Help me to make my boys feel special?

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

We all get your opinion on this matter, so I will just assume that you would be one of those people who would "Politely" tell my 6 year old child "No Thankyou".

Unless your six year old is creepy, then her BIL will be "pi....."

Just so ya know, my darlings will say a big thank you and promptly give your six year old something in return.

 

[Disneyadore]

Unless your six year old is creepy, then her BIL will be "pi....."

Just so ya know, my darlings will say a big thank you and promptly give your six year old something in return.

Well thank you for your "polite"answer.Obviously there is no other opinion possible about this subject than yours.
I suppose we can agree we will never agree about this subject.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Today its a glow stick from you with only friendly intentions.
Tomorrow its a piece of candy from a stranger when she ore he comes home from school.

How will you teach a child to be very careful and not to take anything from strangers by accepting something from random strangers in a Theme park?

Today strangers are good but when we get home strangers are bad?

I just don't understand why its totally acceptable to let children accept gifts from random strangers while on the other hand the whole board cries wolf if there is a guest in Speedo's in the swimming pool.
Some one in Spedoo's must be a per......., how dare he....,in front of children....,he must be a creepy foreigner etc etc.
Such a person gets slaughtered on forehand even just for wearing the wrong bathing clothes. On the other hand strangers that walk around and approach children directly to hand out gifts are perfectly acceptable.

Not meaning you in person of course but speaking in overall terms.This is just my vision and every one is entitled to do what ever floats his boat.

Actually there is a huge difference. You are teaching a child to assess the situation and make good choices. A glow stick from another child is a safer bet (has anyone ever come to harm from that?) than a piece of candy from an adult stranger on the playground (many have been harmed.) How else do they learn? Or should they live their entire life afraid of strangers. Maybe that is where the speedo fears come from. (Although, imo, speedos are just nasty on just about anyone!)

My kids have given out countless pins to other kids.

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

Well thank you for your "polite"answer.

Those were your sentiments, not mine, so any impoliteness is not on my part.

Obviously there is no other opinion possible about this subject than yours.

Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing about you.

 

[Disneyadore]

Those were your sentiments, not mine, so any impoliteness is not on my part.



Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing about you.

Maybe the difference between us is that I /we do nor force myself up to other complete strange people or there children to hand out unwanted freebees.

You see this obviously completely different and again we can agree our different
views on this will never meet.

 

[racefanof88]

Actually there is a huge difference. You are teaching a child to assess the situation and make good choices. A glow stick from another child is a safer bet (has anyone ever come to harm from that?) than a piece of candy from an adult stranger on the playground (many have been harmed.) How else do they learn? Or should they live their entire life afraid of strangers. Maybe that is where the speedo fears come from. (Although, imo, speedos are just nasty on just about anyone!)

My kids have given out countless pins to other kids.

I have to agree with you here. I teach my DS to assess the situation. If I am with my child and another child approaches I don't tell him to not talk to the child. If an adult stranger approaches my child then he knows not to talk to them or to accept anything from them, but again assess the situation. Pen trading becomes a thing of the past if no one talks to or approaches a "stranger". How in the world would children ever go to school, church, camp, play sports, or learn to interact at all with others if they never talked to a stranger? Everyone is a stranger until we get to know them. In todays world children need to learn how to assess the WHOLE picture, it isn't always a stranger that our children need to be weary of .

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

Maybe the difference between us is that I /we do nor force myself up to other complete strange people or there children to hand out unwanted freebees.

You see this obviously completely different and again we can agree our different
views on this will never meet.

Yes, you found us out. DS4 and DNiece7 run up to people with gifts while I hold them down and force them to take them. People always get so mad when we share!!! Geez, we're horrible! Can't wait to run amok with magical gifts in a few weeks!!!

 

[hsmamato2]

Pin trading becomes a thing of the past if no one talks to or approaches a "stranger". How in the world would children ever go to school, church, camp, play sports, or learn to interact at all with others if they never talked to a stranger? Everyone is a stranger until we get to know them. In todays world children need to learn how to assess the WHOLE picture, it isn't always a stranger that our children need to be weary of

yeah-that.............................................................................
...................mean,mean,mean! wow! I totally disagree with the OP,I think it's weird to enlist strangers to come up to your kid and lie to their faces....BUT....... some folks here are being pretty mean spirited,IMO.
I personally can't imagine being the person to respond to such a strange request with offers of expensive merchandise and meetups to lie to a child....but to each his own. And my kids are taught to talk to strangers. It's common sense. Kids need to learn very early on to gauge and learn levels of trust/distrust with various people they will come in contact with.

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

yeah-that.............................................................................
...................mean,mean,mean! wow! I totally disagree with the OP,I think it's weird to enlist strangers to come up to your kid and lie to their faces....BUT....... some folks here are being pretty mean spirited,IMO.
I personally can't imagine being the person to respond to such a strange request with offers of expensive merchandise and meetups to lie to a child....but to each his own. And my kids are taught to talk to strangers. It's common sense. Kids need to learn very early on to gauge and learn levels of trust/distrust with various people they will come in contact with.

I must have missed the part where she was asking for gifts...but, really, isn't a lot of Disney lying to kids? Playing along that the characters are real, Tinkerbell is flying during the fireworks, etc., etc.? Not that it's bad, I totally get into it, but I really do think that's all the OP was trying to do. Make a little of her own magic with the help of another DISer. Like I said, I don't really care one way or the other for her plan, but I can't believe so many people had such strong responses.

Totally agree about talking to strangers. A police officer, CM, characters, security, EMT, server, etc. are all strangers. If you sanitize all of your kids contacts with non-family/friends, how will they ever understand how to "read" people?


ETA: I hope the PP who's anti-stranger never did character meet and greets with his/her children. Those people dress up so they can hug on little kids. Talk about creepy!!

 

[hsmamato2]

OP didn't ask for gifts -she asked (rather oddly) for strangers to volunteer to come up to her at a preplanned time and shower her kids with compliments that were scripted by the Op herself. very strange indeed. the next poster very sweetly volunteered the expensive merchandise and fake compliment. I have a problem with fake compliment and over massaging of our childrens'self esteem',but that's a whole 'nother issue.
I am not a fan of lying. especially not for real things,as if I or anyone else would know if your kid is worthy of such a 'compliment' it's flat out lying. And MOST kids, especially those who have been trained from a young age to discern between a lying stranger adult and someone who sincerely compliments the child based on knowing and appreciating them....well......they would not buy this weird scenario anyway.
BTW,when my kids were small,I always talked about visiting Mickey,without clarifying if he was 'real' or not. by about age 3 or so,they insisted on knowing if he was. I told them the truth. That he is pretend,but Disney world is a place where we can all have fun pretending and imagining it's all real for a while. They seemed satisfied. And they kept pretending,just for fun.

 

[peekinglemer]

I'm sorry but I think you are being realy rude now and we should leave the original poster alone, lets not make people feel bad for wanting to do something they think is nice.

I'm in a Disney happy place and will not be dragged down by such bad feeling

My thoughts exactly. There is no need to be so mean spirited or act so superior. And some of you are making some HUGE assumptions about the op and her kids from just reading a few sentences. Very unfair. Although I guess I can see where you are coming from since I feel like I can make a few assumptions about some of you just from reading a few of the not so nice things you had to say!

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

OP didn't ask for gifts -she asked (rather oddly) for strangers to volunteer to come up to her at a preplanned time and shower her kids with compliments that were scripted by the Op herself. very strange indeed. the next poster very sweetly volunteered the expensive merchandise and fake compliment. I have a problem with fake compliment and over massaging of our childrens'self esteem',but that's a whole 'nother issue.
I am not a fan of lying. especially not for real things,as if I or anyone else would know if your kid is worthy of such a 'compliment' it's flat out lying. And MOST kids, especially those who have been trained from a young age to discern between a lying stranger adult and someone who sincerely compliments the child based on knowing and appreciating them....well......they would not buy this weird scenario anyway.
BTW,when my kids were small,I always talked about visiting Mickey,without clarifying if he was 'real' or not. by about age 3 or so,they insisted on knowing if he was. I told them the truth. That he is pretend,but Disney world is a place where we can all have fun pretending and imagining it's all real for a while. They seemed satisfied. And they kept pretending,just for fun.

And this is what I feel the OP's request would fall under. Think American Idol Experience. Some of those people are not good. They must have been at the top of the mediocre pool for the day. Those people feel like a star for the day despite their lack of talent. And who knows...the OP's son could be a super star in the making.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

And this is what I feel the OP's request would fall under. Think American Idol Experience. Some of those people are not good. They must have been at the top of the mediocre pool for the day. Those people feel like a star for the day despite their lack of talent. And who knows...the OP's son could be a super star in the making.

No, I think it falls under the kids who are severely disappointed on AI who scream and cry because they really stink and their family and friends always told them how awesome they were.
Look- tell your kids how great they are. Accept compliments when offered, but don't go around begging people to compliment your kids. Sorry but that is a bit bonkers. I get that the OP was trying to do a nice thing for her kids but in truth it is not a good idea and more creepy than sweet. YMMV.

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

No, I think it falls under the kids who are severely disappointed on AI who scream and cry because they really stink and their family and friends always told them how awesome they were.
Look- tell your kids how great they are. Accept compliments when offered, but don't go around begging people to compliment your kids. Sorry but that is a bit bonkers. I get that the OP was trying to do a nice thing for her kids but in truth it is not a good idea and more creepy than sweet. YMMV.

AI and AIE are different. AI lets those people on for ratings. AIE is actually trying to find talented people. Sometimes there aren't any, so they take what they can get. Those people get pumped for the day but probably won't take it much further.

I honestly don't see this as being a horrible thing. Are you guys truly worried about the OP's child's state of mind later in life due to someone at WDW telling him he's awesome?

Once the OP set up her meeting (which was early on in the thread), what was the point of shooting her down? Aside from the "when you post on a message board," "I have the right to post my opinion" stock answers.

I'm not trying to be facetious (hard to convey tone on the internet), I would really like to hear the answers to those questions.

 

[jenandkids]

Hi everyone from the OP

I have received some very nice PM's from some of you and I appreciate your kind words.

I have not read the many replies, other than the few ones on this last page. I will not go back at this time and read them- because I leave for my trip in a couple of days and would love to continue to be excited.

I wish I could say that the few comments I read on that first day didn't hurt- but they did.

I do not owe any of the rude and mean spirited posters on this thread an explaination. I highly doubt any one of you would get off your soap box long enough to see that maybe you have been judging too harshly.

However, I do feel that the dis'ers who have been supportive and in keeping with the spirit of Disney and believe that Magic can happen in any way -would be interested to hear a bit more....

My six year old son has Asperger's Syndrome. It is part of the autism spectrum. After watching Bolt many times- my son has grasped on to the Hollywood factor in the movie. It is VERY normal for an autistic child to get stuck on something- and for my son- he likes to talk about hollywood. It is VERY INNOCENT!!!!!

I admit maybe if you are some sort of skeptic- then maybe I could see why you would think "that is not something I would ask". But then, I personally wouldn't come on a place such as a Disney board and BASH that mom for it... I would keep it to myself.

My child has just recently started to actually begin imaginative thought. I absolutely will NOT tell him that he is a fool for thinking he can go to Hollywood- I WILL continue to encourage him to develope his imagination. Something that he has to work hard on and like most children- he doesn't come by it naturally.

If it makes me a bad parent by not squashing my son's "plans" at the age of 6- with or without autism- then I guess you can consider me a bad mom.

I do not!

It was an innocent question- I was researching BBB and Pirates cruises, etc. (you know, things that parents book for their children to make the great experience of going to Disney even that much MORE special) that just will not work for my son... and was simply wondering if others have ever come up with outside of the box ideas.

It was not a strange, wrong, psycho, lack of recognizing stranger danger, please make my child feel special because his mom can't do it on her own, etc. etc. question.

Thank you to everyone that has not judged me for my post- and I hope that my explaination helps you to feel even better about your position on this simple question- that was just making the point that even the smallest something extra can make a big difference to a child. (and what that small something can be- is totally different to each child.)

Please do not be so quick to judge people and let's not be so quick to intentionally hurt people

 

[Sapper383]

Hi everyone from the OP

I have received some very nice PM's from some of you and I appreciate your kind words.

I have not read the many replies, other than the few ones on this last page. I will not go back at this time and read them- because I leave for my trip in a couple of days and would love to continue to be excited.

I wish I could say that the few comments I read on that first day didn't hurt- but they did.

I do not owe any of the rude and mean spirited posters on this thread an explaination. I highly doubt any one of you would get off your soap box long enough to see that maybe you have been judging too harshly.

However, I do feel that the dis'ers who have been supportive and in keeping with the spirit of Disney and believe that Magic can happen in any way -would be interested to hear a bit more....

My six year old son has Asperger's Syndrome. It is part of the autism spectrum. After watching Bolt many times- my son has grasped on to the Hollywood factor in the movie. It is VERY normal for an autistic child to get stuck on something- and for my son- he likes to talk about hollywood. It is VERY INNOCENT!!!!!

I admit maybe if you are some sort of skeptic- then maybe I could see why you would think "that is not something I would ask". But then, I personally wouldn't come on a place such as a Disney board and BASH that mom for it... I would keep it to myself.

My child has just recently started to actually begin imaginative thought. I absolutely will NOT tell him that he is a fool for thinking he can go to Hollywood- I WILL continue to encourage him to develope his imagination. Something that he has to work hard on and like most children- he doesn't come by it naturally.

If it makes me a bad parent by not squashing my son's "plans" at the age of 6- with or without autism- then I guess you can consider me a bad mom.

I do not!

It was an innocent question- I was researching BBB and Pirates cruises, etc. (you know, things that parents book for their children to make the great experience of going to Disney even that much MORE special) that just will not work for my son... and was simply wondering if others have ever come up with outside of the box ideas.

It was not a strange, wrong, psycho, lack of recognizing stranger danger, please make my child feel special because his mom can't do it on her own, etc. etc. question.

Thank you to everyone that has not judged me for my post- and I hope that my explaination helps you to feel even better about your position on this simple question- that was just making the point that even the smallest something extra can make a big difference to a child. (and what that small something can be- is totally different to each child.)

Please do not be so quick to judge people and let's not be so quick to intentionally hurt people

I work with a number of children with Asperge's so totally know where you are comming from.

I'm sorry that some of the posts upset you and can totally understand why, all I can say is that the people who wrote them are not worth getting upset over.

Disney is such a magical place and I hope you have a lovely trip.

Not sure exactly when you will be in Disney but we will be there from 17th Sep to 2nd October, if I can help in any way please let me know.

If I'm there after you maybe I could send a postcard to your son to say thanks for visiting, I could send it from his favourite character??

keep smiling