Help me get my daughter to sleep through the night!!

[birdiesunshine]

O.k. here's the deal, my 17 month old has horrible sleeping patterns. Her naps are great but nighttime is a nightmare. She goes to sleep between 8 & 9pm every night and it either takes us 2 hours to get her to go to sleep or she is waking up between 3 & 5am wanting to play. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone else going through this or has any advice for me? She naps once a day from 1:30pm to 3:30pm no problems at all!!


Thanks,
Celeste

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If you add up her sleep hours total for the day it is alot.
8-5am is 9hrs or 8-3 6 hrs. Add the 3hrs of nap time and you have a kid that sleeps between 12 & 9hrs total per day.

That is pretty much enough sleep for a busy 17 month old.

In order to change it you have to assess where to adjust sleep time. I would always adjust nap time first, but I suppose you change bedtime hours later.
Do it slowly at first. Changing time as needed until you get the right pattern.

Good Luck!

 

[Eeyore1928]

It must be the age. We are going throught the same thing. Our daughter goes to sleep somewhere between 8-9 pm. We give her a warm bottle of milk and put her in her pack and play with a pillow and blanket while we sit and watch tv with her in the same room. She falls asleep on her own and we move her to her crib. She sleeps through the night then about 5 am she is up! Talking so loudly no one can sleep. So I get up and turn on the tv and sit with her in the living room. Sometimes if I catch her early enough I can get another bottle to her and she goes back out for an hour or so. I have no idea what is happening. She used to sleep until exactly 7 am every morning...then poof! I know she is supposed to be off the bottle but......it is the only thing she will drink milk from for now...and the milk has to be warm. I think it is because I breast fed her. Not sure. I know we are spoiling her...but we did take away her pacifier..which was VERY easy!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'd personally try to cut the nap down to one hour a day and stretch out the nightime sleep.

 

[tiggerwannabe]

my DS was like that-he literally woke up with the birds...
for those that don't know, birds in springtime wake between 4:30 and 5am

I agree with adjusting her sleeping hours,
either work on a shorter nap or a later bed time;
or split it between the two.

Kids don't understand "It's time for bed because it is
8pm", it's up to you to find a happy medium...

Don't worry, it doesn't last forever!
I survived the early mornings and now
I can't get them up before noon! Go figure...

 

[castlegazer]

My DS went through a very similar thing at that age- he was a horrible sleeper from day one - but it became particularly bad at 17-18 months because we had gotten used to sleeping through the night and then suddenly it stopped and he began waking up again and being a real pain in the patookus get to get down at night. I agree that it must be the age - growth spurts - demanding more play time - whatnot.
I have absolutely no advice because you are not doing anything wrong - even the nap time is appropriate. It just passes with time. Although one thing that did work for us slightly was putting him down earlier - contrary to what logic would demand, if you put them down to sleep earlier they actually sleep better and longer. I was doubtful but then tried it and it worked and brought him to at least 5:30 am. I was getting all sorts of conflicting advice from his teachers who said put him down later - that absolutely did not work. I think at that age 8-9 pm bed time is too late and they are over tired which translates into trouble putting them to sleep.

Good luck. Its tough but it gets better believe or not.

 

[Minnie824]

DD was never the best sleeper either, and she's 2.5 yrs now. I used to have her fall asleep w/us there, which started taking over an hour then we'd all be grumpy. I started a new routine. She sat in bed w/us earlier to watch tv and relax her a little, then we brush her teeth, do diaper, read story, and I count sheep with her to 10 and brush my hands over her eyes while I do that. She calls me back a few times, and I count sheep again. After awhile, she just didn't call me back and would fall asleep on her own. Another thing people have told us, that I said, yeah right to, was to try putting her to sleep earlier, even with the nap, cuz maybe she's just overtired. Definitely worth a try. Good luck!

 

[CEDmom]

I know this is going to sound strange but your DD may not be getting enough sleep and is over tired to the point of not being able to sleep well. A child that age should really be getting between 12-14 hours of sleep per day. I'd try moving her nap up a little and her bedtime as well. Just make sure there's a least 4 hours between waking from a nap and bedtime.

 

[kasar]

If you're desperate enough you may want to try the Ferber sleep book. I was too whimpy to follow through (and finally got my 7 y.o. DD from coming in my bed every night a couple of years ago!) but so many people I know have used it successfully.

 

[Serena]

I don't suppose knocking them upside the head with a frying pan would be an option?? j/k

 

[Hillbeans]

Benadryl


Just kidding of course!!!!!

I also went through this stage with my DS. It will pass. One thing I will say is try and not "stretch out" bedtime too long (ie, drink, books, kissing all animals, etc". At a very early age kids learn how to stretch bedtime out for a good half an hour if they can.

Pick a time (8 pm) and get them ready at 7:45. At 8 it should be lights out. The more "routine" you stick to, the better she'll accept it. Also, per my experience, don't "lie" down on the floor with them or linger in their room either...they get used to that also.

 

[Kermit]

I'd recommend the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution. It's a great book full of all kinds of suggestions. The author's premise is that there has to be a way to get children and babies to sleep that's inbetween the cry-it-out method and just waiting until they sleep through the night. She's very non-judgemental and offers lots of suggestions and tells you to pick out the ones that work for you.

 

[birdiesunshine]

Thanks to all who offered advice and similar stories. We'll see what tonight brings and I will let you all know.

Wish me luck!!

Celeste

 

[ChefBilly]

We're right there with you. 18-month old, never been a good sleeper - and we're struggling right now, too.

We did Ferber, and it worked remarkably. But she goes back to waking up intermittently after about a month or so.

It's a very, very tough thing to deal with.
Hang in there. I don't know if I can.

 

[lil mermaid]

What is Ferber?


I don't have a baby yet (not till June, anyway) but I have the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book that Kermit mentioned. I think its a good book and it makes lots of sense!

 

[susy]

Okay, it's been awhile (DS is 6), but I'll try to remember....

I think my son may still have been taking two naps a day ...Anyway, unless you are going to bed at 8pm, is there no reason thatt you couldn't push it up to 9 or 10 pm ?

Dh and I used to do this (it takes two, now!!!): one of us would bathe the baby and the other one would "straighten up around the house, make bottles, etc. During the bath, try not to rush and make it a calming experience- quiet, lights low. Also during this time- no tv on, lights low in the house. By the time our son was in his pj's we just had the tv on very low, lights out. One of us would go with him in his room with his bottle and sit in the rocker and rock him and sing softly (yes you have a voice-don't mess with tape machines). Maybe by now the baby is getting very sleepy and you put him in his crib If the whole house is still going-lights on, loud noises, people moving around, etc, the baby might not "get" that it's bedtime.

Also... all toddlers wake up at 5am-that's nothing new.

 

[Kermit]

lil mermaid, Ferber is the doctor who wrote a book about the method a lot of people call "crying it out." Basically, you let the baby cry for a certain amount of time (I think you start with 5 minutes), then you go in and talk to him and pat him, but you don't pick him up. You get him settled, then you leave. If he starts to cry again, you let him cry a bit longer before you go in.

I think you'll like the book you have a lot better. It has great suggestions about what to do from the time the baby is born. Ferber himself didn't recommend that you use his method until the baby is at least 5-6 months old, and it can be very hard on babies and their parents.