Help w/ my coworker (Long Post)

[NikiM20]

My coworker is the sweetest woman in the world, but she is married to the worlds biggest jerk. I know he verbally abuses her because I have seen him do it, he treats their daughter horribly, curses at her and her daughter. She has no friends because of him, he has shut her off away from everyone.

I have tried to befriend her because she is very nice. We get tickets to the universitys gymnastic competitions, so i gave her 3 for her husband, daughter, and herself. We met them there and DH said NEVER again, and DH stated that from the way she acts towards him, and jumps at every move he makes, he probably hits her.

The final straw came yesterday when she came back from break crying hysterically , i thought someone might have died it was that bad. He called her and screamed at her because there wasnt enough money in the account to but a Wii. Said she was never home, she was always working, and there wasnt even enough money for that. Now he doesnt work , he is "disabled" They live with his parents and his parents treat her the same way.

How can I help her see that she is being abused? She talks about what a great father and husband he is all the time. But to be honest he creeps all of us at work out. If he is this bad in public I hate to see how he is in the privacy of their home.

Help me Help her

 

[stargrazer]

I hate to say this, but you can't. You can be there for her, you can be her friend, you can do a lot of things...but you can't make her see or leave a situation that she's not ready to face up or deal with.

I know from personal experience that there are a lot of reasons a person would put up with a difficult spouse; sometimes it IS painful and people wonder why...but there's always more going on than meets the eye.

to you - and your friend. One of these days she's going to wake up and be really glad you are there for her.

 

[escape]

I totally agree with Diana. I personally have not been in the situation as your friend, but I have seen it. If your try to "interfere", even though you are really just trying to help her, she could resent this. Just let her know that if she ever needs to talk, you'll be there for her.

Thanks for caring. I'm sure she appreciates it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Nothing you can do but get numbers to shelters, abuse hotlines, etc... and give them to her everytime she comes in crying to you.
One of these days she may really need it and be brave enough to use it.

 

[alliecats]

That is so very very sad. I am glad she has you for a friend, even though you can't really help her until she is ready to ask for help. He sounds just awful.

 

[NikiM20]

Nothing you can do but get numbers to shelters, abuse hotlines, etc... and give them to her everytime she comes in crying to you.
One of these days she may really need it and be brave enough to use it.

Where can I get these? I would love to be able to print off some info for her just so she can see the "signs" of abuse

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Where can I get these? I would love to be able to print off some info for her just so she can see the "signs" of abuse

Do some googling for your area.