Help! Surviving the dreaded "gimmies!!"

[alc571]

I recommend penny pressing. It took our sons mind off "shopping" at the parks because he was always looking for the presses. We also gave him a $50 gift card for souvenirs, but once it was gone that was it. He understood and it worked great.

 

[SCmom3]

We drive to Disney from NJ so we have the kids "earn" their souvenir money by playing the license plate game. They earn $1 for each different state they find on the way there. We figure that we would be giving them money anyway and this keeps them busy in the car.

We also tell them that we window shop during the trip and go real shopping at the end. We have made a few exceptions if they see something that might not be available anywhere else, but this works well for the most part.

When the kids were very young, we kept an envelope of one dollar bills for each kid so when they wanted to buy something we could physically show them how many dollars it would cost and how many they would have left. Often that was enough to make them second think their purchase. Little ones need something concrete and visual to understand the concept of money.

As my kids have gotten older, we also tell them that they don't "have" to spend their money on vacation. Whatever they don't spend, they get to keep. After many years of buying junkie souvenirs at Disney that fall apart or break before we even get home, they sometimes do actually go home with money!

.

I love his dolar idea. I think his will really help my oldest two (turning 4 and almost 3) to understand their finite spending money

 

[Sheaboys]

We made it very clear from the beginning. We told them, nearly every ride will dump you off in a gift shop. You can look on your way through, we are not spending money. We will go shop 1 day, so keep in mind what you do like.
On the day we shopped, before heading into the store, we told them, you have 1 hour to look and choose. That was it.

We stuck to it. We have 5 boys, so the little ones received 2 items, older boys 1. They choose things you could not get anywhere else, such as a stitch baseball cap.

 

[MSSANDRA]

We just avoid it. We do not go into gifts shops in the parks. When the ride lands us in one, we grab the kid's hand and keep walking and start talking about where we are going next. We avoid DTD, and we try to not walk by the resort gift shop. We lay out the deal BEFORE we step foot on property. Most of the time it is one thing in the Star Wars gift shop though, we did end up with two toys from there our last trip......long story....bribe toy....but not the norm.

 

[snoopy5386]

We do the opposite of most folks I think. We let them get something the first day, it gets it out of their system. Mine are stuffed animal lovers so it is always a stuffie. They are satisfied and never have issues with changing their minds. They tend to latch onto something right away and that's what they usually end up with. Then they may or may not get one more toy at the end of the trip.

 

[noahdove]

Amazing how we all "teach" the spending..My little granddaughter had "her" money and I had more of "her" money that she didn't know about. You see, she loves to shop,however, she usually "forgets" her money wherever we are..I made a deal with her, I told her if we shopped in the parks she HAD to spend her money..she did BUT with caution. She had the best time at DTD and she shopped for others before she shopped for herself....it worked out well and she was a happy little girl, most of the time

 

[samacita]

One more thought to add: I also think parent modeling goes a long way. When kids see their parents delaying gratification and making hard choices, they learn that this is a part of every day life. We make it a point to speak those moments out loud and in the presence of our kids. They've often heard mom & dad say something like, "wow, this xyz is so cool! Wouldn't it be great to have that? Man, I guess I will have to pass since it's too expensive/that's not what we're here to buy/my money would be better spent on other things..." etc. Kids internalize that this is a normal process and also learn not only that it's ok to feel disappointed but also that they can tolerate the feeling of disappointment.

Just another 2¢.

 

[ClaireW]

The best thing I have ever done as a parent was to institute "Today is a looking day, not a buying day." We'll check out the toy sections of stores if he's got his ears on and is following directions. Once we're there, if he keeps hassling me about wanting stuff (3 times, to be exact), then looking privileges are taken away and we don't visit the toy department for the next several trips to the store. The window shopping is a treat to him and we rarely have to enforce the consequences.

If my son sees something he wants, we try to talk about what's cool about it. How we'd play with it. How it's unique. Basically anything other than the "I WANT IT!" whine.Then we'll take (or draw--I got him a cheap notebook for this very purpose) a picture of it. Most of the time, that's enough. It helps to make birthday/Christmas lists, too, which is nice. He usually REALLY wants something if he is willing to draw a picture of it.

So, I might suggest instead of tying up your money on trinkets and then returning what you don't want, take digital pics of the things they see that they really, really want (On a scale of 1-10, 9s & 10s...and 11s ) and then letting them pick one thing to pick up at the end of the trip. It'll be fun to scroll back through the pictures...kind of a virtual catalog of the best of Disney shopping

We did this with our DDs last year (just turned 3 and 5 at the time). They had each been allowed to choose a small stuffed toy on the first night (which meant our beloved since birth Mickeys stayed safely in our room each day!) and we allowed them to take pictures of things they spotted in the gift shops. I think they had as much pleasure out of this 'window shopping' as actual purchases. Just before it was time to come home we made a short list from the photos and both girls were able to select what they wanted and feel happy about it. And we didn't spend the whole week saying no to souvenirs - because whilst they are good girls and don't usually pester for things, Disney does have a way with marketing that I know even I succumb to at times In fact, even I learned to take photos of things and when we made a special trip to DTD to shop I managed to keep everyone's spending under control

 

[Nancyg56]

I did not see how old your girls are but really, you can start at almost any age. I would have them earn their spending money. I think that children do not always have a concept of what money really is until they can relate to the time and effort is placed into earning every dollar. If they are young, the chores do not need to be difficult but they should be in addition to their normal chores.

My DGD was a saver from the time she had her first little purse, and my DD used to help her sort out her money when they shopped so when she got to the checkout she knew if there was some coming back or if it was going to be all gone. She then decided if she really wanted her purchase based on what was going back into her purse

I took her alone when she was almost 5. She had $20 in envelopes every day and could spend it all or put in onto the following day's envelop to buy something bigger.

She is 11 now, and she now divides her money herself. We used to buy her souvenirs but now she is independent and says that she will buy her own. They mean more because she works for them.

I think that you have time to help the kids learn how to manage their money while on vacation and then set the rules for when you arrive. They get to decide...buy now.....buy later. Either way is fine, but when it is gone, it is gone. No exceptions.

 

[martikus]

We plan to treat it like any other experience in a store when we walk by something they like - remind them of the purpose. For example, when we're shopping at Target for diapers and toiletries, they are reminded that we came to the store for those items, not for toys. Same deal when we're shopping for gifts for someone else - our kids are reminded that we are not here to pick out things for ourselves.

When we're in Disney, we'll remind them that we are there for family vacation, not for a shopping trip. We'll talk about having photos and lifelong memories and how precious those will be to us. We will warn them about how tempting the shops can be, and how walking through and browsing can be an opportunity to have fun seeing all the cool disney items. We'll probably let them pick out one small/inexpensive item throughout the trip. But shopping will not be our main focus, and the kids will have a clear understanding of that before we go.

This is us. DS knows he gets one souvenir and the TRIP is the gift and we will not be spending our whole day shopping. Works great.

 

[Nancyg56]

This is us. DS knows he gets one souvenir and the TRIP is the gift and we will not be spending our whole day shopping. Works great.

I remember when my own kids were young. I was alone with them so it was three of them and one of me. I had a finite amount of money. I was not going to be embarrassed every time we shopped so they knew the drill. No one asked for a thing, ever. I made sure that they knew that if I had money left to spend on trinkets I would tell them how much they each could have after I shopped. If they asked me before I was done, there would be nothing.

I never had to deal with the gimmees because I would not tolerate it.

I did this even when they had their own money. We had a time that was allocated for their shopping. When we vacationed, they could shop when we all were shopping. Of course, this was not like WDW, where every attraction ends in a gift shop, so shopping often was part of sightseeing.

 

[DisneyRegulars]

OP can you please report back with the success of whatever it is you end up trying? Sometimes these threads are so unsatisfying because you get all these ideas, but have no idea what actually was tried and whether or not it worked.

Sometimes kids don't necessarily want every item they request, so much as want you to acknowledge that they like it. Try acknowledging that they think the item they want is awesome and see what happens. And also plan a shopping trip towards the end of your trip.

Instead of this typical conversation:
Child: Mom I want this awesome useless trinket!!!
Mom: Put that down we're not shopping now.
Child: But mooooooooom, I WANT IT.
Mom: Come lets go, we're not shopping now I said!!!


Try this:
Child: Mom, I want this awesome useless trinket!!!!!
Mom: Hey, that is a pretty cool awesome useless trinket. Let me take a picture of it, so we can remember it for our shopping day later this week.
Child: Okay, here, let me make a funny face while you take a picture.
Mom: <snaps picture> Okay, lets get out of here before we get eaten by this store.
Child: Sounds good to me.

 

[CuteAndFluffy]

Try this:
Child: Mom, I want this awesome useless trinket!!!!!
Mom: Hey, that is a pretty cool awesome useless trinket. Let me take a picture of it, so we can remember it for our shopping day later this week.
Child: Okay, here, let me make a funny face while you take a picture.
Mom: <snaps picture> Okay, lets get out of here before we get eaten by this store.
Child: Sounds good to me.

This is a great point. A lot of times my son just wants my attention and to interact with me about the awesome doodad he just saw. We'll chat about it and when I ask if he wants a picture of it, I'll get a "maybe later..." For him the joy is in sharing ideas and opinions a lot of the time.

Like other posters, We also try to focus on the idea of experiences being the treat...same goes for movies/sporting events/etc.

I do like the idea of giving kids small amounts if money to be responsible for, but I feel like that works best if you start it at home, not if you introduce it at Disney. There's just SO MUCH going on, that its hard to make great decisions with so many new factors to consider. That's why I prefer the photo idea--you can make decisions in your cool, calm hotel room with a full belly and rested feet. It also does a lot to help learn delayed gratification without feeling like you're missing out.

 

[starbound25]

OP can you please report back with the success of whatever it is you end up trying? Sometimes these threads are so unsatisfying because you get all these ideas, but have no idea what actually was tried and whether or not it worked.

I totally will do an update. It wont be until October
But so far I really like the idea of just laying down the law with them if it is or is not a shopping day or if its a window shopping day that we take pictures of the items they like

 

[Missy13d69]

We knew our 9 year old would be a nightmare when it came to souvenirs, so we laid out the rules ahead of time.

"This is not a shopping trip. We will not go into every shop, we will not stop at every cart. At the end of the day we will go to shops. You will have a set amount of money to spend, once it is gone there will be NO more. Spend wisely. DTD is shopping day, we will go to a lot of shops."

He only asked to go into one shop earlier in the day, and that was at HS when he saw a giant rack of Perrys in all sizes you can imagine. Other than that, he followed the rules. He actually came home with $9.37 of his spending money because he was afraid to use his money up. We bought him a light saber and a balloon, but he didn't ask. Our plan was for us to buy the light saber. The balloon was also something we had planned to buy them.

 

[Freesia123]

I love the picture option!


For my five year old I'm going to try This:

Every night that there is no meltdown or unpleasantness, and she has been polite during the day, Tinkerbell will come with a gift. That is the ONLY way she'll be getting anything. The give mes are going to be considered impolite.

I've bought a couple of dollar store items already and ill buy her a few if the things she likes. We'll take a picture and say, maybe Tinkerbell will bring it!

To be honest, some stickers are just as awesome to her at this age as other things are

 

[2012bella13]

I have the perfect solution. Buy them anything they want. I'm not kidding. But here is how it works. They can have a total of blank amount of stuff. Before the end if the trip they have to look at what they got and choose which they are going to keep and what's going back. It can be a total hassle, but it is done in the hotel room, away from everyone, and once.
We find that most stuff they just want at the moment, and they want to get it more than they want to keep it. You can return anything you buy on property to any where on property. We do it all of the time- usually to the hotel gift shop.
There can be variations like- when they pick something new, tell them do you want this or blank that we already bought. A lot of times they weigh their options and choose. It doesn't matter which they choose either.

I have a ?, Does your children not want to play with the things they bought?? Do you not take the tags off of them??

I ask this because my DD plays with her stuff, she would not want to set it up until the end of the week to decide which she wanted to keep.

 

[superme80]

When we went to Disneyland my sons had a set amount of money, and we added a bit to it. The only time we let our oldest get the first thing he wanted was at the Lego store in DTD. He also wanted a light up Buzz Lightyear. We made him wait a day and he still wanted it. We let them look in the store and told them no often. My boys love to look at toys, but know 98% of the time the answer is no. Have a great time!

 

[KGNOLA]

I had success last year with setting down limits prior to the trip and discussing them frequently. The problem with that is I felt like an ATM machine that was constantly being asked what the balance was... so this year I am giving DD7 a coupon book. I made $5 coupons for her own spending money that she has saved, as well as coupons for things that I will buy for her (she gets a princess dress for her bday, a christmas ornament, and one new charm for her bacelet). I also made coupons for her snack credits and three trips to the pool. I used a book of sticky notes I got at a convention. The rule is no asking for anything, just show me the coupon. I will see how it works when we get there in a couple weeks

Here it is:

 

[starbound25]

KGLONA-

please post back how that works for you! I also had the ATM machine feeling on our last trip!