Help Me Please

[plutofreak]

Okay, my dream trip to WDW has just went south.

For months I have been planning this trip,
First, I bought points on the Rent/Trade board for OKW, 9 nights $792.
That is payed for and out of the way.

Next the cast going is ME (21), BF (23), his little sis (9), His mom (40 something)

Okay so here's the problem, I am giving my boyfriend the trip for Xmas, ticket, spending money.

Yesterday his mom says she has no money to go to WDW, after 6 months of planning and her saying yes i have all the money saved up she says she has no money. Which is fine, I understand things happen.

But now everyone is treating me like I'm a bother, like I am making them miserable,

I would just call the trip off, but I already have a room.

So I guess what I'm asking is how to budget really cheap, It's the mom and sister's 1st trip. I think the new magic your way tickets will help. but any other suggestions. The trip is only 28 days away. We are driving, so that cheaper than air fare. I don't know I guess I'm just bummed because I am trying to do something good and fun for them, but they don't see it that way.

Maybe I just needed to vent, thanks for listening!!!

 

[Brian Noble]

Why not just take the boyfriend, and leave mom at home? Is that an option?

"I'm sorry the two of you can't come with us; we'll really miss you."

 

[kerry34]

I aggree with Brian. After all your work getting it together you shouldn't cancel the trip. You and BF should go anyway.

 

[Buttercup26]

Another vote for you & BF going alone. You can always offer to help his mom & sis plan the next trip. Your room is already paid for, go and have a wonderful time!!

 

[Sandyincanada]

I agree with the above posters. Go yourselves or offer to take his sister as well. Maybe his Mom had to spend her savings on an emergency and feels stressed and/or pressured to try to come up with the money again, you never know, it may not be something she wishes to discuss with you. Just a thought.

 

[plutofreak]

It was originally supposed to be me, BF and his sister, but my BF(who I could kill right now) asked his aunt and cousin to come, not really expecting them to be able to come on short notice. Well guess what Aunt and cousin are coming, so now his mom feels she must go because her sister is going.

I've learned a lesson from all this, only plan trips for yourself and be more assertive when it comes to it.

All this crap is giving me a headache.

Another question
Will the mom and daughter be able to eat for $50 a day combined?
They both eat like birds.
I am so thankful for these boards or else I may have said something I would regret later.

I guess I just didn't expect to be treated the way I am being treated for trying to bring a little magic in their lives.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[mom2of2]

yes, they can eat for $50 a day UNLESS you have sit down character meals every day!

 

[bumcat]

Since you are driving you could bring stuff to eat at your hotel for breakfast to save a little money like pop tarts, breakfast bars, etc.
I agree with leaving the mom at home.

 

[SusanD]

I don't know what size room you rented at OKW but there are occupancy limits. That may solve your problem.

 

[mochabean]

Since you are driving you could bring stuff to eat at your hotel for breakfast to save a little money like pop tarts, breakfast bars, etc.
I agree with leaving the mom at home.

Definitely since you are driving either bring food or stop at a grocery store, all units at OKW no matter what size have refrigerators, so you could easily eat breakfast in the room each day and save money that way. Lunch could be done too if it is simple, sandwiches or the like.

 

[way2manykids]

They should be more than able to eat on their own or BF's $50. If you didn't invite them and your BF did, then let BF Pay for them. Don't start out being a doormat. It doesn't bode well for the future of this relationship!

 

[Took]

I agree with way2manykids. It sounds as if you're allowing BF and family to take advantage of your generosity. I'd give what I budgeted for and let mom and others take care of themselves or STAY HOME. Tough luck. You should politely assert your rights, here, or risk being even more "bummed."

Enjoy the trip YOU planned for you and BF. Let others (including BF's aunt, whom YOU did not invite) fend for themselves.

 

[Wishful]

Just to put in my $0.02, I think you need to tell your BF what all this is doing to you...and then bring the family. Even thought they're not your family, it's his and this could affect him too. It was inconsiderate of him to invite others without asking you, but the fact you're trying to accomodate everyone shows how nice a person you are

Let him know what's up and go from there, it's his mom, his sister, etc. he should be the one helping to plan for them or find the money for them, or help tell them they can't come - you've taken care of your part.

Now for the original question, yeah $50 should be fine for them. Me and my mom have gotten away with a $40 a day budget (no sit down meals or buffets) by splitting meals or ordering kid's meals. What really helped cut costs was; not buying sodas or finding a place that gives refills; bringing snacks like trail mix, chips etc. to enjoy in the room (midnight munchies are expensive) and eating something at the room before we left for the parks. By all means, use your fridge or rent one! Yougurt, milk for cereal, juice are all things to save money on. And you can also chill a few beers

If you're comfortable with bidding, eBay has those meal vouchers but they seem to always get bid up to a price so high you may as well pay full value for them yourself.

With our upcoming trip we may have to see if we can get away with a $30 a day budget (we just bought a car)

Good luck!

 

[2ofUs]

For months I have been planning this trip...bought points on the Rent/Trade board for OKW, 9 nights $792...I am giving my boyfriend the trip for Xmas, ticket, spending money.

Yesterday his mom says she has no money to go to WDW, after 6 months of planning and her saying yes i have all the money saved up she says she has no money. Which is fine, I understand things happen.

But now EVERYONE? is treating me like I'm a bother, like I am making them miserable. I would just call the trip off, but I already have a room.

I am trying to do something good and fun for them, but they don't see it that way.

Ask yourself a few key questions: You said this is a gift to your BF - place to stay (almost $800), tickets, and spending money. When did you include his mom and sis...from the beginning? Was it clearly stated they had a place to stay but would have to provide their own money for tickets, etc.? If so, why are you now expected to pay for this? If they cannot afford a trip which has been months in the planning and you have been assured several times that the money was covered, what happened? That to me is a MAJOR question.

If BF mom suddenly doesn't have the money but WANTS to go, perhaps you can suggest loaning her the necessary funds for her and her daughter. Or maybe she really doesn't want to go, or doesn't want to be a financial burden. If you are trying to do something 'good and fun' why is it being viewed differently by BF mom? You need to find out.

On the other hand, if you enjoy their company and they were included in the intial plans as part of BF's gift, I think you are being EXTREMELY generous to buy their passes and food. I would not, however, spend all your time with them. Make sure you and BF go some places together ALONE. Have a nice dinner or take a carriage ride ($30 for 30 min) at either Port Orleans or in Fort Wilderness. Mom & daughter can find something to do cheap or free.

And just who is treating you 'like a bother' - the BF, his mom or the aunt/cousin? How/what are YOU doing that they feel is causing THEM misery? These are very telling words.

As for the aunt & cousin, why would their going add to your burden? Do they have their own funds or expect you to pay? If they are paying their own way and you are providing housing, perhaps they can help pay for the others? Why would BF mom allow herself to feel 'gulited' into going along just because aunt/cousin are? Why would they want to go if BF mom was NOT going?

You seem to be a very sweet 'people-pleasing' personality. That's an excellent quality, but there are many who will use your inability to say no against you (again, speaking from experience). Your posting started off describing this trip as your DREAM, but it is sounding more like a nightmare. It is not bringing you pleasure and sounds like it is straining the relationship.

Sit down and talk with your BF to get to the root of the problem. If the relationship is going in a serious direction, it is essential NOW that you get a good communication developed. After determining the reason(s) for his mom's vanishing finances, and whether or not she really wants to go, if it is appropriate tell BF you simply cannot add to the financial burden (yours and/or his mom's) and don't want to waste the money you already invested. Invite him to come with you ALONE, according to the original GIFT plan. Be prepared for him to say no and plan to go alone if he does.

You are not yet married into this family. This is the BEST time to assert your own strengths and personality. I imagine you worked very hard for the money you have already invested so don't throw good money &/or emotions after bad. My daughter wasted 3 years in a relationship that took a big toll both emotionally and financially. It ended with her credit ruined and her buried in his debt.

Fortunately she is now happily married and expecting her first child, but she and her husband are still digging out of the financial hole her prior relationship left! Please, have a good long talk with yourself, LISTEN to your gut feelings and act on them.

 

[plutofreak]

Okay,
thanks everyone for replies, but I think I may have confused some of you

I am only paying for me and BF. That's it

We have been twice together on our own, so we invited his sis(9). Her mom is paying for her and that has been the plan from the start. And his aunt and cousin are paying there own way.

Anyway, I sat down with my mom and told her everything going on, she said not to worry about anyone else, you and BF get in car and whoever else has the money to come will join you. And I think she's right. I deserve this trip, I in nursing school, work a full time job. (yeap I deserve it)

So my BF and I are going to WDW if anyone else in his family comes that's great if not maybe next time.

I feel much better now

 

[bongo59]

well i would take the hint and get rid of them all............you have time to find others to go with you and i definitely not get into any long term relationship with that guy. My two cents but their actions truely stink. You seem too nice to be treated so poorly

 

[robinb]

I think it's going to hard for you to "dis-invite" your BF's family now that they have been invited, but you're going to have to . I think you'll be in for a tight squeeze with 6 people at OKW since I assume you have a studio. You're over the limit by two and that just isn't going to work. There are only 2 beds, 4 towels sets (and more will cost you $$) and a limited amount of disposable plates, etc. I feel for you. I know your BF invited his aunt and cousin after his mom said she couldn't come and then she changed her mind. You went from 4 people to 2 people and now 6! I know I would be mad at my BF's mom for not being able to make up her mind. It sounds like your BF has a big heart for wanting to invite his family, but someone has to go! Good luck {{hugs}}.

 

[plutofreak]

Well actually, I'm already in a long term relationship. I think 6 years counts as long term. The last thing I am going to do is drop him. He is more important than WDW. But like I said, I'm past it. Whoever comes comes, and we'll enjoy it either way.

 

[robinb]

Whoever comes comes, and we'll enjoy it either way.

{{sigh}} I'll say it again. Six people will not fit in an OKW studio. I am usually not the occupancy police, but you and your BF's family will be very uncomfortable. There will not be enough towels. Or beds. Or even room keys. You're in a bind and I sympathize. However, you need to get your head out of the sand and tell someone there's no room at the inn. As much as you'd like to, this cannot be ignored.

 

[2ofUs]

Great decision...congratualtions. And remember, don't carry anyone elses guilt. If they can go, terrific. If they can't, ask them what they would like you to bring them. Check out that carriage ride option...it is a very special alone time for the $30. Enjoy and let us know how things went when you get back?