spend time enjoying your friends' company in WDW? If it's the latter, you may need to tone it down for this particular trip and make up lost time in a future trip. Who knows ... maybe a day or two into the trip your friends will get the Disney bug and decide to be park commandos (like you) for the remainder of the trip But if you go into it forcing them to sprint about, they may never get the bug and might hate every minute.

 

[Bete]

Been there! Please forgive my blunt nature, but it sounds like neither couple is willing to bend to the other. If they aren't willing to browse in stores and get up before noon, that will not suit you. And if you aren't willing to be a little less commando and go-with-the-flow, this may not suit them. It sounds like you have two options: 1. Call the group trip off as nicely as possible, or 2. Find some middle ground. Maybe you could do your usual schedule and suggest that they meet you in the park at a certain time that suits their vacation schedule. What is your main goal? To have your usual, commando, wonderful time? Or to spend time enjoying your friends' company in WDW? If it's the latter, you may need to tone it down for this particular trip and make up lost time in a future trip. Who knows ... maybe a day or two into the trip your friends will get the Disney bug and decide to be park commandos (like you) for the remainder of the trip But if you go into it forcing them to sprint about, they may never get the bug and might hate every minute.

I agree with this poster.

We have done many trips with naive vacationers to Disney World. If you want to hit the parks early do so and then come back to the resort if they are too scared to meet you in the park or if they can do it meet in the park at a specified time and place. You will have to explain you will enjoy some attractions without them. If you can repeat some of the attractions with them then it will be a minimal loss for them. Newbies absolutely don't get how long of a day you can do at Disney. Some don't want to put in the maximum time. And others can't handle all the walking and waiting; so, they will put in shorter days. The average walking in the parks is between 6 to 8 miles a day. This includes the ride lines. It's not constant walking; so, most can handle it.

I do feel since you have had many trips there you could give up some time and not expect to be there as much as usual. Maybe, try to take more advantage of the extra late park hours then the early ones.

I would get them the free DVD vacation guide and that might help them to see how much there is to do. Get some videos and books at the library as a help for them. The more they know the better off you will be. Now, of course most of the info is dated, but it's still pretty good.

Maybe, you could schedule later fastpasses; so, you could do the main ones together.

I will say most of those that I have guided will listen and get up early. For us, we can get more done with that early extra hour; because, there are less people in the park at that time. I try to get them to understand that aspect.

I have separated at times and then we would pick out a meeting place and time to get back together. Usually, I will go easy on the first day and get them familiar with a park and the transportation and then they can go on their own on the other days.

If none of these options sound appealing to you, then I would cancel the trip and not bring it up to them again.

 

[ZebraDomeCrazy]

Thank you all for your thoughts! Many great points in there. Yes, we are absolutely willing to do as little as they would want. We have seen it all, and will go continue to go back for years. Their requests, when we first started discussing the trip, was that we were the experts, and they wanted us to plan it all out for them. We talked about the miles, and the pace, and the crowds and the possible lines, etc. They were all for it. They wanted to do as much as possible.

Honestly, I am now leaning toward suggesting a completely different trip. Something all inclusive, Caribbean type place, with as many or as little activities as everyone wants to engage in. The "let's meet for dinner" strategy sounds like a win for everyone. As much as it pains me to say this - some people just won't "get" Disney, and I think my friends are two of them. I hate the thought of spending someone else's money, and let's face it, it is a lot of money. If we choose something together that neither has done before, then we are all responsible for how we enjoy the trip. Thank you again for your responses! Jane

 

[DakotaRose]

...Honestly, I am now leaning toward suggesting a completely different trip.... If we choose something together that neither has done before, then we are all responsible for how we enjoy the trip....

Smart thinking. If you give them a choice between WDW and another idea, you'll learn how open they really are to WDW. If you can, just stop discussing it for a few weeks. If they're truly interested, they'll ask you about it, and they'll hop on board when it's time to get out the credit card. If not, you've made it easier for them to decline without hurting your feelings. I actually quit talking about my trip for two months, then told DH that in three days I was booking for these dates. If he was coming, great, but if not I'd still go and have fun. We had a great trip.